A Friend Like Me – Choosing swingers for your primary friendships

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Making friends is hard enough without worrying about them judging you for the things you do in your bedroom…even if they’re not involved.  Tonight Mickey & Mallory sat down to talk about our own personal experience as we made the decision to prioritize lifestyle & sex positive friendships over traditional vanilla friendships as we established roots in a new state.

Also, we went down to Austin to see Jay & Angie from the Average Swingers Podcast for their annual Austin bar crawl and Angie’s birthday!  Hear all about it on this week’s Casual Swinger!

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Average Swingers

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A Friend Like Me – Choosing swingers for your primary friendships


fucking, people, friends, lifestyle, vanilla, sex, swinger, casual, friendships, bar, feel, rainey street, life, point, sixth street, relationships, austin, couple, hear, conversation


Mickey Gordon, Mallory Gordon


Mallory Gordon  00:08

You’re listening to the casual swinger podcast as your hosts, we need to warn you that the material you’re about to hear may be sexual or explicit in nature. This podcast is intended for an adult audience. Now, we don’t expect you to act like adults. What’s the fun in that?


Mickey Gordon  00:22

We’re a married couple living in Florida with over 13 years of experience in the lifestyle and we take almost nothing seriously. Casual swingers a variety show meaning we’ll cover everything from music to events, travel, and even the occasional hilarious screw up. Our show was about entertainment. We’re not licensed professionals had anything and our stories, commentary and guidance should not be confused with the opinions of a licensed professional.


Mallory Gordon  00:46

Now that you know, let’s take those pants off and get comfy. And welcome back to casual swinger I am now


Mickey Gordon  01:00

you know, I just started this whole thing over just so I can hear you do that again. Okay. Oh, this is Mickey.


Mallory Gordon  01:05

gonna look closer. I’ll do it in your ear.


Mickey Gordon  01:06

You’re gonna do it? Do it. Hey, this episode is called a friend like me. Not quite the same thing is that great song from the great Robin Williams in Aladdin. But more just that’s episode is like looking for a friend like me, people that are lifestyle positive, sex positive, friendly. Like that’s the whole object. And you know, down when we were in Austin, which we’re gonna talk about here in the intro, we met people that were like minded and meet new friends. And it was just like, this is how it’s supposed to be. And this is who I want our friends to be. And it just kind of harken back to five years ago, when we moved to Florida that I felt like maybe we should do an episode on it.


Mallory Gordon  01:42

Yeah. And we gotten into several discussions about like, the the theories or I don’t wanna say policies, but people’s perspective on you know, you know, being friendly and the lifestyles we have run to people that don’t necessarily look at lifestyle folks as friends as you would the vanilla side and, and vice versa. So it’s, it’s an interesting perspective.


Mickey Gordon  02:05

Yeah. And it seemed like it was worth talking about. So we’re gonna get into here in a few but the question that we need to ask ourselves, the question that we’re gonna get into, is why do lifestyles make such great friends? Why do we find ourselves spending more and more time with our lifestyle friends, even in vanilla situations? moreso than our old vanilla friends? Yeah,


Mallory Gordon  02:21

we I find myself craving it. So I’m excited to to have this dialogue with you.


Mickey Gordon  02:25

Yeah. And why do people eat Vegemite? I think we should probably cover that.


Mallory Gordon  02:28

Why the fuck would you ask me that?


Mickey Gordon 

I don’t know. You ate it.


Mickey Gordon  02:32

Yeah, we’re gonna ask Darrell why anybody has that disgust? You


Mallory Gordon  02:33

said it to me to be charming, which it kind of kind of was the time actually.


Mickey Gordon  02:38

Yeah, that’s that’s how I scored a Mallory folks. I sent her Vegemite.


Mallory Gordon  02:40

Yeah, literally. It’s part of our origin story right there. And it smells like a bucket of fart.


Mickey Gordon  02:46

Yeah, it’s just a nasty bucket. I


Mallory Gordon  02:48

was very disturbed by that. But


Mickey Gordon  02:49

I can tell you right now guys, if you want to nail a hot chick, Send her Vegemite?


Mallory Gordon  02:54

No,I don’t think that’s good advice.


Mickey Gordon  02:57

No, probably no. Wait, do you want to tell everybody about the traveling swingers party is all that I


Mallory Gordon  03:02

like traveling swingers. I automatically went to Traveling Wilburys, and then I went down like this keyhole music in my head. So I’m gonna throw this out there anyone who could name the members of the Traveling Wilburys will get then you have to be the first person to do it. I’ll get a picture of my new tits.


Mickey Gordon  03:17

And okay, so where are they supposed to send you, the original members of the Traveling Wilburys? In order to get a picture of your titties?


Mallory Gordon  03:23

They can send that to podcasts at casual swinging.com. Alright, or DMS and Twitter.


Mickey Gordon  03:28

Alright, so either on Twitter or to podcast a casual calm. You get a picture of Mallory’s new boobs if you can tell her who the original members are the only members actually they’re all fucking dead of the Traveling Wilburys. Okay sorry. Do you and your music. Anyway we will on down to Austin to CJ and Angie you guys know those folks is the average swingers for their annual Austin bar crawl and it also happened to be in Jesus birthday.


Mallory Gordon  03:54

Oh my gosh, I love that woman. I love the both of them so much. That was a great weekend. I think one of the biggest highlights is I love that Jay recorded it for one hour so cool. half naked. walked in on break. It is fun on brand for them. And her just the look up surprisingly excitement was so touching. It really was.


Mickey Gordon  04:16

I mean, she jumped up and down like I didn’t know she had that kind of vertical. Honestly, it was impressive


Mallory Gordon  04:20

kidding me that pitch works. Oh


Mickey Gordon  04:21

shit. She can do it like her Sumo squats. Were home points. Yeah. Yeah, way up in the air. But, you know, we went down to Austin, which is one of our favorite cities in Texas just because it’s fucking strange. It’s just such a super fun city.


Mallory Gordon  04:34

They like it. It’s like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get when you go there and a mom


Mickey Gordon  04:38

on the corner you might get a music.


Mallory Gordon  04:41

I didn’t know we were gonna go to daycare at midnight.


Mickey Gordon  04:43

Oh my god, Christine. We went to Rainey street which Rainey street is a really interesting eclectic kind of off six gathering of just weird bars like container bar and there’s a garage bar


Mallory Gordon  04:55

rajmahal Ray and you know, interesting that you know, this used to be Like the hip is up and coming and so


Mickey Gordon  05:01

the old people went


Mallory Gordon  05:03

well yeah, that’s where like the local started to like congregate and whatnot because Sixth Street was so overpopulated run run by, you know, tourists and it kind of seems maybe like


Mickey Gordon  05:13

that flipped. There’s no question about it, it flipped because we went to the daycare, aka Rainey street got the lines were just miles long. Everybody was literally like tits to shoulder blades. There were so many people in those bars.


Mallory Gordon  05:26

I’ve never wanted Botox so bad in my life. I felt fucking old.


Mickey Gordon  05:31

so old, I felt utterly ancient. Like I’m standing at the bar buying everybody around. And I’m looking around and all I see is children. And people are saying to me, pardon me, sir. I’m like, you did not just call me sir. We’re not that fucking Oh, I did find myself


Mallory Gordon  05:52

going, gosh, is he or she old enough to be out here? And I had a great time. Don’t get me wrong. I mean, we we went out we did.


Mickey Gordon  05:59

This was the night before the bar crawl. By the way. This is not where the bar crawl was. The market was not on Rainey Street. But I can tell you that night we ended up going over to Coyote Ugly on Sixth Street. Because there were some people in there and some fun shit going on in the park is Coyote Ugly. But Holy crap, Sixth Street was dead on a Friday night like dead dead dead. They still had a blocked off but there was no one in the streets.


Mallory Gordon  06:21

Yeah, it was very strange because they didn’t do that for Rainey Street. So


Mickey Gordon  06:23

no, we almost got run over like three.


Mallory Gordon  06:26

But I mean, I notice a six for the first exit because I mean, sex is a well known street in Austin. Like it’s like their version of Bourbon Street.



Yeah. And


Mallory Gordon  06:36

New Orleans. So but he didn’t notice that it’s, let’s look at a little downtrodden. Well, and


Mickey Gordon  06:43

maybe that’s a COVID thing. That could certainly be a contributing factor because there certainly are some, you know, resurging mass mandates and Travis County and things like that. But, you know, the thing that I noticed on Sixth Street is we’re walking down. I didn’t hear any live music.


Mallory Gordon  06:56

You know, I was actually that was a point of note for me this trip because we were we love music and Austin in New York City, right? And we have you know, a handful of cities that you and I would go to on a dime, no questions asked just because of the music. And I was a little disappointed and maybe maybe, again, it’s just a sign of the times and you know, it’s difficult, you know, given you know what’s going on in the world right now to to have like music and that just kind of


Mickey Gordon  07:28

kind of bummed me out. That I would stumble across my next new favorite Red Dirt artists while I was you know, wandering down Sixth Street, and a harkening back to wade Bowen.


Mallory Gordon  07:38

I missed the troubadours that are like on the sidewalks I didn’t get That’s true. I


Mickey Gordon  07:43

didn’t Yeah, we saw some of that Nashville but not in Austin. And we’re used to seeing that in Austin. I mean, hell in Austin, I’m used to seeing people playing in the airport. Yeah. And there was none of that. None of that. But anyway, so Jay was naked we surprised Angie for a birthday had a really good time. But really the bar crawl was the real attraction. Yeah. And really enjoy. Oh, my God, what a fucking good job. They


Mallory Gordon  08:04

do an amazing job. And there’s a reason why they’re they’re just fucking so so good at this kind of stuff. And why people love and respect what they do, you know, for this events is especially. And I had I had a great time. I everyone I thought was having a fantastic time.


Mickey Gordon  08:24

Well, I can see singing their praises. Oh, well, yeah, of course. I mean, and that kind of leads to what I was gonna say, which is, at this point, I can safely say, and I could have said this three years ago at this point, but if you don’t love and respect, Janie, Angie, there’s something wrong with you. Because those guys are amazing. They’re just friendly in social in kind, and they ask for nothing. And they give everyone just a straight up shirts off their backs. And just some of the kindest people I’ve ever met in my wife and I just adore them. You know, when we got there. We really didn’t know what to expect. And this bar crawl just had so many highlights. But one of my favorites that I want to talk about before we really dig in any more on it is we got to hang out with some of our friends from P cap that are attending the new p cap encore that’s coming up in Dallas,


Mallory Gordon  09:11

which again, I think back Can I keep doing it again. Yay. Hey there, everyone we ran into that is going to the Encore peak app in Dallas in October is so effing excited and can’t wait.


Mickey Gordon  09:26

Oh, they’re coming unglued. And they’re so excited to do it in Dallas. And so the couple that we saw that we had actually met at the original p cat is casual twice customer as well. And that girl has kick C’s in every style and every color. We need to pay that girl commission.


Mallory Gordon  09:39

Yes we do. And they look amazing on her.


Mickey Gordon  09:43

We actually talk to them a little bit too, which was I don’t want to call them out by name. But you guys know who you are. If you sat and talked to us and we really enjoyed spending the time with them. Just really can’t say enough but let’s talk about the bars in the bar a little bit. I they were


Mallory Gordon  09:58

something 100% Because I love that the first two were LG LGBTQ right there their first did the gay bars and Highland is an amazing one it’s two levels with an open area dance floor right in the center. We’d actually been there before with Janie Angie, when we went to visit Austin previously remember when we got drunk at the castle when did all that crazy shit with them?


Mickey Gordon  10:19

Oh, yeah, that was


Mallory Gordon  10:20

Yeah, that was the same bar we had been to and the staff was amazing. The people seem to absolutely love that bar specifically because the dance area and it was there were good pieces three


Mickey Gordon  10:30

levels to like, it’s great. Yeah. Well, you bet in the dungeon.


Mallory Gordon  10:33

Oh, that’s right. I forgot there is a basement. I took I took somebody down to the basement to give him a tour. Oh, did you? Yeah, I heard everything we want. But what happens in the basement sees in the basement? Oh,


Mickey Gordon  10:44

no, I’m just gonna say I liked Highland because first of all, it’s got that huge open two storey kind of courtyard dance, their dance floor in the middle, and which is really neat. I like that it’s just got a lot of different fun aspects to it, that dungeon in the basement. But what I have to say about Highland is the service is great. Every bartender there it goes just out of their way to smile and be friendly to you,


Mallory Gordon  11:08

you know, and it’s the only bartenders name I remember. I’m usually pretty good at that stuff. And but blessing you got most of the drinks that he mean, but cc was absolutely fucking fantastic. So if you go to Highland and Austin asked for CC, national Take good care, she’ll take amazing care of it. It was


Mickey Gordon  11:23

it was really, really, really cool. And I think everybody really got going at Highland, right, because it’s a dance bar. Right? And then um, well, I mean, I guess that’s a matter of perspective.


Mallory Gordon  11:37

Hey, it was music. I like to dance.


Mickey Gordon  11:39

Well, and I think it’s, frankly, a probably music that the gay guys really love because it’s definitely a gay bar. But it was like Whitney Houston and Lady Gaga and like,


Mallory Gordon  11:49

keep going.



Uh huh. Yes, that


Mickey Gordon  11:52

was basically all of my uncle’s Greatest Hits. Yes. I love that. I mean, I think all we missed was Cyndi Lauper. But


Mallory Gordon  11:59

it just because we laughed.


Mickey Gordon  12:02

But I mean, it’s great. Don’t get me wrong. I mean, it was it was cool. That’s their jam. It’s just not my personal music jam. But I tell you what, they went nuts and the girls were dancing their asses off and it was just a great place to start this thing. I would wholeheartedly recommend checking out Highland. You don’t have to be LGBT long as you’re an ally. You’re gonna have a great time at Highland. Now we went to another LGBT bar right after we left there. It was called rain. Which I had no idea I didn’t even see it. We walked right past it. I didn’t notice it. It was very unassuming from the outside.


Mallory Gordon  12:31

Oh, yeah. I guess their signage wasn’t as predominant, but like inside it was much bigger than I anticipated. Really cool. layout. Huge dance floor. Oh, yeah, absolutely huge. But it was also very crowded. So I didn’t really


Mickey Gordon  12:44

wasn’t crowded, like too bad. We first got there. But then once we got there, it was nuts. Yeah, that’s true. Because we had what 200 people with us, but I gotta tell you the bartender Bobby was spot on. Like, he remembered my name. He remembered our drinks. Right? And every time I went to the bar, he started singing, you know? Oh, Mickey, you’re so fine. Every time we went to the bar, I love it. And but he got our drinks, right? And as a matter of fact, when I was standing in line behind other people, by the time I got to him our drinks were ready. So when when a bar is that crowded when it’s just assholes to armpits crowded, and that’s amazing service. It’s amazing service and the guy. That’s the first time I’ve ever met that dude. Fantastic bartender. Their music was pumping. I mean, it was it was definitely a highlight, I think. Yeah, definitely check out rain as well. I kind of like Highland better because I had a little more room to breathe.


Mallory Gordon  13:37

Yeah, I think rains a little more hip.


Mickey Gordon  13:39

Yeah, REM is definitely the place to be. Yeah,


Mallory Gordon  13:41

it’s definitely Yeah.


Mickey Gordon  13:42

God they were. They were at a counter at the door. They were letting people in as people yeah, they


Mallory Gordon  13:46

had Yeah, they had actually four people counting so like there was a incoming and outgoing and they had doubled to compare.


Mickey Gordon  13:54

Well, when I moved on that line started moving because we took 100 people out of the bar. So people were pretty happy.


Mallory Gordon  14:00

But yeah, and then we went to a cool little like lacs place called Lastly, it was underground. Yeah, I think we lost a lot of people dancing. Yes, fine. And it was just a great way to kind of cap the night and go Okay, you know, take a take a nightcap


Mickey Gordon  14:13

Yeah. Well, at that point, it’s


Mallory Gordon  14:14

midnight. close the deal or whatever. close


Mickey Gordon  14:16

the deal. I think there well, there were a couple people making out like at a table in the middle of the room, but oh my god, I forgot about that Croatian girl. She had the fuck me. species on those. Yeah,


Mallory Gordon  14:28

those were really cool. But yeah, there were titties out. Oh my gosh.


Mickey Gordon  14:33

Easy times. Like


Mallory Gordon  14:34

there’s like smooth jazz.


Mickey Gordon  14:37

Well, the titties are tables. So let’s get that point. We had nothing to do with that. No, we just turned around people sitting at our table had their tits out. I was like, well, then it’s gonna be that kind of


Mallory Gordon  14:46

great. Like everywhere we traveled is like, Oh, can Cheers. titties, right? Yeah, I think that should be thing.


Mickey Gordon  14:52

Yeah, why not? Well, I gotta say that regardless of which bar we went to the best feature about the average swinger bar crawl Is the people like you can tell Janie Angie had been doing this for 10 years. They’re amazing hosts. I every time I saw them, they were talking to someone else. They made sure that every single person that came to their event was just hosted that they knew where to find Janie. Angie if they need anything. It was awesome.


Mallory Gordon  15:20

I love that we were able to connect with some new folks as well. I mean, you ran into that brand new couple, right? Just like in a while we were getting lunch.


Mickey Gordon  15:31

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, so we went to that hot dog joint right for lunch. The day of the bar crawl. And I went down I don’t remember the name of the hot dog joint. I


Mallory Gordon  15:42

know I had a hot dog. It used to be bucking bar. It used to be like some like punk club or something.


Mickey Gordon  15:48

It looked like it It had a gargoyle in there is the gargoyle


Mallory Gordon  15:53

Oh walls are painted black has this jukebox. And it’s playing again with jazz music. Oh yeah. Like what that’s like out of a jukebox. And but it looked like this is somewhere like, you know, like the Pixies would play.


Mickey Gordon  16:10

Yeah, maybe. I don’t know. Anyway. Yeah. Rainbow Room, something like that.


Mallory Gordon  16:15

Very much so but it’s a hot dog burger joint. Yeah,


Mickey Gordon  16:17

yeah. And so I mean, the food is pretty good. But I went downstairs looking for a fork. Because I didn’t I didn’t want to eat the bun. So when somebody my hot dog with


Mallory Gordon  16:26

so you spell it right in your head, because maybe when you put it out to the universe for get misinterpreted is


Mickey Gordon  16:32

Fuck Yeah, well turns out. So


Mallory Gordon  16:35

I waved at you and you get this hot couple downstairs. I’m like, whoo.


Mickey Gordon  16:39

Right. I’m standing down there looking for a fork. And I was wearing a casual t shirt. And the guy goes, I’m gonna guess that is not a place to buy Legos. And I was like, you’re 100%. Right?


Mallory Gordon  16:49

Oh, great. Man. I


Mickey Gordon  16:50

turned around. And then we just started talking. And I mentioned that we were there for the average swingers bar con because Oh, you guys are swingers. And I was like, Yeah, I said, you know, we host a podcast as well. And I told him who we were and turns out that they were lifestyle. They were there with another couple and a unicorn who were lifestyle all from West Texas. And they were super cool. I can actually not I don’t want to say what city they’re from because you know, that’s not exactly large and put them out there. But if you’re listening, y’all you know who you are. They were super nice. Screaming fucking hot,


Mallory Gordon  17:27

by the way. Yeah, delicious, looking like


Mickey Gordon  17:30

stumbling over my words. Right? And this is the best part, right? So we’re standing there talking and his wife comes over to introduce yourself to me. And I’d like to think I’m pretty good at words. I’m


Mallory Gordon  17:43

God. What did you do?


Mickey Gordon  17:44

And I usually am but there are times for whatever reason were like, smooth. Mickey is not part of the organization. Tell


Mallory Gordon  17:53

her she danced good. It


Mickey Gordon  17:55

wasn’t even that good. I mean, only four times as we’re talking as a group. Did they tell me what part of Texas they were from? Okay, she comes over to talk to me personally. shakes my hand looks me in the face words. Nope, nothing. I looked at her like so. Where are you from? That’s what I had. Oh, wait ago Mickey fucking dumb ass. just ruined it. She looked at me like Oh, he’s an idiot.


Mallory Gordon  18:19

Yeah, she may have thought you were simple.


Mickey Gordon  18:21

I think she does think I’m simple and I’m not simple. I was just stumbling over my words because in the lifestyle you just don’t meet very many girls that are that outwardly pretty and she was one of them. Just an absolute smoke show. And but the most important part is he was super cool. super sweet. super nice. We ended up talking about Wade Bowen and Randy Rogers because to be ended up being some of their favorite acts. That’s


Mallory Gordon  18:42

awesome. That’s one of my favorite things to ask about people from Texas, and I’m like, this is how I’m gonna judge you forevermore. Are you a fan?


Mickey Gordon  18:48

That’s right if you’re not a fan, Randy and Raven Fuck you, but no, they totally were how we feel. No, not at all. But Cody, James Parker, McCollum. You know, I mean, just you did the whole list. Are you gonna say


Mallory Gordon  18:58

do you do you know how many girls would do dirty dirty shit to Parker right now? Oh, yeah. No,



if you Yeah,


Mallory Gordon  19:04

if you follow him on Twitter, like there is like they’re fucking thirsty for him. And if you don’t know who Parker McCollum is, just google him. Trust me.


Mickey Gordon  19:14

Well, same thing as co wetzel. He’s like a dirty looking bar drunk girls guys


Mallory Gordon  19:17

yeah, but Parker’s high res is fuck yeah. But like it’s almost like how girls thought



back in the day,


Mallory Gordon  19:26

you’d have to go look and see it for yourself but he’s actually a very very attractive man with a beautiful voice and a great Well it


Mickey Gordon  19:33

sounds like you’re one of his not huggers to Oh,


Mallory Gordon  19:36

I do dirty things to have no doubt.


Mickey Gordon  19:38

I don’t know the I we’re qualifications are as high as the average person.


Mallory Gordon  19:43

What do you mean


Mickey Gordon  19:44

your dirty swinger? Right, people look at us and go.


Mallory Gordon  19:48

I’m more discriminatory when it comes to sex.


Mickey Gordon  19:52

I know you’re discriminated I was fucking with you.


Mallory Gordon  19:54

Oh, okay. You didn’t look like you had the joking thing going on with your face.


Mickey Gordon  19:58

Oh, well, that’s my face. I can’t Do anything.


Mallory Gordon  20:00

So what else we have going on? Well,


Mickey Gordon  20:02

anyway, alright, so we said bye to Jay and Angie and I do want to point out that they hung around just to hang out with us for a little bit in take us to the airport.


Mallory Gordon  20:08

Yeah, they literally drove we just drove around in circles and got coffee.


Mickey Gordon  20:12

Yeah, we had an hour to kill them. They’re like bucket, we’re killing another truck when got some coffee and just kind of hung out with them. And got some hugs. I can love those guys know you guys are gonna hear this because we’re talking about you. And that’s the only time you listen to our show. We fucking love you. And thanks for doing that. Now. What else is new? As you asked about p cap, they got a few rooms left, right.


Mallory Gordon  20:31

Yeah, I think they’re gonna sell out here soon. So if you guys are looking to join the event in October in Dallas, please visit podcast a palooza.com. Or follow your favorite folks on Twitter that are sharing their affiliate link, or whatever’s going on. But get your room soon if you’re planning on going because it won’t be much time now.


Mickey Gordon  20:51

No, I don’t think so at all. And the rascals November trip is still on despite no movement days in Jamaica, we’ll keep you guys updated. If he cares to check back here or follow www.visitjamaica.com. for up to date information from the horse’s mouth. No, something else important that just happened today. The CDC moved Jamaica to what’s considered level four. I don’t really know exactly what level four means. Except probably, you know, you’ll see some sort of a State Department alert about not going there. Because COVID is so prevalent. I don’t know that that’s necessarily going to apply to the resilient quarter as much But don’t take my word for it. Check out visits make it


Mallory Gordon  21:29

it’s a it’s a constant, evolving situation. And the level may or may not dictate any changes to their policies between the US and the island and country of Jamaica for how you get in and out of the country.


Mickey Gordon  21:42

Yeah, pretty much. And if you got questions, you can always message us on podcast at casual swinger, shoot us a message on Twitter and we’ll give you whatever the most current information we know happens to be. Now something else about September that you guys may not know. is happy birthday to Mallory my Yeah,


Mallory Gordon  21:57

it’s coming. It’s SOS Mallory. I love birthday month.


Mickey Gordon  22:03

You want birthday sex. 30 days in a row? I do. I do. It’s just fuck me all month long.


Mallory Gordon  22:08

I do I love it.


Mickey Gordon  22:10

But we’re gonna celebrate my dirty Queen all month long on casual toys with a special discount code for you guys. It’s happy B day all one word happy B day just because we wanted to reason to give you guys a sweet discount. Mallory was born her parents were her and he they banged it out. And she was born in the great month of September.


Mallory Gordon  22:27

Yes. This is true. I was a honeymoon baby. Fun fact. Were you really you’re married? Yeah, they barely Yeah, like I counted backwards. And I was like, Huh, here’s barely made the cut off. I’m just saying.


Mickey Gordon  22:40

Oh, I made like a try. And I’m sure


Mallory Gordon  22:41

yeah, no, apparently. Yeah, no, definitely not for like,


Mickey Gordon  22:47

Well, hey, what are we doing this weekend? This is probably worth talking about.


Mallory Gordon  22:50

Yeah, we’re going we’re going back home for a few days old stump and grand old stomping grounds. We got a baby shower. Vanilla event. Oh,


Mickey Gordon  22:59

I’m not gonna be vanilla there. I’m just gonna leave my dick out.


Mallory Gordon  23:03

I am totally getting a little wasted at a baby shower, because I feel that that’s fine.


Mickey Gordon  23:07

I think I should get dated there. That’ll make good sense. Yeah, man. Why not? But yeah, we’re going to get a little taste to fall back in the great state of Virginia. So we’ll go up and see some more people. And I think the last thing before we really get into the meat of this episode with this long intro for you guys is how about a sweaty summer update there Mallory? Yeah,


Mallory Gordon  23:25

I think sweaty summer has hidden a plant who kind of dropped the ball a little bit like ended July beginning of August just got caught up in like day to day life and I was like, Oh, I should and then I got my boobs. So I definitely threw that through a yeah because I haven’t been able like we’ve barely been able to have sex and like when we do we have to be very intentional and strategic about it because can’t be bouncing the girls


Mickey Gordon  23:53

around you know how hard it is to bang somebody properly and not shake their heads.


Mallory Gordon  23:57

Right? I was this close to going to get duct tape the other night just to lay them pitches.



Me Well,


Mallory Gordon  24:07

gentle Levin’s. I mean it’s good but not like I need a good book.


Mickey Gordon  24:14

Well, I think maybe since slutty summer was a complete bust. We’ll just go for horniest fuck fall. What do you think I’m


Mallory Gordon  24:20

in horny-as-fuck fall. Here we go. Get on the train, motherfucker.


Mickey Gordon  24:25

All right, well, hey, let’s get on with it. We’ll be back in a flash with a friend like me right after Mallory reminds us and all you 60 fucking friends out there. How to find us.


Mallory Gordon  24:36

Well, we are Casual Swinger everywhere. You can find us at casualswinger.com.  Wanna chat? Feel free to shoot us a message at podcast@casualswinger. If you love us and like to say something nice, feel free to do that on iTunes Apple podcasts. All right. We are also located on social media, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and Instagram. Like us enough to maybe want to date us?  Check out our Dating profiles at double date nation, SDC, SLS, and Kasidie


Mickey Gordon  25:03

diggity damn that’ll do it. Alright folks, we’ll be right back with a friend like me. You’ve been listening to casual swinger. Alright, we’re back to casual swinger. I’m still making me


Mallory Gordon  25:36

and I matter. So


Mickey Gordon  25:38

we’re gonna get into a friend like me. But before I do that, you might hear some clinking and clanging. And we’re not going to talk about cocktails this episode, we’re just going to tell you we’re drinking knob Creek 12 year and it’s fucking good.


Mallory Gordon  25:50

It is delicious. We haven’t really been drinking much these days, which actually enjoy I feel better as a whole. Yeah, right.


Mickey Gordon  25:55

It was just seemed like a good time. We’re recording kind of at a scene.


Mallory Gordon  25:59

I have just like crazy fucking work schedules. Get me stressed out.


Mickey Gordon  26:02

Yeah, you’re down in Lauderdale for the next couple days.


Mallory Gordon  26:05

Yeah. And then we’ll turn right around and go to


Mickey Gordon  26:07

the gray vagina, the great


Mallory Gordon  26:09



Mickey Gordon  26:10

Right. So anyway, friend like me. So what’s the impetus for this episode? So we moved to Florida, about five years ago, we came from an area where I had effectively, I don’t know, it’s just a buttload of double digit year, 10 year, vanilla relationships, so many vanilla relationship,


Mallory Gordon  26:27

and it was wonderful. It really was,


Mickey Gordon  26:30

it’s great. And I miss them very much. But I really want to kind of start out with, you know, we came to town, and we said, we’re only going to make our relationships, at least lifestyle friendly. That was our goal,


Mallory Gordon  26:42

right? Because when we took took a step back and looked at our life while we were there, and said, if we could improve upon anything, what would it be, and it would to form more of those types of relationships that allowed us to be our more true authentic selves. Because we did feel like we were reserved in that some of those vanilla relationships, and they there were a handful that were very open and knew about us, and were still very supportive, but it was not very common. And we didn’t really feel like we had to tell her come out to the to the rest of them. Because I mean, it’s a small community of dairy,


Mickey Gordon  27:15

and I was either run for mayor or leave, right?


Mallory Gordon  27:19

It was either that or you were gonna have a cold, I wasn’t really sure what’s


Mickey Gordon  27:22

gonna happen. I think that that’s something that we’re pointing out here at the beginning of this, because First things first, this is not something that everybody can do. Alright, if you live in the town you learn to walk in, it’s going to be hard to abandon those lifelong vanilla relationships and just start over. It’s not easy to do. And that’s what we did, which enabled us to make this change in our core circle of friends.


Mallory Gordon  27:45

Exactly. We said, Hey, this could be an opportunity for us. And not that we’re necessarily wiping the slate clean, but writing who we are in this new community. And and taking the reins and, you know, building our own narrative instead of letting the narrative happen to us. Exact Does that make sense?


Mickey Gordon  28:04

Yeah, it’s telling your story, instead of letting your story tell you


Mallory Gordon  28:08

so in, in some of the dialogue and other conversations I’ve seen, even on social media and other like forums and stuff, sometimes there’s there’s two different beliefs as far as how lifestyle relationships are looked at. Some people, you know, criticize others to define themselves, but the lifestyle friendships and circles that they, you know, primarily or only operate in, or people stay away and say, Hey, this is only sex for us. And, and we don’t need a relationship from you guys. We have vanilla friends for that. And I find that a little strange that there’s some polarizing conversation out there. Because so many people we run into, seem to have a similar school of thought maybe not exactly the same, but similar, where they like having a friendship with the people that they potentially maybe might have sex with, but it’s not required.


Mickey Gordon  28:55

I do think we’ve seen a lot more of that. And we’re certainly going to talk about that as we dig into this a little bit. But I do find it a little bit off putting when I see somebody’s profile, then there’s a lot of things that are off putting to me because I’m kind of an asshole, but I do think that one of the ones that really kind of rubs me the wrong way is when they say we all know what we’re here for. We don’t need to be your friends. We’re not going to have endless conversation. So let’s just get to the bedroom stuff,


Mallory Gordon  29:20

you know, and I’m like, I


Mickey Gordon  29:21

don’t want that. I don’t want that from your wife and I don’t want that for my wife.


Mallory Gordon  29:26

Okay, but you know what, on the flip side of that coin, thanks for letting me know right out of the gate that I don’t have to read any further into your kings likes and dislikes. You know, thanks for putting that


Mickey Gordon  29:35

I don’t have to care what you like.


Mallory Gordon  29:36

Well, you know, and that’s that’s just a hard pass and we shouldn’t Yak somebody else’s young.


Mickey Gordon  29:41

Not at all. It just puts me off and mate turns me in the other direction. It’s I’m not yucking it at all. You do you? That’s very libertarian when it comes to sex. Yeah, you do.


Mallory Gordon  29:50

Yeah. Yeah. I’m fascinated by it. I again, would love to learn more about the psyche behind how they operate with those objectives just because it’s different and I like learning. Yeah, yeah.


Mickey Gordon  30:03

Well, let’s kind of you will, because we’re gonna get into the wrong stuff here in the wrong order. Yeah. So what brought us in your opinion, to the decision, we were leaving the North, we came to Florida, what made us go, we want to prioritize lifestyle relationships, and lifestyle friendly relationships for you, from your perspective, I


Mallory Gordon  30:22

think I’m with you on this one, because we’ve talked about it before you kind of felt like we are hiding, like we were being we felt a little repressed. And because this relationship there were predominantly vanilla. And so like, I always felt like I had to have a filter or mask on and I’ll and a lot of situations, and it was more so to protect them than it was to protect me in a lot of cases. So again, I don’t want to be offensive. Like, I have a potty mouth. Um, you know, I’m not very lady like in some situations, I always try to carry myself with you know, class and etiquette, you know, but at the same time, I’ll tell dirty joke like nobody’s business.



I can’t.


Mallory Gordon  30:59

I can’t wait. I can dirty a sailor Ralph. I kind of carried myself in those situations, but then you take into account the small community and the price our kids could pay for that at the time. I definitely didn’t want to pass any of that on to them. Because I felt emboldened to say, you know, you know, fuck societal standards. Here I am. And here’s who I am.


Mickey Gordon  31:17

Yeah. Which is what we do today. But you know, it’s funny. We you talk about less consequence,


Mallory Gordon  31:22



Mickey Gordon  31:24

Well, it’s true. We have done our kids are older now. But we’re not that old. We just had kids young. But the point I feel like I need to say that just in case. You know, any other young, beautiful. Yeah,


Mallory Gordon  31:32

we weren’t old enough to buy booze? Yeah, when we had kids.


Mickey Gordon  31:36

Now, you know, for me, I struggled to answer this question back then. And it’s what drove me to this position, which is, if somebody doesn’t really know me, how can they say they love me. And there were so many people in my circle, that didn’t know who I am, and didn’t know how I feel. And they didn’t know that part of me, and not that they needed to know it. But I had this fear that if they ever got to know that side of me, they wouldn’t feel the same way about me anymore, that


Mallory Gordon  32:09

they would reject you. Now, you’re scared? Yeah.


Mickey Gordon  32:11

So that brought this fear out in me that made me want to hide, and I didn’t want to hide anymore. You know, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, we were sick of the shame. And no one was shaming us because no one knew what really, I mean, some people did. But just the fear of shame. I remember we were at a vanilla party once and a group of people were discussing another friend of mine. dressing like a slot is what they said it was quotation marks.


Mallory Gordon  32:37

I bet it was women. It was a bunch of women talking about it.


Mickey Gordon  32:41

And I remember after one of your first visits up, you had a pair of damn near thigh high boots. They were like Shin knee highs,


Mallory Gordon  32:51

they were literally boots with the fur. They were boots. Like that’s how long ago it was.


Mickey Gordon  32:55

And your boots were subject of conversation because they were sweaty. Yeah, quote,


Mallory Gordon  33:00

and I was covered literally, from my neck to my toes completely covered, but it wasn’t


Mickey Gordon  33:05

because I didn’t understand them or never seen them before. We’re a topic of conversation. So most of the people talking were women who had long given up garnering their interest of anyone but they’re betrayed, but the statement that got me that really kind of threw me off was my husband doesn’t need to see that. Like, bitch. Yes, he


Mallory Gordon  33:22

does. What the fuck is up with that kind of mentality? Like? I, again, I know, we’re so far removed, that sometimes looking at it from the other side of the looking glass, right? Seems just as perplexing as the other?


Mickey Gordon  33:38

Well, I’m sure. You know, it’s, I mean, as a man, I think that it’s frustrating to hear, especially as somebody that tries to think about the other person’s perspective before I get upset. And but I still was like, What do you mean, your husband doesn’t need to see that? Have you? Have you asked him if you talk to him, but I don’t even know what what is a woman’s perspective? Well,


Mallory Gordon  33:59

so, so much yes to all of that, right? When we were, you know, having conversations about this topic, like all I could think about is how, you know, the societal standards, or maybe other women’s experiences have built on that kind of attitude that they have towards each other, especially in the vanilla world, and maybe it’s gotten a little bit better over time. But remember, I came from a dance community in the late 2000s. And women are fucking brutal. Sometimes either they were your ride or die, bitch, or they’re planning your demise. It was very black and white, there was no in between. and there wasn’t any understanding of support, especially in regards to sex. Like society teaches that it’s shameful you’re not supposed to want it or desire it. It’s just supposed to be this mechanical operation that you do in order to procreate. And that’s it. And I mean, we’re breaking some of those boundaries. But I think it puts women in this box at once they’re in this monogamous relationship, that you know, the, you basically die except for that, that Other human year, whether you live in this box together now, sure. And it’s it’s befuddling to me. And anything that threatens that box is exactly that they see it as a threat. And it’s almost like a pack of like, you know, female lions, that they huddled together to protect, you know, the young and, and whatnot or the you know, and then they actually start hunting together on that fact. Yeah, because if you’re identified outside that pack as a threat, they will actually


Mickey Gordon  35:25

hunt you will have the Scarlet s on your chest knocking


Mallory Gordon  35:27

bizarre behavior, where on the flip side of that equation, in the lifestyle, I found that women actually do have the ability to be supportive and cheer you on and kind and it’s not a prerequisite or requirement but it you see it a lot more often. And it’s almost like if, if that alignment doesn’t exist, they just kind of move on. And it’s it’s a non issue. And it’s not 100% guarantee. It’s just a lot more civilized. Yeah, over here.


Mickey Gordon  35:59

I don’t know why in that moment. You said the word guarantee and all I heard was that old cooking show Justin Wilson are gay wrong. I don’t know why I haven’t watched it yet. And you know,


Mallory Gordon  36:10

what do we think we still have that Cajun Creole from the couple we met while we some of that so I think they were the Swinging Cajuns. They were they were I don’t I don’t know. can’t


Mickey Gordon  36:20

call them better names right now, but I get them wrong. I


Mallory Gordon  36:23

know. I know. They’re raging Cajun vans and they did not do well with


Mickey Gordon  36:28

Lafayette Texas, sorry, they’d had a good first half the second half did not go there.


Mallory Gordon  36:33

Yeah. Be prepared for us to talk a lot about sec football. I’m just throwing that out there. Go


Mickey Gordon  36:38

Come on. Fuck the SEC. clemson got robbed. Yeah. All right. Anyway, you know, I do think it won’t. We’re not doing we’re not advocating coming out here guys. We’re just gonna talk about why we prioritize lifestyle friendships. And in my vanilla friendships, I really felt like we were living our lives with one arm tied behind our back.


Mallory Gordon  36:58

Yeah, and that’s actually a great analogy, you know?


Mickey Gordon  37:03

I mean, we went to toy store. And I think I still felt living in Florida. I felt weird about telling some of our friends up there that I’ve known for 30 years.


Mallory Gordon  37:11

I about shit my pants The first time I heard you say that in public. And then I stopped for a second and I went, you know what? Who cares?


Mickey Gordon  37:19

That’s it. That was a willful decision that I made that I’m going to stop hiding. If you don’t want to be our friend, because we own a sex toy store, then you’ve got something wrong with you. What’s my if I said I sold radios, no one would be shocked. No, it would be no issues. Matter of fact, people would just want me to put radios in for free. The difference is now when I say I sell rubber dicks. People asked me for a discount on rubber ducks. And we have positive conversations about sexuality.


Mallory Gordon  37:45

And you know, I love that but, you know, call me on my bullshit here. I was present. during that first time I saw you have a conversation with somebody who was vanilla that we owned a toy store, and you saw the panic, oh, my eyes and you didn’t stop and you were like, you gave me the look like Trust me, I know what I’m doing. And I’m over here. Like, trust me, I’m gonna kick your ass as soon as this is decked out, because I was so concerned about the judgement. And I don’t know if that was just because of the the connection to sex in the conversation because most people find it taboo and don’t accept it. Or maybe a double down because I’m also a girl. And if I’m tied to it, then it’s extra


Mickey Gordon  38:22

judgmental. And I think people also have a bit of a radar for people that aren’t confident or convicted in their beliefs. And, you know, when I talk about our lifestyle, and our store, and our kids and our lives, I speak with conviction because I believe in my heart and soul, that our sex positivity and our lifestyle and the things that we try to do for this community. Help people. I think we’re trying our best to make it a little bit easier to just get by not being just like everybody else. That’s why we do this show for you guys. That’s why we do the store for you guys. We do all these things to meet just let you know you’re not fucking alone. And this episode is about making friends that make you feel like you’re not alone.


Mallory Gordon  39:07

Yeah, we’ve talked a lot about finding your tribe. Yeah, but I think it’s very important. I mean, every humans need a sense of community. They need a tribe they need a congregation at times.


Mickey Gordon  39:22

Yeah, just somebody to bitch to.


Mallory Gordon  39:25

We live in relation to something else. Constantly. Everything we talk about disgust think about isn’t relation from point A to point B. Yeah, every single fucking time. And it’s really it’s really wonderful, from my perspective, to have that in my life as a whole, including sex, including lifestyle, including being a parent and a professional and all the other things that happen and it’s really great when I can talk about all of those in the same sentence or the same conversation. same sentence, maybe actually, right? But


Mickey Gordon  40:00

well, I can tell you that you know, some of my friendships and I’ll name two off the top of my head who are easy people for me to name, one of which is Jay from avid swingers and the other is Dave from Doubleday nation. You know, I can honestly and genuinely and truly say those guys are dear friends to me, both of them are, and of course, their lifestyle. But I will tell you that nine tenths of the conversations we have our lifestyle at all, they’re just about random shit in life. But it can be about anything. And I think that’s my favorite part. Because you and I have talked about this before. The lifestyle is not a hobby for us.


Mallory Gordon  40:39

No, it’s definitely more it’s, it’s a second, it’s an orientation.


Mickey Gordon  40:43

It’s who we are. It’s an orientation, it’s we are this way, if I get hit by a bus tomorrow, you’re not gonna stop being lifestyle.


Mallory Gordon  40:49

No, I think I think I need that autonomy and that inherit that, that next level of love. Yeah, it’s really hard for me to not look at what you and I have as a couple and not identify that that next level, or another depth to love that we formed over being in the lifestyle. And maybe that’s unique to us. Maybe not? I don’t know, but I would want if I had an opportunity to have that again. And you better not get fucking hit by a bus. I would try to stay I would want that I would want that. And I want to share that with someone else. I almost feel like I need to enlighten them and ensure that part of me with them if I truly cared that deeply for them.


Mickey Gordon  41:38

Yeah, I you know, I think so many times in so many places, so many content creators in any space. equate the lifestyle to sex. They equate the lifestyle to who you’re fucking that you’re not married to. I just don’t see it that way. I see the lifestyle as I know where the door to Narnia is. And if you want in, well, you’re just gonna end by the way, I realized that as a religious fucking book, and I did that. Oh,


Mallory Gordon  42:05

it is oh my gosh, I’ve overheard going Ooh, CS Lewis is turning over in his grave.


Mickey Gordon  42:09

It’s not the first time I’ve made him turn. Yeah, they were my favorite books. And it was a kid. protip fun fact about Mickey, anyway. But what I can tell you is from my relationships, not from the relationships I had. And this is not dogging on yours. Vanilla relationships. From my new relationships, I wanted to establish from the beginning that we wanted more. We wanted more fun. We want a more laughs maybe more sex. But maybe we wanted a little less too.


Mallory Gordon  42:41

Yeah, definitely less. I mean, the less hiding less shame. Those absolutely came to mind. We wanted to, you know, drop the that persona a little bit and be our most authentic self.


Mickey Gordon  42:57

Yeah, there’s no persona with us. And I think some of you that have gotten to hang out with us. And let me rephrase that some of you that we’ve gotten to hang out with, because that’s how we feel when we get to meet you guys. 100%. And, you know, I think what we found is there’s no persona you find that when you hang out with us to this is the same right? When you’re listening to you right now, you might as well be in the room, we don’t change.


Mallory Gordon  43:19

Yeah, but the other set of is less guilt. Like you said, one arm tied behind your back, like there’s this, this dirty little secret of this, this part of me, that’s a big part of me, but that I can’t, I can’t let you in on because it’s, you wouldn’t approve?


Mickey Gordon  43:33

Yeah. You know, I had a conversation with one of my best vanilla friends from up there. And he and his wife has been extremely supportive of who we are for a long time they knew early on. But he did ask me once we were on a Jeep ride, he was one of my cheaper friends. And he said, Why didn’t you tell me about this earlier? He said he didn’t think that, you know, we’d be okay with it. We knew other people that were this way and you never said anything. And I said I never said anything, because there were so many people mocking them that I really just didn’t want to open the door. And he looked at me and said, well, you never heard me do it.


Mallory Gordon  44:09

It’s an excellent point. And I know it was right. He’s 100% right? But it does feel like Pandora’s box.


Mickey Gordon  44:15

Yeah, yeah. So it’s hard to have that trust and that’s why building those new friendships and in prioritizing those lifestyle friendships were really good idea for us, but it didn’t go so hot in first


Mallory Gordon  44:28

Yeah. So how did let me ask you this? How did it go? Well,


Mickey Gordon  44:31

we first went for 18 fucking


Mallory Gordon  44:35

I had a reputation around this neighborhood though. Do


Mickey Gordon  44:37

you did no question about it? Oh, that


Mallory Gordon  44:39

was fun.


Mickey Gordon  44:40

Well in because the show had started at that point. Yeah, and one of our neighbors does embroideries. So we we went


Mallory Gordon  44:48

we went okay, here it goes. Nothing. We’re rewriting our our narrative here or we’re gonna do this differently. And we told them


Mickey Gordon  44:57

yeah, and you know what, they were pretty cool about it. They


Mallory Gordon  45:00

They were actually cool. They had some questions. I think they still do they still owe us an episode.


Mickey Gordon  45:05

Yeah, we’re actually gonna do an episode with them just because it’ll be fun. But I think the funny part about it was, and we really cool you don’t judge but what we didn’t ask them is can you keep your mouth shut?


Mallory Gordon  45:16

So all the women in the neighborhood, I think,



yeah, she will.


Mickey Gordon  45:23

She’s coming for your man.


Mallory Gordon  45:24

That’s okay. I’ll wear that scarlet letter.


Mickey Gordon  45:26

I don’t know. There are a couple guys in the neighborhood that you’d come for. They’re one for 10 watts. Oh, my God.


Mallory Gordon  45:33

I know who you’re talking about. They live across the lake.


Mickey Gordon  45:35

Yeah, you got to think for firefighter. Hey, do I know you do? It’s okay.


Mallory Gordon  45:41

That’s my weakness. That’s my kryptonite.


Mickey Gordon  45:43

I will say that we explained ourselves more than we thought we’d have to, especially as we made new friends, right? Because we went out on sec, SLS Cassidy at the time Doubleday nation wasn’t a thing at the time. And we started the conversations like we’re looking for friendship outside the bedroom to you. We want to be able to party with you,


Mallory Gordon  45:59

right? I think we were a little excitable, because we’re very interested in this new


Mickey Gordon  46:03

venture. And my friend,


Mallory Gordon  46:04

you want to be my friend, here’s all about me. And we may have intimidated and scared a few people when I’m on guard. That’s from the birth crisis, isn’t it? What a treat, but there Yeah, that’s great. Good one.


Mickey Gordon  46:19

Yeah. Well, I think what we establish is we don’t have to fuck people to love hanging around. I mean, I think you guys know that. Obviously, the name is casual swinger. We’re casual for a reason. But I think we don’t fuck most of the lifestyle people we hang out with and it’s nothing against them. They’re all sexy shit. It just, it isn’t our priority, I think.


Mallory Gordon  46:39

No, I think for us and got maybe this may makes us terrible.


Mickey Gordon  46:44

swingers. You’re a horrible swinger.


Mallory Gordon  46:47

I’m a very good horror, though. Um, that sex isn’t the number one priority for us. And if if sex happens, I mean, it’s natural and organic. That’s great. And yet, we’re very sexual human beings. I mean, we could fuck twice a day, every day, and maybe not even each other. Like, that’s how you and I are present. But it doesn’t have to be part of the relationship with another couple.


Mickey Gordon  47:14

Yeah, that’s true. I mean, I know that we may be either confused or offended a couple of people. I remember, in Hedo. We brought down a bunch of T shirts, I don’t know, it’s like three or four years ago. And they said, keep it casual. And we were just trying to be cute, you know, kind of play off the casual name a little bit. And I remember this one lady comes up to me and goes, I don’t want that shirt. We’re not casual. We’re hardcore swingers, we want to fuck as much as possible. Okay. I was like, don’t wear my shirt. Like, stop, like, breathe in your breath. And my grill? Yeah, she was upset about it.


Mallory Gordon  47:50

Yeah, some people were very, very offended or maybe even off put by that. And you know what? fair? It’s not your bag. And that’s totally cool, man. I get it. You know, some some people are very polarizing and how they address the the lifestyle. Yeah, that’s even fucking okay. That’s totally fine. But I think it’s very confusing for some as well.


Mickey Gordon  48:10

Yeah. What I didn’t get is why does me wanting to be casual about it and wanting to be friends mean, I don’t want to fuck because that’s not true. Right? There’s plenty of people out there where I’m like, Look, I would absolutely love to share sexual experiences with you. But I also need a little more. And I want a little more. I want it to be fun and friendly. And I want to keep those friendships. Because I feel like for whatever reason, especially Hedo. They’re more visceral, they’re more real, they matter. And I think that’s really what started to bring our tribe together that we’ve really started to build down.


Mallory Gordon  48:43

Yeah. And, you know, to be brutally honest, when we first started down this road, you know, I’m walking around, like, you know, like, I’m blind. Right, and I’m trying to feel my way through the darkness and find the walls and the doors and the windows. And the window to the wall. From the window to the wall. Yes, sir.


Mickey Gordon  49:02

Here to help. Uh huh. Your all week, try the veal.


Mallory Gordon  49:06

Gosh, bath and old one. Okay, enough. Womp womp womp womp. Where’s your fucking button now, bitch. So anyway, like I was saying, I feel like that methodology we actually I tried early on like, okay, they’re interesting enough, I’m laughing and I find them attractive. And we went down there and the sex was good. It was good. But it wasn’t great. And the first time we had to do like a religious connection with someone when we had sex with him, I was like, Oh, dear god, that was fucking fireworks for me. Hey, you


Mickey Gordon  49:39

know what? It’s been a few episodes since we mentioned iOS speaking of.



So, boom,


Mallory Gordon  49:45

I think I think that’s one of the methodology really hit me that, you know, yeah, I could go out and have sex with somebody when they made themselves available and when we clicked well enough, but when we really fucking click and there’s that four way connection or that even more On one connection in a hot life situation, the sex is fucking amazing. And once you’ve had amazing, it’s really hard to go.


Mickey Gordon  50:08

You know what I could use in my life so mediocre?


Mallory Gordon  50:10

Yes, I really want that mediocre sex. And I feel so guilty saying that there’s a part of me going fuck that makes me sound like a pretentious little shit. But you know what? I’m not. I like the great sex I’d rather have great amazing firework sex a handful of times a year versus mediocre or Okay, sex every other weekend. Okay,


Mickey Gordon  50:37

so you’re saying your potential little shit, I got it.


Mallory Gordon  50:41

It’s my birthday month you can’t be mad at me.


Mickey Gordon  50:45

Well, so let me ask you this. Does this make our social life only lifestyle? Are we social snobs? does it stop us from making vanilla friends? In your opinion? And then I’ll give you mine?


Mallory Gordon  50:54

Um, no, absolutely not. I think you know, we’ve using the I keep saying methodology. I need another word because I tend to repeat the same fuckin one every episode. But


Mickey Gordon  51:07

this is our 71st


Mallory Gordon  51:08

I apply the same strategy to the vanilla people that we meet that I find a connection with. I just, you know, it’s kind of a screening process. I i I’m trying to be more like you honestly. I’m putting it out there. Oh, and making in if they really want to be my friend. they’ve accepted me. Yeah, they don’t make me feel guilty. And it’s not even acceptance or tolerance. They just go Okay, cool. That doesn’t fucking matter. I like who you are.


Mickey Gordon  51:35

Yeah. You know, I think in my case, it doesn’t stop us from making vanilla friends. I just don’t think we really I don’t know, we don’t prioritize spending time with him. Right? Because now there is a glaring exception. anything involving kids. So


Mallory Gordon  51:55



Mickey Gordon  51:56

so we get to our friend’s kids birthday party, Pool Party, whatever. Yeah, we’re not going to show up, you know, wearing g strings. And you know,


Mallory Gordon  52:04

now we do know how to raise something. Let’s let’s put that out there. We know how to act right. Given the circumstance. Exactly. We are we’re not. Yeah. So,


Mickey Gordon  52:15

you know, in those circumstances, sure. But generally speaking, you know, if somebody is like, Hey, we’re going on an eight person date night. Let’s all go out and dance naughty. Now. We’ll skip that.


Mallory Gordon  52:27

Yeah, yeah, we’ve had this conversation before cuz like a vanilla like, I’m gonna dance naughty. I look like I’m looking to pay my fucking rent tonight.


Mickey Gordon  52:38

I love how you dance.


Mallory Gordon  52:41

Oh, I’ve only the tips proved it. Oh, I


Mickey Gordon  52:44

think you’ve had plenty of tips. Just a tip. Right? Well, so do you think that this decision to prioritize lifestyle friendships, relationships, sex, positive friendships and relationships? Has this changed how we interact with the peripheral people in our lives? The other people that we deal with aren’t necessarily right. Yes,


Mallory Gordon  53:03

yes. Yes. And


Mickey Gordon  53:04

you talk about our doctor to squeeze your tits today?


Mallory Gordon  53:06

Yes. Yes, absolutely. Um, I think you probably


Mickey Gordon  53:10

talked about that. Yeah,


Mallory Gordon  53:11

I don’t think we should, because I want to get them in trouble. All right. Okay. Cuz I don’t know, they’re gonna tell.


Mickey Gordon  53:18

You had to doctor squeeze your tip.


Mallory Gordon  53:20

I actually did have two MDS. And one, you know, yeah, I two doctors squeeze my boobs today. And I had to make one of them hug it, like, feel it. It feels real. Like, I’m so impressed with the outcome. When the potential outcome I’m four weeks post op, and you keep asking me if I wish I’d done this sooner. And my answer is no, emotionally, I was prepared for it now. But I’m so happy I did this for myself. I’m not the kind of person that that takes that the time or the money to do things like this. But yes, I had to doctor squeeze my boobs today, and I’m very happy about it. What was your question again?


Mickey Gordon  54:01

Well, we’re gonna go the actual question because you know, you’re just talking to your titties. But when we talk about doctors in particular, did your sex positivity our lifestyle journey? Are Oh, being open with our friends and just living a more open life? Did it change how you talk to your doctors in general?


Mallory Gordon  54:17

Yes, yes, it does leave them a few of them kind of confused at times. And so I have switched doctors a couple times since we lived here. Because they they just can’t except to wrap their head around the non the ethical, consensual non monogamy life that we lead because it’s not something they may be even exposed to. And that’s fine. If


Mickey Gordon  54:37

you don’t get it, everything’s a key party. Right? Everybody’s drug you know, fuckin under an overpass.


Mallory Gordon  54:43

Right? And, you know, I need them to account for who I am and how I live my life. It’s no different. Being a you know, is if I, you know, I quit smoking, for example, to take that into account. right as you look at me as your patient and having an investment in my, my well being as a whole mentally, physically and emotionally. So, yeah, it definitely is change.


Mickey Gordon  55:12

I think, for me in particular, right, living that sex positive lifestyle living out in the open, being out in the open. I mean, I wear casuals when you’re in casual t shirts like all the time. Sure. And you know what, I think what it’s done for me in terms of dealing with doctors is I just don’t even think about being ashamed anymore. I don’t even think about hiding who I am. It just is.


Mallory Gordon  55:32

Yeah, and I friendships helped me do that. Yeah, well, and I also think in my head now it was required, especially in the small town we lived in before, I was super hesitant to the point that I went out of town, way out of my way to get my STI tests. Oh, yeah. We wanted to swing as far from the town we lived in as possible. hours and hours away. We drove literally a minimum of two, two and a half hours away. We’ve never touched within that circle. We never shot where we


Mickey Gordon  55:59

well. And then the one time we did like one of our kids friends found us and hidden.


Mallory Gordon  56:03

In my work, it’s another story anyway, but like even our accountant Odoo games, bankers. Yeah, we were because I mean, we are we’re business owners. Yeah. And it’s a sexually oriented business.


Mickey Gordon  56:14

Yeah. And he’s amazing. He doesn’t give a fuck none, zero fucks. To give. He asked me 100,000 questions every time we go in there, and all of them are positive and supportive


Mallory Gordon  56:23

yet and you know what? The fact that they just don’t have an opinion is fine with me too. Like


Mickey Gordon  56:27

he thinks it’s the coolest thing in the world. And you know what he says? He says the same thing. Every guy always says, My wife would never do that. But man I so would like every every video I ever talked to you if it’s female or male, it’s my significant other would never do that. But I


Mallory Gordon  56:41

think with the male ego, they feel like they compelled to say that. I don’t know whether they mean it or not.


Mickey Gordon  56:46

I don’t know. I mean, it is a mindfuck the first time you do it. So maybe


Mallory Gordon  56:49

now but what about what about our children and family?


Mickey Gordon  56:52

I Well, for me, certainly. I mean, I’ve always been pretty open. But and we’ve always been open with our kids and honest with our kids. We didn’t fight wave it in their face or anything. But you know, when they figured it out, they asked and we were honest. And they went excellent. We’re not going to ask about that anymore.


Mallory Gordon  57:08

except the one the one was like, let me bring you all my friends and you can do sex education. And we’re like, get no,


Mickey Gordon  57:13

yeah, that got old quick. Yeah, so my middle kid, which is the daughter, it’s the female, she absolutely sends her friends for sex advice, since her friends for sex toys. And what I told him is come back when you’re an adult, you know what, though? They’re adults. Now.


Mallory Gordon  57:26

She’s always been the most gregarious, but also the most obviously, maternal. And I kinda, at this point, looking back, I love that about her. Yeah.


Mickey Gordon  57:36

And you know what it is, though, and because before she knew this about us, and she also


Mallory Gordon  57:40

likes making people visibly and


Mickey Gordon  57:43

she gets on loves it. But what I can tell you about this is before we were open with our kids about this, she still sent her friends to me for help. Whenever maybe they didn’t have a good relationship with their parents, or maybe their dad wasn’t in the picture. And they needed dad advice. She would send her friends to me.


Mallory Gordon  58:00

You know, what I love about that statement is it shows me what a great dad you were to her. was my job. Yeah, well, I’m just saying


Mickey Gordon  58:09

why I was born to do I’m just


Mallory Gordon  58:10

saying she, she looks to you. And when I have one, that’s fucking awesome. I’m going to share him with the world. Except when I first came in the picture. She was like, No, bitch. Well, she wanted you to leave.


Mickey Gordon  58:22

She was not willing to share with you. All right, well, let’s kind of bring this thing to a head because we’re almost at the hour here, which is really our this thing fucking flew by? No, but what are we really trying to say?


Mallory Gordon  58:36

It sounds like you’re trying to say you’re better than everybody else. Oh, eat my ass. That’s


Mickey Gordon  58:39

definitely not what I’m trying to say,


Mallory Gordon  58:40

Oh, I’m your wife. I will absolutely do that. Be careful. What you ask for.


Mickey Gordon  58:44

Please. Get some now I think we’re trying to say is that, you know, when we came to Florida, and started making new friendships, we decided that our lifestyle is the lifestyle. And I’m gonna say that, again. Our lifestyle is the lifestyle. That means our closest friends oftentimes share this aspect of their lives with us, but at a bare minimum. They’re comfortable with it and how we live our lives. And they never make us feel like we have to apologize for who we are.


Mallory Gordon  59:11

You know what, and that’s actually no apologies, period, right? That’s a statement we made. When we moved down here. We don’t want to feel like we need to apologize for who we are. We tried to be good people. And if we crossed the line we ever offend anybody, you know, I accidentally make it off color joke that I 100% all apologize for. That’s not what we mean right here. I don’t want to apologize for having the lifestyle be part of who I am. I don’t want that to tell someone to have permission to judge me as a parent or as a wife, or as a sister or as a daughter because of it or is an employee.


Mickey Gordon  59:52

And for us, honestly, it’s not about sex. We’ve grown to a point where we choose not to live our lives, and the presence of intolerance or judgment, or the ridicule of others, whether it be racism, sexism, politics, religion, or any judgment of other sexual preferences, we just walk the other way. There’s no sense in trying to change people at this stage in their lives. Just move the fuck on.


Mallory Gordon  1:00:18

Yeah, I think we live by the process of elimination or admission.


Mickey Gordon  1:00:25

No reason to be negative, no reason to talk shit. Just walk away now. And we were able to choose our tribe and our friends, because they were so overwhelmingly positive. And every time we meet a new one, I think we feel the same way. We feel like we discovered fire. We’re like, yes, another great couple. And there’s just another member. And when we think about we, I love that now when we meet great couples, we can’t wait to introduce them to everyone else in the tribe.


Mallory Gordon  1:00:49

Yes. And we’re looking at you introverts.


Mickey Gordon  1:00:52

Yeah, we see you bitches. But yes, you’re


Mallory Gordon  1:00:55

absolutely right.


Mickey Gordon  1:00:56

I think we simply choose sex positive lifestyle friendly folks to make them a part of our inner circle. And it’s good. It’s wonderful. And that’s how you get a friend like me. I don’t know if you want a friendly me though.


Mallory Gordon  1:01:13

I yeah, I take two of you at the same time as possible.


Mickey Gordon  1:01:17

very affectionate. Yeah.


Mallory Gordon  1:01:19

I do need to be a fractionated.


Mickey Gordon  1:01:21

Yeah, setup word. No, it is now just fractionated. You make up a lot of words on this show. But I think people enjoy him. Okay. Anyway. Well, look, folks, we’re not preaching. We’re just kind of talking about how we did friendships, we moved on here to Florida. And I think a lot of people worry about that and their whole lives. And again, if you don’t, you know, if you didn’t move and leave everything behind from the place, you learn how to walk, then it’s gonna be a little harder than what we went through. But I think it is worthwhile to build that side of your lives and prepare either to talk to the people that you know, or to move on just for your own personal health. We enjoy it. I love having lifestyle friends.


Mallory Gordon  1:01:57

Yeah, maybe and to each their own, and no guilt, no shame assigned to anyone who doesn’t feel that way. And you know if I can blame Jane Angie for this episode, because we’re so in the beginning, you remember what you were just like, Oh, we love you so much. And I think it made us really analyze why we value those relationships.


Mickey Gordon  1:02:15

I think it’s exactly right. Going to see Janie Angie and Austin is what gave us the impetus for this episode. So


Mallory Gordon  1:02:19

if you hated this episode, please write them. Jay. Yeah. Jay Jay, G.


Mickey Gordon  1:02:25

Her birthday. You can’t blame her. It’s a shame. It’s all his fault. No, seriously, it? You know, there’s actually before we close this thing out, which we’re going to do here in about two seconds. There’s one last rule I want to leave you guys with. We’ve talked about this before on the show, and it’s very important and it is a rule for a reason in the lifestyle. 100%


Mallory Gordon  1:02:43

don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things wrong roll. Oh, that’s church grayling. Okay, gotta


Mickey Gordon  1:02:48

  1. Jesus Christ. What are you to do with you? Alright, the rule is very simple. Make swingers your friends. Never make your friends swingers.



Dun dun dun.


Mickey Gordon  1:03:00

It is a rule. It is a casual swinger commandment. And the reason it’s a commandment is when it works out. It works out unbelievably well. But the 99 times out of 100 that it goes badly. It is devastating. Yes. If that vanilla relationship matters to you keep it vanilla. Because it’s very difficult. You can’t be somebody’s Sherpa and their play partner at the same time you can’t bring so that’s a


Mallory Gordon  1:03:26

big commandment with us. Yes.


Mickey Gordon  1:03:29

Yeah, you’re one of the other


Mallory Gordon  1:03:30

pick one.


Mickey Gordon  1:03:31

Because if you’re trying to be both, then when things go wrong. Who do they blame the person that gave them the advice in the first place. And that’s a great way to lose a lifelong friend that you’ve known since you learn how to walk. You don’t want to do that. Ask me how I know sometime over a drink. I’ll tell you. I made the mistake in my youth. And I miss that person very much to this day. We will take that sour, sad little note and walk the fuck off. Mallory, you want to tell people how to find us?


Mallory Gordon  1:03:58

Yeah. So we are casuals. We were everywhere. You can find us a casual summer calm. Feel free to shoot us a message at podcast that casual sweater. Look at us find us on social media. We’re on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and Instagram. And you can also find us in the Dean’s nation Cassidy is listed.


Mickey Gordon  1:04:18

There you go. Folks, this has been a friend like me. We’ll catch you here in a couple of weeks back on another episode.