SE01E17 – Casual Swinger – Climate Swing
Thu, 9/2 9:57AM • 1:04:11
rascals, people, sheila, mallory, swinger, fucking, sex, hito, liberator, turns, trip, absolutely, called, wedge, iowa, hear, casual, talk, walked, picture
Mickey Gordon, Mallory Gordon
Mallory Gordon 00:09
Welcome to casual swinger. If you’re under 18, the following podcast is not appropriate for you. The subjects and language are for mature audiences only. If you’re not mature in nature, just make sure you’re old enough to vote. We don’t take ourselves seriously ever. No guarantees given regarding the accuracy of any opinions or statements made on this podcast or website or a blog. It’s all in fun, folks. This isn’t Dr. Phil. Now consider yourself the listener properly advised. Welcome back to casual swinger, Mallory and Mickey. And we’re back. We’re back from Jamaica. We’re back from Iowa.
Mickey Gordon 00:53
Oh my god. Cold.
Mallory Gordon 00:56
Yeah. What a swing in temperature.
Mickey Gordon 00:58
Yeah. So this this episode is called climate swing. Which is pretty much what we endured, right? Going from Hito to Iowa. But it was same fucking group of people
Mallory Gordon 01:09
with the same group of people was literally like what it is 75 degrees swing between the beautiful tropical weather down there, which isn’t that different than where we live, but, and then heading to the middle of nowhere, Iowa.
Mickey Gordon 01:20
Yeah, it really was insane. So we’re going to talk a little bit for you guys today. You know, we said we’re gonna do a recap of overheated trip. But we’ve talked about keto so much lately. And we had such a great weekend. At this wedding in Iowa, we’re gonna make the Hito piece really short.
Mallory Gordon 01:34
Yeah, we don’t want to burn you guys out. Thank you so much. Listen to listening to the three special episodes we did, by the
Mickey Gordon 01:40
way. So the living history of hedonism, too, was a hit.
Mallory Gordon 01:42
Yeah, we got so much great feedback,
Mickey Gordon 01:45
right? I mean, Pete, and it’s kind of funny, because we interviewed a bunch of old guys is what it boils down to. And so any of our guys by the Howard, john Harris established man, we’re fucking with established Absolutely. But you know, these guys, well established gentlemen of stature. But we interviewed these guys and talked about kind of how he got bought, and what changed. Because, you know, if you haven’t been Hito, in the last couple years, you really don’t get a good feel for what it became. And I think that really kind of encompass what it was and what was happening and how that acquisition happened. And that’s really what we wanted to focus on. And we got in with Harry and we talked about the employees and how they were the really the biggest key in the turnaround in the acquisition, which I thought was the coolest thing.
Mallory Gordon 02:28
Oh, absolutely. You know, the paid, you know, pension and adding 170 employees like it was it was mind blowing.
Mickey Gordon 02:35
Yeah. And a big response I got we got a huge response to the Harry episode, especially like, first of all, the CEO of hedonism resorts. The X principle for the Magellan fund is on your little podcast. Yeah. Really? Yeah.
Mallory Gordon 02:48
We’re where we feel very blessed. very fortunate. So
Mickey Gordon 02:51
I don’t know if you know who I am. But I’m kind of a big deal around here. Sorry. It’s my Ron Burgundy impression. Excellent. You must not know who I think I am. Stay casual San Diego. I just got back right. Yeah, I was in California. And then I came back and we are all over the fucking country. And you’re going to the Mountain State here. Which Mountain State but you’re gonna be in.
Mallory Gordon 03:15
I will say pathlegal. There.
Mickey Gordon 03:17
Yeah. Right. Bring me some edibles with you. So we’re gonna talk a little bit about Hito. We’re gonna recap our first ever rascal trip in February. We’re going to talk about Iowa. We’re gonna have a toy box, a very special toy box for a new friend of ours that we met at a company called Liberator. Oh,
Mallory Gordon 03:34
yeah. And if you guys don’t know who Libertad Liberator is, you definitely need to so we’ll get into that the end of the show. So let’s start with the first February rascal trip ever. Well, right.
Mickey Gordon 03:45
So we ran a game Hito right. So talk about that start with the game for the week is the game that we always play something called what’s under my hat? Yeah, right. So anybody that doesn’t know we I always wear hats down there. Big Top Hats. Crazy hats, weird hats. I had a minion hat. And every day I get painted by Jeff James. You guys know who Jeff is? Right? WWE je de what would Jeff do? But I get painted by Jeff and wear these hats and I put something crazy under the hat. Sometimes it matches the theme for the day or
Mallory Gordon 04:12
does and the guesses are really the highlight of that game for me. Because who was it beachy? Oh, that was like, Is it a deck? Is it a vagina?
Mickey Gordon 04:21
I love how she said it there so beaches and etc. And she comes running up and she gets her fists that she pumps some juice isn’t a dick. She was so cute. I was like, I don’t have dicks on my head. I’m just saying she was just so cool to see even the ECS get on it. But we had a couple of winners on Twitter. We’re gonna announce them right here. How about Ben from our naughty escapade? Whoo, that’s one of our podcasting friends. So yeah, one and daylight and dark on Twitter also one those are just some of the online people that one because we played that game online we played it on the resort and not to mention on Valentine’s we gave away a crave Vesper red shipping out this week to Yes girl named Yulia.
Mallory Gordon 05:01
Congrats, everyone, and thanks for playing along with us. That was a lot of fun for us.
Mickey Gordon 05:05
Yeah, it was. So we got some prizes going out for those folks. But you know, that’s the first and most important thing we want to cover from he knows we had some winners. And those are some of our winners. Thanks for playing our games we love when people play with us. It’s kind of a swinger thing.
Yeah, yeah. So what happened is,
Mallory Gordon 05:22
much so much happened. Um, I love bringing back one liners from Hito when we’re there because it never fails. Like, you always have a handful that just like stick with you. Like the last trip that we recapped it was get your finger out of my ass that
Mickey Gordon 05:38
actually that was said. Nobody said anything about putting their finger in your ass.
Mallory Gordon 05:43
But someone does not want to funny husband.
Mickey Gordon 05:45
No, oh, that was hilarious. We’re walking back to the room. We’re walking up to it. And you know, you’re kind of tired. And he has this kind of rhythm to it when you’re down there. Every day feels kind of like Groundhog Day with a twist. And we’re walking back to the room. And we hear some poor old guy go. Really? You’re leaving a very funny husband behind. And this angry old woman goes, What if? Funny husband?
Mallory Gordon 06:08
Oh my god. It was awesome. Maybe we were a little drunk. And maybe it was one of those instances that you had to be there and actually hear it but I literally fell over laughing
Mickey Gordon 06:16
right there on the pavement. Right. And I mean, how about why does the piano bar smelly cabbage cabbages
Mallory Gordon 06:21
Oh, man. Okay, so without being too descriptive. There was an instant. I was not involved personally. Thank God. Yeah, I got this second hand. See what I did there. Second. We had some rascals on the piano with a nother person. And unfortunately the Jamaican heat can be a little on kind of folks. And it is very important to have good hygiene. While you’re down there. And as a first timer, it may have been overlooked and whoever this person was traveling with did not clue them into the ripeness or how fragrant
Mickey Gordon 07:00
their undercarriage efika Ladies and gentlemen, we have funky pussy Oh man. Oh, funky pussy. Funky pussy to the stage, please.
Mallory Gordon 07:08
So our fellow rascals are on the on the piano. And it’s a butthead kind of scenario. And so you’re, you’re right there, you know, you’re very, very close to the action. So it’s already as you know, one of them kindly put it fragrant. And as they’re doing the leg movements for the wife See? This. The person in the middle decided they needed to relieve themselves and silently but deadly passed gas.
Mickey Gordon 07:35
That’s right. She fart on the piano folks and the
Mallory Gordon 07:40
top of the funk then the cabbage smells, so I’m not sure if they were serving brussel sprouts that day. But I loved it. The first concern that one of our rascals had was of the piano player who is at point blank.
Mickey Gordon 07:53
He took one right to the face. That poor bastard was dying. I you know, things like that. I think follies happen fall. Yeah. But if you’ve got if you are the party, right? If you’re gonna rip a fart on a piano, maybe you should be the person that didn’t have fun. Oh, but Oh, it’s absolutely awesome. I feel bad for that girl. I feel worse for the piano player. I feel bad for girls. Yeah, there’s one thing I didn’t put in our synopsis here. And that is probably worth throwing in the towel. I know you’re gonna talk about you know, let’s come as a naughty girl. You were a naughty girl. You jumped in with a while at least part of the triad.
Mallory Gordon 08:37
Yeah, yeah. So I couple of firsts for me, right? Yeah, I’m apparently going to be fucking around the world this year.
Mickey Gordon 08:47
Hacking your way around around the planet.
Mallory Gordon 08:49
Like it was really like a trifecta. Like I’d never been with a guy who’s Pierce down there. So that was that was neat. netizen usual as I would have anticipated it being No, it’s a lot of fun. Totally have a thing for firefighters and like public service entry because back that one again, no Canadian firefighter with a pure stick like
Mickey Gordon 09:08
Yeah, well and let’s I mean, so we’ll just put this out there. So the dude is cool is How’s his girl they’re also they were there were a lot of fun hanging out with we got along great, pretty smart guy in MMA. So we had a lot to talk about, which was cool to have somebody that knows a lot about MMA to talk with. Yeah, but you know, the the fun part was every girl in the resort was all over this guy’s dick chasing him ever because
Mallory Gordon 09:32
very good looking. But what I loved about him is how kind and how sweet and intelligent he was. I’m assuming squishy Oh, well that it brings it brings that natural like attraction, up a few notches. And just over the fact this
Mickey Gordon 09:46
dude look like he was cut out of a piece of granite. And he’d actually picked Rachel and Mallory up one in each hand and held them out from his body, like serving trays. And they were like freakishly strong. All right. So anyway, the girls are chasing him. Everybody’s chasing him. All the hot girls are chasing him and who did he want? Who did he come chase down? He chase down Mallory.
Mallory Gordon 10:10
And that’s kind of cute. Right? I just went out of my way to make sure I introduce myself. You know it we don’t, we don’t actually see a lot of triads. We don’t on the resort. So,
Mickey Gordon 10:21
you know, we’re casuals, we’re here. We don’t play very often. Now. We definitely don’t party with anybody. We play very selectively. And these guys were super cool. They were a lot of fun. He made you feel comfortable. And so you disappeared and I’m standing down there on the beach hanging out and then someone’s like, Where’s Mallory? I’m like, you weren’t that you don’t know.
Yeah, yeah, it wasn’t. It wasn’t as conspicuous as I thought it would be. But hey, you know, like we It’s a secret. I know. It’s not a secret. We like to get down on occasion. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 10:49
we had a casual swinger flag hanging in our window. Everybody knew exactly where we were. Yeah.
Mallory Gordon 10:53
It says a good time they like and they’re great people. And those girls are amazing. They are and
Mickey Gordon 10:57
now we’re you know, we get to be friends with these guys on Facebook, which I’m really excited about because they live in the fucking Arctic right now. Where we just went for this wedding there in the Arctic. Yeah, it’s been cool. Yeah, they live. So I don’t know how things catch fire when it’s that cold. Is that even possible? I don’t know. Maybe he’s not a busy firefighter. So he doesn’t
Mallory Gordon 11:15
look at it science.
Mickey Gordon 11:16
Field science. Things burn when they’re cold, like Yes, they do. But now these guys are super cool. And you know something else that happened there this week. Besides you being a filthy bad girl.
Mallory Gordon 11:27
You loved every second of it, and you’re
Mickey Gordon 11:28
so bad. But we met listeners.
Mallory Gordon 11:33
Oh my god. Let me just say that I was a total dork because I didn’t know how to react. I was so flattered and overwhelmed. Because it happened. You know so quickly to happen a few times. It did happen all week long. And I just didn’t anticipate it. So if I was if you’re listening now we met you in Hito. If I was a total dunce or dork about it, I apologize. I was just so taken aback. Right. Well, socially awkward. We
Mickey Gordon 11:58
don’t you know, we do this thing for you guys. Because it’s fun for us. It gives us something to do together. But it also gives us a chance to share the best parts of the lifestyle with each other in with you. And it’s not because we take ourselves seriously, if you listen to our show more than once, you know, we do not take ourselves fucking seriously by any means. Now, when I’m standing here at the glow table, this is the first time it happens. I’m standing at the glow at the table for glow night and we’re giving out all kinds of glow shit to people. And this fella walks up and he I’m wearing a casual swinger shirt. One of the shirts that we saw on the website, I think this is the my wife or no, I’m not a lesbian, but my wife is
Mallory Gordon 12:33
Mickey Gordon 12:34
And so he’s like, Oh my god, I love that show. Where’d you get the shirt? And I was like, well, it’s kind of my show. And he’s like, holy shit. You’re casual swinger. You’re Mickey, you’re on easily. And it turns out this guy’s name is Ben. He’s cool as fuck. He’s from Qatar.
Mallory Gordon 12:48
I have, like, what?
Mickey Gordon 12:50
Yeah, my first listener interaction with anybody in real life then ran into us knew we were is from Qatar.
Mallory Gordon 12:57
Yeah, that was insane. And his reaction like, I wasn’t privy to the beginning of that conversation. So when I walked over, and the look of surprise on his face, I was like, did we do like, did? What happened?
Mickey Gordon 13:07
Yeah, not all of it turns out he runs a Discord server for people that are like hot wife and cock. Yeah, these guys all like the show. So cute. It’s so sweet. It was so cool. And he was so friendly. So we’ve hooked up and had a few emails since then. Just a great guy loved hanging out and talking to him. And he kind of made our day right first listener action ever
Mallory Gordon 13:28
completely. I literally I was blown away. And when I’m overcome with emotion like that. Like I said, I get a little socially awkward. So I think I think Tim like 1000 times I kept hugging him. He didn’t mind.
Mickey Gordon 13:43
So you were dressed up for glue night? It was hot.
Mallory Gordon 13:46
Oh, yeah. I had those aura heels on
Mickey Gordon 13:48
glory heels. So we had she had heels on from a company named aura heels and aura heels are LED and they glow. And she has a special coded set. Yeah, and just love those. But I just think they’re super cool. It’s a shame that they don’t make those anymore. But yeah, yeah. Anyway. So we met a another set of listeners. Before we left is the last day Pool Party. I’m up on the side. I’m MC Oh
Mallory Gordon 14:14
my God, let me just stop and say how freaking gorgeous. Were those guys? Oh, they were like stunning. Like, stop you in your tracks. Beautiful.
Mickey Gordon 14:25
What I actually noticed them when they got in the pool because they got in about halfway through a pool party. And I’m like, hello. Right?
Mallory Gordon 14:30
Well, at that point in the game, like we’re on day six, and you’re going to notice new people, all the resorts. And then I mean, we’re just bowled over.
Mickey Gordon 14:39
Yeah, well, and then so we have kind of a break, right? So it’s between games. I’m not talking for a minute. I’m kind of catching my breath. I kind of walking left to right and watching the pool and looking for fun shit to talk about. Because that’s what you do when you MC right? You’re constantly scanning the crowd for something to point out to the crowd. And, you know, they kind of wave at me and I go over and I’m like, Hey guys, you haven’t And they’re like, you’re Mickey, aren’t you? I was like she’s hot. You dance good. Yeah, it’s like and it’s it only. Oh man. Yeah, absolutely. I am. It’s nice to be sitting there like yeah, we’re listeners and we listened to all your episodes on keto before we came. And we knew we were going to overlap with you guys by a day so we want to make sure we said hi. About awesome that validated every single minute we’ve spent doing this show
Mallory Gordon 15:29
and that was a rough day. That was the day that I felt the worst. Yeah, so it to have that kind of silver lining and then obviously they’re they’re gorgeous but they were so beautiful on the inside. You could see they were excited to be there. They were kind people they were trying to maximize the time with you know each other and they were they were taking every minute in and so they have that glow about them and I’m excited. I hope they message us and let us know how the rest of their trip I really
Mickey Gordon 15:59
hope they do guys if you listen to this show, please do message us and let us know how it went. You can hit us at podcast at casual swinger Comm. You can message Mallory at Mallory at casual stringer calm or me Mickey at casual swinger Comm. Let us know how that went for you. Because, you know, I think my my favorite interaction with them was that night we ran into them up top, there was the dance party going on the courtyard. Yeah. And they were just telling us how their first evening and Hito went because they were brand new newbies to Hito.
Mallory Gordon 16:26
Because they went on a day pass or something previously.
Mickey Gordon 16:28
And she says, you know, this is such an intense and wonderful experience. It’s so cool. And she was I don’t even want to play with anybody else. Right now. I just want to touch my husband and be all over my head girl. And it was Yeah, that is so fucking perfect. Because you know, he does not about swinging as much as it is about discovering your best you whatever. Yeah, you’re talking about living your best life and all that bullshit on social media these days. That’s how you do it. She got there. And she’s like, God, I just I just can’t wait to be with him. And I can’t wait to touch him. And this is such an intensely erotic experience for us on every level. And I’m like, Fuck, yeah, right. Absolutely grabbed it. I was like, God, I wish I would record it that I really wish that
Mallory Gordon 17:11
she really put up beautifully eloquently. And she meant it with every fiber of her being it was just oozing out of her. And he’s like, I’m gonna have a fucking awesome.
Mickey Gordon 17:22
And you know, it’s crazy, cuz we talk about, you know, this show that we do. We talk about, you know, recaps and talking about keto. And in the course of three days, we met three different listeners to butcher a couple and one was a single guy from Qatar. And they really, really made the trip. Awesome for us. And it would have been awesome anyway, because we have such good time with our rascals.
Mallory Gordon 17:40
Leto, we are so lucky to have a tribe. Yeah. And we’re gonna be a theme, right? Yes.
Mickey Gordon 17:46
This is the theme for this episode. So we’re gonna talk about that tribe in a minute. But just one more before more talk about you know, we’re talking about Hito. Let’s talk about the games we played. Amazing. So we invent our own games. Yes. And everything we play is a twist on something else, or we don’t really copy anything from anybody. So we played a bunch of games this week. We’re talking about a couple of them real quick. One of them is called booty licious.
Mallory Gordon 18:10
Oh, that was adorable. That was adorable. And the premise of this game is basically to find your partner only being able to identify them by their rear end. Well, of course, you’re blindfolded. Everyone gets mixed up in between partners. And I was so shocked that the first two rounds. Most people got their partner. They how impressive was that? Why? Because
Mickey Gordon 18:31
there was the women judging the men and you guys are smarter than we are. You’re more you’re just kind of more observant than we are. So these we put blindfolds on these people that we put big, gigantic googly eyes on. So from the pools perspective, it was a riot. Right? They were just like big googly eyed, dumb asses grabbing butts. Yeah. And they thought that was fine. And the women did a great job. I mean, we had like four women in the finals right out of the gate. Yeah, yeah. And then there when the guys came up, and then a couple of people, myself might have been one of them. Crazy. Ken was one of them.
Mallory Gordon 18:59
I sit up there and use this. We got a booth that was one of my favorites when she was looking for the penis. So eventually, we turned them around. They had to identify them by their decks, and we put oven mitts on them to make it even harder. Penis shaped. Oh, yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And they had like flying ducks on them. They were totally cute. averments googly eye blot blindfolds,
Mickey Gordon 19:19
and trying to identify them by their Well,
Mallory Gordon 19:22
yeah. Yeah, that was a little impromptu. But we really had to narrow down because we had so many winners the first round, and I lean into it, and she’s like, oh my god. It’s not there. Where did it go? How about Don’t you think is snorted in her ear?
Mickey Gordon 19:37
I stood up in that line when the guys were going down and the guys grabbing my ass. I’m like, Dude, what is your problem? And the pool just died. It was awesome cuz he thought he was grabbing chicks and turns out Yeah.
Mallory Gordon 19:48
And then we played what was the one slick trick that we did on the beach? Oh, yeah, that’s where
Mickey Gordon 19:51
we took double headed dildos. And we greased everybody up like big time four bottles of baby oil all over everybody. Greece that
Mallory Gordon 19:58
literally Greece, people had to tow And then
Mickey Gordon 20:00
right flickered snot on a doorknob. They were grease pigs, and then we handed them these doubleheader dildos and had him play hot potato wouldn’t let him use their hands.
Mallory Gordon 20:08
Yes. And those sons of bitches got creative really did. I mean, I’m pretty sure it accidentally ended up in the
Mickey Gordon 20:15
chair and she put in her ass. They weren’t saying work to get it. Wow. All right, she walked around with it sticking out of her button for
Mallory Gordon 20:22
I don’t know about all that. But I mean, they were getting down on all fours. I mean, they weren’t afraid of anything, right. And it was hilarious like to see these people try to pass them and like they’d end up with two at a time. I have to pass them both.
Mickey Gordon 20:35
And crazy. We had a bunch of other games, but the other one that’s one of our favorites is Guitar Hero.
Mallory Gordon 20:39
Oh, yeah. Well, it apples to apples is great. That’s booty shaking contest, which is the guy the guy that won was like seven feet tall. And I mean, he had them spinning like propellers.
Mickey Gordon 20:50
Oh, yeah, it was just yeah, absolutely crazy. And, you know, Guitar Hero for me, is one of the highlights of the trip when it was the second time we played it in Guitar Hero. I mean, we get these guys up there we dress them like complete assholes. And then we have we give them rock’n’roll names. Right. So we had what was it pink thunder and Axel hammer and n squared and Steve and I love
Mallory Gordon 21:15
whoever ends up wearing it’s like the Groucho Marx glasses, but instead of the big nose, it has a penis. Oh, God, whoever ends up with that one always at the bean Squidward Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 21:24
we’ve had squid words in every round and these guys just absolutely killed it because they thought they were gonna play air guitar. That’s how we got them up there. Everybody’s gonna play air guitar. Except then we had them play their Cox. Yeah. The greatest performance I’ve ever seen. At Guitar Hero was probably Jay from average swingers. Oh, man, that was one of the Greatest Guitar Hero performances ever.
Mallory Gordon 21:46
Mickey Gordon 21:47
So he did a great job. Jay, we miss you. And we thought that was a lot of fun. So yeah, made us think of you, you know, wrapping this segment up a little bit. Some of the best things about Hito that are not the group you travel with. Because we’ve heard a lot of people’s reviews on keto. And they talk about how the people are the best part. That’s true. Absolutely true. That it depends on what group you go with. That can be true. But what are some of the best things that aren’t? Your group that people you already know? Is it a click? You know, is he really a click? No, not at all. It’s
Mallory Gordon 22:15
no, no, no, I think it’s the friendliest environment ever. And I don’t think anytime we’ve ever gone even before we met the rascals, do we not have the ability to introduce ourselves to other people and make new friends because everyone seems to be open to that idea.
Mickey Gordon 22:28
Yeah. If you guys didn’t listen to the last episode with Harry, you wouldn’t know that hedonism is the only resort on the island that is staffed entirely by Jamaicans, yeah, no expats whatsoever. And those employees are the best part of that resort. And they’re enabled by Harry. They’re enabled in every single way. And the service that they give the drinks on the beach, the the sprint is remembering your name remembering your drink. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 22:50
absolutely. And I you know, what I really love is that they made it a very, they keep increasing the sexiness. Yeah, right. swingers are welcome. But everyone is welcome. You know, it’s just a very sex positive and sexually freeing environment. So
Mickey Gordon 23:06
I think they’re doing a better job of making it sexy of exactly. sex. Exactly. You know, like they’re making some very sensual experiences like that play room with the open air to the stars and the Porsche core to encourage people not to talk in the play room if you’re in the play room, either for a reason, so don’t come in there and hang out with your friends and Yuk it up. Come in there and fuck it up. Yeah. And you know, I think the last thing for me anyway is new grill, cosina grill and the grills awesome and stop at Ivan’s catch a falling star and go see our favorite waitress we want Francine is your favorite waitress. Her name is Francine this lady works every day to take care of her son. She’s a single mom. So we’re going to school? Yes, we’ve known her
Mallory Gordon 23:47
Yeah, we were there for this trip. And she hadn’t had a day off since before Christmas. Yeah, she literally was working every day. And she was getting her day off that week and was gonna go spend time with the beach with her son. Well, the
Mickey Gordon 23:59
best part is she knew we were coming. Yes. She had heard we were coming. And she got so excited. And she said, I heard you were coming. And I planned today at the beach with my son because I knew I’d be able to afford to go because you guys always take good care of me.
Mallory Gordon 24:11
Oh, absolutely. But she also cleared the tables around us. Yeah, definitely. So we didn’t bother any of the clientele because that group can get a little rowdy.
Mickey Gordon 24:19
That’s gonna be a theme here in a minute. Right? Yeah, talking about this wedding. We went to this weekend because we when we show up at a restaurant, they usually don’t see anybody anywhere near us. Yeah. And not just me and Mallory, right. We’re talking about our group. Right the rascals and that’s kind of a lot of these people were the same minus our friends from North Carolina. Yes, I’ll make this this trip. But so hey, definitely go to Ivan see Francine don’t go to KFC on a Friday in the grill.
Mallory Gordon 24:46
Now apparently not. Now. Apparently the line is all the way down around the corner down the street. It’s like the most popular restaurant there.
Mickey Gordon 24:56
But hey, we’re gonna call that the end of the he could be a bit Today we’re gonna cover the heated recap. Go ahead store for me.
Mallory Gordon 25:08
I don’t know how that’s translating over the mics, but your face was priceless. Yeah, it’s like rubber. Yeah.
Mickey Gordon 25:19
We’re gonna wrap this up, but you don’t want to travel with us. Oh, yes,
Mallory Gordon 25:21
travel with us. That’s exactly where I was going to it. So if you guys would like to travel this, please make sure you click the travel with this link on casual sweater calm to get more information about the November trip. We do have a rascals going in May. But we are not attending until November with Ninh and all the other travels we have booked. That is our next trip to Jamaica is November and it gives us plenty of time this year because we don’t come back right before Thanksgiving. So it’s actually the week before that. So it’s absolutely perfect. Yeah, and the weather’s amazing.
Mickey Gordon 25:52
And I think we already have 100 people going with us that trip. So this is already looking to be one of the biggest rascal trips ever. So you want to get in on that. Do it soon.
Mallory Gordon 26:02
Yeah, so Raise your hand if you want 100 new best friends
Mickey Gordon 26:06
and bring them make them sexy. Let’s make them sexy. Make everything sexy, guys. We’ll be right back. We’re gonna talk about our trip to Iowa. And in what the hell happened and what made this such a climate swing? You’ve been listening to casual swinger. Welcome back, everybody to casual swinger. This is Mickey. I think
Mallory Gordon 26:37
I’m glad you remembered your name. And this is Mallory. Hey, real quick. You guys want to find us? You can hit us up on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, because they kicked us up. Did I say Instagram? You did? Okay. Then we have sec, SLS and Cassidy got.com. And you want to send us your feedback questions. Hit us up podcast at casual swinger. And if you’re feeling super generous, make sure you give us a rating on iTunes. Yes,
Mickey Gordon 27:06
please. Do we love your reviews. I think they’re good for us. I don’t know why I’m not good enough to know that yet. But
Mallory Gordon 27:11
yeah, I’m not sure what the whole algorithm thing is. But I will say when I get to read them, it makes my day. And I always seem to find them when I’m having a rough like vanilla workday. So
Mickey Gordon 27:22
well it So Facebook kicked us off and Instagram, deleted one of our posts and said that if they delete another one, they’re going to kick us off. So and the funny part is, and we’ll get into this in a future episode, I think but, you know, the posts that they’re mad about, don’t show anything.
Mallory Gordon 27:37
It’s hilarious. And like it could be a difference between the color like you posted a red background of me and the frosted glass. Yeah. And that one got flagged but the black and white window.
Mickey Gordon 27:46
Yeah, the same picture of black and white guy and nothing
Mallory Gordon 27:48
and I’m still upset like I could, like, totally go down a spiral with regarding male nipple versus female nipple. Like I’m over that.
Mickey Gordon 27:57
What a bunch of bullshit. So the picture of Bert kreischer, where that I actually removed you guys’s nipple? Yes. So we’re going to talk about this in another episode. We’re not going to go too deep into that. I’ll just say Facebook kicked us off. So we’re not there anymore. They unpublish our page. They said that we publish pornography. And, and then when I contacted him about it, they took issue with that our name has swinger in it. And then he took issue with my what’s under my hat. Yes, we’re running an illegal sweepstakes. I’m like we’re giving away fucking t shirts. Yeah, Jesus. Yeah. So anyway, that happened. Let’s talk about Iowa because that’s actually fun.
Mallory Gordon 28:33
Okay, so it’s amazing that we had 12 people converge on a small town in Iowa for a weekend to support two of our fellow rascals who we love and adore. And like this. This crosses United States border people were coming in. Well, they came from like Blackfoot, Canada like way. Yeah. I mean, like the Arctic were childhood Florida, South Florida counties. West, the East Coast. Yeah, they came from Mid Atlantic, California, California, literally all over the place. So
Mickey Gordon 29:03
here’s what happened. Yeah, we’re on the beach one day, and Jim comes running up to me, he’s like, Yo, I need you to hold this and he puts a ring in my hand. I’m like, I’m not marrying you. I don’t I don’t like you that much. And he’s like, it’s not mine. So hold on to it. So it turns out that our friends lnc had been dating for a while he’s gonna propose, and we’re like, okay, so I was gonna do this right, right now we’re like, yeah, that’s gonna happen right now. So I end up standing like right in the middle of this conversation where he starts breaking it down to her and it hits her what’s happening and she just starts losing her shit. He drops down on one knee. And I’m like, I’m holding a ring because obviously I didn’t have pockets.
Mallory Gordon 29:41
Now because we’re all naked. naked. So it was great. I love the fake engagement.
Mickey Gordon 29:48
Engagement photos are actually taken at sandals which they had to reenact the whole thing she had to look let me do her best Meryl Streep like You can’t be serious dude. She
Mallory Gordon 29:57
deserved an Academy Award. They look real.
Mickey Gordon 29:59
Oh, she totally did. It. Yeah, so that happened. So anyway, these fuckers decide that they’re gonna get married in winter in Iowa. I don’t know why they couldn’t just get married in Jamaica. That would have been cool.
Mallory Gordon 30:10
Well, you know, there’s I think it’s had a lot to do with jobs and timing. I mean, there’s so busy.
Mickey Gordon 30:15
Yeah, we got married in the winter. We’re stupid.
Mallory Gordon 30:17
I Exactly. I was gonna say we got married in February, but it wasn’t in Iowa. No, it was Northern Virginia, which wasn’t much better than Iowa. Still. No, dude, it was negative five in our wedding day. Okay, it was cold. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 30:30
but so what do we do? We all flew in a show. You know, basically what happened is we decided to go to but fuck Iowa and Frank and Sheila, who are from the Naked Truth episode. That’s still our number one episode by the way.
Mallory Gordon 30:42
Love this fools. That’s fine. Yes. So we met them at in Chicago. They flew in from their locale we flew in from ours met and rented a car we thought it was a great idea to fly three hours and then drive three hours to this look,
Mickey Gordon 30:55
is flying into Dubuque It was like an extra 500 but was
Mallory Gordon 30:58
and the timing just didn’t work out. We actually saved a little time by driving so and whatever rascal caravan motherfuckers let’s do this right
Mickey Gordon 31:06
so they all pile in the car. We pile on the car. I ended up running like a suburban I rented a massive friggin vehicle,
Mallory Gordon 31:14
which ended up being a genius idea. aeroparque made me look really smart.
Mickey Gordon 31:17
Yeah, but I’d rent it because it was four wheel drive, and I don’t mind a big vehicle. I drive a big vehicle generally anyway, so maybe we’re 30 minutes into the trip. And and I start hearing
Mallory Gordon 31:30
Frank’s moaning I’m like, oh, cheese. I’m
Mickey Gordon 31:32
like What? Did it I pressed up on it. I did it. Anyway, I’m like, What is that noise? So and then of course I turn around. Yeah, and I see that Frank and Sheila immediate 30 minutes up the road and they’re fucking in the backseat. Yeah, they can’t keep their hands off each other. It was to work constantly fucking good for them. They’re always fighting. So they’re fucking in the backseat. Fortunately, it’s tainted but what is my asshole wife do Mallory tees up on my phone, she grabs and jumps into Spotify. And turns up push it at like 90 decibels. And
I can’t was a good joke. And I’m all about theme music, which was also you know, a running you know, joke throughout the weekend. Secret time.
Mickey Gordon 32:14
You absolutely have had sex to that song. I have more than one. I think I got fingerbang for the first time. How appropriate. So anyway, she was losing her shit in the backseat. She’s laughing her ass off. And meanwhile, Frank is trying desperately to keep fucking because apparently he wanted he wanted to come. And we’re laughing so hard in the front seat. They’re like, fuck it. We’re done. We can’t do this with you guys. So we end up stopping at this liquor store called Cox’s.
Mallory Gordon 32:48
Yeah, so we’re a little slap happy at this point was between the tribal day we’re about an hour from our locale we get out. We’re at Cox’s liquor, Sheila and I both wanted shirts in here, but we walk outside and look to get back in the suburban. We’re next to Nancy’s hot slots,
Mickey Gordon 33:03
right. So they put a store called Nancy’s hot slots right next to Cox’s liquor.
Mallory Gordon 33:09
The 12 year 12 year old and this was alive and well.
Mickey Gordon 33:12
This town might have 1500 people in it. Yeah, I mean, it is a shithole little town in the middle of nowhere. And it
Mallory Gordon 33:18
was actually really good. I don’t want to call it a shithole because
Mickey Gordon 33:22
none of it was a shithole. It was just cold.
Mallory Gordon 33:24
Okay. Oh, you’re talking about the time we stopped. I don’t even know what it was. I don’t either.
Mickey Gordon 33:27
But it was tiny. And it was on the way to Dubuque. And it was a little town that don’t get me wrong. If you grew up in that town and you loved that town. That’s awesome. I think you’re telling I
Mallory Gordon 33:35
grew up in a shadow town. So
Mickey Gordon 33:37
I think your towns probably beautiful three seasons out of the year, but in the dead of fucking winter. Your town sucks.
Mallory Gordon 33:42
Yeah, it was. I loved how they support everyone’s liquor habits because there was three, there were three liquor stores and a mile stretch. And that was the entire town.
Mickey Gordon 33:52
The town was a mile wide and it had three liquor stores had like four banks, six churches in a grocery store. That was the end. So we left Nancy’s hot slots behind and went into Dubuque and honestly as we got closer to when we crossed over the Mississippi River,
Mallory Gordon 34:06
which is really cool By the way, again, very
Mickey Gordon 34:08
cool. It’s frozen fucking solid. Yeah. What’s cooler than being cool? Ice cold. It was so cold. So we can roll into this town It was definitely I think that town maybe in hold like early 19 hundred’s s kind of architectural breweries like
Mallory Gordon 34:25
Oh, absolutely. Picture ask. I think we made the joke that it looked like a Norman Rockwell painting.
Mickey Gordon 34:30
Yeah, I think I said it looks like a fucking Thomas kincade Thomas kincade was the other one. Yep. Just like the whole thing was just again, a picture ask is good way to describe it. Boring. Deadly cold.
Mallory Gordon 34:41
Yeah, but I’d say Sheila knocked it out of the park. So she’s the one that booked the Airbnb which ended up being this Victorian mansion and I’m not joking. For levels, including the basement of just absolute gorgeous Craftsman work from the turn of the century. Like it was stunning.
Mickey Gordon 35:00
Right. And since I had this giant frickin suburban that I pulled up in the driveway with everybody decided immediately, they no longer needed to drive. So I got elected DD for the rest of the weekend. Which, you know, that’s probably fine. I don’t drink a hell of a lot when I do that kind of stuff. So I got a joke for you. 12 swingers walk into a bar. But that’s it. Right? That’s all we got. That’s, that’s the end of the joke. Oh, well.
Mallory Gordon 35:26
All right. Seriously, bro. That is the last time you get to hit the cheesy sound effects.
Mickey Gordon 35:32
Anyway, so what happened? We will go into this bar. And it’s the Oh, God was at the rehearsal dinner, right? Yes,
Mallory Gordon 35:38
it was the rehearsal dinner that was. So first we thought we were immediately thrown out because we went to the actual bar first. And then we got walked from one door out the other side. We’re like, oh, we’re like,
Mickey Gordon 35:49
oh, you need to go this way. And they walked us out the exit. We’re like, what the fuck? How did you know? I know. Maybe they change their mind. Maybe they don’t want I’ll tell them. Listen to this other part and her the bride’s family is there. And pretty much nobody else. So 12 of us come rolling through the door. Right?
Mallory Gordon 36:07
Oh, yeah. And I looked around and realized real quick that I had, I had outed myself as the, you know, resident slot of the group because I had on a mini sweater dress, printed stockings and thigh high boots,
Mickey Gordon 36:19
right. It’s like we walk in, and everybody just kind of turns around, the music stops.
Mallory Gordon 36:26
You’re grounded. So that you like literally the music, like everyone turns their heads. And I mean, there was only like, maybe 10 people in there. But I mean, it was really obvious that we stuck out like a sore thumb. So everyone’s like, Okay, all right, chest up, act normal. Let’s be polite, and go introduce ourselves.
Mickey Gordon 36:44
And we did you know, I mean, you see, here’s the cool part. Right? LMC did a great job of really kind of just telling all their family look, we met all these people in the beach in Jamaica, we love them to death. There’s so much fun. But they are a handful. I think they weren’t and we were a handful because Well, I mean, the night ended we went to a bar that shit singer so all our people went up on stage and started singing with him.
Mallory Gordon 37:06
Yeah, I ended up turning into karaoke real fast.
Mickey Gordon 37:09
Yeah, and not nearly as much sex right The only people that I think we’re getting it on that night was Frank and Sheila shocker. Yeah, the first night I think that Yeah, pretty much it
Mallory Gordon 37:19
I think the bride and groom to be came over and they had like their little impromptu photo session. Oh, that’s right.
Mickey Gordon 37:25
Yeah. session Yeah. king bed. Yeah. With the bride. And then I think the
Mallory Gordon 37:30
table like everywhere bride get
Mickey Gordon 37:32
her pussy on the landing. Yeah, that happens. Yeah, that I mean, you know that that’s like, what is it prima nocta. turns with the bride. know if you’re listening, we’re just kidding. That’s half our joking. We were joking. They. They had a great time they came over and party with I don’t know how they’re functional the next day because everybody was hammered. I
Mallory Gordon 37:54
don’t know either. But we got up and I mean, it was on like Donkey Kong. But well, that is no warning from the night before.
Mickey Gordon 38:00
God we wake up and she’s like, okay, it might be time for a shower or sex. I was like, okay, she’s like, No, seriously, sex. Yeah.
Mallory Gordon 38:09
You would not get out of that bed.
Mickey Gordon 38:11
So we called day to come on my ass, please. Oh, even call me I like that. Whatever. Oh my god, that house has got some acoustics you so we were basically on the roof because we got there last. So we had a room that was in the attic. And it was this great. Very room big bed. Huge bed and right next to Jim and Rachel. So we could torture Jim with, you know, the sounds of you getting off over and over and over again. And, you know, we decided it was time to just kind of enjoy ourselves. So day two was crazy. Lots of sex. And everybody decides they’re gonna go out and see the site around Dubuque. I noticed I didn’t say sites. Around Dubuque.
Mallory Gordon 38:52
Aaron’s friend, there was like a few loose ends to tie up. So we ended up staying behind we had some work to do. And then yeah, and well, my vanilla job as well. But you know, we had this epiphany like, Hey, this is a great house. Let’s take some pictures, right
Mickey Gordon 39:11
badass architecture. And next thing I know, Mallory’s ass naked, and she’s standing there like, Hey, we’re gonna take pictures like, okay, yeah, I walked downstairs, I had heels and a necklace. And I said, I found my outfit. It was hot. And I was like, oh my god. So we took all these hot pictures and everybody comes rolling back in. And Mallory’s laying on this cheese lounge ass naked. Or like, did we interrupt
Mallory Gordon 39:37
is great, which is a nice little calm before the storm but you got some really great shots.
Mickey Gordon 39:41
I did. And you guys are all gonna see him on Twitter. That’s actually one of those shots is what got us kicked off Facebook I think. See, they will be great. So we ended up going to this wedding and you do not take 12 swingers to a wedding. Okay, what kind of is it? Well,
Mallory Gordon 39:57
you don’t you don’t you definitely We have to give the disclaimer Right, right. I mean, we didn’t have any guidelines. We were just trying to act normal. Normal so you possibly could for our crew. Yeah, there was no normal but you have to admit that energy though the energy was so good and it’s amazing
Mickey Gordon 40:15
you know, they had a really really beautiful ceremony and I’m not going to go into except to say that all the you pussies cry.
Mallory Gordon 40:20
I fucking bald you guys. I’m I’m usually the tough one. Like I can’t make it through a ceremony without
Mickey Gordon 40:25
cowboy you know, we’re the only ones that didn’t not the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think is
Mallory Gordon 40:31
I totally lost my shit. It was beautiful. We’re so happy for them. Yeah, we are
Mickey Gordon 40:34
and I totally snorted. It was pretty funny. Yeah, her father actually married them. He was the officiant
Mallory Gordon 40:40
Oh, wasn’t that precious? Yeah, it was pretty. And then they got the kids and like, Oh my gosh, it was just absolutely
Mickey Gordon 40:45
Guys, guys. She’s doing it again.
Mallory Gordon 40:47
No, I’m not snotty. I’m thinking about the bridesmaid that laughed. Like, the was like she got the joke two minutes after everyone else did. Oh, and it made me laugh. dead silence and I call like, it was horrible. I was so embarrassed. I hid under your jacket.
Mickey Gordon 41:03
Oh, it was hilarious. So when Mallory laughs hard enough, she snorts and it’s frickin adorable. And it was hilarious. And it was awesome. So this all finishes up, right? The everything’s done. Dinner’s done. And like, Alright, we got to move some tables because it’s not a really big venue. Right? We’re gonna move some tables. The DJ is gonna put some music on everybody’s gonna get their dance on. Well, you start playing music around rascals. And there’s gonna be some dancing. Oh, hell yeah. And sure enough, they move a few tables and Sheila’s ass is out there just cutting a rug. And next thing you know, there’s she’s the instigator is she’s like party girl in chief. And that’s going to mean something here in a couple of minutes. But we get out there and she’s just shaking her ass and all sudden there’s a circle of swingers, and some of the bride’s family starts getting out there. And next thing you know, that the dance was slam packed, everybody was dancing, which is pretty odd for a wedding. Usually you’ve got your wallflowers and people to kind of hang out. Well,
Mallory Gordon 41:57
I think there were enough of us that once they see people on the dance floor, like the other people feel more comfortable coming up. And I think you know, Sheila’s great at that she’ll identify and she’s like, we’re the first ones out there. So she’s the first one on the floor and then you know, usually people filter it
Mickey Gordon 42:10
you guys were the hottest girls at the wedding. Oh, aside from the beautiful bride
Mallory Gordon 42:14
the bride was smoking
Mickey Gordon 42:15
right? And actually the the maid of honor was pretty hot too. we all we all wanted to show her our faces. She was not she was not impressed. You know the best part. My favorite part is there are a few songs in swinger lore.
Mallory Gordon 42:29
Yes yes and you know we do these in Jamaica we pretty much hear them anytime we’re out as a group together and and there’s a certain reaction there is and we can’t be trusted with vanilla when these Come on. It’s coming out
Mickey Gordon 42:41
and somebody had a video camera out for this so this exists in video it really does I just say played Moni Moni and for those of you that have heard money money it’s not like we made this up you know that when they do the money money thing everybody goes get laid or was everybody get laid get fucked or something? It’s well my version Hey, motherfucker get laid get back there it is. Yeah, there it is. Right. So I’m just standing there mouth a gape watching these 80 year old octogenarians going What?
Mallory Gordon 43:08
Yeah, so it’s essentially like the dance off circle that happens and everyone’s like, chanting and singing along in between the actual lyrics and like heads are turning and like if there was a little bit look of shock, but other people actually jumped in the circle and started singing along with
Mickey Gordon 43:25
the bride’s mother jumped in. Well, that
Mallory Gordon 43:27
was during Sweet Caroline. So anyone who has been Hito This is a staple. You know? Everyone loves the song or knows the song at least and there’s two verses you sing in between the actual verses one is suck my dick or lick my clit after they say Sweet Caroline, and the look of the brain smother who was that started? Like, what? Oh, I think I like this word. And she starts singing along. Just like wait, that’s not our part. We say the clip part. You don’t say that. You don’t have a deck. So like, you can see the tech part.
Mickey Gordon 44:01
He’s explaining that the whole vitami is Sweet Caroline, this old lady. Just absolutely riotously funny the crowd jumped in, you know, and it just I think the energy was so strong that it followed us it carried over really soon.
Mallory Gordon 44:16
It really did. Well, I think we started it the right way because on the caravan there which I would love to put this on the podcast I just don’t think we will be able to, but the video of us singing Bohemian Rhapsody like the girls had the verse in the back and not all of us were getting it right and the guys just skipped to the the beginning part C
Mickey Gordon 44:37
are all terrible. You know, you guys were singing three different verses at the same time. Yes, I realized that I realized it anyway, that video exists. If I can throw it out there I’ll do it. Maybe I’ll turn it just audio and put it out there for you guys with the podcast. But that actually happened. These guys were singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of their lungs, but they weren’t done. We get back to the house and they decide to Mallory runs I was one of our booms which is a Bluetooth speaker. Yeah, that’s the theme music right and starts Do you guys did everything from like Tiny Dancer to? I mean, you name it all the you know top. I can’t sing songs in history are getting blurred and they’re dancing on the dining room table and stripping naked in this house. Oh
Mallory Gordon 45:18
yeah, ballroom dancing was Sheila
Mickey Gordon 45:21
huge picture windows everybody can see that’s driving by naked women dancing on the ball ballroom dancing. Well you guys had socks on. I think that’s pretty much
Mallory Gordon 45:31
I don’t remember. I just remember we got naked really fast.
Mickey Gordon 45:34
And that really brought this one everything all hell broke loose, right? So I’m sitting there on the couch editing pictures on my Mac because we had a photo session that day and the girls were dancing and I was just kind of letting the girls do their thing. And I thought I was safe from you guys’s insanity.
Mallory Gordon 45:49
Now Sheila decided that that was unacceptable. No, I was not safe. And off went the laptop.
Mickey Gordon 45:55
Oh, yeah. She grabbed my laptop. She’s like, nope. And then next thing I know. She lives in my lap given me a monster lap dance. That was a really nice. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 46:01
she’s so cute. She’s like, Wow, look at me. I’m good at that. Like, yeah,
Mickey Gordon 46:05
she was good. And next thing you know, she’s asked naked. And she’s, you know, grinding her her pussy in my general direction. And well, this is I think she sat down her bottle of tequila rose. She was carrying around a bottle of tequila.
Mallory Gordon 46:18
Yeah, she’s now the patron saint tequila rose.
Mickey Gordon 46:21
Yeah, she she’s the patron saint of Ruby.
Mallory Gordon 46:26
We mean that. Not in a literal way, obviously. But she’s just, yeah, lights her fire.
Mickey Gordon 46:33
So she turns her attention to Rachel. And Rachel grabs her feet and pulls them up by her ears because she’s incredibly flexible. Rachel is a pole dancer. So she’s thinking feet up to her ears. Yeah, Andy. And I’m sitting six inches from these two because I was already on the couch and I was not giving up my seat. So I’m like, Okay, this is pretty impressive. And apparently all Hell’s breaking loose. Next thing I know. Mallory is underneath shout, Sheila. Oh, yeah. And, and I see what’s happening because she was getting more and more excited. And here’s a little fun tip. If you don’t know it about Sheila, she’s a squirter.
Mallory Gordon 47:06
Fun tip about Mallory. I’ve never been squirted on.
Mickey Gordon 47:09
Up until up until that bad. It was it was too cute. Frank comes up behind Sheila. And does something and within two seconds, I see Mallory sit up and she’s just soaked. No, no, let
Mallory Gordon 47:21
me paint this for you. Oh, she did so. So we have one on the couch. She left her knees. I slide underneath. And I’m going to town and then Frank’s pretty much like watch this. And he gets his fingers in there. And I hear my name from Sheila. And I’m like, Yes, I thought she was gonna
Mickey Gordon 47:41
open for that. Oh, I
Mallory Gordon 47:42
totally did. And oh, yeah. Yeah. And next thing I knew, I’m like, I’m getting waterboarded it’s in my hair. It’s all over my face. It’s rolling down waited so I’m like, oh, that you were trying to warn me. She’s like Yeah, I was like I’m fine. I’m good. It’s not p everybody
Mickey Gordon 48:00
just so you know. It’s not be really good. did know that took a face. Well look, you got hit with a water balloon. That was really really warm. really warm water. She had a fever. So you sat up You look like a drowned rat. And, and I was just like, wow, that just happened right next to me. And then everybody co well, somebody brought Mallory a towel thankfully she needed it. And then everything just really went off so these three girls just start climbing into a pile on the couch and just started going crazy on each other It was so hot. It was such a sexual chemistry in the air then mnb Next thing you know they disappear into the next room. The reason this is important is because there’s a cheese lounge in there that we use to take some pictures will be doesn’t cuss she no no super proper. She doesn’t say anything dirty. And I hear slap my pussy from right. And I’m like whoa, what was that? Like seven
Mallory Gordon 48:58
like like Scooby Doo gang you dig dig dig, dig dig all everyone who’s not currently involved is ever to watch exactly what’s happening in the next room.
Mickey Gordon 49:07
I’m watching the three girls and I’m like and I hear fuck me. God dammit. Like, whoa, what is that? Because Yeah, get it get some and then like I’m like, holy crap. So I stayed where I was because you and Rachel and Sheila were going off it was so hot that DND broke off and went upstairs to break some of you got waterboarded right that was nuts. But you and Rachel hadn’t had a chance to play a long time
Mallory Gordon 49:32
Yeah, it’s been a while and oh my damn is that hot? Yeah.
Mickey Gordon 49:36
I love that when you and I think one of you kind of whispered and the other ones here Why have we waited so long?
Mallory Gordon 49:41
Oh yeah. It there’s something about getting lost in that moment. And it it when it’s organic like that and it just happens like it’s like a flip of the switch. I mean everything else in the in the environment ceases to exist. Yeah, so some of this I was hearing secondhand because I was so involved in the moment
Mickey Gordon 49:59
which is amazing. You know, I posted a picture it was just your back that like there was nobody else in the picture you were better face down ass up. No ass in the picture. Just your back. Yeah. And Instagram and Instagram took it down. Yeah, they said it was it was pornography. I’m like, wow, okay, well, it really was they’re not wrong. That’s,
Mallory Gordon 50:16
you know, that one I really can’t say much about because,
Mickey Gordon 50:20
but it’s still on Twitter guys, if you want to check that out. But this insatiable little thing here, the next morning, well, that night, she went after me like she was gonna eat me. It was more, more morning sex is such a great atmosphere. And so that’s kind of what brings us to this house, this this place. All these people. It was just howling with laughs and music and sex. And it was a different feeling right now. I mean, it was it was just different.
Mallory Gordon 50:51
It is it was, again, this goes back to our tribe. It’s it We’re so lucky and so fortunate. It was just like sliding right in. There’s no adjustment period. We are all know each other. You know? Yeah, really? Well, you
Mickey Gordon 51:05
don’t get that with a club. You don’t? No, no, no, you don’t get it. You just don’t. I mean, swinging is great. And lifestyle is great. But when you find your tribe, it’s organic. It’s natural. It’s perfect. And that’s kind of what this weekend turned out to be when you got a group of people you just hit it with it changes everything. And that common bond was just perfect this weekend. And we talked about you know, keep at it, be patient, your tribe will create itself. That’s really what we’re talking about. And that’s what happened this weekend.
Mallory Gordon 51:33
Yeah, the rascal compound Just so you know, if there’s a big suburban that rolls up and you start to hear Calliope music, or maybe lo writer and 12 singer, swingers roll out of it three actually in the trunk. Yeah. You know, feel free to come along. Join us. shenana came
Mickey Gordon 51:52
along look in the window cuz Frank and Sheila will be fucking, because that’s what they did on the way on the way back to the airport. Back to midway, they fucked again. We were talking I hear where she was using her vibrator. I was like, seriously, next thing I know her pants land in the front, sadly. Well, there they go again.
Mallory Gordon 52:09
I think she spent 85% of that right. pantsless
Mickey Gordon 52:12
she did. She didn’t put clothes on till we got to MIT.
Mallory Gordon 52:14
Well, you’re such an asshole. You kept turning off the climate in the rear and push it all the way up to 80 degrees. She’s like, why is it so admire? Because he just wanted to stay naked.
Mickey Gordon 52:24
I did turn the heat up on a Monday. I turned the rear up to 88 and left it and they kept doing it. They kept changing and I kept turning it back up because I’m a prick. But guys, this has been a quick recap of our climate swing, which was a trip to Hito where Mallory got dirty with a Canadian. And then our trip to Iowa where we just had a giant fucking orgy in 100 year old house. Ain’t nothing but a cheese thing. She’s opposed.
Mallory Gordon 52:53
We’re very close to Wisconsin. There was many cheese jokes. There’s
Mickey Gordon 52:55
a lot of cheese curds up in that truck. But hey guys, this has been a blast. We’re gonna come back with a special edition of toy box. There is an event coming up. We’re going to talk about this again in a few minutes. But there is an event coming up this weekend in Atlanta, Georgia.
Mallory Gordon 53:09
Absolutely. If you guys are in the area, Jeff definitely check them out. This is brought to you by Liberator. Yes, at the Liberty fabricator factory stores. There’s
Mickey Gordon 53:17
a factory store. They’re in Atlanta, and they have a company called cowgirl coming out with a new rideable toy. We’re going to talk about that in a few minutes. We’re gonna talk about Liberator but that event is coming up on Saturday from four to 6pm. At the factory store, you can look at our Twitter, you can see there’s a dress and everything up there. But we’ll post more about that in the show notes. Anyway, we’re gonna get to that here in a couple of minutes with a special edition of toybox Ladies and gentlemen, we’ll be right back after this. You’ve been listening to casual swinger.
Mallory Gordon 53:56
Welcome back to casual swinger Mallory here. I’m still making excellent and let’s talk Toy Box today, folks. The folks over at Liberator as Mickey was saying earlier, are having a special event and this is launching a new toy that they’re coming out with right?
Mickey Gordon 54:13
Yeah, well, it’s I think this is a partnership for Liberator right. I think you’ll be able to buy it through Liberator but it’s actually a separate company. Oh, okay. Ride the cowgirl.
Mallory Gordon 54:21
Nice, nice. And this this thing looks really cool. Now. I’m going to start with I’m a big fan of Liberator in general. Um, we’ve used the wedges for a long time and I have what’s called an essay. That is actually has a mount in inside of it for the Hitachi magic wand.
Mickey Gordon 54:39
Oh, that’s your wedge? Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 54:40
yeah. Yeah. So Oh, okay. So I had it backwards. The chair. Okay. I’m a little dyslexic. Um, so yeah. Which is was a fantastic toy. I mean, these wedges are so versatile. I mean, they’re great for anal sex and missionary sex and like, all these other fantastic positions and they have like this whole line of like, benches and furniture and I mean, you name it as high quality shit.
Mickey Gordon 55:04
Very much so and they have a great like the the coatings that go around them like the fabric is really soft and comfortable. Yes. It’s not like it’s just vinyl crap. Yeah, right.
Mallory Gordon 55:13
Yeah. So they talk about the wedges that I love so much. And you know, the highlight is you know, for anal and missionary, but I mean, I use it all the time for like a modified doggie, especially with that Hitachi pocket that it has, like you literally it’s like Velcro, you slip it in there, the head sticks out of the wedge end. And then you can lay across it. So now it’s hands free. And I can wiggle and move and and press and all those fun things. Well, you know, you’re doing work behind me or I get somebody playing with fingers and a it’s just a it’s a fantastic little add on tool that’s not a direct sex toy, but a sex accoutrement.
Mickey Gordon 55:56
It really is. And you know those things. I think they come in different heights, too.
Mallory Gordon 56:00
They do. They do. They do. Yeah, they come in different depths and heights, so you can modify it based on your body. Mine is like at the 27 degree angle. And I think mine’s about seven and a half, eight inches tall.
Mickey Gordon 56:15
I can measure it for because
Mallory Gordon 56:16
Yeah, because of that, well, my my hip ratio like that just one seemed to fit, right. I mean, I had the ability to lay across them and test them out because we found them in a story years ago. That’s right. That was a lot of fun. Well,
Mickey Gordon 56:29
if you think about this for a second, right, I mean, everybody’s shaped differently. So we had Beth Liebling on the show a while back from darling way boutique. And she talked about boring married sex. One of the things that contributes to boring married sex is having the same positions all the time. Yeah. And one of the reasons you use that position is because it’s comfortable. That’s
Mallory Gordon 56:48
right. That’s right. I mean, we’re not spring chickens. I mean, we’re not decrepid either, but there are certain positions that after, you know, a minute or two they get, they might get a little uncomfortable. And that helps me out. Because I know,
Mickey Gordon 57:01
and this helps overcome boring marriage. Yeah, I can try new positions, because you can find ones that work that you weren’t using before. And that when we talk about Liberator, that’s what they mean. That’s the name. The name means liberate you from boring, married sex.
Mallory Gordon 57:15
Beautiful, poetic, even,
Mickey Gordon 57:17
right? It’s and that’s what these things are for. And these this is furniture that’s designed to augment your sex life. And you know, the wedge, that thing can fit under your bed, nothing can go in the can.
Mallory Gordon 57:27
Yep, it can go in the closet behind the nightstand under the bed. They have the nice bags that you can put them into because they are like a velvet color or velvet texture to them. Yeah, so they do collect like some lint or dust from time to time. So you do want to share and our case talk here. So you didn’t want to protect them. But I mean, it’s stood up I mean it for being a piece of you know, high quality foam. I would think after all these years, we’ve had ours what, eight years?
Yeah, we’ve had that for a good long time. And I mean, it’s it’s in perfect condition. It’s still money. Yeah. And
Mickey Gordon 57:59
so that’s a still a premium toy. Right? So we’re talking about here, Liberator doesn’t make junk. Okay, they make really good stuff. That’s going to last you a long time. Like Mallory just said our toys proper. Our wedge is probably eight years old. And you know, I mean, I think at 150 bucks, which that’s retail you can get it cheaper if some of your local outlets I think they’re running a 20% off site wide sale right now. calm. There’s no code. We’re not an affiliate with those now.
Mallory Gordon 58:24
No, no. And I want to say they start in like the mid $90 range, depending on which wedge or which accoutrements you like in it, and the design all the way up to like $210
Mickey Gordon 58:36
Yeah, and so interestingly enough, if you want to get really premium, you go with our other Liberator, which I think it’s pronounced s d SSE s. And it’s probably should be because it’s shaped like a frickin s. Yeah. Right. So you love that. Damn,
Mallory Gordon 58:50
that is neat. So remember the story we told you guys about the wavy chair that our kids like to use as a video game nook? Oh, yeah, that’s great. Freeing pussy giving blowjobs getting laid? Yeah, that thing that it’s amazing. It’s a neat piece of furniture and I love that it’s if you’re into a more modern style you could literally set that in your living room and a color scale that matches no whatever no and unless someone has used something like that or knows of them it completely blend in
Mickey Gordon 59:21
it would and you know Liberator helpfully puts this list of sex positions if you go to the website for Are you going to liberate comm slash ask that’s essc you can see all these crazy sex positions like velvet throne and rising star and let’s see, so yeah, they give you a how to manual, which is great.
Mallory Gordon 59:39
I looked at some of those like, Oh, I’m gonna have to do some yoga. I’m gonna
Mickey Gordon 59:42
have to print some of these out because when we usually just jump on and go to work, but there’s so many different things you can do with Oh,
Mallory Gordon 59:49
yeah, like the reverse cowgirl modified one.
Mickey Gordon 59:51
Oh, yeah, I’m all about that. Right. I want to try Deep Impact. Can we try that one?
Mallory Gordon 59:58
I feel like I need a space helmet.
Mickey Gordon 1:00:01
If you were a space helmet, I’m not going to be able to get off. Sorry. I’m going to be able to think about as the Martian. You grow potatoes. Isn’t there a space movie or something called Deep Impact? An asteroid slammed into Earth and killed everybody. That doesn’t sound sexy. Oh, okay. But I will be that guy like, what was it the the guy that died in the volcano with his dick in his hand. On pay Yeah, that’s how I’m going out pump. Hey, man, that’s gonna crank one off for the for the asteroid kids here. Oh, well
Mallory Gordon 1:00:35
back to Liberator. Again, we’ve used we own and have used several of their items. It’s hard to pick just one. We have both. absolutely loved them, check them out. Again, they’re premium. They’re a little more on the pricey side. But they especially that wedge, like I said, it’s lasted so long. I couldn’t be happier with that purchase. And again, everyone’s a different shape, size, style. A it’s a it’s a great option.
Mickey Gordon 1:01:06
It really is nice accoutrement if you’re in the Atlanta, Georgia area, area, not area area. If you’re in the Atlanta, Georgia area this Saturday from three to 5pm. That’s March 16. from three to 5pm. liberators concept store is located on bankers industrial drive, and they will be hosting ride the cowgirl, they’re going to have a sex machine rodeos. They’re going to have multiples of these Cowgirls there for you guys to check out. For what I hear about these. It’s a quieter, rideable. It’s Yeah. Right. So
Mallory Gordon 1:01:35
let’s talk about that. So there’s, there’s other manufacturers out there. There’s motor Bunny, there’s, what’s the popular Debian sybian. So it’s a writable, just like those ultra high end premium 360, you know, turn on, you know, the insertable base, then it has like the six or eight function vibes in the front. And you have the control module, which you can use on yourself or with a partner. It looks great. It’s got a 400 pound like rating on it. So that’s right. So you know, I mean, if Mama’s big she can jump on. Yeah, yeah. And well, and I like stuff like this, then I don’t have to worry cuz I’m a grinder. And I’m a mover. And I don’t want to have to worry about the integrity of Yeah, yeah.
Mickey Gordon 1:02:21
Okay, so, I mean, this thing’s gotten a secret some horsepower to 1200 rpm. Holy shit.
Mallory Gordon 1:02:25
Yeah. I mean, I’ve worker headboard, slapping a dildo on it.
Mickey Gordon 1:02:29
did break our headboard. That was pretty impressive. We can tell that story sometime. Later times. Was that girthy? George? Yeah. We named we named our dogs in this house. Anyway, yeah, check these guys out. And they’re at liberator.com. If you want to learn more information about Liberator and again, they’re having a sex machine rodeo for premium sex machines that’s worth 2000 bucks. They’re going to give one away on Saturday, March 16, from three to 5pm. And you know what, we’re going to have Angela, the PR director for the operator on the show.
Mallory Gordon 1:02:59
Yeah, we’re gonna talk style and, and conception and innovation when it comes to their line of sex toys and what her philosophy is behind them. So
Mickey Gordon 1:03:09
industrial design conversation coming up, loving looking forward to that. But Matt, why don’t you tell everybody where they can find us. And we’ll jump out of here and let you guys go for the week. But hopefully you’ve had some fun listening to our stories about keto and about the experience at the Iowa wedding which and of course our friends at Liberator who makes some of the coolest sex toys in the business.
Mallory Gordon 1:03:31
Right on I was gonna say here and wait because it takes you like three or five times before you finish up and let people know that you’re going to actually let them go before you really do. So I’m not talking to you. Alright guys, well, you can find a schedule somewhere everywhere. That’s Instagram, not facebook, facebook, twitter, SLS. SDC and Cassidy. Feel free to hit us up. Give us your feedback. Ask us your questions at podcast at casual swinger.com. We love you guys. Thanks for listening.