SE03E18 – For Novelty Use Only
Fri, 8/27 5:28PM • 1:13:05
sex toys, toys, dildo, fucking, swinger, covered, body, condoms, materials, put, pvc, great, good, products, mallory, song, talk, casual, shit, medical grade
Mickey Gordon, Mallory Gordon
Mallory Gordon 00:02
You’re listening to the casual swinger podcast as your hosts, we need to warn you that the material you’re about to hear may be sexual or explicit in nature. This podcast is intended for an adult audience. Now, we don’t expect you to act like adults. What’s the fun in that?
Mickey Gordon 00:16
We’re a married couple living in Florida with over 13 years of experience in the lifestyle and we take almost nothing seriously. Casual swingers a variety show meaning we’ll cover everything from music to events, travel, and even the occasional hilarious screw up. Our show is about entertainment. We’re not licensed professionals had anything and our stories, commentary and guidance should not be confused with the opinions of a licensed professional.
Mallory Gordon 00:41
Now that you know, let’s take those pants off and get comfy. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to casual swinger. I’m Mallory and Mickey. And we’re here with you for season three episode 18. For novelty use, only,
Mallory Gordon 01:02
This is gonna be an interesting conversation.
Mickey Gordon 01:04
Yeah, this is one we’ve been kind of putting off for a while. And it’s, you know, we’ve since we got into the sex toy business, we’ve just kind of kept looking back at everything was going on and going, what the hell is going on?
Mallory Gordon 01:15
Yeah, yeah, there’s been multiple revelations we’ve had. And you know, as the knowledge we’ve gathered, I think it’s really important to share that with some of our listeners. So
Mickey Gordon 01:24
it is, and I want to say maybe a month and a half ago, we made the decision to take casual toys body safe, which meant taking a lot of product out of the store. I want
Mallory Gordon 01:34
to say looking at the available products, it’s probably more than 70% in some cases, depending on the product line.
Mickey Gordon 01:41
Well, yeah, it’s there’s a lot of things we choose not to carry. And we took over 2000 products out of the store. Yeah, just buy. Yeah, you’re dead to me.
Mallory Gordon 01:50
Yeah. Yeah. for multiple reasons, which we’ll get into later in the show.
Mickey Gordon 01:54
Yeah, we will. But in the meantime, before we get into all that shit, we’re gonna talk about the meet and greet a little bit.
Mallory Gordon 02:00
Yeah, man. So we had a meet and greet. last podcast, we announced it. It was a really great time. I enjoyed myself. A couple of hiccups. The weather didn’t exactly cooperate. But we had a great turnout got to meet some of our future p cap partiers. Yeah.
Mickey Gordon 02:17
So cool that those guys showed up in force. I can’t think the P cap crew enough, which is just a bunch of folks that are coming to peak app that just decided to join us. Yeah, it was cold as shit for Florida. Actually. It was like 55 Yeah, though. Yeah, the pool was absolutely no go. Yeah. The worst time ever to have a pool party. I think God. Yeah, yeah, we did it with some new speakers, but whatevs Yeah, DJ didn’t show so I get to run up Sam’s Club and buy speakers and make use of Mallory’s dancing my ass off playlist. Here was
Mallory Gordon 02:46
a little bit of a show. But we ended up having a great time we even had a I had two couples that we’re friends with locally that surprises
Mickey Gordon 02:55
actually, that might have made my night if the Pepe pineapple hadn’t showed up. And she was so free. Oh my gosh, I just it My heart was so full leaving there. Yeah, it really was. I mean, we lost our ass, but we still had a good time. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 03:11
yeah. I don’t know that we’re good business people is really a big question or sanity as well. But I am looking forward to doing another one, especially when the weather warms up.
Mickey Gordon 03:20
Yeah, I think you should definitely do. And I’d love to do another Pool Party one too, because I think that was definitely in our wheelhouse. Oh, 100%. Even the venue was in our wheelhouse. It just just the weather did not help and a few other little things went wrong. So you know what, I think you got to do your first one. And like you said, maybe it’s a little bit of a blessing that the weather turned South because a lot of the people that had signed up on STC didn’t come because of the weather. And that was fine.
Mallory Gordon 03:46
Yeah, that’s fair enough. And you know what, that will lead to a more intimate, inviting environment. So I get to spend a little time when I wasn’t at the door, because we didn’t have a door person. He didn’t have like, 50 people. I mean, it didn’t suck. Yeah, no, it was great. It was still really, really great. So thank you to everyone that came out to support us and we’ll announce the next one. Speaking of the next one. Do you want to talk about GPG a little bit or is it too soon? Did I just burst the bubble. Oh, why do you gotta go? I know I don’t follow direction. No,
Mickey Gordon 04:11
that’s a fine time to talk about GB. So coming up here in April, if you guys aren’t aware, and those of you that don’t drive Jeeps, that’s fine, that you don’t drive a Jeep but we are Jeep people and a lot of people don’t know that about us, but I have a couple of them actually. It’s one of my passions. So this thing goes down in Daytona in April. It’s called Jeep beach and what happens is 1000s of people go out to Daytona Beach and just drive them down the beach and act like total assholes,
Mallory Gordon 04:36
ya know, and it’s a great time April’s absolutely beautiful out there. Sometimes it gets a little chilly at night, but the beach tees are fucking amazing. And we talk a lot about like if we can marry like our jeeping life and our swinger life like it would be like utopia Mecca. What else would you call it?
Mickey Gordon 04:52
No. Nirvana Nirvana. There you go. For me, I just think it’d be super fun. We’re gonna be on the beach. Anyway. It’s more than likely going to be you know, Very Vanilla for us because we are going to have some friends that have kids around. But if you happen to be a Jeep or you’re coming into the area for G beach and you want to hang out and say hi, stop in and say hello, make sure to reach out to us either on our Twitter page on Instagram, whenever Facebook pages, or just send us an email at podcast at casual stringer.com and say, Hey, coming to Jeep beach, would love to stop and say hi, maybe we’ll have a casual swinger pair of sunglasses or a T shirt throw your way. Yay. Yeah, that’d be cool. I love it. But our world lately has been basically like people in our house every freakin weekend. Oh, it sounds that way. Yeah, we just had Justin Derek here. It’s great when they make my heart sing. I think it’s safe to say we have a crush on those two.
Mallory Gordon 05:45
Oh, big time. Yeah. What’s above crush? Like, but there’s not like stalker. Creepy ish. I don’t know. I feel it’s it’s kind of anyone has it already? Yeah, if anyone. If anyone has a word for it, please message me. You
Mickey Gordon 05:58
can stalk somebody that lives 2000 miles away from you, then that’s that’s what we’re doing right. Now, we were really excited. They came down to visit we just kind of hung out and did silly things and played games and went to the beach. Poor Jess burnt her ass so badly. Like her ass looks like a tomato guys. Like, Oh, that’s a beautiful ass it is. It’s an asset. I would love to put my face in again repeatedly. Soon.
Mallory Gordon 06:25
You know what you should do? You should wear aloe on your face and then rub your face on her. And this is perfect. I
Mickey Gordon 06:30
know. Listening. I’m gonna need you to come over. I’m gonna rub aloe on your ass with my face. I’ll be back this weekend. I know. I know. Between now and that, love it. And I’m gonna just wipe out the wall or maybe I’ll probably burn my eyeballs out because it’d be like the soothing aloe that has alcohol in it and I won’t know it and then I’ll scream and fall down the stairs and that’ll be the end of my would be your luck but I advise you to read the label. Yeah, I probably should. That’s all right. But you know the other thing. Speaking of beach and G beach and going to the beach adjusting Derek, you know p cap is coming up and a lot of the P cap people have been just raping our swimsuit collection.
Mallory Gordon 07:06
Dude, the daisy actually has a really great line and some of them are a little more, you know, fancy is not the great word, but like they’re definitely like,
Mickey Gordon 07:17
you don’t wanna get in the water with them. Almost. There’s so many
Mallory Gordon 07:19
No, but they’re sexy as fuck like they’re sparkly and tiny. And yeah, it’s been a hit lately
Mickey Gordon 07:24
sometimes like and I think our all time greatest customer in the history of ever is probably alley Valley and DJ. Oh, 100%. Actually, she buys shit like every week on her store, but she was swimsuit shopping and the one that she picked out actually wasn’t in stock. I think the bottoms weren’t in stock in her size or something. So what ended up happening was she’s like, well just pick me one. I’m like, oh, no pressure. Yeah, I’m not the guy. You want to shut off you but I picked one four, and she loves it. Yay. Yes. And it looks amazing on her. So that was that was pretty handy. But yeah, she’s great. Thanks for putting my kids through college. Let’s come on, calm down. Hey, wishful thinking. wishful thinking never heard anybody but no, I just I’m really excited that we’ve reached that time of the year where we’re going to the beach and we’re talking about pee cap, which is not that far away. It’s in May.
Mallory Gordon 08:16
I am so excited. I’m also so nervous because I’ve I’ve got some general ideas there are themed nights involved for the evening events. And I love theme nights I absolutely love them and I really want to step my game up so I’m in planning mode to try to fit all the pieces into my ideas. And I think there’s a couple that are a little too outlandish. Yeah, or I’ve dialed it back because I learned my lesson like you know stuff that doesn’t get us laid.
Mickey Gordon 08:41
Oh that yeah me like dressing me like a fucking zombie. Yes. Okay,
Mallory Gordon 08:44
let’s go. So there’s been a couple of rewrites so now you know that I have the big ideas it’s it’s time to do some shopping that and I have a few things to work through but I think we can do it.
Mickey Gordon 08:54
Well the other thing I need to do is I need to launch the theme night section on casual toys because there’s not just pee cap I mean people going to heat oh and stuff like that. So that is coming for us for you guys that are
Mallory Gordon 09:03
that’s a great point like hotel takeovers to like popular ones that you see often are like low night 80s night and sometimes they feed into each other It would be nice for me as a shopper to have a collection there that it’s easy pickins like you kind of think for me
Mickey Gordon 09:20
yeah like takes a while to go through all of it but we’re gonna get that done. And you know you’re speaking to pee cat by the way. I don’t know if you guys listened to the last episode. I hate to be that guy that assumes that you listen to the last episode, but we had Kate from wonder less swingers slash swinging down under the proprietor proprietress on what you want to say of podcast a poker player test some sexy kinky? Yeah. proprietors. Let’s call her that. Rare anyway. Yeah, we had her live in studio and we got some of the best feedback and I tried to share it all with email if I can, but we got just the best feedback on that episode and just how he Minimizing it was because they didn’t Kate is so professional and so damn good when she’s on her show that she just kind of laid back and you know, somebody pointed out, actually just made me cry.
Mallory Gordon 10:08
I’m gonna talk about the intro. Yeah. I love that that she kind of broke our standard and interrupted and like contributed to our intro part, which I loved because it was so off the cuff.
Mickey Gordon 10:19
Yeah, she made it impossible for us to maintain our normal professionalism, which is hesitate to call us professional and say That’s ironic. I know. But she made it impossible. She’s like, No, no, you don’t get to do your normal stick. I’m in the studio is so much fun. I
Mallory Gordon 10:32
would do that. 100 times over. I just had a blast talking to her.
Mickey Gordon 10:36
She was really good. But if you guys haven’t looked at podcast or Palooza yet, or if you live under a rock, or maybe you know you’re a little concerned about where things are going to COVID and you’re feeling better with all the vaccinations that are out there today. Make sure you check out www dot podcast dash a dash palooza.com there are still some rooms left and I really believe this I know he said this last year and it didn’t happen. But now this it’s going to be the can’t miss lifestyle event. It really is
Mallory Gordon 11:04
like she said there’s things that are happening that even we don’t know, which is exciting for me. I know we’re going to we’re going to be contributing as well. But at the same time I feel like there’s there’s a lot left for for me as well. So I’m just losing my shit with excitement to be able to get there. You’re right and being around people again too. Well that too. And it’s non you know, international travel. So if you’re especially in the lower 48 Yeah, now Miami’s really easy to get to it’s a beautiful, beautiful time of year to get there it’s not a huge investment in time like desire or hido where you have to go at least five to seven days you know, I really feel like this is got all the makings of a cat Miss lifestyle event that’s gonna end up being an annual thing
Mickey Gordon 11:48
Yeah, I mean not necessarily going to be in Florida right she may move it around but I just think it’s going to be so wicked and you know the dipshits for spring break won’t be there anymore by that Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 11:59
by the way that’s not Floridians I don’t know if you guys have seen the memes running around but yeah our own idiots we don’t need I was gonna say if you’re if you’re a Floridian we don’t go out there because when we don’t like that many people’s right you don’t do crowds we you know we don’t do the parks. We don’t do the beaches when they’re super crowded in even in Miami is too fucking cold for us. Like we’re not getting in the water. Oh, no.
Mickey Gordon 12:19
Well, it was hilarious because we were at the beach this weekend with Jess and Derek. And they both went out to the water and I was I literally stayed up by the jeep. I was like, Oh,
Mallory Gordon 12:27
no, I I compromised. I got my ankles wet. Even then, it was like five seconds. I was like, I
Mickey Gordon 12:36
got like, the water was a tourist. Yeah. pretty fantastic. But if you guys don’t remember in terms of podcasts, a Palooza the hosts include, not only us but we got to things swinging Outside the Lines black and kinky, wanderlust, of course, monogamous marriage, who is a blog that I just adore, by the way, and they’re super on that too towards souls. The beautiful ladies have two hot wives, our wonderful friends Janie Angie, and that’s the average swingers. And of course, the beautiful ladies of Fort Lauderdale. Yeah, sapphic swingers. Absolutely. And Dave and Andy from web nation. He’ll be there but I don’t know what they’re doing. But are they like sponsors? Yeah, exactly. them in Playhouse Lv who we also know and love. It’s like a family reunion. I can’t wait. Yeah, we’re jacked. I’m not gonna lie. This is gonna be awesome. And we’re bringing a bunch of buttload I mean, huge goodies. A buttload bunch about loads of goodies. But But I need an excuse for lunch. Or dinner. I screwed it all up. Okay, I’m gonna leave it in two. But we are bringing so many goodies with us and a bunch of unique condoms with specials on all that stuff for a peek out friends. So bring your wallet.
Mallory Gordon 13:51
Oh my gosh. What are you traveling salesman? Now? I’m a capitalist. Oh, God. That’s right. I mean, I’ll be in the pool with my new friends with my babies out.
Mickey Gordon 14:00
Oh, all right. Well, you know, if you had your boobies out at the table, I might actually sell some condoms. To me. Well, you can use them you Baxter’s with your new friends. Let’s make them by him. He charged me for condoms. Oh my god. buy a pack of condoms free round with Mallory. No, no, it’s not gonna go away. Go home. You’re drunk yet but I’m working on it. Crap. Well, hey, we have a lot to get into for novelty use only we really need to probably move over to the main segment here. But
Mallory Gordon 14:32
yeah, do we want to do a quick preface as to why we want to talk about things or we do that then?
Mickey Gordon 14:36
I think we should I think we should kind of kick it in a little bit. Specifically, you know, let’s talk just really fast about your experience with cheap sex toys comm coming up growing up buying sex toys, loving sex toys, being on a limited income or because a young person what did they do to you? Did you ever have problems with
Mallory Gordon 14:53
oh my gosh, all the time. So I’ve I’ve been using sex toys since I was probably 15 or 16 years old and I I always had issues and I chalked it up to me being air quotes sensitive down there. There’ll be burning sensation or swelling like or just general discomfort. And after the extensive amount of research and knowledge base that we have now, it turns out that that was a byproduct of the quality of toy I was using individual. And it’s not just a price point issue. It’s a knack, lack of knowledge issue. And then learning, like you told me how they’re classified based on the certifications and other testing that sex toys go through or do not have to grow through based on that classification.
Mickey Gordon 15:40
Yeah, it scared the crap out it’s it’s insane. And that’s why I was like, we have to go body safe. We have to get rid of all this crap. And then we got rid of drawers for sex toys. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 15:50
I mean, and I have honestly so I resorted to using like condoms and stuff but they’re I remember one experience I was probably just at a high school where I couldn’t have sex for over a week because it just mess me up.
Mickey Gordon 16:03
That was an eternity for you in high school.
Mallory Gordon 16:05
Yeah, yeah. Not being able to touch myself like even my been like, That was awful. Sad. Angry little bean. Yeah. Angry angry Mallory. On top of it. It’s like being hangry but for a sec. I can’t
Mickey Gordon 16:17
touch my pussy. You don’t understand. Yeah, Bad Bad Juju. Oh, not good. We’re gonna dig into this in just a minute. We’re gonna come right back. Now you want to tell everybody how to find us and we will come right back.
Mallory Gordon 16:27
Sure guys, we’re casual swinger everywhere. Casual swinger calm and she does a message podcast at casual swinger.com if you have any questions, or would like to unmute give us kudos. You can also do that on iTunes. We have a social media, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and we’re on the dating sites too. So if you’re local and in the area, feel free to check us out that is doubletake nation STC SLS and Cassidy that’s gonna do it folks. We’ll
Mickey Gordon 16:53
be right back with a little more for novelty use only you’ve been listening to casually swinger everybody welcome back to casual swingers. Still, Mickey Why are you bobbing your head left and right with Stevie Wonder as
Mallory Gordon 17:20
I usually don’t get to hear music in between segments and I could hear it in the background. So I was just jamming. I’ve been listening to music all day. I’m a happy girl.
Mickey Gordon 17:30
Well, that’s gonna explain the Mallory’s box segment after this Valerie’s box was Mallory’s toy box but it’s gonna be music box. Yes, it is. We get that Fuck that. We’ll get into that in a few but we’re gonna talk a little bit about for novelty use only we’re gonna talk about sex toys and the safety of sex toys. But before we get into that, I need to make sure that we put a huge plug. Huge, huge, huge like orange guy. Huge, right? Huge plug for dangerous Lily who has the sex blog, dangerous Lily calm. I’ll put a link to her in the show notes here. But she seriously maintains the best resource on the internet that I could find at all regarding the safety of sex toys,
Mallory Gordon 18:08
which is awesome, like good on her, but also a little frightening that there’s a limited amount of information. There’s none regarding, you know, crowdsourcing or personal experience.
Mickey Gordon 18:19
Yeah, there’s a couple other websites that have kind of thrown some stuff up there. And at some point, we’re gonna write our own guide to this information on casual toys calm, so yeah, dangerous. Lilly does take money from her competitors for her website, but I don’t blame her for that. She’s a fantastic writer. She has a ton of great info that we probably never would have found if it wasn’t for her. So we’ll definitely put that in there for you guys to check it out.
Mallory Gordon 18:41
Yeah, man, but like, for real seriously when it comes to these toys companies like what the fuck
Mickey Gordon 18:48
yeah. For novelty use only they that’s the thing that really jumped out and struck me like these manufacturers often label their products as for novelty use only if you go to any sex toy store and flip over the package, you’re going to see it almost on every package you pick up and they do it more or less to avoid taking responsibility for the health impacts associated with the use of sex toys that are made from harmful products or more harmful materials rather,
Mallory Gordon 19:16
it’s crazy. So they essentially have found a loophole to forgive them of any liability of disclosure of the composure or the caution you know, because we were reading through and we’ll go over these here in just a second some of the quote unquote warning labels of these but they’re really not unless you’re doing your research you really don’t know the the potential implications of using that product. Not just one time, maybe more than once. Well, yeah, I mean, sexually once and throws it away. Well, apparently that’s what their main four
Mickey Gordon 19:51
that is literally how they are constructed is crazy, but I’m over here like Christ my first dildo, right? He’s the shit out of that thing. No wonder well and some of these these disclaimers, right? Some of them are hilariously stupid. This one that accounts on the back of a box made in China, I’m not gonna call the manufacturer out because that’s not the point of this show. The point of this show is not to go after anybody, but to get you guys to take some personal responsibility for your own bodies and make sure you you look into what these products say, but this is on the back of a vibrator. Now, a lot of times people use a vibrator externally but sometimes you stick it in right I mean, some people do that
Mallory Gordon 20:32
as especially the shape in a lot of cases the shape almost implies that it’s insertable
Mickey Gordon 20:38
Yeah, like it’s like a rabbit I don’t know are in shape of a penis. Well, and here’s the thing these products say for novelty use only even though their design their packaging language, their their place of sale, everything that’s around them, indicates that you’re probably supposed to put it internally. Yeah, but yet on the back of the damn box, it says and I’m quoting this from the literal back of a box of a vibrator. This product is sold and should be used as an adult novelty only and should never be other than for external use. It should not be used on a prolonged or frequent basis. It should not be used on swollen or inflamed areas or near skin lacerations. No medical claims are warranted or implied by the use of this product. Well, first of all, I don’t know anybody that’s ever used a vibrator for medical reasons since I don’t know the 50s when it was used to cure what hysteria and women and I wish they still had that service. I’m just saying, right? Just go to the doctor everyday like crazy. Well. I think you could probably use it but the thing that really pisses me off about this is you compare that to like we vibe and who we love and we all have we vibes toys, our body safe, by the way, and legitimately body safe now they don’t just say it because they’re made of 100% medical grade silicone and abs.
Mallory Gordon 21:53
Yes. Which we’ll get into the differences of all of that. But the first one that you just read from there’s like these huge bullet points in front of it. And I love that it says external stimulation only safe for anal use.
Mickey Gordon 22:06
Yeah, it’s like literally Are you gonna vibrate the outside of your bubble? Okay, yeah, external use only but safer Angel. Hmm, yeah, it they’re contradictory out the ass pump no pun intended as safe for all materials. Hmm. skeptical. It is oral says it’s absolutely something we should be skeptical of. And something that we should be thinking about on an ongoing basis. But we vibe as I was getting ready to say their disclaimer is one sentence sold as an adult novelty only not for medical use. So what’s with all the medical use stuff? We’ll get into that in just a second. But, you know, these guys are all putting these disclaimers in their, in their directions on the back of their boxes. And I think that that maybe should terrify the shit out of us. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 22:54
I think a little bit, it makes me want to continuously make that effort to do research as we’re adding products in it. But you know, selfishly, and obviously, I need to do that on a regular basis. I’ve had bags, and I’m not going to lie because I like trying new sex toys. sex toys are a big part of our lives personally. And I’ve I’ve thrown away I don’t know how many so far just because you know, there’s there’s certain it’s certain composition or they’ve aged out I learned that it aged out. They do you shouldn’t own them after X amount of time. They’re made out of Yeah. So it’s just fascinating in in this is, obviously this is a little agnostic, but you know, yes, we’re swingers. Yes, sex toys are part of our, you know, non monogamy and our sex life on that side of the fence, but also our vanilla lives. Yeah, they definitely are. And I guarantee I don’t care how long you’ve been doing this for there’s probably a ton of people that don’t know this shit. And it’s fucking scary.
Mickey Gordon 23:59
Yeah, it’s utterly devastating when you realize that you’ve been putting something that’s potentially causing you illness and harm inside your body. Yeah, well, I’ve been doing that with booze for a long time, but different story. Now, you know, I think these people do this for a reason, though. And kind of looking over all the different manufacturers and some of the boxes that we have laying around here. They all generally have some form of disclaimer on them. And I kind of think it’s like those when you look at swinger profiles. Sydney University bullshit that everybody puts at the bottom of their profile, and it makes us laugh so hard, because it’s a total crock of shit. It means nothing. It stops nobody from doing anything. And I dare any of you to go find the Sydney University study that supposedly kicked all this off. Good luck. It’s not there. It’s not out there.
Mallory Gordon 24:50
Regardless of whether it exists or not. I have not done my research. I just laughed because it was so prolific, especially like three to five years ago. Oh, yeah. And it’s still out there though. I Had to wonder, I have to wonder if it was some sort of social experiment.
Mickey Gordon 25:04
I don’t know what it was. But I know that everybody did it because everybody else did it. And that’s the same reason the sex toy companies are putting this disclaimer on.
Mallory Gordon 25:11
It’s the new version of like the email chain letters, kinda, but share this with 10 people or your hub bad luck for a year.
Mickey Gordon 25:18
Well, it also has to do with the Harmonized System codes, which I know what this is because I own a store where we sell things, but what it is, is when you import a product into the country, you have to assign it a harmonized code, and that harmonized code depends on your import tariff rate, or your import tariff depends on your harmonized codes rather, yeah, but what octave is it in? Sorry, I just can’t if you. The point is, you may have to make sure you don’t classify as a medical device because if you do classify as a medical device, then the FDA is up your ass and you have lots of testing and in sort of stuff that would really run it because maybe it’s intended to be up the ass. And they may be so
Mallory Gordon 25:57
anyway, so let me ask you this. What is a body safe sex toy?
Mickey Gordon 26:05
That depends on who you ask. Well, I’m asking you. Oh, alright. Below, we actually have a pretty simple definition for body safe sex toys. Okay, what is body safe sex toys are non toxic, non porous. Toys used to help you reach orgasm. Okay, we’re pro long sex
Mallory Gordon 26:24
and zero known carcinogens. Yeah. Which we’ve learned that there are toys out there composted material that I have known carcinogens in them. Absolutely. I know. Cue the siren. Right. Like, Red Alert, bitches. Scary.
Mickey Gordon 26:41
Very scary. I did it. I’m gonna throw punches. I got to use a sound anyways. Alright, anyway. So how does the industry define it though? The industry defines it literally how the fuck ever they want?
Mallory Gordon 26:57
How the fuck is that possible? Because Is it because they don’t have those gates they have to go through for medical use. And they the assignment this novelty classification and kind of gives them carte blanche.
Mickey Gordon 27:08
Yeah, kind of. So again, kind of going back to that idea that the industry does whatever everybody else is doing. So there’s a thing that we’re going to talk about here in a few minutes. But it’s called Valley. It’s now Valley. It’s they are and we’re gonna talk about again more later. But they’re plasticizers. They make certain rubbers more lifelike and more flexible, specifically, things like PVC that are not normally that way. I used to do plaster size back in the 80s. It’s not an exercise goddamnit. Sorry, anyway, because they want to avoid being classified as medical devices, because then they’d have to deal with, you know, all the fees. That’s why they dance around this stuff. They just kind of do whatever they want, because they’re not medical devices. Okay. But being a medical device and a novelty are two very different things. They’re just not the same.
Mallory Gordon 27:56
Well, obviously. And I think, like I said, maybe that gives them the ability to, I guess, promote and market it without having any additional information or disclaimers around it. And it can’t be cheap to go get a medical certification for a device, right? No, it’s like you have to do that for like, if you invent, you know, a new dialysis machine, or machine that does it better, you would have to go through that process.
Mickey Gordon 28:26
Yes. And it’s extremely expensive and takes a really long time, which means time to market goes up, cost of materials goes up, the quality of goods would stay really high, but your choices would go down.
Mallory Gordon 28:37
So you’re telling me if I got a medically certified vibrator, it would cost me approximately as much as a new car.
Mickey Gordon 28:45
Pretty much. Okay. Well, and because insurance companies would then get involved, right, because it’s a medical device and all kinds of bad things would happen. So they don’t want to be classified as medical devices. So they dance around the issue. Oh my god, can you
Mallory Gordon 28:56
imagine if they had like disclaimers like Big Pharma does on like, like some new pills that are coming out there. They’re trying to get their, you know, money back. And the disclaimer, you know, it’s the auctioneer. At the end. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 29:07
but most of these companies actually defined body safe is being fairly free. And in the case of lubricants, organic repair and free, so they’re just kind of taking a couple of things that people know or are easily found information about bad things like parabens or phthalates. parabens would be in lubricants, by the way, but and phalates would be in things like dildos and vibrators. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 29:30
but it’s kind of the same thing as like cigarettes having to leave with like, no additives. Well, it’s
still fucking bad for you. Well, that’s
Mickey Gordon 29:37
kind of exactly where they went with this. Right? So some of these guys are even labeling their products with things like FDA approved materials. What does that shit? What does that mean? Well, what it means is that it’s a bullshit way of making it look to your average person, like it’s been approved by the FDA. And the reality is, it hasn’t it’s just a shit they made it out of is approved for Certain uses by the FDA.
Mallory Gordon 30:02
Okay, which I totally get because I’m still the girl that looks in the back of the toothpaste box and the back of the toothbrush to see if it’s approved by the American Dental Association. Because for whatever reason in my head, that means it’s okay.
Mickey Gordon 30:15
You watch Home Alone one too many times. No, he totally did that. Remember, he walked up to the front of the pharmacist with the toothbrush as this toothbrush been approved by the American Dental Association?
Mallory Gordon 30:26
who’s watched it too many times now? Oh, yeah. busted. Gotta he quit. You know what I mean, though, it does give you like this false sense of confidence. And would I be fast forwarding to the one time use only part of the conversation? No, no. So if it’s FDA approved, or we were talking about, like these medical devices, or like certain materials, even if it’s FDA approved, it may only be approved for one time use only?
Mickey Gordon 30:53
Well, yeah, cuz I mean, for example, TP and TPR, which we’re gonna talk about those aren’t a minute, are approved by the FDA for certain uses. But it wasn’t always wasn’t one of them. Yeah. catheters is a great example. catheter tubes are TPR.
Mallory Gordon 31:04
Yeah. And you don’t that you don’t see hospitals like sanitizing as we’re using them. Yeah, they just spit on it, put it back in there. For the same person rub some dirt on it up? Oh, I get what you’re saying. Like, it totally makes sense. But it’s still a little misleading. No,
Mickey Gordon 31:19
it’s a lot misleading. It really is. And, you know, honestly, body safe is a tough term. Right. So I was talking with one of the people I know at a very prominent sex toy manufacturer. And he actually had a lot to say about the subject. He said, You know, one of the biggest challenges they have as a manufacturer is that the word body safe automatically tells people in their mind that if it isn’t body safe, it must be body unsafe. Because we really haven’t defined what body CIF is the way that I defined it earlier. So if it’s not that it must be unsafe. And the reality is, it’s not if you use it once. Right, TP and TPR are fine one time.
Mallory Gordon 32:00
Yeah, but you say I just spent $20 and I still do, you’re not gonna use it once. You’re gonna use it multiple times, probably, you know, like, I think instinctually. That’s the whole intention, like who buys a jelly Dong. And with the intention of using it one time, well,
Mickey Gordon 32:18
and jelly dongs may actually not even be safe one time, because they’re really bad. Correct. So when we’re talking about TP and TPR, that may not be a jelly dunk. So we’re going to cover that here in a few minutes. But the reality is just because something is not necessarily body safe, it isn’t necessarily body unsafe. It depends on how you use it, how long you use it, and how you care for it. So the short answer on this is, if the product is something that is not a medical grade silicone, or some of the other things we’re going to talk about here in a few. You need to clean it as well as you can. But keep in mind it’s a porous material, we’re going to talk about what that means in a second. But and uni clean as best you can keep it away from other toys, and get rid of it after no more than 68 months.
Mallory Gordon 32:57
That still seems like a long time. So my thought is was I used to put condoms because I thought I was super, super, super sensitive right down there. So my answer was, I’m just gonna put a condom on it. And there weren’t happened at least half the time. Didn’t really help all that much. And the condom would fucking break or disintegrate especially around the base where the ring is. Oh, yeah. Where the ring is? Yeah. Like I would just
Mickey Gordon 33:24
say and half what Mallory’s talking about here, guys, is that a lot of these toys, particularly TP TP are in PVC. In particular, PVC is really bad about this. They actually bleed oil. And they bleed coloring that was actually used in the process of making the toy.
Mallory Gordon 33:42
And is that just naturally what it does? Or is it because of the reaction it has to the latex condom? No, they just do that naturally.
Mickey Gordon 33:49
If you leave it in the drawer for a while, I remember picking them up and notice that they’re slick. Oh, touch.
Mallory Gordon 33:52
Oh, yeah. did almost. I almost thought they were melting. They worked really? Well. I didn’t know that was a real thing. I thought maybe I didn’t care for it properly. Maybe I did something wrong in the sanitization process. Or like, do you remember when the two like melted together and like our heads were touching and now it was just one large unit screwed up double ended dildo with the balls on the ends. Yeah. And then the drawer I open the drawer and it was a high, high chemical smell like I didn’t know what had happened I knew wasn’t good. So they automatically went in the trash. But I don’t think I was smart enough at the time to go, hey, maybe that shit is a bad idea. Well, that
Mickey Gordon 34:29
stinks. should tell you something’s wrong right out of the gate number one. But you know when we’re talking about putting condoms on on dildos, oil is a bad thing for latex. So if you’re gonna put a condom on a toy that you suspect is not body safe. Make sure it’s not a latex condom. Because latex and oil are a bad mix, which is why they tell you not to use oil based lubricants like coconut oil with latex condoms because within minutes, that fucker will snap.
Mallory Gordon 34:56
Yeah, it’s literally degrades the material out exponentially over time. Yeah. So every second every minute that goes by, it’s multiplied and exponent
Mickey Gordon 35:07
Yes. And it will snap, it will break, it will split up the middle, the end will come off all kinds of bad things up and then you have babies while babies. I don’t know. Oh, well, I meant. But anyway, if you are going to use a condom on a toy, make sure it’s a non latex condom. A good example of a non latex condom that is semi affordable would be skin by lifestyles used to be the number one condom in the lifestyle before unique condoms came along, before we started pushing unique, and everybody that tries unique throws their skins away, but keep those skins and use them on your shitty sex toys.
Mallory Gordon 35:43
There you go. What are those made out of their non latex poly? ethylene? polyethylene? Yeah, I had to think about that for a second. So let’s talk about these unsafe materials. And how do we know what it is? Because you mentioned TP you’ve mentioned CPR, PVC? Can we kind of run down the list? And yeah, give these kids a quick education?
Mickey Gordon 36:06
Yeah, we’ll do it quick. So we’re not going to spend a huge amount of time and I know I wrote a title. Can I try to?
Mallory Gordon 36:12
Can I try to pronounce the names of these? Okay, because I’ve just I’ve just heard him by the acronym. Let’s
Mickey Gordon 36:18
start with the big one, which is TP This is probably the most commonly used material, insects toys because of its cost.
Mallory Gordon 36:26
Oh, this one’s scary. It should be okay. Well, both, for me, saying the name and then the description. But I’ll just say the name. Good luck. This is thermoplastic elastomer,
Mickey Gordon 36:36
that is TP. Now thermoplastic means that it melts when it gets hot, and it gets hard again when it cools, which is actually like water. Yeah, right. Sorry, Jesus. No, actually, it’s actually a really easy way to tell if your toy is actually silicone or not. If you hold it to a flame and it melts. I don’t want you to sit your fucking sex toys on fire. No, I’m just saying that it’s an easy way to tell if you’re if you really suspect that it’s not silicone and it said it was silicone. If you hold it near open flame and it starts to melt, then yeah, it’s not silicone because silicone won’t do that.
Mallory Gordon 37:10
Alright. So now responsible for anything you do at your home. And if you do try to let your deltas on fire and they do not mountain catch fire and burn down your house, we are not liable.
Mickey Gordon 37:19
That was in the disclaimer in the beginning. Okay. We are not professionals at anything. So
Mallory Gordon 37:23
Are any of these types like FDA approved?
Mickey Gordon 37:25
Yeah, actually, there’s two types of TP that are FDA approved for single use applications in medical applications. So things like again, catheter tubes, okay, but the thing of it is, nobody says what type of TP they use to make their dildo it just says there’s more than one type. Oh, yeah, it was like 59 different types of mean two of them are medical grade. So when you tell me I didn’t say medical Laurie Switzer said medical grade. Oh, I thought you were talking about like Star Wars shit over there. Who’s the nerd now? Hey, I never home anyway, the reason that tip is bad because we really haven’t covered why it’s bad. Why is porous? It means that it contains little itty bitty holes that your biological material inside your vajayjay or your booty hole will pile up inside of they’re just gonna
Mallory Gordon 38:15
say like, I don’t care how much prep work you do. And the back door. There are still microscopic poop in there.
Mickey Gordon 38:24
There is and it will get in the holes and you can’t stair rise it out. You can boil it out. You can’t toy cleaner it out.
Mallory Gordon 38:31
Yeah, it’s there. It’s bad. And once it’s been your booty hole, your booty hole goes everywhere with that toy now,
Mickey Gordon 38:37
pretty much, which is why and again, some of these toys will actually stain from anal use. Oh,
Mallory Gordon 38:43
that’s a good notation. If you’ve ever had a toy dildo, a prostate massage or a butt plug any of those things that have stained stained, it’s bad. Yeah, yeah, get it out.
Right away. Throw it away.
Mickey Gordon 38:56
Yep. It’s not good. But so long term use of TP can lead to bacterial growth illness. Right now, it’s unusual for thalys to be in twice today. But that can cause chemical burns and soreness. It can change its coloring. Right. But TP is extremely common in male sex toys.
Mallory Gordon 39:15
And why do you think that is? And is it still dangerous for male sex toys? Like for example, caulk rings,
Mickey Gordon 39:22
cock rings? Pretty much no cock rings are fine. Because it’s external use? Yeah, it’s external. You’re not putting it inside your body. Okay. All right. But some things like masturbation sleeves pretty much okay, depending on what it is, right? I mean, if it’s a masturbator that’s, you know, shaped like Sasha Gray’s asshole and you’re pounding it with impunity, and you don’t have a I would say that’s not something that you would necessarily want to use long term.
Mallory Gordon 39:50
I think it’s one of those be aware and proceed with care. Yeah, but now that you know, like, it’s one thing to say. Yeah, it’s probably okay. But we don’t know. We’re not doctors. We’re There’s really no studies from that’s another thing we noticed all of the a lot of this has been for essentially female use, but you can apply it to but stuff which does translate to our male but stuff fan listeners out there, but like for external use, like masturbators Cockerill things like the ball slings like all of that it’s actually really common to be in those products. So, from that perspective, it’s not insertable into soft tissue and direct to your bloodstream. No, it’s it’s superficial at that point. So if it bothers you, and now, you know, you know, maybe worth looking into other alternatives, there are
Mickey Gordon 40:41
toys out there that are made out of TPP. That’s not 100%. So sleeves was a jelly toy. Yeah, bad. Yeah. Yeah, any and so if it’s going to in your ass, it’s got the same thing, same issues that if it goes in a woman’s vagina, or her ass, just don’t do that, right. I mean, it’s, it should be a good quality toy. And you should get rid of it. If it’s a TP or TPR, or any of the other materials we’re about to talk about. Replace it every few months. Now. Here’s the last thing. She’s talking about double hell double headed dildos for a minute.
Mallory Gordon 41:13
One of my favorite things to play with when I’m having my girl time.
Mickey Gordon 41:18
Yeah. Which is effectively guaranteed sharing of a sex toy. Yep. No matter what you do. Yeah, I know. Yeah. And double headed dildos have a lot of material to them right there. I mean, they can be between 12 and 18 inches long. Generally speaking, that’s the link for a double headed Dodo. And double headed delta is because they have that much material. They’re very expensive, which is why they make them out of this cheap shit TP TPR material. More often than not, I went through and deleted 270 of them from the store. Yeah.
Mallory Gordon 41:48
And it’s a good point. Because like, even with condoms, you’re still in a lot of ways. Girl and girl, your fluid bonding,
Mickey Gordon 41:54
right? You’re running your junk against each other. Like historically 15 years and lifestyle maybe happened twice? Yeah, maybe. And it’s been a long motherfucking time. But if you don’t intend to be fluid bonded with somebody, don’t share a toy with them. Or if you’re going to do something like sharing a toy like a double headed dildo, make sure that it is a good quality double headed dildo, like a dorsal which is silicone, or even the fuse products where you can make your own double headed dildo with the two suction cup delta delta is it go together and the balls are in the middle and that keeps you from rubbing your junk together. That’s like Legos for China. It’s awesome. So good. Yeah, I will anyway, so other materials, what else you got?
Mallory Gordon 42:35
Um, so tell me about you mentioned TPR which is thermoplastic River. That was easy.
Mickey Gordon 42:42
Yeah, right. It’s pretty much the same thing is TPR it’s just a different variety. Everything that we just said applies the major major thing you want to look for is that is they’re saying at least saying to you that it’s Valley free. You know that valley is going to be in these rubbers and definitely in PVC and a lot of cases unless of course they say that it’s not but that’s what they use to make it soft and lifelike. So it’s not hard
Mallory Gordon 43:06
I’m gonna put you on the spot because we said valid a few times can you actually spell it because it doesn’t? It doesn’t spell like it sounds No, it’s
Mickey Gordon 43:13
actually PHTHAL 80 Okay, and it doesn’t it doesn’t come off the lips the way that you think it does. But you know it’s it really validates again are not something that’s in sex toys often today not back and like as late as recently as 2015 lots of toys had it Yeah. So things have changed Rhys marry my stories.
Mallory Gordon 43:37
Yeah. Which is funny because like the shampoo I use is paraben free, and I’ve been paraben free for probably eight to 10 years easily and now I’m just looking at the stuff I’ve been putting in my fucking vagina. Yeah, it’s just It’s surreal
Mickey Gordon 43:51
and nothing like starting a sex toy company to realize that everything you’ve been doing is wrong for the last you know 25 years but
Mallory Gordon 43:58
yeah, anyways whatever we pulled back the curtain we’ve seen the Wizard of Oz and all his glory he was masturbating. Yes, he was furiously. So let’s talk about PVC which is poly vinyl chloride
Mickey Gordon 44:10
PVC is to me probably the second scariest way
Mallory Gordon 44:13
so when I think of PVC I think of the like white plastic pipes you get at like the home goods like the home store like the Lowe’s the Home Depot’s the aces the true value pretty much
Mickey Gordon 44:22
shut because it’s more or less the same thing. Are you fucking serious? Yeah, it’s just a softened version of it. So PVC stands for polyvinyl chloride. Vinyl chloride actually is widely known as containing carcinogens and off gassing dangerous materials
Mallory Gordon 44:37
of carcinogen it literally has cancer in the name. Yeah, like, That’s fucking scary.
Mickey Gordon 44:42
Yeah, PVC is awful. And there’s so many toys made of PVC. In some ways, they they put PVC in and because it’s pretty easy to make it stiff. So you’re really really really big dongs like you’re oversized like 14 and like the King Kong. Oh, yeah. Huge. Okay. Those are very often PVC. And a lot of times some of the manufacturers out there doc Johnson’s one of them just and I know I said I was going to call it a bunch of names, but they do something they call it sabse, which is a chemical coating that they put on it to minimize the PVC. Oh, and the sebs is bad too. So it’s awesome. It’s just not good.
Mallory Gordon 45:20
Right? Well, and so when you mentioned off gassing what does that mean is that a chemical reaction is is just natural.
Mickey Gordon 45:28
as it ages it just releases gases and oils.
Mallory Gordon 45:32
So naturally, like disintegrates, like it shrinks. It shrinks as it shrinks the gases that are naturally inside of it because it probably has these teeny tiny little microscopic bubbles bubbles in there and they hop and degrade
Mickey Gordon 45:45
well in those little bubbles also, because PVC is extremely porous,
Mallory Gordon 45:48
and that’s where the carcinogens live pretty much scary.
Mickey Gordon 45:53
Yeah, it’s it’s not good. Now again, not all PVC is like this right? Because you’ll see some people that will say, made of body safe PVC thali free vinyl free. Right? And it’s may be, but it’s still porous. So it’s still bad. Okay. All right. At the end of the day, porous bad, no matter what else that they say. If it’s porous, it’s bad.
Mallory Gordon 46:16
Yeah, just remember that it collects all the microscopic debris and there’s no way you can clean it out.
Mickey Gordon 46:21
And there’s somebody out there that’s going to put that 14 inch giant dog up there. But
Mallory Gordon 46:25
yeah, and I’m sorry for all the germaphobes out there like myself, you’ll never be the same again. Right? So you mentioned vinyl. So are they because I think vinyl and I think like the wet look outfits.
Mickey Gordon 46:39
Yeah, yeah, vinyl has a lot of the same potential issues is PVC. vinyl is usually used in combination with other materials. So it can be PVC and vinyl or TPR and vinyl. There can be a lot of times that vinyl is part of the mixture that goes in because vinyl soft so but vinyl is also porous and bad. Okay,
Mallory Gordon 47:01
so you mentioned subs and that was again what the chemical just
Mickey Gordon 47:05
the chemical that they use and it’s so almost every one of these companies has some bullshit name that they like cyber skin or real skin or sexy skin and I’m making these up, but it’s they’re they’re all basically names for their material. So they don’t have to tell you what they made it out of. Hmm. Interesting. So if they say that if they don’t say medical grade silicone, and they say but it’s made with Mickey skin. Yeah, then I have not been skinned alive to make your toy. It is definitely something you probably don’t want your body I’d fuck me. Well, I don’t know they might want me your body.
Mallory Gordon 47:44
Yeah, lies and that was my best Wild Bill impression because we said skinning you I don’t know now I have to watch silence lambs. It puts the lotion on its skin now I did find something and I thought it may be okay. And then like just having this conversation. Something that was a silicone blend. Made with silicone. It okay if it
Mickey Gordon 48:05
says silicone blend, it’s not silicon. Okay, it’s just it’s not it says so we’re gonna blend. It’s actually some bullshit to actually be kind of like silicone. Bad and actually the thing that’s the worst to me the one that is like the worst is jelly, anything.
Mallory Gordon 48:22
Oh, hands down and looking back I feel I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that predominantly early on especially a good portion of my toys were jelly because the texture and the weight I think and the cost was definitely a deciding factor for me. Yeah, and those are the ones I had a ton of issue with. Like I said I even had a butt plug like double headed dildos my favorite regular dildo and it I just can’t believe that it didn’t occur to me that it wasn’t me that was the problem it was actually what I was using. Oh yeah. And I’m I’m thankful that I never got sick from it because you can get seriously ill like you said the bacterial infections that could be caused by these and the off caffeine and like I said the melting together they have like a chemical reaction just sitting in your drawer completely dry. Even unused maybe you just took it out of the pack and they’re slick to the touch and you pick them up it is they feel like they’re melting
Mickey Gordon 49:29
literally well the funny thing is when you take it out the package you think oh this must just be what they coated it with at the factory I’ll just clean it or or there was actually
Mallory Gordon 49:36
or that I got hot in the door now like mysteriously warm specifically in that one drawer in this one room at a specific given time. So this is this was the shit out of our listeners. Are you going to talk about his experiment? so dangerous
Mickey Gordon 49:50
currently did this experiment another shout out to her cuz she’s freaking amazing. But she did this experiment where she filled a jar with her jelly toys and she put it in a climate controlled environment in the dark, she did not put it in the sunlight, she did not subject it to heat. And she just let it sit. And I’m gonna put a link to this in the show notes. I want you guys to see this. It was terrifying. What happened with these toys, how they glued themselves together and just oil pouring out of them. Within five months, the jar was full of oil just slammed full of the oil that came out of these toys. They are so incredibly unsafe. So if you see a toy that looks like a jelly toy, I’m just gonna say this right now. Just ditch it. And silicone By the way, just so you know body safe silicone medical grade silicone is never ever ever clear. Never Never. It’s always either colored or cloudy. Yep. So if it’s milky, it could be silicone look at your box, check with your manufacturer or Chuck and make sure you get one that you know that is
Mallory Gordon 50:50
and any manufacturer that does have a silicone toy, they will say 100% silicone, or medical grade silicone. Yeah, they they do like, you know the palm palm, you know, fist pump in the air when it that is the materials they use. Yep. So it takes some research, kind of like when you’re looking at nutrition facts and trying to figure out how many carbs something has. Same thing with the back of these boxes and the descriptions. You got
Mickey Gordon 51:15
it and anything basically from Amazon or Ebay or Alibaba is or AliExpress or probably bad. Almost all of the toys that those guys sell that are not brand name toys that are clearly labeled, as having been made for medical grade silicone or medical green stainless are bad.
Mallory Gordon 51:34
Yeah, well, and we also learned that there is a secondhand market out there, which I didn’t know about this for sex toy. This is great that well, you know, I’m not gonna ask somebody else’s Yum, but it does give you less line of sight to what the composition is, like, I germaphobe I’d be very fucking hesitant and probably 100% never would purchase something secondhand in like eBay or whatnot. No, because you just don’t know. And it just in my head doesn’t feel right but at the same time another reason not to is because you don’t know unless they give you the brand name exact and then you’re trusting the seller. You know? I don’t know I would. I would be highly skeptical should be
Mickey Gordon 52:21
well, no, we’ve scared the shit out of you guys. Now at this point, guys. Hey, welcome to a Great sexy time with Mickey and Mallory casual swinger. Yeah, sorry for the dog shit out of you guys. But I do think that we should at least tell these guys. What are some CIF materials? I know we’ve talked about medical grade silicone at nauseum but what else?
Mallory Gordon 52:38
You told me that ABS plastic yes is something What is that? It’s It’s
Mickey Gordon 52:44
It’s a hard plastic that doesn’t off gas. it’ll melt like a motherfucker vCenter on fire. So don’t do that. But it’s the hard part of those good toys. ABS plastic is very so late does not off gas. Does
Mallory Gordon 52:54
that equate to like the spine of some of those other ones? It’s that same material. Okay. It’s the hard plastic part of it because I just got myself or actually Bless you. I love you to pieces. I mentioned double ended dildo in solving that problem. And like you said, you know, the two and the balls are in the middle. There’s a manufacturer that makes them that is silicone and then has that material inside. So the complete structure is safe.
Mickey Gordon 53:18
Yes. Love it. Yeah, you just got a whole bunch of new toys as a result of this show as a matter of fact, but how about medical greens medical grade stainless steel.
Mallory Gordon 53:28
So this is interesting because stainless steel does not mean medical grade stainless steel correct. You
Mickey Gordon 53:33
don’t have cheap stainless just buy something from Lowe’s, you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about. Yeah.
Mallory Gordon 53:36
And you You taught me this I I guess I maybe knew in the back of my head but it was a great reminder that medical grade stainless still will not respond to BACnet No, it won’t. And it doesn’t help you when you’re looking online. But again, most online manufacturers that you’ll find online that do you use medical grade, we’ll advertise it. Yeah, good. Enjoy and enjoys high quality shit right there. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 54:02
and honestly, you can actually get kind of the same effects out of aircraft grade or marine grade. They’re both they’re all kind of the same. Just the thought of aircraft grade Yeah, I know but that’s why medical grades better but they’re similar and their function and their reaction so you may see that and that’s fine but medical grade is how you want to see it described. Here’s one that I think is kind of nuts, stone and ceramic.
Mallory Gordon 54:27
Okay. I don’t know that I can name a stone or ceramic toys off the top of my head educate me marble, like my mortar and pestle. So I could mass rate with my
Mickey Gordon 54:39
pesto 100% is what was the marbles good because it’s a non porous, it’s a non porous rock. It’s an unforced stone. Really, but when we talk about you know, cuz you’re not I mean a porous stone is going to be rough to the touch. You’re not going to stick in
Mallory Gordon 54:49
ceramic goes through a process that hardens it and makes it non porous.
Mickey Gordon 54:54
It usually gets a coating on it as well in that coating makes it smooth. See ceramic is porous by its nature. I Once you went about that, yeah, well, it’s the the coding is kind of everything we talked about ceramic and we talked about wood. Okay? Are you gonna judge me if I take a ceramics class or make adulto have a great time. Right But once that coating is cooked it’s glass at that point is which is the other one which is glass glass is good to go.
Mallory Gordon 55:19
Yeah, glass is easy to sanitize. I mean, you know, you have to be careful obviously, don’t drop it on your tile floor and you know, don’t do squats while it’s inserted. Because you know, accidents happen. Right? But yeah, it’s easy. It’s super easy to sanitize.
Mickey Gordon 55:35
So stone, ceramic glass, and of course, wood But hey,
Mallory Gordon 55:38
okay, fuck off. You listed this and I want to call bullshit on it would, huh? Watch for splinters? Yeah, like,
Mickey Gordon 55:46
I’m kidding. So wood has to be coated. Right? And so depending on what it’s coated in will depend on how and whether it’s bodies. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 55:53
like, like, if you like make your own Delta at home and put like straight lacquer on there’s probably not okay.
Mickey Gordon 55:59
Correct. It’s probably not and also the things you also have to be careful because acrylic for examples watersoluble wash off with your pussy. Yes, so acrylic is not good either. Don’t make your own sex toys out of wood. Right? Let’s just fuckin say that right now. Don’t do that, guys. I mean, it’s it’s a thing. So there are some very high quality wood toys out there that are finished with body safe material and I have to do some research. I find that five fascinating so I’d love to know what they coat it with and what the process is and like what the applications are. Now in my head I obviously I divert to dildo because I don’t know dildo seconds. Got it. Oh my god. What? That’s, that’s your porn name. Anyway, anyway, so I don’t want to go into brands. Okay, that make you know, body safe toys. I was gonna make one.
Mallory Gordon 56:47
I was just gonna ask you that because there are a lot of manufacturers. And some of them are all you know, they pride themselves on being mostly are all body safe. And some of them kind of split the difference. Some of them are some of them aren’t.
Mickey Gordon 56:58
Well, some of them are hell bent on it. Right like tantas and fuse are hell bent on it. Yeah, that’s all they do.
Mallory Gordon 57:04
Yeah. And blushes and as is one. I mean, she’s got some they have not the whole product line, but a good portion of it. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 57:11
they have a townie butt plug. I’m like, Are you fucking kidding? You have all these great products and you have a teepee.
Mallory Gordon 57:15
So again, buyer beware. Now, as this applies to men and women, I think we mentioned it a little bit, but I just like to reiterate what are the implications? You know, as far as insertable versus topical, like, again, be aware? Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 57:34
I think it you have to look out for yourself, right? I mean, it’s your body. You need to know what you’re comfortable with. If you’re comfortable getting a non latex condom and using any old vibrator or dildo, I guess. But at the same time, you need to know you’re putting something in your body that could cause a problem. And it’s not going to like jump out of your chest like an alien or something. It’s just could cause you some irritation, and potentially some problems down the line. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 58:02
I mean, anything like, truth be told, don’t trust anything or anyone blindly. Yeah. including us. Yeah, 100%. You know, we’re not certified in anything we’ve just been learning as we go and thought it was a worthwhile share, to at least give you what we’ve learned thus far. And it doesn’t mean that it’s 100% accurate, it doesn’t mean that we’ve covered all of the bases, because there may be things out there that we don’t know just yet. But I had a little bit of a shock value. Oh, and I and I did not know or even had the wherewithal to look into potential resources for this. I, I’m, I was 1516 when I started masturbating with these things. And I’m today years old, when I’m going through and chucking out a good portion of my sex toy supply.
Mickey Gordon 58:51
Yeah, well, what it boils down to is daddy did his homework and then scared the shit out of you. And then here we are, yeah, and said we need to do an episode on this. And initially, it was just going to be something we talked about in passing. And then we realized it was going to be not only a whole episode, but a long one. Yeah.
Mallory Gordon 59:07
And you know, if we had to wrap this conversation up, you know, what advice or what are we doing to to mitigate some of this?
Mickey Gordon 59:19
Well, first things first, you know, what we would say is we are doing everything we can do to make sure that the things that you buy on casual toys are body safe, but we can’t guarantee it, it’s your body. So be careful what you put in your body. Make sure look at the package, see what it’s made out of google it go see what these guys make their shit out of, because there’s a lot of companies that go out of their way to make sure they don’t tell you what they make it out of and that should scare you by itself.
Mallory Gordon 59:43
Yeah, and a good rule of thumb you kind of get what you pay for. And I hate to say that because, you know budgets or budgets and I completely understand that but at the end of the day, if there’s this golden rule of changing them out and I know medical silicone last longer, but in my head, I feel like there still has to be something secular about it like, I probably shouldn’t have a dildo for eight years or three years or five years, not your woody don’t like snuggle, it doesn’t seem healthy, even if it’s the best model available. So in my head, yeah, I’ll pinch my pennies a little more, I’ll invest a little more upfront, to make sure that you know, I feel more comfortable with what I’m putting in my body. But also be proactive about switching that out. And a lot of people don’t talk about that. Like, think about it. Ladies, how long have you had that dildo in your drawer? Yours probably could be hard to say honestly, some
Mickey Gordon 1:00:39
vibrators are the same way soft. vibrators aren’t necessarily medical grade. So replace them often right? replace them is. And I know you know, owning a sex toy company. You guys probably think that’s self serving. I know not everybody buys from us. And that’s cool. Now I still just want you to be okay,
Mallory Gordon 1:00:55
exactly. This has nothing to do and yeah, I mean, it probably I don’t know if it sounds easy. I hope it didn’t. Because, you know, if we didn’t have the toy store, we wouldn’t know these things. And again, like I don’t even care. I talked about it with our vanilla neighbor the other day, and she was a little uncomfortable, but also grateful at the end of it. Oh, yeah. She was honest. She was like, Hey, I have one liner. Okay, yeah,
Mickey Gordon 1:01:22
it’s gone. Yeah. And you know, it’s funny as you notice, and I know you notice the same thing and so did she that it was disfigured from sitting in her drawer. And it didn’t tell her not to put it in her pussy. Because no one she just didn’t know any different but a Why don’t you let everybody know where to find us? We’ll come back here with your special box.
Mallory Gordon 1:01:41
Oh my god. I’m sorry. It was really nice. I was so thirsty. I had ice chips. Were casuals we were everywhere. I feel free to reach out to us casual swinger comm slash travel with us. By the way, if you want to see what we’re up to and you know podcast Palooza or rascals trip, you name it. We are also on social media. That’s Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and Instagram. And you can find us on the dating sites that’s w nation sec, SLS and Cassidy. That’ll do it.
Mickey Gordon 1:02:11
Folks. We’ll be back in just a second with another session of Mallory’s hotbox you’ve been listening.
Mallory Gordon 1:02:33
Hey, guys, and we’re back. Hazard smear here. I am Nikki and you’re unprofessional. I just heard I can phone ding I’m sorry. It’s all good. So especially zoom in here did e TT TT TT Mallory’s music box? My sound effects are so much better than yours. Yours are but I still like doing a special episode of Mallory’s box. Yeah, so I ended up in a music hall and it reminded me how much it’s a part of our lives and vanilla and swinger life. And it’s so fascinating how it can fit like the mood or augment it. Or change it. Right. And I absolutely love when I can immerse myself and it’s been a hot minute you get caught up in life and whatever and I don’t take the time to sit and just enjoy it.
Mickey Gordon 1:03:24
But every time you do this, our listeners get a cool new playlist. Our playlists are available on casual Springer calm. And these playlists are almost always built by Mallory.
Mallory Gordon 1:03:33
Yeah, so I do I am going to go in and I’m going to update him and add a couple of things we did did a few discoveries and like realize that there’s other genres that I really like maybe somebody else would be interested in. I don’t know. But it it’s really funny. I’m going to really draw like seven degrees of eclectic brain here. Oh boy, and how I went from some, like Nashville songwriter, all the way to Oh, I don’t know. Mmm, Ed Sheeran. How the hell did you do that? Because Where did the Nashville songwriter talking crazy so Jess and Derek are visiting. And they were at a baseball game. We got a text from them. And it kind of goes into like how they’re sitting next, this cool person. And it turns out this guy writes music. He sat in Nashville, super cool. He’s done like an ad for like West Virginia farmers market and he’s got like a couple really, really good songs in there. And it got me thinking like, wow, like there’s so much so much talent out there. Like Travis meadows, for example. He is an epic songwriter and actually had a tragedy that happened medically and is going through some things and so I kind of went down like the country Avenue and there’s a whole country covers playlist By the way, which I found fascinating to a point because it wasn’t just country singers covering other country singer songs. It was like popular songs. So is a different composition in tone. Wow. And I’m not gonna lie some of them For fucking awful, like really, really bad what started with a bad country song? Yeah, but like I stumbled on like, for instance, Sarah Evans who, for me, her popularity was probably like late 90s, early 2000s, maybe tall, beautiful woman probably had a drinking problem. But she covered a fucking Disco Song and did a pretty good job. No way. Yeah, disco was playing in the kitchen. Yes, exactly. So she covered a song by Yvonne element called If I can’t have you. The beegees also covered it in the 70s it was actually pretty pretty popular. And yeah, I absolutely had to listen to disco after that. So I went from Nashville songwriter country to covers to now disco. And you say I just want to point that out. Yeah. So I’m listening. Just go have a good time. But I keep thinking about covers. And I have a probably an unhealthy affection for cover songs. But I do like how other people interpret art, right? And then put their own spin on it. Because music is art in a lot of ways. And I landed on post malone. Who post malone you know, circles like Yeah, he’s got a bunch of kids if you honestly if you don’t fucking know who he is. We’re we have to get divorced. Because he’s kind of every one of you to describe his Teddy retos commercial leg with a tattoo of the Dorito on it. And for what I kind of love about him is you look at him, and I know we’ve all done it. You go. Yeah, he looks a little homeless. But he’s actually really fucking talented. His cover songs his acoustic songs are amazing. So I found this livestream he did and Travis Travis Barker from blink 182 was a drummer and he covered like heart shaped box and like a bunch of new rock it’s like an hour and 17 minutes long so fucking amazing. But grunge right? So he came up in this like, r&b hip hop. Maybe there’s another classification for the genre now because it’s just so fucking good. Because like, I’d put like the weekend up in there.
Mickey Gordon 1:07:11
He’s just a straight up musician. He’s not really bound by genres.
Mallory Gordon 1:07:14
Yeah. And so I actually started like skipping around and he even does music with like Keith Urban they covered an Elvis song. We’re crying out loud. Yeah, it was fucking amazing. throwback monster guitar player, but I I’m not gonna lie as much as I enjoyed listening to the song because I know Keith Urban is a really, really great guitar player. I had to watch him play like at the same time, but it was absolutely amazing. They covered baby what you want me to do. Which you have to be you may have to be an Elvis song to kind of know that it’s very bluesy. It’s probably one of my top three Elvis songs of all time. No kidding. Yeah. So again, I’m in that that whole and then I come across there’s another song with him m&m. And the weekend called eyes off you which was actually pretty catchy. Little they had a single out in 2019. Yeah, I know. You’re, you’re doing the verbal, like smile and nod. And I totally get it because I’m off on my tangent, folks. You’re welcome to tune out now. I’m about two thirds of the way there.
Mickey Gordon 1:08:23
No, I actually think it’s kind of interesting. I mean, I can see him with with m&m and I can see him with the weekend. I really couldn’t see him doing like a song with Keith Hurd. Oh, they that’s kind of out there.
Mallory Gordon 1:08:34
Yeah, they did a blue suede shoes and I can’t remember what the show that was on but it was a bunch of country singers like darious Rucker was there at the lead singer from Oh, they have the girl crush. I call it the psychopath lady song. Mm hmm. The lead singer of that band Okay, so you know who I’m talking about? What’s her name? Little Big Town Little Big Town and lead singer of that is no remember name but yeah, she’s hot though. She’s super hot and she’s got a great voice. But it was like a bunch of them up there it was it was again really fucking cool. But so I’m listening to the song and it’s the weekend and m&m and post malone. And the the video that played next and I forgot that I actually liked the song was off Eminem’s album back in 2020. with him and Ed Sheeran, and anything Ed Sheeran like I went, yeah, I read from post malone and then to Ed Sheeran, and this was really great. And then I go back to cover is because I’m a psychopath. Well, Ed Sheeran is got some amazing covers out there. Again, if if you’re just a music fan, and you appreciate everyone’s tone and composition,
Mickey Gordon 1:09:41
his covers are reimagining of the song and he just doesn’t sound like a karaoke version of the song when Ed Sheeran.
Mallory Gordon 1:09:47
Yeah, and two great examples of that are we found love by Rianna and then trap Queen by Fetty whap what Yeah, yeah. It’s a trap. Song yeah sounds like you got a listen to Ed Sheeran covered it he did a fucking great job again another it’s it was a reimagining
Mickey Gordon 1:10:09
Are you gonna send the song somewhere our listeners can find them because they just listened to you talk about your evening of music
Mallory Gordon 1:10:15
Oh I guess I’ll have to put the YouTube links in my notes and then suddenly you to put them in the show notes that sounds like a good idea so anyway Someone please help me because then I capped off the evening listening to one of my favorite quote unquote cover bands to do have originals out there is called walk off the earth. Oh, they’re awesome. What’s really fucking cool, not only the reimagine, if you like to listen and watch music, they have a very unique way of producing it. For example, they covered Old Town road, which was one of the biggest songs was it last year? Yeah. So they use change in a pan or a cup or jar. They had coffee cups. They had bells.
Mickey Gordon 1:10:57
They use a lot of non traditional things as musical instruments. Yeah, a closer Oh, yeah, they use kazoos. Yeah, well it didn’t it hits toys. Wasn’t that the one where she actually went into labor during the fall?
Mallory Gordon 1:11:08
That’s I can’t feel my face. Okay, with that weird machine thing. trillion instrument? It was I never figured out what the name of the instrument was, but and then they had like the little horns like little squeezy things like on babies toys right there. They’re just amazing. Yeah, those guys are really, really cool. Yeah. And her cover, thunderstruck. Oh my god, she’s so fucking hot. So just go watch her then because she’s smoking hot. Start with that thunderstruck, sit around and masturbate and enjoy the bad ass. So anyway, so that’s my diatribe for the evening, folks. Thanks for playing along. And I’ll try to include this in the show notes if you’re interested. And if you’re not, I don’t blame you for tuning
Mickey Gordon 1:11:46
out. No, I don’t think anyone’s gonna tune out on that because people love your playlists, and they probably want to hear what the hell you’ve discovered lately. So, you know, we’ll jump back to that segment every once in a while for you guys so you can hear what’s going on in Mallory’s head other than the sick, perverted, twisted shit that we all do on a regular basis. You know, a lot of times music is incorporated that so? Well, I think that pretty much does it for us. Do you want to say bye to everybody? Bye, everybody. Well, that was easy. You’ve been listening to an episode we called for novel use only if you guys liked what we had to say didn’t like what you had to say reach out and let us know. And if you want more information, make sure to go check out dangerous Lily’s blog site. That woman has a lot to say about this subject. She knows what she’s talking about. This has been a blast, folks. Go see you next time. You’ve been listening to casual suede. I’ll miss you.