Hotwife Hardship – It‘s Not Me, It‘s DEFINITELY You…or is it?

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Mallory’s Hotwife journey has been an interesting road already.  Hear about some of the challenges she’s faced as she gets VERY real discussing her inability to find what she wants, and dealing with one of the worst downsides of disingenuous partners…ghosting.

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Hotwife Hardship

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

fucking, people, casual, shit, gates, expectations, talk, hot, conversation, bourbon, weller, person, feel, called, whiskey, hear, bow, sex, mallory, hotwife, ghosting, sex, hotwifing, swingers, swinging, solo play

SPEAKERS

Mickey Gordon, Mallory Gordon

 

Mallory Gordon  00:08

You’re listening to the casual swinger podcast. As your hosts, we need to warn you that the material you’re about to hear may be sexual or explicit in nature. This podcast is intended for an adult audience. Now we don’t expect you to act like adults once the button that

 

Mickey Gordon  00:22

we’re a married couple living in Florida with over 13 years of experience in the lifestyle and we take almost nothing seriously. Casual speakers of variety show meaning we’ll cover everything from music to events, travel, and even the occasional hilarious screw up. Our show was about entertainment. We’re not licensed professionals had anything and her stories, commentary and guidance should not be confused the opinions of a licensed professional

 

Mallory Gordon  00:46

now that you know, let’s take those pants off and get comfy.

 

Mickey Gordon  00:55

Alright, everybody, welcome back to another episode of casual swinger. My name is Mickey.

 

Mallory Gordon  01:00

And I’m your other co host, Mallory.

 

Mickey Gordon  01:03

I think you’re really the star is perfect for this episode. You are at the

 

Mallory Gordon  01:06

start. Yeah, I’m gonna put myself out there.

 

Mickey Gordon  01:09

Yeah, a little bit. So usually it’s me throwing myself on the sword here, folks, but Mallory is throwing herself on the actual sword. The figurative sword. The pork sword,

 

Mallory Gordon  01:18

that metaphorical sword metaphorical. Okay.

 

Mickey Gordon  01:21

I don’t know. It’s whatever you call it. But this episode is called hot wife hardship. It’s not me. It’s definitely you. Or is it? Or is it I don’t know if I can fault it is we’re gonna talk about a little bit. What are we talking about? We’re talking about the fact that by definition, something should be hard in hot wifing. But not this hard. So today’s all about the beautiful Mallory and her experiences that she travels the hot way fruit and some of the knots. So awesome experience.

 

Mallory Gordon  01:46

How have a look into that in a few.

 

Mickey Gordon  01:48

Yeah, we’ll get to that a few minutes. Let’s talk about what’s new. Mallory? You want to tell these folks what the hell we got going on in the last two weeks since they talked to us last?

 

Mallory Gordon  01:56

Yeah. Well, I mean, for anyone who listened the second this is released Happy Halloween. Oh, yeah. I hope everyone had a great weekend. It was a huge swinger holiday. Right. It’s swinger Christmas. For Halloween, literally. Yeah. I’ve seen a ton of pictures from like Halloween, get togethers take over as parties. I hope everyone had a fun and safe event. Holiday. Yeah, yeah.

 

Mickey Gordon  02:19

Well, you know, I mean, now it’s I guess you guys are listening to this. It’s sometime in November. So let’s just go on with the Thanksgiving on with the turkey.

 

Mallory Gordon  02:29

I think he just said cockadoodledoo

 

Mickey Gordon  02:31

excited Turkey sounded like I can find so he just like

 

Mallory Gordon  02:40

I love that’s one of my favorite South Park episodes.

 

Mickey Gordon  02:42

gobbles is the best ever. Yes. Well, and then starving Marvin. Like with gobbles? That was just the best thing. Anyway. So on the show, Happy Halloween everybody. Hope you guys are out there having a good time. Today’s actually Halloween when we’re recording this thing. But by the time you get it, it’ll be November 1. What do we got going on? Where we go and go anywhere? It’s going ever since?

 

Mallory Gordon  02:59

Yeah, we’re going to the big deal. We mean, Dallas? Oh, yeah. Had the weekend. The big deal. Yeah, I had to pick up on a Thursday, right Thursday and a party all weekend with the Encore folks.

 

Mickey Gordon  03:09

Yeah, I’m really excited about that. We’re gonna go down to Dallas. And Mallory’s finally getting that big D she’s been looking for.

 

Mallory Gordon  03:16

Yes. That’s exactly how I envisioned it. But I’ll take it right now. With all the struggles I’ve been having, what the fuck, let’s do it.

 

Mickey Gordon  03:26

Now, it’s gonna be a lot of fun. But I think the bitch for me is that you know, the day job kind of lifted its ugly head. And so now I have to leave Dallas and go out to California. Like instead of coming home for

 

Mallory Gordon  03:35

a long time since we’ve had to part ways at it at a city like get a destination, so that’s gonna suck. But you know what I turned around. I literally dropped my bag sleep in our bed one night, and I leave for work too. So that’s true. What it

 

Mickey Gordon  03:47

  1. You’re going to the Midwest. I’m going to be on this West Coast. And I think the dogs will be back. You’re watching the boy. I don’t know.

 

Mallory Gordon  03:54

Yeah, yeah. I think that’s about right. Yeah, something along these raised himself anyways. So

 

Mickey Gordon  03:58

that’s all right. But hey, for those of you pee campers that are coming to PCAP encore Don’t worry, even though we were a late addition, we got some goodies for you. We shipped all that shit ahead of time. I want to give a big thank you to Kate not only for organizing the event, but for putting our shit together on site for us because we are not there to do it ourselves. Normally, we would have all that ahead of time, and we just didn’t. But we managed to scramble and put together a nice little goodie bag for you guys.

 

Mallory Gordon  04:22

Ray has who Ray? What else has been happening? We we had a few really big things happen. Yeah, the grand spawn is I know. Yeah. We got to meet her and she’s like the most amazing thing on the planet. Yeah, well,

 

Mickey Gordon  04:35

I mean, she’s still like borderline larval, because she’s always wrapped up and she looks like a little magnet. But

 

Mallory Gordon  04:39

no, he doesn’t see she looks like she’s been hanging out for a while. Like she looks like she came. I know. A big girl. Yeah,

 

Mickey Gordon  04:48

she’s perfect. 10 pounds. I mean, she’s huge, but she’s

 

Mallory Gordon  04:50

perfect. Like everything like checkmarks across the board. Like she’s healthy. She’s beautiful. She’s sleeping. She’s eating. She’s doing all these wonderful things,

 

Mickey Gordon  04:59

everybody They’re listening to this needs to know that this child could have a dick and balls growing out of her forehead and she would still be perfect. And Mallory’s this is true. This is true. I was just really to be this little unicorn with a horn sticking out of her forehead. Be like it’s gorgeous. Yep.

 

Mallory Gordon  05:15

100% I did it. Well, no, yeah. No.

 

Mickey Gordon  05:20

It’s funny. My daughter actually asked that we not kiss her for the first couple of weeks. I guess there’s some sort of child.

 

Mallory Gordon  05:25

Yeah, so that’s called RSV. It’s a it’s a respiratory infection. And it’s really really bad when small infants get it so she’s just taking extra precaution which I totally, totally support and even if I didn’t, it’s not my fucking good. So just be respectful.

 

Mickey Gordon  05:39

Yeah, she asked us not to, so we didn’t do it. But anyway, so we are officially like the youngest grandparents in North America or something. But it’s not because it’s fucked up. I just started young. My daughter actually made it four years longer than I

 

Mallory Gordon  05:49

am and I think there’s only 13 or 14 years between her and I. So it’s always a hoot when her and I go out

 

Mickey Gordon  05:54

places together. Sorry. Just wait till I trade you in on 220s.

 

Mallory Gordon  05:58

Best of luck. I hope you don’t have to talk to him. Sorry. Anyway, moving on.

 

Mickey Gordon  06:03

We went to see the machine.

 

Mallory Gordon  06:05

I have no machine. Yes, we did. Good to see. Bert. kreischer. Fun fact, we brought friends with us. We had tickets for the next.

 

Mickey Gordon  06:12

Oh, fuck you. You had to call me out for that on the show.

 

Mallory Gordon  06:15

I thought it was so sweet. I mean, it was an honest mistake. It happens. We rectified it. We just so happen to be able to get tickets on site the same night? Yes, we were out some money. It happens. We had a great time. We got to introduce him to you know, our friends. I think one of them had heard like one of the stories before. Yeah. And the other one had no idea. They didn’t know what they were saying. Oh, no. And I was watching. Very cool. I was watching their faces as he’s telling jokes like in anticipation. Like he’s funny shit, right.

 

Mickey Gordon  06:44

And he’s one of the funniest dudes on the planet, probably because he comes from such an honest place. And and just a place that I think we can all relate to. Is kind of like that lovable dumbass. Yeah. And I know, that’s definitely me. I’m basically Peter Griffin. But I think that he really, I don’t know. I think he just speaks to the every man and all of us, which is so great about Bert and Dave Williamson open forum who’s got a great podcast called Meet Dave, by the way. He at Dave. He’s a great comedian as well. And he does a barbecue focus podcast called Meet Dave. And if you’ve never followed Bert kreischer, and you don’t know who he is, we’ll give him an unsolicited plug. Not that the fucker needs it. But you can check him out on his Bert cast podcast. That’s B R T cast. And he’s also on two bears one cave with Tom segura. Who I don’t fucking

 

Mallory Gordon  07:30

I love Tom segura. And I love his wife, Christina V. But he’s also got like a cooking show. It’s called something’s burning that I saw a couple episodes that I’m don’t like follow it. But I think it’s kind of funny.

 

Mickey Gordon  07:39

That’s right. But we went to Berkeley had a great fucking time. And yes, I completely fucked up and took our friends to the show on the wrong night. And then I’m standing there going Well, shit. Now they’re here. They drove all the way up from Tampa. We’re in Orlando. i There’s a Shogun ready to happen. I don’t have tickets. So naturally, I walk up to the box office. And this the big fucking sign hanging across the box office is sold out. And you’re like God. So I kind of poked my head down to the window and I’m like, Alright, dude, I gotta be honest.

 

Mallory Gordon  08:08

So yeah, we’re casual swinger. So please give us it. No, I’m kidding. Yeah,

 

Mickey Gordon  08:11

right. That’s, do you know who I think I am. It is definitely not what I said. I bent down. I’m like, Look, dude, I’m the dumbest fucking human on Earth. Here’s what I did. I got these friends here that came along way.

 

Mallory Gordon  08:22

I’m trying to get my penis touched. Right? I’m

 

Mickey Gordon  08:24

hoping that both of these chicks will play with mine balls before this thing it’s over with. And you really my balls are in your hand, sir. And he’s like, Could you not? I’m like, well help. So what did he do? He went back he was it is sold out. But give me a minute. He comes back and he goes, I have a table in the balcony. He’s like getting cheap. But you can have it. I’m like, sold. And he’s like, do you want to know how much I said? Does it matter? And he said, good point. And next thing you know, I’m out a few 100 bucks. But we were good

 

Mallory Gordon  08:53

to go. Now what though? And what happened was we were unable to go the next night. So we were had became two listeners we did, which I thought was wonderful that they’d never been to a show before and had big fans and they said they had a great time. So I love that we get to give them an experience too. So that was fucking awesome. Yeah,

 

Mickey Gordon  09:08

we do have a set of listeners that became friends of ours here in Orlando. And I just messaged him. I’m like, Hey, we went to the show last night. I’ve got tickets now. What do you say? And I tell you I don’t think I’ve ever seen somebody exude that much happiness over text before.

 

Mallory Gordon  09:21

Oh my gosh, it was wonderful. We got pictures like on date night as they were getting there. Like it was just fantastic. I just

 

Mickey Gordon  09:28

got a fantastic and by the way, those same people are the previous record holders for the largest unique condom order ever. That is true. So they’re not the present record holders that belongs to a gentleman from Apex North Carolina. That’s true. Yeah, still pretty fucking cool. We’re really excited about that. Anyway, what do we do this weekend this weekend, right up until just this morning we were in St. Augustine because the beautiful Mallory took me to a concert

 

Mallory Gordon  09:53

I did I’d love like this year’s full of experiences and saw the Kenny Wayne Shepherd band and Buddy guide now keep in mind Buddy Guy As wonderful as he is among the truckers 85 years old and still getting it.

 

Mickey Gordon  10:04

Oh, yeah, and by the way, I I don’t know why I love like old black men cussing, but it’s hilarious. He gets up there and he’s like, I didn’t write the fucking song.

 

Mallory Gordon  10:13

Yeah, I was singing his thing is not about essentially trying to please a 19 year old girl and I mean, in this day and age that is so that is so not politically correct right now. And people are like, Ooh, he’s like, What the? I didn’t write that fucking song.

 

Mickey Gordon  10:25

I know. But it’s so funny in person and like he broke a string. And he was he released his shit.

 

Mallory Gordon  10:35

Fuckin incorporates lyrics and like, makes it his own. And I broke my name straight.

 

Mickey Gordon  10:40

Yeah, he actually added the verse to the song about breaking the guitar string. It was just the best stuff ever. It was so much fun. I love love, love, love, love Kenny Wayne Shepherd always have one of the best goddamn guitar players on the faces planet. Right.

 

Mallory Gordon  10:52

I was blown away. I was ready to have a good time. But I had no idea how absolutely incredible. He wasn’t like guitar and I think you hit the nail on the head. I know. You’re a huge Stevie Ray Vaughan fan. I knew who he was before I met you. But I wasn’t as invested. And I didn’t appreciate him to the degree I do today. And I can absolutely see how he mirrors or has that kind of energy. And he is, is probably the best guitar player I’ve seen live.

 

Mickey Gordon  11:18

Yeah, I mean, unless you’ve seen I’m not saying like Stevie, Steve Vai or Joe Satriani, which I’ve never seen them live them on TV. Yeah, unless you see them. I don’t know that that level of guitar playing is something you can wrap your head around,

 

Mallory Gordon  11:31

you know, and like Prince Prince was an incredible awesome. Yeah. Keith Urban John Mayer like those guys are also Brad Paisley. Yeah. Yeah, that’s actually true. Yeah, yeah. But I

 

Mickey Gordon  11:41

would consider John Mayer Keith Urban or Brad Paisley a level below. Kenny Wayne shepherd.

 

Mallory Gordon  11:47

I would just because the way he makes the guitar actually sing transcendent it is. And when he did the the Voodoo child cover. Oh, god. Yeah. That was incredible. Great. Yeah, I have goosebumps just thinking about it.

 

Mickey Gordon  12:00

It was unbelievable. And more importantly, Noah Hunt was on hand to sing for him this weekend. And that just made my weekend. Yeah,

 

Mallory Gordon  12:09

for like, if you don’t know who we’re talking about, it’s if you’ve ever heard the song Blue on black? Yeah, that’s that’s what the song they’re known for.

 

Mickey Gordon  12:17

Yeah. Kenny Wayne Shepherd, amazing guitar player. Kind of an okay singer. He’s to get it really gotten better over the years. Unbelievable guitar God. And so as part of the Kenny Wayne Shepherd band, his lead singers, a guy named Noah hunt. He wasn’t with the band for a while and they’re all back together and reunited and feel so good. And it was awesome. It

 

Mallory Gordon  12:34

was a fabulous show. You know, we are swingers we should probably talk about like Swinging sexy thing. Oh,

 

Mickey Gordon  12:40

yeah, we probably should really get to that. It’s

 

Mallory Gordon  12:43

like these motherfuckers don’t tell us anything. It’s just get on

 

Mickey Gordon  12:47

here and talk about their late, mundane as lives on the radio. Yeah, I know. Well, hey, before we jump off to that one quick thing. We do have some PCAP news coming up here in the near future right after PCAP encore. Oh, yeah. PCAP encore Kate’s gonna announce a location for podcaster palooza. 2022 So you guys know we have signed on to host at that event and it’s gonna be the biggest one yet.

 

Mallory Gordon  13:09

Yes, yes. Yes. And are we allowed to say when it is you’re not

 

Mickey Gordon  13:12

allowed to say when we’re not allowed to say where we’re really not allowed to say shit,

 

Mallory Gordon  13:16

man. This This is tough.

 

Mickey Gordon  13:18

Yeah, we’re under the gag order for watch it like I don’t have it. I know you don’t gag no matter what happens.

 

Mallory Gordon  13:24

I mean, if you spit that on Gag, it’s different.

 

Mickey Gordon  13:27

Well, I will tell you this if the last two sellouts of the last up caps didn’t tell you anything book early.

 

Mallory Gordon  13:33

Yes. It’s going to be a fabulous time. And I’ve heard to do great vine on the DL. Who else is will be joining us for this and it’s gonna be amazing. Yeah,

 

Mickey Gordon  13:40

I know. She was trying to secure all the headliners, which I don’t know how we rank that high. And I know it’s because of the three of you that listened to this show. So we love you guys. Thank you so much for for even considering us in that company. But we’re proud and happy to do it. And as usual, and as we’ve done with other PCAP events, we’re going to try to bring you something that you can’t hear here on casual swinger. That’s what we try to do for you guys is bring you guys something you can’t experience sitting in your car sitting at home. And that’s what we really try to do at PCAP. We’re going to try to do that for you at the upcoming podcast palooza. 2022 that that’s all I can fucking tell you about.

 

Mallory Gordon  14:17

Okay.

 

Mickey Gordon  14:18

Oh Tay. Alright, well, hey, what do you say we get on with the show. Maybe you tell everybody how to find us and then we come back and we talk about all the hard hard hardships you face as a hotline.

 

Mallory Gordon  14:29

Yeah, so we are casual swinger everywhere. You can find us a casual swinger calm and feel free to shoot us a note podcast at casual swinging.com. If you’d like to find us on social media, we are on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and YouTube and you can also find us leggings. Cassie W nation, STC and SLS. Oh, we

 

Mickey Gordon  14:48

go folks. We’ll be back just a hot second with hot way hardships. You’ve been listening to casual swinger.

 

Mallory Gordon  15:11

And we’re back. You’re listening to casual swinger. I’m your co host, Mallory,

 

Mickey Gordon  15:15

and I’m still that other guy, Mickey.

 

Mallory Gordon  15:19

Hi there guy. Yeah, well,

 

Mickey Gordon  15:21

you know, chilling think of something cooler. Okay.

 

Mallory Gordon  15:24

So, um, I think I’m gonna make myself a little vulnerable here. You’ve done a good job of this this season and I don’t know I feel left out maybe

 

Mickey Gordon  15:32

I will immediately be out talking about all the ways that I fall down on the job. Like hey, maybe it’s me. No, I mean you I promise. Yeah,

 

Mallory Gordon  15:40

it’s definitely yeah, it’s definitely you It’s not me 100% guarantee

 

Mickey Gordon  15:45

it but you know, that’s what I told you when you started talking about this episode. I’m like any fucking you well, but let’s

 

Mallory Gordon  15:52

hold that thought. Okay, let’s let’s talk about this some of this is going to be conscious stream of thought here so bear with me.

 

Mickey Gordon  15:57

You’re driving the bus this episode. I’m I shut the fuck up. Everybody says I talk too much anyway, no,

 

Mallory Gordon  16:01

no, I’m gonna need your assistance here to kind of paint some background and some coloring and give like your site too, because, I mean, you’re privy to pretty much everything we’re going to discuss here and then I’m going to essentially revered our listeners. So

 

Mickey Gordon  16:14

alright, guys, get ready Mallory’s about to expose herself. Just give me a trench coat without Dante’s

 

Mallory Gordon  16:20

alright. So lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my wife journey. And I know we’ve mentioned on the podcast, we’re gonna do sweaty summer and hoardings. Fuck fall, right. And frankly, as I take a step back, I’m actually concerned about my journey here. And I’m forcing myself to give it some introspection. I’m starting to see a pattern here. And it’s got me it’s got me a little, I don’t know, tepid, intimidated questioning my own decision making process. Like there’s a lot of question marks that are going through my mind. Well, first

 

Mickey Gordon  16:56

of all, when you say a pattern, we talked about the two points makes a lot of points makes a pattern. Yes, you’re starting to see a pattern where two points,

 

Mallory Gordon  17:03

essentially two points, but I have other reference points, just not at the same escalation or level as the others. Okay,

 

Mickey Gordon  17:09

so what’s the pattern? So the pattern

 

Mallory Gordon  17:11

essentially is I fuck them and they go, Oh, God,

 

Mickey Gordon  17:15

thanks for the ass piece.

 

Mallory Gordon  17:17

So get it in my head. I’m like, Does this happen to other people? Like, is it possible like cuz and I’ll give you I’ll give the listeners more background here in a second. But like, there’s a lot of buildup before we even go out. And then the sex happens. Like there’s there’s all these steps that happen before that. And I’m like, is it possible like I scared them because they caught feels? That sounds super narcissistic. And I don’t intend that to be so

 

Mickey Gordon  17:45

I don’t know that that’s impossible, though. Because especially when you when you get into talking about your dynamic here,

 

Mallory Gordon  17:50

right? So pin that one too. And also, I’m really starting to think that they’re not actually single on top of it all, which I know in at least one circumstance that was the case. Yes. Which is bullshit. But also, like, I’d be a total asshole if I didn’t go, well. Fuck, maybe it’s me. Like, maybe I had to maybe I’m a dud in the sack. No, maybe I correct. It’s everyone’s got their own. Are you playing with buttons again? No. Okay.

 

Mickey Gordon  18:22

I was just like, there’s no way like, you’re like, Am I good in the sack? I’m like, incorrect. Wrong answer.

 

Mallory Gordon  18:29

Am I good in the sack? Incorrect. Thanks.

 

Mickey Gordon  18:33

That’s you.

 

Mallory Gordon  18:34

So second, yourself tonight. You like that?

 

Mickey Gordon  18:38

I’m really bad. I have more buttons.

 

Mallory Gordon  18:42

But I mean, alright, going back to my point, I have to ask myself, What about the situation is me because that is something I can control. It

 

Mickey Gordon  18:51

  1. But honestly, it’s not fair for you to blame yourself. I mean, I I’m telling you right now you’re otherworldly in the sack, I have been with a disproportionate number of women for the average looking guy that I am. And I’m telling you, You’re unbelievable. So I know. That’s not the case.

 

Mallory Gordon  19:05

Alright, so I digress. Okay. So my point is that I’m concerned that there’s something broken here. And it’s either with me with my methodology or my expectations. And I just want to talk it out. Because I have to ask myself, essentially, what I’m looking for is a friend on the regular, and I feel like maybe I’m approaching this all wrong. Okay. So,

 

Mickey Gordon  19:30

I mean, that’s, it’s definitely a conversation you should have with yourself.

 

Mallory Gordon  19:32

Yeah. So for the listeners, what I’m really looking for is a good friend who I can have really great sex with and a friendly report. Hopefully, in the most ideal situation, I’d hope that could lead to possibilities like hanging out vanilla or participating in lifestyle activities with this person because let’s face it, your travel schedule is really amped up so there’s, there’s an opportunity there to befriend someone that could be my companion to some of these things. That would be super cool, but it’s not my my expectation out of the gate, you know, and I wouldn’t be opposed to like the girlfriend or boyfriend experience with the right person to but I’m not, I’m not leading with that, you know, I’ll leave the door open. But that’s not something like I’m pushing for right out of the gate. So with knowing that, you know, is this an unusual request, like it seeking in the hot wife scenario,

 

Mickey Gordon  20:29

I think it actually kind of is an unusual request. And not, I mean, so I think what you get on the hot wife side of the ball is easy to get kind of two kinds of guys, you get the ones that go, I’m a piece of meat, and I’m here to serve the two of you, which they throw themselves on that sword because they think it’s what they’re supposed to do. And that’s different. And then you get the other side, which is, you know, I’m going to do something for you that your husband doesn’t do, or I’m going to be a bowl and he’s a COC or whatever. And that’s not you either. So it’s kind of like, I don’t think I think this is a little bit of uncharted territory for both sides. Personally, this is my personal opinion,

 

Mallory Gordon  21:06

okay. And you know, that I’m sitting here, you know, not that labels fucking matter. But like, is this still hot? wifing, if this is a dynamic that I’m truly seeking out, because in a lot of ways, what I’m starting to guess is that, traditionally speaking, hot wifing, as I’m talking to single guys is very, very fucking transactional for them. And this adds other layers of complexity and depth to that. And maybe they I mean, that that could be the grenade that I’m throwing into the ring.

 

Mickey Gordon  21:38

Well, I again, I think there’s an expectation in their head, that of what they’re supposed to deliver. I mean, when I was playing as a single guy, it, you know, it was definitely what was expected of me that I was going to step in, I was going to do this one thing, and then I’m gonna step out none, basically, until I get a phone call that I’m needed again, I don’t bother them. And that was always weird. For me. I didn’t like it. That wasn’t something I enjoyed, which is why we don’t do that. I

 

Mallory Gordon  22:01

haven’t. But you felt that that was the expectation of the people you were sleeping with very much.

 

Mickey Gordon  22:05

Now very much insane. So when you say is it so hot, wifing. I don’t like that. Because I feel like that’s, you’re asking if the label applies to you. And here’s the thing, what you’re looking for, it might be unprecedented. Or maybe it’s unprecedented to the person you’re talking to. But everything is unprecedented. Everything is impossible until someone does it.

 

Mallory Gordon  22:25

Right. And this is the reason I ask. As human beings, we live in relation to other things. And I know no one truly likes labels. But it gives us a point of reference so that we can understand and communicate properly with each other. And I’m thinking if hot wifing isn’t the right description, if there’s something better that I can use in order to communicate with them, so that we are all on the same page, because I kind of feel honestly, like, my feelings are hurt. And like, I’m sitting here going, I was, I feel like I’m doing something wrong here. You know, and again, that could just be me trying to take control over the situation. And in some areas, maybe I don’t get that benefit. Maybe it just is what it is.

 

Mickey Gordon  23:10

Well, let me ask you, if I could do it better. I

 

Mallory Gordon  23:12

want to

 

Mickey Gordon  23:12

Yeah, let me ask a different way. Are you clearly communicating your long term interests and expectations to your partners?

 

Mallory Gordon  23:20

I include it in the conversation pretty much how I described it. But the the verbage that I use to kind of close that out, like I’m not opposed to any of this, but you know, I’m all about crawling before we walk over rotten lake. I don’t have any, you know, expectation of you. But if it’s good, and we have great chemistry and good sex, I’d love to be in and make it a regular thing. But like I’m not gonna schedule in every other Tuesday. You know, it’s 7pm either like, Okay, we all have lives. I try to be like the chill, girl.

 

Mickey Gordon  23:56

Wait, that’s what you’re looking for is basically the girlfriend without the bullshit, right?

 

Mallory Gordon  23:59

So without the added cost and responsibility. Yeah.

 

Mickey Gordon  24:02

All right. Well, I mean, and me Well, to me, I guess that puts it out and awesome. If you’ve been honest. And they’re like, Yeah, that sounds like fun. And then they then they dip, that means that they just used you and that’s not cool.

 

Mallory Gordon  24:13

Well, maybe maybe I feel like I’ve I’ve been honest and like put it out there. But maybe I’m just giving myself too much credit to I don’t I don’t know. So let’s back this truck up a little bit and explain to the listeners exactly how we get to this point. Because just vetting singles I think as we do it as a couple is very, very different. You know, I have I have a dating app that I use. That is not the traditional dating sites that we list on the podcast. You actually vet them for me there.

 

Mickey Gordon  24:49

Yeah, I bet them for you on SLS. SDC double EIGHT nation Cassidy. Yeah,

 

Mallory Gordon  24:53

yeah. So and I really liked that because it kind of insulates me from some of the Poor etiquette people have at times, oh, it’s 95% of what I get. And because here’s my penis, because I second guess myself probably more than I should. I really enjoy the fact that you have all these gates set up that I’d actually like you to go through and explain to our listeners, before they even get to me, because I feel like it leaves zero opportunity for me to make a bad choice. And it’s someone you would not approve of, if that makes sense.

 

Mickey Gordon  25:30

Yeah, I guess in a way, I mean, I suppose it’s some sort of a compliment that I’ve, you know, given somebody, at least an initial blessing, right. But it really is superficial. I mean, it’s by superficial. I don’t mean looks, or this or that or the other. I just mean, it’s just kind of a top level, like, okay, they made it through the initial gates. Now you need to decide if you’re interested. Yeah. And those initial gates, you know, for me, it’s, it’s not like I have a checklist or anything, but I do look at it, you know, is it I know that if you had to deal with most of what I deal with on there, you would be like getting the fuck away from these people? It’s true. It really is kind of sad. But you know, first of all, and I kind of look at his 10 things, which is crazy that there’s 10, there’s 10

 

Mallory Gordon  26:09

gates, kind of wow, I mean, this is not cultural

 

Mickey Gordon  26:12

gates. This is not complicated at all. No, because none of them are real. Like I said, there’s no checklist. I had to think about it. But first of all, I know you write very much better than anyone on this planet backwards and forwards, right. So I know that what you love and dislike, or no love and dislike what you love and dislike in the in humanity, okay, but I mean, like in, I can knock off a good number of folks based on the things they don’t say, in their initial interactions, more profile. Yeah. And that’s kind of what I look for, because I know what you’re trying to show me. But when I was a kid, my uncle used to shake a hand and go look at the hand, look at the hand and slap the shit out of me with the other hand. And that’s fine. Oh, yeah, all the time. And so he was a dick. But the gist of it though, is that’s kind of how I view how people treat other people. They want you to see what they want you to see. So they make sure that’s the thing you’re looking at. It’s just sleight of hand magician shit. So what I tried to do is look for what they don’t say in their profile, the less somebody has to say, the less likely we’re going to interact. Because if they just get out and go looking for fun, girl, okay, you’re done. You’re out. I don’t give a shit what you look like you can be, you know, Shemar Moore, you’re out. That doesn’t matter. Yeah. You know, which apparently is a guy that you think’s beautiful. But yes, you know, it’s it’s not about looks, but you can tell a lot about the first thing that a person shows you, right? Are they well dressed? Do they look happy? are they smiling? Or is it a picture of their dick? Honestly, if you got to picture your dick as your primary photo, you’re out by see if Alicia Have a nice day.

 

Mallory Gordon  27:35

I approve. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, by the way, I

 

Mickey Gordon  27:37

always always, always want to hang out with Lisa because she’s always going somewhere cool. Yes. But anyway. So you can tell a lot about a screen name to actually speaking of, you know, Gates. And for me, I know that what you’re looking for is not transactional, ultimately. So anybody that’s advertising their dick via their screen name, or a picture’s probably out if their dick is their best distractions not going to work. So what am I talking about? Like if their screen name is Hung? 11 inch cock. Okay, that’s all you got? Yeah, like no, you’re out or giant BBC out. Right as metric to anything BBC is out just because I feel like that’s sexualizing or fetishizing race, and I’m just against it. So if you happen to have a giant dick cool, but I think it’s something you can find out or you can allude to in a class, or more interest. I

 

Mallory Gordon  28:29

honestly feel like this is gonna sound awful. I feel like the only time we need to know how big your ticket is, if it’s on the under average sites I

 

Mickey Gordon  28:38

can make really take that off. Well, I do think like, if you if if you’re really that guy, alright, and you’re like, Okay, your name is tripod one, fine. If you’re dragging your dick in the sand walking down the beach, Mallory should probably know ahead of time. So she got there. That’s where she’s gonna do it. Anyway, she’s just gonna take Advil. But no, how about this and this one’s actually a really big one for me photographs of sex with women, or multiple women with no condom.

 

Mallory Gordon  29:10

That’s a huge one. And boom gone that we’ve actually even seen that with couples before in my mind is blown because I know it’s probably some of it may be taken out of context. But it my, my germaphobe kicks in and I’m like, apps are fucking lately. Not I know, that’s not his wife. And I know that’s the third butthole is Dick spinnin in a series of photos, and I just can’t

 

Mickey Gordon  29:30

Well, and so this brings me back to a conversation that I have with my sons. It goes back to something that my grandfather said to me about Groucho Marx, Groucho Marx said I would have no part of a club that would have me as a member, right? And so here’s my thing. If somebody looks at you and says, You don’t need to wear that condom with me, and all of a sudden in your heart, you go, I’m special. No, you’re fucking not. You’re not special. If that person will tell you it’s okay to not wear it. And it’s the first time you’ve ever had sex with them or the fifth time you have ever had sex with them. You haven’t discussed that you haven’t discussed it with their partner that you don’t have some sort of an agreement to fluid bonding with that person. There’s no fucking way you should be doing it without that condom. And if there’s 345 10 pictures of a person sleeping with somebody, that economy, they’re out. There’s two,

 

Mallory Gordon  30:15

they’re out well, and logically, what’s the difference between someone who doesn’t post those pictures and does like, because we can sense but at the same time, we should always assume that they’re playing unprotected, which is why we insist on playing protected

 

Mickey Gordon  30:31

Yeah, that’s actually one of the coolest things. I think I I heard back when I listened to the swingset. And it’s nothing against them. I just haven’t had time to listen. But they said something about I think it was actually Cooper said something about just assume that the person you’re playing with has a disease. And how would you treat it if you if you just assume that they did? And I’m like, It’s terrifying. I probably wouldn’t play at all. But I was

 

Mallory Gordon  30:55

gonna say here I show up in my sexy hazmat suit.

 

Mickey Gordon  31:00

holding a flashlight going just fuck this and we’ll pretend

 

Mallory Gordon  31:03

spraying it with Santa’s

 

Mickey Gordon  31:06

gonna spray your penis with a hand sanitizer? No.

 

Mallory Gordon  31:09

burnings normal. Oh, yeah. And only in this situation, though.

 

Mickey Gordon  31:13

Oh, my God. Okay. Anyway, how about a well written profile that includes areas of interest that are not sexual, I think that’s important for you, because you’re culturally minded, whether it’s music or art or travel, I think you’d like to see a little something out of those people. If I don’t see it in their profile. They’re out

 

Mallory Gordon  31:27

a great and I love that you call it up like, hey, this person is interested in XY and Z. And I think you’d find that really cool. Whether or not I have the current interest in it, or it would just be something to expand. My horizons

 

Mickey Gordon  31:38

are multilingual. That’s one that usually I’ll throw that in the positive checkbox list. Yeah.

 

Mallory Gordon  31:44

Or some artists have some description. Yeah.

 

Mickey Gordon  31:46

So one thing that one thing that I look for when I’m talking to these guys, is, what’s your availability? Like?

 

Mallory Gordon  31:52

Oh, yeah, this is like the interview process. Like you’ve messaged them, you guys are starting to talk to her

 

Mickey Gordon  31:56

and talk a little bit and I’ll be like, okay, so you’re not available on nights or weekends. And we’re not allowed to text you after 3pm.

 

Mallory Gordon  32:04

So I’m going with you’re married and your wife doesn’t know. 300? Alex?

 

Mickey Gordon  32:09

Yeah, that’s pretty much it. If they can’t, if there’s honestly if there’s just times, it’s preset times, they can’t talk. Everybody’s busy. Everybody’s got a life. A lot of people have kids, because you know, we’re not 19. So a lot of people have lives, and they can’t make this a part of their regular lives. Fine. But if you have like, I cannot talk after 5pm ever. I can only talk during these preset times,

 

Mallory Gordon  32:32

dude, there was a hot firefighter I was talking to, and it crushed my soul because we got along so well. And then it dawned on me and it just like the fucking light bulb went off. Because you and I were having a question or conversation. And then you posed a question and when I don’t know, so I sent him a message. And I was like, Okay, I need to know, point blank. Are you single? Are you single? And are you married? You

 

Mickey Gordon  32:52

said, Are you married? And he said, technically, technically, and I was fuck. Sorry, there’s no technically about that. That’s like, do you have legs? Lieutenant Dan? No, I don’t. Well,

 

Mallory Gordon  33:06

and here it was technically, period. No elaboration. Yeah. And I let that message sit there and fester for like, two hours. And I was just like, I’m just gonna watch. Yeah, and it was like, I think I’m wishing you the best. It’s

 

Mickey Gordon  33:19

not a turn on our dining room table. Well, technically, yes. Yeah. Oh, I don’t know. Because it’s on brand for us. No,

 

Mallory Gordon  33:26

it’s not.

 

Mickey Gordon  33:28

We go we did it again. Alright, so how about if there are travelers? Like we get a lot of this in Orlando? Yes.

 

Mallory Gordon  33:33

Okay. I think a lot of people, not a lot of people. Let me rewind that. I think it’s a missed opportunity for me in many ways to explore traditional hot, wifing dynamic. Because we live in Orlando, we get a ton of travelers, all roads lead through Orlando. Exactly. And I just can’t wrap my mind around, finding that attraction and chemistry and just going for it all in one night. I haven’t consolidated. It’s just not

 

Mickey Gordon  34:03

how you roll. And you know what, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this. This is where I see you kicking yourself in this, you know, hardship that’s self imposed. It’s okay to not want to meet somebody in bang in the same night. 99.9999. Simpsons I matter of fact, you and I don’t do that in the lifestyle. Yeah. Why the fuck would you do it in hot wifing? We are

 

Mallory Gordon  34:24

I know, it’s just I feel like maybe that there’s some like quiet, ugly little wall that I’ve built that’s prohibiting me from doing that and exploring it in that sequence. And in that timeframe, because it really is the perfect situation, especially for people traveling into town. I don’t need to do it. Right. In theory, it makes a ton of sense. And I would love the opportunity to reap the benefits of it. I just can’t mentally and emotionally get there. So it’s kind of like looking across the street as a little kid and going Wow, like that person has talent. Like maybe they’re really good at rollerskating or basketball and I’m over here like, well, she can do it. When can I? So I just can’t get through that? I don’t know.

 

Mickey Gordon  35:09

No, I think you’re right. I just I don’t think that it’s something that necessarily drives you. So last too, and then we’ll get back on with the conundrum here. But fishing pictures like when people have, and we love fishing.

 

Mallory Gordon  35:22

I do. I grew up my dad was a fisherman. Yeah, I love it when someone likes to fish because like in my head, like I could make that a sexy date, which sounds really ridiculous.

 

Mickey Gordon  35:33

I just went, just went out fishing.

 

Mallory Gordon  35:35

I mean, that’d be kind of hot. Yeah, right.

 

Mickey Gordon  35:39

Well, all I can tell you is fishing pictures for a primary profile photo, probably not good. Yeah. Just because it means that you don’t really have normal photos of yourself. And it’s okay to have one. Just don’t make it your primary.

 

Mallory Gordon  35:52

Yeah, I mean, what would you say would be a good primary photo? Like if you if they only had one photo? What should it be

 

Mickey Gordon  35:58

a photo of you, you know, feeling whenever you feel good about yourself, well dressed, you know, look with a smile on your face in your happy place. You know, I mean, they may be on a boat fishing is it? But that doesn’t translate to good conversation or a good person, it doesn’t trade it doesn’t tell me anything other than your you like fish? Okay, that’s fair. And what I look for is maybe a social setting where you’re engaging with other people, or maybe something like the kind of the last thing on the list, which is something that indicates maybe a life of service, like a first responder, which is something that you’re very attracted to our military, just when it’s clear that I’m talking to somebody that puts other people above themselves, that means you’re probably gonna have a good time in bed.

 

Mallory Gordon  36:42

Yeah. And it’s, I mean, we use it as a blanket, you know, statement. And I know, it can’t be true consistently through every single person we run into. But it gives that added layer of initial trust, I suppose. Because they do they, they put their lives at risks, and they genuinely genuinely care about humanity, because you can’t be in those positions and do it long term, and not give a fuck about other people. Because then you’re really fucking bad at your job.

 

Mickey Gordon  37:09

But think about it this way. So at least one of these two people that you’ve had the situation with, have made it through all of this, and it still didn’t go the way you wanted it to go. Yeah. So that’s, that’s the hard show.

 

Mallory Gordon  37:21

I’m the common denominator, oh,

 

Mickey Gordon  37:25

they couldn’t be more different. Yeah.

 

Mallory Gordon  37:26

So after they get through all those initial gates, what happens next is, you know, they’re kicked over to me. And we do this via text. And we’ve recently adopted that methodology versus a kicker, another service. Because if I’m going to leave and reveal myself to them in a very sexual way, and be alone with them, the least we can do is give up that part of our anonymity, and have a real conversation over text.

 

Mickey Gordon  37:51

Yeah. And just for a tip for you guys that are listening out there and are thinking about doing this sort of thing, or want to get away from kik or any of these other services, we use a service called sideline and sideline for 50 bucks a year, let’s you have a phone number that you and your spouse can share, which means it’s one phone number, all texts go to both of you. It’s really, really handy. And I highly recommend it.

 

Mallory Gordon  38:10

Yes. And I love that, because is we’re having conversations, heaven forbid, I’ve never had a scare. But just in case, if he you can see the last trends, not transactions.

 

Mickey Gordon  38:24

Stick out that now. All right, Pretty Woman, you can

 

Mallory Gordon  38:27

see the last point of contact, and I always share my location with you. So you can see the last point of contact and with what the context was around it, just in case so but you never go in there and read them. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you in there reading my conversations before so I don’t. But so how it goes we have we have a text conversation. You know, if they have a good personality, sense of humor, they’re willing to show me face picks, you know, I try to book a date after you know, those initial gates. And sometimes it just takes, you know, a few days, sometimes it takes a couple weeks, depending on the frequency and the depth of conversation we’re able to have. So we get a date in the books and the hard part or at least I thought is once you book the date you meet, we figure out if there’s actual chemistry there because I have yet to have sex on that first initial meeting. Because I’m usually got some anxiety got a lot of questions. I want to feel them out. I want to see if that that I’m attraction is organic, right? But if that date goes well then it’s on the next one. We’re fuckin I find

 

Mickey Gordon  39:34

you booking dates right before your wax to make sure you have a good excuse not to. I’ve seen you do it like three times now so I have a pattern.

 

Mallory Gordon  39:43

Oh, you know, I think I have been doing that purpose. Yeah, maybe it’s mine. I was gonna say not consciously, but I think I to prove because I’m like, There’s no way I’m gonna let him see my homeless person down in my pants. So we’re the first date. We are Just talking. Maybe a little petting definitely kissing we I almost insist on kissing her shape because that’s the first preview you get to what sex might be like with him. So and if you’re not a match kissing, can you imagine sleeping with someone? No, you? I can’t.

 

Mickey Gordon  40:15

It’s a tongue, your nostril or something? My gosh, this is not and even if it’s

 

Mallory Gordon  40:19

good everywhere else, it’s like a pet peeve for me because it ruins everything. It catches me it will literally draw me out of a moment if I’m having a good time. Yeah. Anywho Alright, here’s where I’ve had the the issue and where it stems from. Okay, so I’ve had two really great executions this summer. And when I say great, I mean fucking fire. We had so much fun in and out of the sack, the chemistry was organic. Tons and tons of laugh, which is pretty much how you get my panties off, like you make me laugh You’re fuckin in. Because I’m a I’m a tough cookie. And they were totally on board really seemingly. So with this dynamic, you know, because we had a lot of engagements as far as dialogue and texting and conversation. Like, we couldn’t go get a drink and not have in only a drink or only coffee and not sit there for three hours just shooting the shit. Like it was, it was so much fun. And then we’d go into sex. And it was like, amazing. And, I don’t know, like, they seem so over the moon about the idea. And like, I’m thinking about it, and my mind’s like, skipping and frolicking. And, you know, I’m excited because they have so much potential to be this regular thing, but I’m trying to, you know, I’m not putting any pressure on them. But with both of them, it burns so hot. And then it didn’t like it just fucking disappeared on both occasions. And it all happened like during the the transition to the next meet. And, you know, we even had vanilla dates in there. If something was wrong, there was multiple opportunities to come out and tell me, why ghost me? What was the reasoning behind it? Like? Literally, there was nothing no email, no, no text? No, no phone calls gone fucking gone. And you know, I’m trying to do like, the concern citizen thing like, hey, weird, haven’t heard from you hope everything’s okay. Totally fine. If you don’t have time, just, you know, hope you’re alright. And just nothing? Nothing? Nothing? Well,

 

Mickey Gordon  42:31

I mean, number one, I think this is different than the hardship that most people in hot wifing face. Because usually what I hear from listeners is, guys who don’t show up when they’ve scheduled a date. That’s usually what we hear. However, in most of those cases, it’s when the guy doesn’t show up to meet a couple. So there’s a couple of waiting on them at the bar where the guy is gonna sit in the corner and jerk off or whatever, like, which is totally cool if that’s what you want to do. But I think that is maybe intimidating to guys, so they don’t show up. I think that sometimes the case this is a you and that person one on one, which they’re almost always going to show up for that until after like you’re saying, but I don’t think it’s fair, that you’re giving yourself all the blame here. First of all, one of those two guys you found on field. So I clear no responsibility for that. That

 

Mallory Gordon  43:21

is true. And I was so fucking proud of myself too. Because I was like, Look, I did a thing. And he’s great. And I guess, to his defense, eventually, he popped his head back up, and was like, here’s what happened. And it turned out that No, he wasn’t legitimately single. And part of me. I’m fat. I’m mad at myself. Because again, I had control of that situation. But I’m also mad at him. Like, that’s fucking disrespectful. Like if you weren’t clean and ready to be on the market and engage in these kind of situations. You shouldn’t have fucking done it.

 

Mickey Gordon  43:54

My favorite part about the conversations you come in and tell me that I’m like, wait a minute, he messaged you and said, Hey, so I wasn’t single back then. I was cheating on my old lady. But now I actually am so we should.

 

Mallory Gordon  44:04

Technically it wasn’t cheating because of and you know, he gave me going like, um, I guess that makes sense. But at the same time, no, like a decent human wouldn’t have led all this time pass. Yeah, like treat me like a fucking human being like, I’m a big girl. I got thick skin.

 

Mickey Gordon  44:22

That’s what we call non ethical non monogamy. Anyway, with

 

Mallory Gordon  44:27

effects going on. Let me make an informed decision. No,

 

Mickey Gordon  44:30

well, it’s not okay, obviously. But the other one, you know, I kind of give him a little bit more of the past. First of all, he and I did talk. I know exactly who he is. And, you know, he had said pretty much from the beginning that he was married, but they were separated and they were planning on not being together. And they were then they talked to I guess what you guys were talking that they were talking about getting back together. But it was okay. Yeah.

 

Mallory Gordon  44:53

And, you know, I think the the next version of that was, you know, and it’s so funny that I happened so close together because I was like, you know, I think this is a good human that I’m I’m I’ve befriended and had really great sex with, but I feel compelled to be like, hey, if the terms of your reconciliation, like, the outcome is that this is no longer thing I need you to know that I support that like I will not be any drama for you. Like what you would have said I wanted the opportunity to say that, and I’m thinking, that’s probably what happened. And everything just got shut the fuck down without a single word. And that is my biggest problem. This is why I think I’m beating myself up is that person didn’t value me enough to give me like, Hey, this is the search.

 

Mickey Gordon  45:41

Yeah, I think that’s exactly it. And I think that you would have been totally cool about it. He just didn’t do it. And he ghosted instead. And I tell you, I, I don’t normally do this, but I just, you know, I know you were kind of invested, you liked him. And I just he and I had been messaging. So I just brought up one of our messages, all of his profiles are gone, like he’s gone. So that tells me that’s probably exactly what happened. He got back with his wife, and all you do is type by and move, but I don’t think any of this leads to you being a bad hot wife or bad in the sack or any of the things that you brought up.

 

Mallory Gordon  46:13

There’s, I mean, I think there’s another layer in there. I mean, obviously, you know, for me, both of these in a lot of we were there was no indication or reason, right? And a why or a, you know, was an offer to me. And again, like I I’m okay with blunt dialogue, and I’m okay with, you know, the narrative changing, because that’s what fucking happens in life. It constantly changes, you know, let you know you’re born you die, and shit changes in between, that’s the only three things you can depend on, right? I just don’t know why I didn’t deserve that courtesy. For them, I felt devalued. So I kept asking myself over and over and over again, what did I do wrong? What about my expectations? Are my expectations outside the realm of reason for this specific dynamic? And maybe I’m being unfair to them? Or myself? Or maybe both in this situation? So I don’t know. The last question I asked was probably the hardest one. And I’m gonna be completely honest about this. I had to like, put myself in check pretty hard, because I had to. I had to go, like 5000 feet more back and go, who am I? So I asked myself, Why does this bother me so much? Why? Why am I kicking rocks and wise is now a stop gap for me until I figured this out. So the first first thing I came up with is my natural fear of rejection, I read both of those as being rejected by those human beings. And it’s, that is something I have control of is my thought process and how how I can triage myself. The second thing is, I think they bested me, in a lot of ways, they took that control away from me. And that’s how I was reading that, you know, it took my power my equity away, because I didn’t deserve it. So now they held the power in the dynamic, and all of it, because now it’s it’s cut off, it’s done, I get no set. And the last, I mean, I’ll be honest, it made me feel used and a lot less humans again, like I wasn’t afforded that courtesy.

 

Mickey Gordon  48:27

And to me is somebody that is sworn to protect you and you know, be I don’t know everything I can be. That makes me feel like I filled you really? Well. Yeah, I’d never let anybody use you. Unless you wanted to be used and the so on the front end. That’s what I thought on the back end, I feel like I let you down.

 

Mallory Gordon  48:49

I hope you let that go because I had to let those feelings go to because just because I found I was very, very particular and how in specific and how I I worded that, I felt that way it doesn’t mean that’s how it was it doesn’t mean that’s how they felt. I may never know how they fucking felt. But that’s how I felt in the moment. And I think that was a byproduct of essentially the rejection in the power dynamic. It really made me feel vulnerable. And when you feel vulnerable, I mean, you go through the list of insecurities ad nauseum to a point where it’s actually anything you know, for me having that little pity party, you know, then I really want to kick myself and like get off the floor bitch, wipe your tears, get on with life. This is nothing this is a speed bump, at best but here’s the thing I want so much to approach the situation in a way that I can do it and do it better. I always I just need to find a way to do it better but I can’t make sex a transaction. So there’s got to be more to it for me. You know in the game. I need a baseline foundation of trust. I needed to in order to Relax and open up and enjoy myself, I need that to communicate effectively with my partner and let them know what I want and what makes me happy and what makes me get off. And vice versa. I need to have that trust in order to ask them those questions, because it was a very personal question. Yeah, if I don’t like, you know, you trust us a really fucking hard to ask. But that requires an extended period of time outside and initial meetings. So a one and done is just never going to be my thing. I just don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable with that. I mean, there’s been maybe an occasion or two that it’s kind of happened that way. But we’ve, it’s also been in an environment where we’re isolated and have been in this like pressure cooker with people. So the peace, you get to know someone’s also escalated. So anyway, can can you before I go into my last time sure I’m here. Can you tell me what the hell I’m doing wrong this far?

 

Mickey Gordon  50:54

Well, I think it’s a couple of fold. And I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong. Honestly, zero is the answer. If I had to answer it, in a word, nothing, you know, do anything wrong, you just have a different expectation of what you’re looking for, then what some people might have in their mind as what’s expected of them. In this particular case, I can tell you, in my time playing solo, things are very hard for st for guys in this space. And I know it sounds like boohoo you get to sleep with you know women and it’s amazing. But, you know, mathematically, if you just kind of think about this, just think about what’s available out there. Okay, so there are only so many women in this world. And let’s just say we’ll call it out of 100. Women, let’s make it easy numbers. Easy numbers, easy match. So there’s 100 Women in this world, and of those 100 Women in this world. 80% of them will not sleep with somebody that’s in a relationship or married. Okay, ethically we’re not. Okay, now it’s 20. Okay, now there’s 2020 year old 20 women, yes. Now there are 20 Women in this world that will sleep with somebody. Okay? Now, the average guy, the average guy, if one out of 10, one to 10, average is five, average guys are five. Okay, that means of the 20 and others 10. Now, there’s 10 possible women that might sleep at the five, because they’re also fives. No, because that’s just the way that their standards roll. Okay, right that? If so, I was the least except That’s it. Okay, so now you just knocked off a shitload more of us. And now there’s 10 Chicks left on the faces planet that will sleep with somebody who’s the five that that is a five and also ethically non monogamous, or in a new relationship. So what I’m saying is the pools fairly bucking small. And now granted, you could be a six, a seven, or an eight or a nine, or like some of the dudes I’ve talked to, you can think you’re a 10, I promise you, bro, you’re not. Alright. But women love confidence, which means you better believe you’re an eight or a nine, even if you’re a five, because you have to convince her of that you have to convince her you have value and that you should be spending time with me. And I got big energy. Well, yeah. But more importantly, what I’m trying to tell you is in the lifestyle of those women of those 100, that we knocked down to 20, that we got knocked down to 10. There just aren’t many of them that are the smoke show that you are and I know that I am obviously biased because I married you and got you off the fucking market as fast as I could. The idea that there are many women out there of your intelligence, humor, kindness, sexiness, quality, embed, the things you bring to the table, I promise you, they’re not leaving that they have something else they’re running from. The math doesn’t hold up. math tells the story binary can tell you everything. There’s 10 types of people in this world people to get binary people that don’t. So it’s just one of those things. And what I’m saying is you can explain everything with math eventually. Okay, and math says you’re wrong.

 

Mallory Gordon  53:57

Okay. Well, I appreciate that. And I love you dearly for it. And I will do my best to digest that and, and take it for face value.

 

Mickey Gordon  54:06

That’s what you’re doing wrong. Actually. It’s just you’re discounting the math. Okay. All right. Because the reality is, you have two points of data that are very different. You got two people that came from very different places, one of them was actually more honest than the other one, and you just build like a bitch. He didn’t actually lie to you. He told the truth. He just build like a bitch. The first one was a lying sack of shit. So I don’t have any. I have no allegiance to that guy, cuz I never talked to him. But honestly, for the most part, you do pretty well. And even when you walk away, you say goodbye. You say I you know, this isn’t gonna work out for me. But I really enjoyed talking to you and making friends with you. And I hope we can chat every once in a while. Yeah, you’re not a dick about it. They are not on you.

 

Mallory Gordon  54:44

So I appreciate them. But here’s my thing. I also think so we’ve presented this problem and I need some sort of solution or resolution I need a next step. I need to take away I need to do something actionable and The only thing I’ve come back to time and time again, and please don’t kick my ass over this Hear me out? is I need to lower my expectations. Okay? No, no, no, no, no, no, I’m gonna be quiet. Okay, Now hear me out. So I know, you can attest to this, I, as a human have unreasonably high expectations of other people, which is why traditionally, my circle of friends, the people I hold close is very, very small. Because I set a bar, so fucking high. And then I walk away feeling disappointed by other people, and in most cases, and I’m talking 99.9% of them. Without these people ever knowing the terms of these expectations, it’s all in my head. And as an adult, I have worked really fucking hard to improve that because it’s not fair. And it’s, I’ve missed opportunities to genuinely connect with other people, I have missed opportunities to have open conversations with people, I don’t want to be that person. But it is something that could very much be second nature if I’m not conscious of it. So I know it’s a shortcoming. I know I have to balance that and let more people in. I also think it’s very possible that my method involves way more emotional and mental cycles, than these people are really prepared for these guys. I mean, when you think about it, they have systematically been conditioned, or have welcomed this dynamic, as you know, hot wifing for it being most of the time, and I’m just summarizing this, that it’s very, very transactional, that none of these other factors typically are involved in it. So my method and desire is actually the anomaly. It’s it’s more time consuming, you know, occasional to frequent conversations and like touching base, maybe that’s a little too much, maybe, maybe I need to tone that down, maybe I need to step back just a little bit. You know, because if they wanted, like a real life girlfriend, they’d probably have one, you know, in that situation, and maybe the steps I’m taking and the demands I have, or the expectations I have are way too close to that for that situation. So maybe, I mean, maybe it has something to do with my insecurities that I need all these little gates, you know, put in there and in order for me to press go,

 

Mickey Gordon  57:32

Well, maybe that’s something you could add, if you want to talk about something you could do differently add to your, you know, litany of things that you talk about these people that go hey, at some point, this thing’s gonna end, because you’re gonna fall in love with somebody or someone’s gonna fall in love. That is not okay with this relationship here. All I need you to do is let me know.

 

Mallory Gordon  57:50

Yeah. And um, yeah, no, that’s absolutely fair. And I love that shirt with the end. I fucking love that. Noted. I’m going to use that. And I also know that some of these conversations could be you know, kind of steered toward like a poly light conversation and I don’t think we have the time for that today. So what we’ll chew on that and maybe get back to at a later time. And oh, my God, just fucking thought about the guy I’m talking to right now. Wow. Yeah, right. That

 

Mickey Gordon  58:21

guy. He just yeah, he’s one that ghosties one that got ghosted, but never had sex with him there just went away.

 

Mallory Gordon  58:26

Now, we were planning a date. And then like, he got busy and I got busy and we he kind of ghosted and then he came back. And he was like, Yeah, funny story. So I ended up getting really serious about this girl and had to step away and I’m going, huh, happens for a lot does.

 

Mickey Gordon  58:44

Well, yeah, I think for a lot of these guys, the lifestyles the thing they do between girlfriends. Yeah. And again, it’s like, cool if that’s what you’re looking for. You want to get married fall in love and all that shit. Great. You know, you don’t have a relationship going on. Just be honest. Just tell me hey, I met somebody and I’m trying to see where this goes. Be like cool. We’re still friends. shoot the shit anytime send a jokes and demean let’s have a good time. Like I please send jokes. I love jokes. Exactly. But don’t don’t just like disappear. Let me know you’re gone. Because I’m not gonna book Fridays for you anymore. Yeah, right.

 

Mallory Gordon  59:11

So And fun fact, I did book a date with that guy. Yeah, so I’m gonna see him this week just to shoot the shit and say hi, because I feel it’s very important for me to try to live some of those gates. And let me be very clear, my standards of the quality of human I’m not going to compromise on but the gates that I’ve set forth, you know, maybe taking a step or two away to kind of see how it goes. And if I’m not comfortable, I’m definitely not doing anything that I’m not 100% in for, you know, I’m still the owner of my own actions. But I want to try to lift some of those gates to see if I have different outcomes at this point.

 

Mickey Gordon  59:48

Speaking about comes I’m gonna ask you a question that we have not talked about this not written down anywhere, folks. This is gonna put Mallory on the spot for you. But it’s important because there’s some of you out there that are thinking about hot wife and talking about how I think are in hot wife relationships and have not asked yourself this question. You have two points of data to interactions that did not work out the way that you wanted them to. Do you regret them?

 

Mallory Gordon  1:00:14

Oh, shit. No, no, I don’t regret them. Okay, no, cuz I had a good time. I enjoyed their company. And if I regretted then that means I want to wash that whole thing away. It’s just the end. The end is the part that sucks.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:00:29

Isn’t that the part we usually regret?

 

Mallory Gordon  1:00:31

Hmm, yeah, I suppose so. But I can’t eat. So first regret for me was an inaction or action that I took that I’m responsible for. Part of me hopes they regret it. Does that make sense?

 

Mickey Gordon  1:00:44

Well, that’s what regret is. I think she didn’t do nothing she

 

Mallory Gordon  1:00:47

did. Yeah, I mean, selfishly, like there’s a part of me. Maybe she’s the kind of a shitty little brat. It’s like, I hope they kick rocks thinking about how great our sex was, and that they never got to do it again.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:00:57

Right? Or maybe she just can’t suck dick for shit. Right? I

 

Mallory Gordon  1:01:00

don’t know. That was really mean, you should edit that out for you. No, I don’t think people know and I’m not kind of an asshole. I don’t think

 

Mickey Gordon  1:01:05

you’re an asshole. I think that it’s okay to be a little bit jaded that somebody didn’t have the courtesy to say, Hey, I can’t do this thing anymore. But I still want to, you know, be friends or I can’t even be friends with you. Because I can never let this person know this happened. And at that point, now we got an issue and go look, I’m not going to tell them but you should be a better human. Yeah, right. And because now, you know, I think that that makes you compromise your worth. And your worth is priceless.

 

Mallory Gordon  1:01:31

I love you and your bias.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:01:33

I’m not because that was not just talking to you that was talking to every woman that’s listening to the sound of my voice right this minute. Ah, your worth is priceless. No one should devalue you. And if something you’re doing is devaluing you or making you regret what you did, you should not do it. Correct. It’s my personal that’s that’s deep thoughts by Miki casual Swinging.

 

Mallory Gordon  1:01:55

Yeah, fuck those bitches. This is Russia. Anyway, you

 

Mickey Gordon  1:01:58

bust out bourbon. Hey, look, that’s the whole white hardship episode as brought to you by the beautiful man. Yeah.

 

Mallory Gordon  1:02:03

So you know, and I mean, I posed this question to you, but if our listeners if any of you out there have thoughts on this subject, or have experiences that you want to share, how, give me a couple tips if you’re like a pro in this sector. And, you know, you see some parallels here. I’m a fucking open book. You know, this is still a little bit of uncharted territory for me as I’m trying to navigate where I sit, and you know who I am in this like, I think I know, but I feel like my approach is, and my methodology is a little broken.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:02:32

Yeah. Yeah. So we’re gonna bounce out of here, we’re gonna come back with whiskey of the month, which is that segment that you guys messaged us so much about recently, we got so many messages about whiskey of the month. Turns out to segment you guys we’re looking forward to it’s the thing we happen to know a lot about. So November’s whiskey of the month is coming up, because by the time you listen to this episode, we will be in the month of November. But before we jump to that, we’re going to do two things. First of which I’m going to give a shout out to a special listener that sent us a message that absolutely blew us away. It made our week it was regarding the hormones episode. Bradley, if you’re out there, and you’re listening, we appreciate you so much. And you know, I’m not gonna give any more details than that. But you know who you are. If you’re listening to this, and I’m so happy for you and your wife. I can’t even tell you.

 

Mallory Gordon  1:03:16

So welcome to your new lives, kids.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:03:18

There it is. Welcome to the new you and hey, Mallory. Why don’t you tell everybody where to find us? We’ll come back with whiskey of the month.

 

Mallory Gordon  1:03:24

Yeah, I’ll be under a rock after revealing myself and feeling vulnerable. That’s where you will find me. Actually, we are casual swinger everywhere, casual swinger.com. Feel free to shoot us a message at podcast that casual showing your.com We’d love to hear from you guys. We are on social media. That’s Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram. And you can check us out on the dating sites double EIGHT nation SLS SDC and Cassidy.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:03:45

There it is, folks. We’ll be back in a hot second with this slightly extended version of casual swinger while you’re listening All right, welcome back to casual swinger one last time this is still your Caboose Mickey.

 

Mallory Gordon  1:04:15

And I’m Mallory,

 

Mickey Gordon  1:04:16

and this is that segment you guys have decided you like so much and I tell you what, when we realized you guys were listening and you were really into this we kind of agonized over it a little bit. We’re like shit now we got to be really careful. We

 

Mallory Gordon  1:04:28

listen to pick picking my favorite child which again, I totally have one. But

 

Mickey Gordon  1:04:33

Well anybody that’s been to the casual bar knows we have over 180 whiskies in the casual bar itself. Yes, so it’s we have a lot of whiskey here we’re definitely a whiskey house maybe one of these these will throw you guys a bone and do a TJ

 

Mallory Gordon  1:04:45

I think you and I bait debate whiskey way more than we debate politics.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:04:49

Oh, we don’t talk politics in this house.

 

Mallory Gordon  1:04:51

Oh, we do. But yeah,

 

Mickey Gordon  1:04:52

maybe me getting mad at somebody on the TV. But anyway, without further ado, this is whiskey of the month.

 

Mallory Gordon  1:04:59

Candy is dandy bow whiskey makes you frisky

 

Mickey Gordon  1:05:02

and whiskey of the month this month whiskey of the month is blade and bow. Oh,

 

Mallory Gordon  1:05:07

that’s what excites me to my core because I am a devout blade in bow drinker. little background on this tasty tasty whiskey for you folks. So Bladen bow is produced at the original site of the iconic Stitzel Weller distillery in Louisville, Kentucky, so it’s a Google I’m from Florida, okay,

 

Mickey Gordon  1:05:30

Louisville, slugger, Louisville.

 

Mallory Gordon  1:05:34

Whatever. The original distillery closes stores back in 1982 and Diageo just reopened the facility in 2014. In regards to the origins of the blade boat, neem it actually represents the two parts of a skeleton key which I didn’t know this is fucking cool. So the blade shaft and the ornate bow. Diageo states that the Bladen Bo brand is a tribute to the five keys that once actually hung on the door of the Stitzel Weller distillery, which those stand for the five steps and making bourbon grains, yeast fermentation, distillation and aging.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:06:13

That’s right. And anytime you buy a bottle of Blaydon Bo, much like the venerable or legendary Blanton’s, yes, the Each one comes with a key. Each key is numbered one through five the object is to collect all five keys that we have hundreds of years. We have a ton of those keys. We love laden boat however, what a lot of people don’t know is there is a sixth key where to get the six key you have to buy something that you can not buy, generally speaking, which is laden bow 22 year.

 

Mallory Gordon  1:06:46

Yeah, and that’s our bottle is a fucking ridiculous. It’s crazy. Yeah.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:06:51

But the bleeding bow bottles are 50 bucks, you can get those for 4999 just about anywhere in this country. And I highly recommend you do

 

Mallory Gordon  1:06:58

we were just in Virginia and it was 42

 

Mickey Gordon  1:07:01

What a deal on that whiskey. So just to talk about it a little bit. So unlike its older brother laden bow 22 year that I just mentioned, the standard no age statement laden bow is produced by utilizing something called the Solera aging method.

 

Mallory Gordon  1:07:16

Now, this is all new to me. I love this. This is so fucking cool. Sorry to interrupt. That’s

 

Mickey Gordon  1:07:20

okay. This is just really unique. So you guys need to pay attention for this one because there’s only two major whiskies in the United States that are made via this aging method. So according to Diageo, some of the latest bourbon produced at Stitzel, Weller is used in their Solera system. They stayed the older bourbon from Stitzel Weller is is mingled with other younger whiskies, no barrel is ever fully drained, ensuring that the oldest bourbon is always present. So let’s talk about what’s the lyric

 

Mallory Gordon  1:07:45

Okay, so that’s like marrying the ketchup bottles and yes, foodservice like ketchup in there from like, 15 years ago. Yeah.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:07:51

But as time goes on, it’s less and less. Right, right. So what’s Solera aging is, is in its most traditional form of Solera is a fractional aging and blending method. They use a tiered system of barrels. If you can think of like a pyramid of barrels. The tears are actually called Korea data. It’s a Spanish word. young wine is blended into older wine to allow them to mingle and age together. Notice I said Wine. Wine is actually where this process was pioneered that wine distillers were actually aging wine in barrels, and they would use Solera to create blends. So a whiskey distiller decided to give this thing a try. Overtime, it’s transferred through the top in the middle layers of the Solera system until it reaches the lowest grade Dara once the barrel reaches this bottom tier, its contents are ready for bottling, and it’s an advanced aging method. There’s only two whiskies in America that do that right now that you can buy regularly, one of which is Bladen. Bo, the other is Hill rock. Hill Rock is $100 A bottle. So this bottle is not only fantastic, but it’s a bargain.

 

Mallory Gordon  1:08:49

It’s, it’s it’s really a fantastic value for the dollar, because it’s an exceptional sipping whiskey. And for me, that’s traditionally how I drink it. I either drink it neat, or on the rocks.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:09:02

We’ll talk about the flavor real quick. What do you think of it

 

Mallory Gordon  1:09:03

so the reason why this is important because like Layton VO It’s a very light and airy bourbon to drink. It shows off the like peach honey with a very light oak note I’m not a big buki fan like a double oak bourbon, he has to shine from the like it. It smells a lot hotter than what it is, which means you get that little acid tingle like Yeah. And it’s a little bit of a surprise being 91 proof. I think as you would expect it to be a lot hotter on the front portion. The fruit notes kind of carry over to the palate. It’s got a little grain spice to it. It’s it’s really a masterful balance and makes it super easy to sit on. So even if you’re traditionally not a neat or rocks person, person, this is something you could potentially sip on without a mixer and I encourage you to do so especially when you first try it.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:09:57

Yeah and something I want you guys to know because you You guys heard us say in the lead into this Eggman Stitzel. Weller, Weller, you’re that part because it’s important at some of this royalty. Yeah, the Stitzel Weller originals are almost impossible to get. And some of this goes into every bottle of Blaydon bow. Now of course, they don’t say how much so chances are it’s a fairly small piece of that whiskey. But that very whiskey goes into the Solera that makes Bladen bow what it is. What I’m saying is at least on some level, that Blaydon bow is a sleeper Weller.

 

Mallory Gordon  1:10:33

I would agree.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:10:35

And that’s just fucking wicked. We don’t know how much but it’s in there. The pedigree in the work involved in this should easily be $100 burden, but it’s not. It is if you buy Hill rock, you know, so this is easily one of our favorite whiskies at the casual bar. And I think if we had to say anything about bleeding bow, what would it be Miller

 

Mallory Gordon  1:10:56

on that it’s definitely one of our favorites. It’s a staple. Yeah. No, cipet Don’t take it to the face. Dork, I love you.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:11:06

That’s all right. Well, hey, that’s it for whiskey of the month. And that’s it for this episode of casual swinger. Only thing left to do is for Mallory to tell you about our upcoming episodes and we’ll get out of here

 

Mallory Gordon  1:11:16

Yeah, yeah. Coming soon guys. I don’t know if it’ll be the very next episode. We’re going to do our best but we have a couple really awesome ones coming up. We’re gonna have the breast episode ever. We’re going to be interviewing my teddy doctor, Dr. Plank. So I look forward to that here in November and may have a game show episode coming down the pipeline for you guys.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:11:36

We’re still looking for contestants for that game show too. So we’ll get back to you and we know who’s gonna be joining us. Yeah, well, logistics too. So I’m gonna get out my best like game show host voice to

 

Mallory Gordon  1:11:47

all right, we need to watch some Patsy jack and some money haul.

 

Mickey Gordon  1:11:51

Andrew Swenson. Okay. Anyway, all right. Say bye to everybody. Bye, everybody. All right, folks. We’ll catch you next time. You’ve been listening to casuals

 

Mallory Gordon  1:12:02

Have you bye