Meet The New Boss & We’re Not Talking Santa – ft/ Dermot DeLoughry Hedonism II’s NEW GM

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We sat down with BRAND new Hedonism II GM, Dermot DeLoughry on his VERY FIRST DAY on the job!

Find out more about the new boss of our favorite Caribbean destination, Hedonism II!  Also, catch up with us on our Christmas goin’s on, including a Swingmas Christmas Party, vPCAP, PCAP, and of course our February Hedonism trip!  

Stay til the end for a DELICIOUS Cranberry Old Fashioned recipe!

  • 3 ounces quality bourbon whiskey
  • 1 ounce cranberry simple syrup*
  • 3 shakes Angostura bitters
  • Garnish with orange peel, Ocean Spray® Fresh Cranberries, and rosemary

In a serving glass with ice, stir together the bourbon, cranberry simple syrup, and bitters.

Garnish with orange peel, fresh cranberries, and rosemary.



*Cranberry Simple Syrup – In a saucepan, bring 2 cups of water, 1 cup of sugar, and one cup of fresh cranberries to a boil. Once boiling, cook for 4-5 minutes. Strain with a fine mesh sieve. Cool before serving.


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SE03E20 – Playstyle Dynamics_mixdown

Fri, 8/27 5:28PM • 1:09:24


people, casual, play, couple, swinger, dynamic, toys, feel, doxy, fucking, person, head, playstyle, hear, mallory, girl, shit, dating sites, folks, conversation


Mickey Gordon, Mallory Gordon


Mallory Gordon  00:02

You’re listening to the casual swinger podcast as your hosts, we need to warn you that the material you’re about to hear may be sexual or explicit in nature. This podcast is intended for an adult audience. Now we don’t expect you to act like adults. What’s the fun in that?


Mickey Gordon  00:16

We’re a married couple living in Florida with over 13 years of experience in the lifestyle and we take almost nothing seriously. Casual swingers a variety show meaning we’ll cover everything from music to events, travel, and even the occasional hilarious screw up. Our show is about entertainment. We’re not licensed professionals had anything and our stories, commentary and guidance should not be confused with the opinions of a licensed professional.


Mallory Gordon  00:41

Now that you know, let’s take those pants off and get comfy. Hey, everybody, welcome back to casual swinger. I’m Mallory casual swinger. And what is that? I don’t know that used to podcast all the time, and they just fell face there. Just went out and got busy with life and went away. Yeah, I guess so. I suppose today, the role of Mickey will be played by yours truly. Excellent. Thank you for joining me. I heard he has a giant penis. I don’t have one of those. We’re just going to have to pretend logical fallacy. Oh, fallacy fallacy did you did was this? Yeah. All right. I see. We did.


Mickey Gordon  01:21

All right. All phalluses all the time. And fabulous Queen of Central Florida. Everybody. This is Mallory. Take a Palooza so what in the hell have we been doing for the last six weeks? that we haven’t been doing a podcast?


Mallory Gordon  01:37

Um, flyff. Work? Family Mickey got a new job. Yeah, you got a new job that definitely is kept us away. But you have been, you know, nose to the grindstone. Literally,


Mickey Gordon  01:48

I really every day trying to learn a new thing. And honestly keep casual toys rolling. And because that, you know, when you guys spend money with us, that’s a priority for us. And unfortunately, between the new job and casual toys, it’s kind of made it so I need to focus on that stuff. But yeah,


Mallory Gordon  02:03

I did think about doing an episode by myself. But answering myself makes me sound like an insane person. So


Mickey Gordon  02:09

I’m kind of thinking everyone would love it if you did an episode without me. So they didn’t have to hear my voice for a while. Yeah, but that’s like one long monologue. Oh, but it’s a good one you could be like, and this is how I masturbate.


Mallory Gordon  02:19

Okay, I mean, that’s that’s in play for late next episode. Right? Well, I think the last episode, but like we’re gonna be on time next time. Don’t worry, guys. He said that last three episodes. I think they’ve just surmised that we don’t keep our word.


Mickey Gordon  02:31

Okay, we are full of shit. But in the next episode, Mallory’s gonna whack it. Okay, if it. Yeah, sure. Why not? If that makes people tune back in you’ll just slap your been around on the shirt. YOLO can even see no one says that anymore. Do they? I think that was a very 2000s thing. You just said it was very such. Oh, you see, I’m cool. I use words like SAS in a sentence.


Mallory Gordon  02:52

Yeah. No, no. I mean, it’s I know what it means. It just doesn’t sound right coming out of your mouth. Oh,


Mickey Gordon  02:59

we have done a bunch of other shit. Right. So I think everything kind of led up we more or less accidentally took the month off leading up to peak app. And peak app is podcaster Palooza for those of you guys that live in Iraq, don’t listen, any of the shows, don’t listen to the other 11 content creators that were down there. It was a lot of fun, we would have to sound out with a bunch of cool last weekend people.


Mallory Gordon  03:19

I ton of cool ass people, it was so great to be in that type of environment. And he did such a good job of curating a place for people to have, you know, the world is their oyster to create their own adventure, essentially.


Mickey Gordon  03:34

And it was it was a journey for everybody that came whether it was a journey to go meet creators or a journey to learn something new or a journey to hang up by the beach and get fucked up because you’ve been stuck home with COVID for the last 18 months. Yeah,


Mallory Gordon  03:44

the theme night, see the events everything was just absolutely wonderful. And I enjoyed meeting so many people that we’d connect with, especially during COVID and quarantine, that we actually got to meet in person. That’s fantastic. Oh, I’m just gonna say it. Honey spoon. Oh, wow. Wow. No one’s surprised by that. You and every other person there. Yeah, get in line. Yeah. Honey spoon.





Mickey Gordon  04:14

By the way, who is one of our casual ambassadors for that? Yeah, it’s I met her and her amazing husband. And it was just like, Wow, you guys are awesome.


Mallory Gordon  04:23

Yeah, we had all three of our ambassadors there. Yeah, we had Miss alleycat. Oh, yeah. And Pepe pineapple and Pepe pineapple. So it was awesome. Yeah, one of my highlights and I’m just gonna go ahead and throw this in there since we’re talking about them anyways, is when Pepe and honey spoon showed up to our table with a wet t shirts because I’d mentioned earlier in the day that there was a girl wearing a white t shirt. And it was wet and there’s maybe it’s like the late 80s, early 90s stuck in me but there’s just something so hot about a girl and a wet white t shirt to me.


Mickey Gordon  04:57

Yeah, that’s right. For those of you out there that were born in the wrong generation. Just go ahead and Google Tawny kitane


Mallory Gordon  05:02

Yeah, yeah, it was, it was so hot and I was so touched like, I was awkward and speechless.


Mickey Gordon  05:08

Oh, yeah, it was, it was crazy. I mean, it’s I don’t lust for honey spoon for no reason whatsoever. She was hotter. No. And they were both wearing casual swinger t shirts. Yeah, they were just really frickin off. Again, totally touch. I think we would have probably talked about this earlier. And honestly, we really I know you guys that listen to us regularly know that we don’t really do event recap episodes very often. So we’re really not going to do that. Because my guess is you’re gonna get 11 or 12 of these from all the different contracts down there. But it you know, it was crazy. We were gonna have them talk about it because we met so many cool people. I definitely caught a cold because I’ve been stuck in the house for 18 months and didn’t go out and do anything. So it wasn’t COVID or anything, but I couldn’t talk for a week.


Mallory Gordon  05:46

Yeah, no, I think you then pass it on to me. I sound like I can swap spit. I’m a sound a little hoarse. That’s not a pony. You caught it from my penis. Yes, I did. It was great. Yeah, we had lots of dirty sex with ourselves.


Mickey Gordon  05:59

We really did. Like we didn’t sleep with anybody. I tell you what, we went to podcaster Palooza and came back and everybody that was there probably thinks that we’re like complete frauds. They were like, nope, they don’t swing. We never saw them. Never saw us in the play rooms because we never went.


Mallory Gordon  06:12

Yeah, no, we were just so busy. I don’t know socializing that we forgot that we’re swinger.


Mickey Gordon  06:19

Yeah, we’re here to meet people. And we didn’t do that. Not at all. Let’s be honest, we rarely do that at events anyway. It’s not really our style. We’re kind of casual. But that’s okay. It’s not like a mad about it or anything. And you know, we did our session, which for those of you that did not go to podcaster Palooza, the folks that did go and came to our session on Sunday afternoon, were I don’t want to see treated too, because I think we might have punished them a little. But we we fucked with them, essentially,


Mallory Gordon  06:45

cuz you made them laugh till they were crying. Somebody vomited. And then I was the fucking party pooper. I brought everyone down like 10 notches.


Mickey Gordon  06:55

Well, but that was the journey we went through. We did on purpose. I mean, we had a period in our lives that we’ve never talked about in the show, and we’re not going to that was about six months long, where we had the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. So we took the crowd through that in 45 minutes by taking them very, very high. And then bringing them very, very low. With the rest of the story.


Mallory Gordon  07:14

Yeah. And they forgave us. We got a lot of great feedback. Actually, most of that Sunday evening, we spent discussing some of that. And what I was really surprised by and really touched by, is there people that had stories that touched on or were similar to what we had discussed. And that almost makes me feel better about because I mean, I was still in shock. just telling that to the world because I’d never spoken out loud to anyone outside of us. Sure. We’ve kept it fairly quiet. Yeah, show that. Yeah. I was surprised at how, you know, raw, I still felt after talking about it. It was cathartic. Who are you telling? Yeah, I know. I know. I know. But it felt a little better knowing I’m not alone in there now alone, if that makes sense. Like we bonded a little bit over that.


Mickey Gordon  08:03

I kind of feel that and I feel that for a couple of reasons. Because standing up there and participating in the story with you listening to you tell your story. And lock from The Suite Life actually put it really succinctly. He said that we stood in front of a roomful of people in late our truth on the table. Very much so. And that was, by the way, it was that dude is awesome. I’ll get into that in a second. But it just, I mean, really. It was tough. And I didn’t realize how tough it was gonna be till I heard you doing it. And I’ve been a public speaker. For basically it’s all of your library. Yeah. And I don’t break up. I don’t screw up. I just don’t know. And yeah,


Mallory Gordon  08:44

you kind of broke character and started to get a little emotional. I did. I said out loud. If you if you do it, I’m gonna do it. And we’ll never get through this.


Mickey Gordon  08:51

This will never be over here the rest of the day. Yeah. So it was it was really kind of epic, to get that opportunity to share that story with those people and the lessons that we learned. And the biggest thing out of it that I got was closure. I feel like we’re finally moved on. You


Mallory Gordon  09:08

know, I was a little surprised to hear you say that, but also very grateful that that was a takeaway from you. Yeah, I was terrified in the hours leading up to it. I had conversations with you that I was really scared that I had started to make these friendships and connections while we were there. And then I’m gonna go in and paint myself as a villain to these people. And that is somewhere I’d be shunned or, or, you know, got the rotten tomatoes.


Mickey Gordon  09:36

I don’t think anybody was going to do that. But we definitely, you know, painted ourselves is not the heroes of the story,


Mallory Gordon  09:42

which is something we don’t tend to do as human beings. No, you know, we tend to like, put that stuff under the rug. And what actually happened for me is after you had finished your portion, and I started telling mine, I almost felt a little more at ease. I felt like I was among friends. And that was It was a safe space to do this. It was very strange, but wonderful.


Mickey Gordon  10:04

I kind of felt like they were all on that journey with us at that point. I think they were invested. They’re like, fuck it. We’re in it now. It’s like being on a roller coaster and you got to the top was like, Well, here we go. Buy in for a diamond for $1. Right, pitter patter. Let’s get out here. But I’ll talk about your Letterkenny obsession here later. But you know, I do think that one of the coolest things that came out of that was casual swinger. Because three months after all of that happened, yeah, casual swinger was born and that’s the thing that the people learned a pee cap. Is it casual swinger wasn’t born out of pride. It wasn’t born out of all the cool shit we know about the lifestyle. It wasn’t born out of us being experts. It was born out of humility.


Mallory Gordon  10:47

That is very true. I think it’s not something we’ve ever really said out loud.


Mickey Gordon  10:53

So I really felt like that was cool, but alright, on from that sappy rough shit. Thank you for everybody that came down to podcaster Palooza and took part in it with us and went on that emotional journey with us. But we did get to spend some time with some of the most amazing content creators in this business.


Mallory Gordon  11:08

Amen. Do you want to give like a few like bullet point like highlights and then we’ll move on? Oh, yeah. We got to do some shout outs.


Mickey Gordon  11:14

Everybody knows that. I have a man crush on Jay from average trainers. He is one of my favorite human beings on the face of this planet. He’s amazing. And oh my god, it looks so good. And his main Kini. You know, and I am being genuinely honest, when it says I know he and I fuck with each other on the air all the time. But there are very few people in this world that I personally call for advice. And he’s one of them. And that should tell you who he is. He’s that good of a human being. He’s that brilliant, emotionally speaking. Intellectually speaking, he’s a turd but emotionally he’s just you know, he’s amazing. But how about how about locking triste? From the sweet life?


Mallory Gordon  11:56

They were well, she’s hot. Oh my god. So when he walked into the room, I was like, Oh my god, they’re fucking high. Well, I’m at lock. Wow.


Mickey Gordon  12:04

And he’s like, my wife will be here. later on. I’m like, that’s cool. I get it. She just trolled you out here. You know? And then you know, maybe she’ll show up later. Maybe she doesn’t exist. And then next thing I know this smokin hot girl with hair a cooler color than mine is like, oh, by the way. I’m that girl he told you about.


Mallory Gordon  12:20

Oh, yeah, she looked like I’m fucking million dollars. Jesus. Holy crap. Rice that girl smoking. I was trying to play cool. No, I wasn’t cool. I stumbled on my single syllable words. Smile. Don’t say anything stupid. Like, Hi, my name is bbbbbb Nikki. What am I Oh my god. Bummer bell. Oh, another one. I loved hanging out with those guys. They’re amazing. as advertised, but even more so they’re so charismatic in person and so full of life. And like, I fucking love their smiles and I didn’t want to be a creeper. But like, if I saw them, I made sure like I wiggled my way into their little orbit so that we could at least have some conversation and hang out. Yeah, I really want to dance with bomber which I?


Mickey Gordon  13:03

Yeah, you know, I don’t go on the dance. No, you know? No, no, he definitely don’t I just hang out on the outside. But you know, we also got to meet some other great folks. The folks from naughty Jim. We got to meet the foot from swinging outside the lines. Yeah, chance to meet them before. And I know I’m gonna forget somebody. I think we pretty much had met everyone else other than those four. But I think you know, Locke made a huge impression on me because he went out of his way to come over and introduce himself to me and tell me who they are. And I’ve listened to their stuff, but I just never really got a chance to look them in the eye and shake his hand. And he took that opportunity which says so much to me, and I really appreciate it It definitely what bomber bomber is a great dude.


Mallory Gordon  13:41

Oh my gosh, this sounds amazing. I think we definitely got the fields. I do I get it feels now you guys got a case? Yeah, got a case of the fields.


Mickey Gordon  13:48

Definitely. And the last one that you know, I am a sepia sexual for those of you that don’t know and every sense of the word, right? When somebody really can engage with me intellectually look me in the eye and sit down and have a conversation about something that we might even disagree, and it’s okay. I like disagreeing with smart people because we’re not gonna insult each other. We’re not gonna call each other names. We’re gonna dig in. And that’s exactly what I got to do with the beautiful Kate, from monogamous marriage.


Mallory Gordon  14:15

That is true. And we actually got to spend some time with her significant other as well. Liam. Yeah, yeah, it was the next day. Yeah, we got both. Like we got the both It was so good. And here I’m wondering if you’re gonna want run over like superlatives before you got to them.


Mickey Gordon  14:33

I can’t say enough about them. Everyone knows she’s hot because her pictures are fire. But it’s they’re just the most amazing people are so freaking brilliant.


Mallory Gordon  14:40

They’re brilliant. They’re very open, transparent and brutally honest. Not I wouldn’t say brutally. They’re just the honest people. You can really engage them and just about any conversation and they’ll meet you there.


Mickey Gordon  14:54

And spoiler alert, they’re gonna be on our next episode, so Oh, shit. Oh shit. Hey, one last thing before we jump. On to the next thing because we do have a couple of things to do before we get to the breakouts. But Kate from wanderlust swingers baddest bitch on the planet hands down is just insanely detail oriented, organized. Everything we said she was everything we thought this event would be what it was.


Mallory Gordon  15:18

Yeah. And her level of, you know, customer care customer service stations, even a customer client friend. Like she, she was everywhere. at every given moment. Yeah.


Mickey Gordon  15:29

everywhere except by the back fence when I threatened to poke that guy in the eye.


Mallory Gordon  15:33

That’s true. It was a weirdo trying to look through like the Yeah, the fence where we were trying to block it off. So the topless Pool Party was private. Yeah, yeah.


Mickey Gordon  15:42

Yeah, we were putting out a privacy fence. And he kept pulling it to the side and I walked over there and I was like, dude, you ever seen The Three Stooges? He’s like, No, I was like, well, guess what’s gonna happen? I’m gonna poke in your damn eyes. If you poke listening to the side again. He’s like, how do I get in? Like you don’t it’s a private party. And I pulled it to the side and zip tie to shit. Yeah, but I was like, I’m gonna poke you in the eye. And I would have I would have poked him. Right. He would have been a one eyed bastard.


Mallory Gordon  16:03

Yeah. So you were essentially the guy at the gate at the Emerald study. That was good for you. That’s right. It was not a horse of a different color.


Mickey Gordon  16:10

Oh, damn it, you stole my line. That’s the only line I know. All right, what else is going on because we have a whole bunch of travels, we got a whole lot of things we’re doing that are not going to keep us from doing new episodes of casual swinger. We have the new to the next two episodes planned. And we’re gonna get through season three and get season four started for you guys without a break. So since we just took it six weeks, which is crazy.


Mallory Gordon  16:29

You heard it here, folks. You’re gonna mock and shame him if he doesn’t hold up his end of the bargain.


Mickey Gordon  16:35

All the ridicule Jesus Christ feeling I’m feeling sassy, Mrs. sassy little. So


Mallory Gordon  16:41

what are we what else we have going on? We’re going to see Derek and I can’t wait out in the Midwest to see our a couple of our favorite human beings in the planet. Hopefully it isn’t snow in July there.


Mickey Gordon  16:52

Yeah. I mean, it’s one of the two days of summer they have an Iowa Yeah. Right. So I’m looking forward to that. We’re going to St. Augustine in July, St. oggy. A couple of really actually, we’re going to couples that we adore. So we’re really excited about that.


Mallory Gordon  17:04

Yeah. And then to Nashville and August. This has been a trip that we we’ve been trying to do for it’s been a year, year and a half, almost two now.


Mickey Gordon  17:12

It was gonna be a meet and greet. And then management. Well, they didn’t go tits up. They just had to shut down. Get that that location as a church now I think, or a homeless shelter or something crazy. Okay. But there’s a new location from an edge and it’s not going to work out for this trip. So we’re just going to Nashville to see Randy Rogers band. I’m cool with that. I’ve never been to Nashville. Oh, Nashville is amazing. I can’t wait. We have two ASN awards in September.


Mallory Gordon  17:32

That’s right by our own backyard for a long weekend. middle of September, my birthday weekend, if anyone wants to show up and give me a little, you know. And then we’re going up north to the DC metro area.


Mickey Gordon  17:46

Yeah, we’re going back back to our roots back to the DC area for about a week because we’re going to be old.


Mallory Gordon  17:52

Yeah, your roots, my branches.


Mickey Gordon  17:55

And last but not least, guys, we’re going on our last trip with Rachel’s rascals two hedonism in November.


Mallory Gordon  18:02

I know I’m super excited. This is gonna be an amazing trip. I know. They’re almost sold out of rooms. I think Jim has a couple left.


Mickey Gordon  18:09

Yeah, he doesn’t have a lot. I know guys want to go on our last rascals for a while. That’s a we’re never going to wrestles again. By the way. We love the rascals. Yeah. Family. Yeah. 20s don’t have the PTO.


Mallory Gordon  18:18

Yeah, yeah. our day jobs are like, hey, by the way, you can’t take that much ever again. So yeah, we’re gonna take 2022 off at a minimum. Yeah, maybe we’ll end up at Hito at some point. time allows, that would be awesome. But


Mickey Gordon  18:32

make it work. But we can’t really do it as


Mallory Gordon  18:35

if you wanted to travel with us in the rascals both at the same time. Feel free to reach out to us. It’s casual swing, calm slash travel with us. Happy to provide you the info and get you in contact with those folks. You can book something.


Mickey Gordon  18:46

Yeah. Well, hey, we never bothered to tell anybody since this entire catch up. What? What this episode is about? Oh, yeah, we haven’t just left it off.


Mallory Gordon  18:56

Yeah. So you name this after meatloaf song, which I love you for. I would do anything for love. But I won’t do that. And we’re talking about play style dynamics, right?


Mickey Gordon  19:06

That’s right. Anything for Levin’s, but I won’t do that. Yeah, this is a play style dynamics episode where we’re gonna talk about the different dynamics. Do people endure any new dynamic that we just embarked on?


Mallory Gordon  19:16

Yeah, this has been since the last Yeah. Last. Yeah. I think since our last episode. Yeah, just barely. Yeah.


Mickey Gordon  19:23

So we did embark on a new dynamic in our play style. We’re going to talk about that we come back in just a couple of minutes. Sorry about this long intro guys. It’s been a while we’re a little rusty But hey, maybe you’ll enjoy it and hang in there with us. Mallory. As usual. Would you like to tell everybody where to find


Mallory Gordon  19:37

I can remember we are casual swinger everywhere. Guys, that’s our website. Casual swinger calm if you’d love to send us a message, feel free to email us podcast at casual swing calm and find us on social media. That’s Facebook, YouTube, Instagram and of course Twitter because it’s the only place you can post pictures anymore book and then the dating sites That’s double date, nation, as Lessons CC and Cassidy.


Mickey Gordon  20:02

That’ll do it. Ladies and gentlemen, we’ll be back in just a couple of seconds and we will talk about playstyle dynamics. You’ve been listening to casual this week. Okay, gang. Welcome back to casual swinger. My name is Mickey. And I am Mallory. I figured you guys got that shit figured out by now we’re going to talk about playstyle dynamics, the way we play in the lifestyle. It’s kind of a defining characteristic. It’s one of the first things people ask when you meet them on a on a website or on a dating service or in person that is your club. What do you fall into? What do you do? How do you play?


Mallory Gordon  20:48

Yeah, and that’s fascinating, because why is it so easy to talk about the things you’re not into? And you won’t do it? But it’s usually hard or harder for people to say what they do want.


Mickey Gordon  21:00

They almost never do and especially on places like w eight nation or STC you see, you know, we do not play separately Don’t even ask, it’s like the first thing that something African often doesn’t have, you know, single guys, right? How about that one? That one’s on a lot of profile. My favorite one is University of Sydney, you’re not allowed to use these photos? You there is no University of Sydney.


Mallory Gordon  21:20

Okay? I mean, even us we have you know, no assholes including ours. That’s true. You know, because we don’t do but you’ve been asked for Angel hadn’t asked, but I say no every time just about it. At least that’s something you’ve been asked, right? Because the only guys that want to do it have like, can get friction off a pickle jar. And I don’t want my butthole to look different the next day or our butthole. And yours. Yeah,


Mickey Gordon  21:42

you know, Matt Serra’s ears or something? Gross, big old, lumpy butthole. cauliflower crew, Okay, stop. That’s not sexy. But you know, in 15 years in the lifestyle, you know, we’ve seen so many of these warnings in the dating sites and all these things. People say that I’m not doing this. And and we’re not this, we’re not that. And I mean, don’t get me wrong, the vast majority of these profiles are beautiful. And they say we’re a soft swap couple, or we’re full swap couple and great. That’s a great way to do it. We applaud you completely. But then you go to another one. And it’s like, Don’t ever think you’re going to speak to my wife without me standing right next to you. Yeah,


Mallory Gordon  22:23

I love which is kind of a default. And we can talk about how it fit into the dynamic. We’re gonna speak about later, that you know, only group chats period. I’ve tried to talk to us individually. I know. And one pump? Well, I don’t know. Anyway, I just wanted to bring that up. Well, cuz I have seen it quite a few times. Yeah.


Mickey Gordon  22:45

And in 15 years of being in the lifestyle together, I’ve never one time to maybe maybe you’ll disagree with me. But I just kind of thought back on this when we were putting the framework of this together in our minds. We’ve never been asked to do anything behind each other’s back. I picked that guy, Adam the douchebag. In the beginning,


Mallory Gordon  23:03

I also the girl that propositioned you at one of the functions we did and said, I didn’t and hers need to know. Yeah. And that’s only recently that was only recently I saw that in the notes. And I’m like, oh, call you out on the air. Yeah, that was okay. I forgot it. But it doesn’t. It’s not common. It’s just it’s a it’s a rarity. And it’s it’s just one of those implied unspoken things.


Mickey Gordon  23:27

Yeah, at least. And did I just draw on my forehead? He did. Okay, that’s okay. I’m scratching my head with my pen. And I realize I’m scratching at the wrong but


Mallory Gordon  23:33

like, leaving your partner out of the conversation specifically, like that whole group chat only, you know, I’ve never had an experience that I was speaking directly to somebody else, whether it was the male or female in the group without one, letting it be known that that’s was what I was doing. Like, especially if it’s her, I’ll ask her, or I’ll ask her if it’s okay to text him. Oh, of course, which that’s only happened a couple times. Yeah.


Mickey Gordon  23:57

And it is something that was fairly foreign to us. And I think we discovered, we kind of like it, we kind of like be able to have a little bit of direct conversation. And the end of the way when we talk about, we’re not leaving anyone out of the conversation, it just gives you an opportunity to more directly get to know somebody that you might be getting to know intimately at some point. But the way that I personally handle it, is I just kind of assume that my conversation with this person is going to be repeated verbatim to their partner. So I would never say anything to them that I wouldn’t say if their partner wasn’t sitting right there. I think that should be everyone’s rule of thumb. Yeah, just just assume that it’s gonna be like parroted Yeah. And badly. Think about telephone, right? Think about that game. Imagine it’s gonna go off. You’re like, You’re beautiful. And you’re back. He said, I had buck teeth, but they were pretty happy. Assume No,


Mallory Gordon  24:51

I don’t know how you got from point A to point B, but I do second telephone. No, I understood that analogy.


Mickey Gordon  24:58

But I don’t think I’ve ever really heard Did anyone ask me to leave you out of the conference now until now,


Mallory Gordon  25:02

it’s a good point that we’ve never been asked to play separately unless it was already on the table or discussed prior. Yeah, that’s true. Nobody ever said it’s, well, no, you


Mickey Gordon  25:12

know what, maybe I cut my own nose off to spite my face there. Because I have had people say that we would like to play with Mallory, but not you. What’s Yeah, that’s a dress. And what’s usually Well, I mean, dating sites, their location, can we hook up with her? We’re looking for a girl and she’s hot. Like don’t even know what it look like. It’s not like they look to me or like, hey, Quasimodo, can we talk to your wife? That’s not what happened. They just were looking for a girl and they thought, hey, you’re hot. Let’s do that. And me, by the way, well,


Mallory Gordon  25:40

and maybe it was just another like in their methodology. You know, some people, you know, unicorn, you know, hunting unicorns is challenging. And maybe the lower hanging fruit is finding a female that’s allowed to play separately with a couple. I mean, we’ve we’ve seen a lot more of that dynamic in the last three or four years and we saw of unicorns That’s true.


Mickey Gordon  26:00

And I you know, what? unicorn exchange is a great playstyle


Mallory Gordon  26:03

Yeah, unicorn exchange. Yeah, that sounds like a white elephant game. Like you play Christmas Eve. Exchange right? Instead of the slot where swap it’s just this one swap. Hey, let’s talk to TdnN see if they can create like a microsite that’s just for unicorn.


Mickey Gordon  26:16

That’s actually a brilliant idea. Even Andy if you’re listening, set that shit up. Right? You know, so I guess maybe in 15 years, we’ve kind of been asked to do all those things but not egregiously you know,


Mallory Gordon  26:29

never end poor taste or bad behavior. I think the two that you mentioned are probably the the only ones that I would give that kind of notation to


Mickey Gordon  26:37

I left a big one off there. Sorry about that. But that’s okay. No, but we have been asked to do a few things that are big no nose like a bareback.


Mallory Gordon  26:46

Oh, yeah. Which is it hasn’t come up in a long time. But when it does, at my always so foreign to me, and I’m like, I don’t think um, no, definitely, most definitely not. Yeah,


Mickey Gordon  26:58

I know couples that are they’re fairly, I don’t wanna say, I don’t know what the word is because it’s not monogamous. And it’s not polyamorous because they’re not in love. And they are two couples, it’s dogmas. I don’t know what it is, but where they are kind of hooked up and they’re fluid bonded and cool. They’re the only people they’re fucking monogamous. swingers have exclusive play partners. There we go. Yeah, maybe? I mean, he and that’s cool. But you meet him at a club? No.


Mallory Gordon  27:27

Yeah. What about we’ve been asked to surprise their partner for a birthday and let’s be honest, you did that to me. For one of my birthday. I


Mickey Gordon  27:36

did. Yeah. But at the same time, it was still a four person event. I just invited them down as a surprise. Here’s our friends that we play with all the time. And we’re all gonna hang out for your and I invited a bunch of your vanilla girlfriends to Okay, that he tried to fuck


Mallory Gordon  27:52

Yes. Rewind that tape for a second. Can you imagine Put yourself in my shoes. It’s my birthday. We have the swinger couple that we had been swinging with for quite some time. He’s very gregarious. Oh my, my girl circle pole dancing friends. Yes, my girl circle there. And he was hitting on all of them. So it’s them. All my girls it was it was a melding of two worlds that oh, well, if they hadn’t figured it out, they knew that most of them were most of them had. No I don’t they weren’t there was only one


Mickey Gordon  28:25

they were sexually non monogamous experience Havers on the regular I don’t know what you want to call it. No, they weren’t don’t know the No, they weren’t only one of them was the other two found interest in it. They’re the ones that are closeted, or like to insecure now one of them ended up having experiences but the rest of him at that point she had not, I guess I am building some of those. Yeah, you’re you’re making up the story that fits your narrative and how but wow. Wow, hi, guys, Mickey’s back and he’s a dick. That’s right. The new Mickey is a penis. You know, I we have had people ask us to expand boundaries that we’ve set prior to play in the heat of the moment. Now that is, like, you know, bareback is just off the table. It’s just really awful. But we talked about, you know, people are like, oh, by the way, I know you said you wouldn’t do blah, but since we’re here anyway. Things like being offered drugs. Yeah. Yep. You know, that’s and say, Hey, well, we brought some of this with us anyway. How would you like to do that? I’m like, Yeah, I feel like I can totally trust you. What else do you have in that trench game?


Mallory Gordon  29:28

Yeah, well, I mean, and I’m not gonna be like somebody else’s young but it does change the dynamic for me. You know, if they want to do whatever they want to do, that’s fine. But it also means if they’re under the influence, I don’t feel as great about it because I won’t do it. Oh, yeah. Well, that’s a different and that’s a that’s just a personal choice for me. That’s me not judging them.


Mickey Gordon  29:46

Why can I consider drug use to be the same as alcohol, that excessive use of alcohol is a consent issue for me and I consider to be drug use the same Yeah,


Mallory Gordon  29:56

even if like everyone’s totally sober and they decide to overindulged. Yeah during Yeah, even then that makes me uncomfortable. Exactly. And I’m



not gonna judge you for it. I’m just not gonna play with you. I mean, it’s Yeah, we’ll see. We’ll see here and babysit you and bring you snacks, right? Yeah, events


Mickey Gordon  30:12

we go to or we don’t play. It has nothing to do with not winning play with people just sometimes it’s just not right. Yeah. How about and this is kind of the last one before we kind of move on? Is it the picture swapping? Oh, every fucking time you get somebody like from Kentucky who’s like, Hey, I know I don’t live anywhere near Central Florida. But let’s exchange pictures and jerk off. Can’t wait, Steve, let’s do that.


Mallory Gordon  30:31

It’s just not our bag. And it’s I guess it makes it a little foreign to us. And I think it’s more common than we really know. That pick pick exchange is a thing. Well, I don’t know. It’s kind of hot with people, you know? Yeah. But I mean, maybe it’s a little bit of a fetish one as people you don’t know. I’m not sure.


Mickey Gordon  30:48

We have some friends that are amazing photographers. And they have beautiful Oh my God. And so when they want to share photographs, it’s super sexy, but we know them. It’s not and so why are we including this in play style dynamics? Because I think for some people that is their playstyle because maybe their partner has no idea. Yeah. Maybe they’re just not into maybe their partner is the slowest person. And so they’re like, Look, let’s just do it this way. And it’ll just be hot and we can look at pictures and talk about it for a year


Mallory Gordon  31:15

plausible. We could probably come up with a six different ideas of you know what we don’t know that could be right, we make up the makeup the in between, but I do find it as an interesting or fascinating behavior. But not that I want. I want to subscribe to


Mickey Gordon  31:29

No, no, it’s I don’t do it. I mean, I do different stuff with our photographs. Anyway, I get a lot of shit online for it. I get a message probably once a week, from some morning dude going, Hey, all these other people have only fans, all these other people are showing off, you know, more TNA more explicit, you know, pussy pictures, why don’t you do that? You should do that. Send them to me. Just send me It’s okay. Just send him to me. Like Yo, my God, dude, you’re so right. Let me just send you this directory of 12,000 photos of Mallory’s vagina that I have. All right, it’s 9000. I’m not that weird. Okay. But so let’s talk about some of the different playstyles. Yes, yeah, the different ones that we’ve encountered and embarked on and what they are


Mallory Gordon  32:10

you kind of? Yeah, you kind of want to go in order from like, most common, most common or where a lot of people start, like, let’s say same room? Sure. See, maybe probably the most common place. The same room could be soft swap could be full swap, but everyone resides in plays in the same square footage area. There’s a door there, everyone’s on one side of it.


Mickey Gordon  32:30

Yeah. And I think that’s popular for safety reasons people feel comfortable. And I do think that that’s one of the biggest challenges both for women and for men for different reasons, that when you go to embark on a non monogamous adventure with another couple, what you’re doing is you’re handing the person you care about the most as a female or a male, to someone else to have intimate time with. And it’s a very vulnerable position for both parties.


Mallory Gordon  32:56

Oh, extremely. When we first started, I was definitely not comfortable being out of your eyesight. I wasn’t necessarily as concerned about keeping tabs on you. I mean, I was interested in what you were doing, but it just felt so foreign and very uncomfortable in the beginning to be outside of there. Like I remember, there was a time early on, I think you left to get like water for everybody. And in my head. I decided that you were you were gone for too long. And I remember feeling so anxious and paranoid. Someone was talking to me and it was like Charlie Brown’s teacher. Yeah. Wah wah, wah, wah. Exactly. I’m like, I know your lips are moving. But don’t understand anything you’re fucking saying right now. Is mine’s my anxieties like peaked? Yeah, I don’t I don’t know why I think it is.


Mickey Gordon  33:43

My person’s disappeared. Maybe he ran off maybe he met somebody and maybe forgot about


Mallory Gordon  33:47

No, me and my brain no be found down. You know, the stairs are being carted off in an ambulance. Definitely. No. Well, again, I guess so. She’s dead. I’m fun. I’ve always cared like you’re hurt or injured.


Mickey Gordon  34:02

You have to worry that I fall into my do a single storey building.


Mallory Gordon  34:07

That’s my worst case scenario, like you were abducted by aliens. Or I don’t know. I just worry about you.


Mickey Gordon  34:14

I’m so glad somebody does. Because the whole world out there is going god he’s an idiot. So what about group play? I think group play and people think same room but group play. What I mean by that is to some for some more some Yeah. Right. It’s it could be more than for sure. Because same room can be. I mean, one of my favorite parts about hotel rooms is they have a sex bed and sleep. Oh, yeah. But when you have a couple over there most experts, that’s true. But if you’re all in one bed, that’s group playing, okay. Right. It’s you’re all in the same space. That means you may have incidental contact. Yes, that’s my foot. Get off me. By you know,


Mallory Gordon  34:48

yeah. Which is the wrong order of those words. That should be get me off.


Mickey Gordon  34:51

That’s right. Get me love. But I do think it’s different. I think that dog pile in group play. Some people really dig it and it’s going Have a fun dynamic. Oh, yeah. Yeah. My friends that really dig it.


Mallory Gordon  35:05

Yeah, no, I love it. Because that means more hands for pets. Which I love my pets you do.


Mickey Gordon  35:13

But yeah, I personally don’t love group play. It’s not my thing, mostly because I have ADD like a motherfucker.


Mallory Gordon  35:20

Yeah, you and I have talked about that. So I think it’s add is one of the reasons you and I understand each other and yours is a little different than mine. But like we overlap and I’m not gonna say Venn diagram even though I just did. Um, there we go again, folks. Another Venn diagram from Matt, we have overlapping tendencies, so we understand each other. But your your tics and hesitations and like where you tend to refocus is totally different work than than I so. But yeah, I can see my dog pals, like, it’s good for me because I have multiple things going on that allowed me to focus on me. It’s weird, like I listen to music or watch Netflix while I work, even when I’m doing some intense research, because it allows me to focus because there’s other things going on. I don’t know how you do that same reason I need a fan on at night. I need the noise I need to that tactile feeling of the wind on my face and listen to the noise.


Mickey Gordon  36:12

Like the only time I can listen to music while I work is when I’m doing accounting for casual toys or taxes or expense reports at work when I’m doing mindless shit. I was gonna say odd number for AIFF to call it Yeah, autonomic functions. Yeah. But if I’m trying to do for JB for casual swinger, I’m working on a website working on graphics. I can’t


Mallory Gordon  36:31

Yeah, and see, the more creative or in depth it is the more I need it. But I digress. So what about separate room play? That’s another dynamic


Mickey Gordon  36:42

that is another dynamic. And we’re gonna talk a lot more about that in a minute. But, you know, separate room is something that I think a lot of people are terrified of,


Mallory Gordon  36:50

especially in the beginning, a lot of people never explore that.


Mickey Gordon  36:53

No, they don’t. And again, for a lot of reasons, there’s trust security, there’s concern for maybe something’s gonna happen that I have no control over, or maybe even just basic logistics. Like, what happens if one couple finishes? are we all going to go watch TV until they get done in that other room? It’s tough. Yeah, it’s stuff you have to communicate about beforehand. And you know, we talked about this a lot in our podcast a Palooza session, but communication is pretty goddamn key. Because things like separate room, that’s where it’s really important. I mean, you’re gonna go beat on the door and go, Hey, I came get out of there. We’re done now. Oh, that’s not how that works. But separate room is very uncommon, actually, from our experience, almost as uncommon as people talking separately and as opposed to in group chats and stuff. Interesting that you mentioned that it is but we’re gonna get back to that. Is that foreshadowing? Yes. And literature we call that foreshadowing, folks? I love you. He’s so good at this about hot wife and cut clay. Let’s talk about them.


Mallory Gordon  37:48

Yeah, I mean, obviously, that’s another dynamic right hot wife, click Play stag, vixen? Anything, you can kind of throw those under an umbrella in a way. All little different in their own sense. But when one player goes out, player, a player a player don’t hate the player hate the game. When one player three is in the game, are we gonna make you explain it? When when one spouse of the couple goes out and plays with another individual or even another a couple of times, or? Yeah, no,


Mickey Gordon  38:22

it is well and so it can be cocky can be cut Queen, cut queen is a female cook. By the way for those that don’t know what that is. But yeah, it’s it’s when one person goes out and plays and the other one gets hella turned on by it and stays home and tries out like hell not to spank their monkey because they want to bug the crap out of their partner when they get home. It’s actually extremely common.


Mallory Gordon  38:43

Yeah, it’s more common than I would have thought. 15 years ago.


Mickey Gordon  38:49

Yeah. It’s outrageously common. Yeah. And how about soft swap full swap oral only? Right. It’s i think i think we that’s all kind of know what those things are. The weird one for me is where people are like oral only Yeah, like don’t touch me down there. But you can kiss it and I we’ve actually had a couple they don’t kiss me. Yes. Don’t get me. It’s all me on the poster. You can hear touch it.


Mallory Gordon  39:16

You can kiss me where it smells funny. But definitely a lot on the lips. Sure.


Mickey Gordon  39:21

I get it. I guess I don’t understand it. I’m not gonna do it. I don’t think it should smell funny. No, it doesn’t smell your smells delicious. Thanks. Yeah. Like, like fairies are down there. It’s going here have fairy dust. Nice. rainbows and sunshine. Yes. Oh, no. rainbows are unicorn farts. Yours don’t smell like unicorn farts.


Mallory Gordon  39:39

Yeah. And then there’s the other dynamic and it’s usually like the disclaimer dynamic. Right? Right. I would do we can do all of the things anything but insert what’s only reserved for my spouse here


Mickey Gordon  39:53

that like kissing. Kissing is a great example of that. Yeah, I only kissed my partner. You know, I can’t I cannot have sex without kissing. I just Kid,


Mallory Gordon  40:00

I can’t, I cannot find. I can’t even imagine trying to find a level of sexual draw desire to someone that I can’t kiss because it’s a precursor. Like when you kiss someone, that’s when the wheels start turning, and you start to anticipate what kind of lover they could potentially be. Yeah, that’s that first gate


Mickey Gordon  40:21

fetish. Well, that’s it, they can’t kiss your face. They’re not going to kiss your pussy worth a damn. That’s a good point, right? Because if they’re too rough, if they’re like, chomping on your cheek or something, or


Mallory Gordon  40:32

biting your tongue, I’ve had somebody do that before, which is very strange.


Mickey Gordon  40:35

I go, like, Oh, my tongue. Or how about reserving like, things that the spouse won’t do? Like? Like, for example, I we’ve actually had this conversation, maybe where some playstyle is, I’m really looking for anal, because my wife won’t do it. And my wife’s totally fine with it. She’s right here, see? And she goes, Yeah, you’re right. I won’t, but you can.


Mallory Gordon  40:54

Or the opposite, because I’m uncomfortable with it. It’s not part of our dynamic in or out of this situation.


Mickey Gordon  41:01

Yeah. So and again, that a lot of this sounds like yucking, somebody else’s yum. And I promise it’s not. It’s just kind of an overview of some of those different dynamics that are out there. They’re all okay, if everyone involved is okay with it. Sure. But if not, everybody’s okay with it. Where’s the where’s this come in? failures of communication. So what ends up happening is because you’re afraid of how people are going to react, people don’t like what you’re going to say, maybe you think that they’re not going to be okay with it. Maybe you hold it back, and then you end up asking for it in the heat of the moment. And that’s how that first thing happens that we talked about earlier in the segment, that now in the heat of the moment, you bring something up, that’s all new, that’s a terrible time to introduce something new. If you didn’t communicate it about it beforehand, then probably shouldn’t communicate about it while you’re having sex. Right? don’t pop new shit on partners and swinging. That’s


Mallory Gordon  41:53

not a good idea. Yeah, no, no, yeah. No, that’s, that’s terrible idea. And so where are we even talking about this? Because I think that overview went a little long. We have a fucking point to this. I don’t care. We haven’t done a show in six weeks, they’re probably gonna forgive us for it. So how about let’s ask a question, Where are we with our exploration? shoots happened in the last six weeks? Yeah. Yeah. I love that. We’re still doing new things over these years. But I’m also shocked that we it took us this long to explore it, and maybe it was just the right time, the right people.


Mickey Gordon  42:22

That’s what I think is gonna happen here in a second, we are going to let our listeners know that there’s something that we hadn’t done before, and they will probably have assume that we did. That’s true. And it’s probably going to be a little shocking.


Mallory Gordon  42:36

Okay, are we gonna give it to them? Because we’re not due for a break. All right, let’s give it to them. Okay, so, since we last spoke to all of you, we actually had legit separate room play. Yeah. And I say legit, because we’ve had play where maybe you were on the main level doing something else. And I was still there. And it’s it’s kind of open air like in reference to our domicile? Sure. And I’ve gone out and done the single guy hot wife thing. But that’s not really separate room because you’re home or elsewhere doing non swinger things. Yeah, they were in it was normal. Yeah,


Mickey Gordon  43:12

I thought it would be very normal transition. But it’s still kind of came out. Like, like, don’t like we all huddled was like okay, and break. And?


Mallory Gordon  43:21

Yeah, yeah, kind of a little bit. But it wasn’t weird. It wasn’t weird. So Woody. So what do we think of it? What? How did how did that transpire?


Mickey Gordon  43:30

I kind of want to hear your thoughts on that. First.


Mallory Gordon  43:34

Okay. So I thought it was amazing. Actually, I very much enjoyed it. I had some reservations, of course, because it’s anything new. Right? You it’s an unknown quantity. So you don’t know what to expect after the fact. Right. And we’ve done such a good job at connecting with these folks. And that leads into something we foreshadowed, folks, is that we actually had an opportunity to engage with them individually. Yeah. And almost like a three way conversation. So we had a group chat with all of us in one place. You know, I would talk to her, I would talk to him, you would talk to her and you kind of talk to him a little bit, I believe. Yeah. Yeah, I like him. He’s a good guy. But we got to know each other a little more intimately. You know, leading up to them coming here, or meeting up? Yeah. And I think it actually helped a lot to establish this foundation and comfort level.


Mickey Gordon  44:33

Here’s what I liked about it. What it allowed us to take very different paths from point A to point B, when a group chat, people tend to follow the leader. So if things get naughty, then it’s a naughty chat for everybody. Yeah. But when you have that separate, segregated conversation, you can move, the two people might move slower than the other two people in terms of their path to being a little more risque or a little more I get it. But we all still arrived at the same place. We just arrived there at different times, which I thought was really interesting.


Mallory Gordon  45:07

Yeah. And I mean, it allowed us because when you think about it from a strategic in this sounds really kidzone candor and authentic in a way, but from a strategic perspective, you want to give the best opportunity to connect with that individual that you’re primarily going to be sleeping with. It’s not your partner. Yeah. And I think that really opened the door, because for me group chats, everyone’s schedules a little different. So I had trouble following and being on the same page as everyone else, when you reduce the number of people to just one other person and the person you’re praying to, nobody gets left behind. And then the two of you are going at your own pace. Yeah. And what was great is everyone was communicating and kind of giving, like summaries or bullet points that are up to date, because we’ve had problems with that in the past where we’ve independently spoken with one person. And they didn’t tell the other person like, you know, you never know how someone’s gonna feel about some things. Let’s trigger and, you know, even they’re just words, they can hurt sometimes. Oh, or be an issue. And this was not the case. It was absolutely wonderful.


Mickey Gordon  46:15

Yeah, it’s, I think it is, and I think we, we kind of covered what was good about it, was there anything bad about it from your perspective that would that would lead us to, we don’t want to do that, again, that plays out and work for us, or the lead into that play style wasn’t effective for us?


Mallory Gordon  46:30

You know, I will update you, if I identify anything that I can say was bad or negative or even indifferent to, yeah, um, nothing’s coming to mind me


Mickey Gordon  46:43

either. I can tell you that. For me. It was a lot of confetti in the air like it. Yeah, it was really good for me, because I have ADD like a motherfucker. So I said that earlier. And it really let me focus on the other person a little bit, which made it a lot more intimate, especially for that person, because I think she needed that. And I think I would absolutely do it again. Matter of fact, I’m looking forward to doing it again. And I think you’re as well. That I am as well, what looking forward to doing it again. Are you paying attention? Are


Mallory Gordon  47:10

you I am you swallowing something? I don’t know, an Egor? I don’t know. I missed that.


Mickey Gordon  47:16

But yeah, I’m looking forward to doing it again, because I think everything about it was great. And the last thing that I have for you is why in the hell have we done that before?


Mallory Gordon  47:24

You know, after all these years, I look back and I’m thinking the same thing. We’ve had some very close relationships. And I don’t know if it was a reflection of the other couples dynamic or that we just never asked or really thought about it. That or that intentionally. Because for us, we’ve only really pursued like, the hot wife kind of aspects. Because that does feed. You and I in a very personal and intimate environment. So dirty for us. And we’ve we love it. Yeah, I’m not really sure I came up with nothing when we were going through the notes on this. Yeah. I came up with it. There’s no I don’t. I don’t know if there was if we had any walls up with that. Do you think you did?


Mickey Gordon  48:12

I think that I had a irrational fear of a dynamic forming that never formed, I think I had an irrational fear that we would lose communicative points that we would lose the group dynamic that it would become about two separate relationships and not the group. And I think what we did really well was maintain that group chat as well as the individual chats.


Mallory Gordon  48:36

Yeah, we didn’t nurture the conversations as a whole. And just like we nurtured the playtime as a whole because it wasn’t just separate room play. I mean, we actually led with it, which was kind of funny. And like, in hindsight, but we also had group play. And it, it was actually a good physical reflection of the conversations we were having. Right? It was, it was fun. It was it was interesting, because I think she led the charge and the initial play separate. And then he did as well. And I was really proud of them. And for many reasons that we won’t get into that. They were kind of like the ringleaders there. And then we we did the group play thing, and it was almost poetic. It was beautiful. Yeah, I


Mickey Gordon  49:21

wish they’d come to podcasts of blues, I think we would have had a lot of fun. We probably would have been a lot less useful to all the attendees.


Mallory Gordon  49:26

I was gonna say we would have not been as hopeful or as present probably. Really, where’s the MC he’s in his room. And a lot of sex anyway.


Mickey Gordon  49:36

Well, what are your thoughts on transitioning between playstyles because, you know, I think everybody starts somewhere some people start soft and seem room or or oral only or they start girl girl only, right? I mean, they were there. Everybody’s got some list of fucked up rules when they get started. We did everybody else has.


Mallory Gordon  49:56

I don’t want to call them fucked up because everyone I mean, if it’s their rules, it’s a prerogative. Sure.


Mickey Gordon  50:00

But is there a way to progress between playstyles? If you wanted to do so in your opinion?


Mallory Gordon  50:04

I mean, sure there is. I mean, we did it. Of course there is, but it’s got to be ever the slowest person’s pace, right? I just think it’s crazy that we haven’t ever really done it before. It’s so mind blowing to me. It’s


Mickey Gordon  50:20

equally mind blowing, would you do it again, I would 100% do it again, even necessarily, with a different couple, but with some caveats. Okay, then obviously, with that couple because it worked out magically was fantastic. So of course, I’m going to do it again. But with, you know, the caveats for a new couple are that we do maintain that group dynamic, and that we let everybody know, they know that we do talk to each other, we are going to communicate wholly and completely we’re going to communicate for ways and make sure that everybody’s on the same page and find out what all of us want from our playtime. Yeah, right. What are you looking for? What you know, what scares you? Because I think irrational fear is the thing that grenades a good time. It really does.


Mallory Gordon  51:06

Yeah, no, I get that. And I don’t know, this is something we could blink, blink it do with just about anyone, per se, right, because everyone’s got their own, you know, rules and regulations and comfort zones. But if we are I do like the approach we took, I think it made it comfortable, more comfortable for all parties. And I think it led to better sex to Oh, God.


Mickey Gordon  51:25

Yes. It was awesome. Yeah, but you know, I will tell you the thing that always kind of stopped me over the years, because I’ve been in the lifestyle very long time. And I’ve done some separate room stuff, you know, before you. And the thing that I always I always go back to and I always think about is how much do I trust this person with the person I love the most. Okay. And I think that’s one of the barriers for people is is my spouse, wife, girlfriend, fuck, buddy, whatever, are they going to be? Okay. And if you are worried about it, you probably shouldn’t be playing with a couple at all. Yeah, and I think the, in my opinion, that’s just my humble opinion. Can


Mallory Gordon  52:02

I get into my experience? I think it was the second time we had departed to do separate room pleasure show to talk. Yeah, so there was a little unexpected anxiety but it was a blend of anxiety and excitement and the best way and God I hope there’s people out there that watch tik tok that know who this person is because this is the I know, I can paint the picture. So there is a woman on tik tok, and she does these sleepwalking videos or no it is silliness. Spooky boo. she the one that farts? Yes. But I did not fart. So you guys are still up there. We had just finished at least like the first or second round. And I went to come like inspections like checking and reading and get waters and all these things. And I’m literally like Scooby Doo gang like tttt tttt, the main floor and like, I want to celebrate all of the things that have just happened. But I’m also not sure of like what I’m supposed to do with myself and what the next steps are. So it was like a robot ran out of the room, grab some water, come back in, lay back down, take the robot hang out, maybe learn a little bit. Get up, put the robe back on, run out giggle look for people. No one come back to the room. Like it was. It was a lot like her videos when she’s in that euphoric state. And she’s just running around giggling and like, going in the fridge and offering inanimate objects like drinks. That was that was pretty much me. Yeah.


Mickey Gordon  53:27

Meanwhile, I’m upstairs doing nothing playing checkers. Yeah, well with a pillow over her face because she was loud. I’m gonna call her checkers from now on. I was playing checkers. Look, if your add is Fuck, like I am, I will say this, that you’re transitioning to a separate room playtime is actually pretty beneficial. It was beneficial for me because you know, when we are in a group dynamic or steam room dynamic, I tend to focus on Mallory,


Mallory Gordon  53:54

okay. And I love that I’m your favorites, human being and I love that you’re so interested, and my pleasure and my happiness, that that’s a part of it. But I have, I do feel like it’s a hindrance on your own pleasure, because then you focus there takes away from your partner. But it also could potentially take away from your ability to get off. It does every time. And when we were talking about the separate play. I’m like, you know, I would really love to see how this impacts your ability to have more orgasms. Yeah,


Mickey Gordon  54:30

I think it does impact it. One of the things that I remember is obviously a few weeks ago, but one of the things I remember the most is that I had zero trouble I normally like condoms are an issue right and unique condom has been a huge boon for me. The unique condoms are the most sensitive condom I’ve ever felt. So I think it was a combination of the unique condoms and the separate room right? But are you gonna tell you’re gonna make jokes about the fucking labels on the condoms? I know. But those condoms And the separate room made it to where I had no reptile issues at all like I was harder than Chinese algebra the whole fucking time. I was I was as hard as on naturale


Mallory Gordon  55:09

man, like all natural like you were ready to go with it. I know nothing. I was super excited for that. That was wonderful. You know, I enjoyed using the condoms as well. It definitely helps me a lot of them. You owe me money. I was lucky. That was rude. But one of the best parts was picking the stickers off your guys’s butts and balls because apparently as girls are you guys when like I put them on every time. I think he kind of liked it. But they never failed like, because it’s Dickerson you’re crevasses.


Mickey Gordon  55:51

I know I had one of my ball sack in the shower. And I was like, why do I have a green sticker? There’s one I can’t remember whose button was on. But it’s the sticker. See insert penis here. Oh, no, it was the best flick. It’s not close to taking a picture. Definitely not my button. Alright, well look, we’re gonna come back in just a hot second for you guys. I This episode is going to run just a couple of minutes long. But we don’t want to leave this out. We’re gonna come back and talk a Mallory’s toy box. We’re going to talk about the poem power extreme. It’s a new one. So awesome. Yeah, Mallory is going to talk all about this. I am



I was a little scared of it. Not gonna lie. But we’ll get into that all new stuff. Mallory want to let everybody know where to find us. And we’ll be back in a whole second.


Mallory Gordon  56:31

Yeah, we’re casual swimmer everywhere. It’s casual swing, calm, you can reach out to us podcast at casual swinger calm. If you like us want to leave us some love notes. Feel free to do that on iTunes. let other people know that we’re great. We’re also on social media. That’s Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. And you can find us on the dating apps as well. That’s why Celeste sec and Cassidy.


Mickey Gordon  56:56

You know, it’s funny. I sit over here and I mock you for this like in my head. And I know that I could never do what you do. I could never get all that.


Mallory Gordon  57:02

Yeah. And he tried to distract me by counting and like trying to recite it or move your lips the same time as me. I’m an awful person. Yeah, I


Mickey Gordon  57:09

don’t know why you love me or suck my penis. That’s a great penis. There it is, folks. He’s got a great penis and he and his penis. We’ll be back with the beautiful Mallory in just a second. You’ve been listening to casually.


Mallory Gordon  57:35

Hey, guys, welcome back to casual swinger. It’s Mallory again. Did you get confused about what show this is? Oh, well, back to you. Casual I didn’t say. No, you didn’t. I did though. Jerk. Hey, welcome to my box. I love your box. Do you like to see what’s inside my box today? A few things inside your box in the last six weeks? That’s true. I’ve been playing with a lot of different things. Mm hmm. Yum, yum. Mallory’s toy box? Yeah. So yeah, we’re gonna do a toy box session because I feel rather spoiled these days. I got a few new toys over the last, you know, six weeks that we’ve been on hiatus unbeknownst to our listeners, you have a stack of toys I do. And this one I’m really excited about. You know, I’m a big proponent and supporter of the womanizer, that thing has changed my life. And I still love my ones I just struggled to use ones during play. Because of the ergonomics of it and the placement of it because of typically where I like to have the dual stimulation. I’m usually on my knees or face down or on my side. So it’s a curved like we’re spooning essentially, while we’re fucking are you doing me doggy style, but you used to use a wand every time I used to. Yeah, I used to use the nachi. And it just got to the point that was too cumbersome. To do so to hold the angles, right. And we placed Ray and I got so clunky that it was frustrating. It was actually taken away from potential natural orgasms. And oh, it was just a nightmare. That’s when we actually got the wedge because a wedge had the Hitachi o hole for it. Which is amazing. But it’s still not useful except for in that one position. Yeah, that’s right. We hadn’t figured like I’ve tried to bear hug it. Down face up. Yeah. That’s sitting, isn’t it? Looking at you, Derek. Yeah, so we found this toy. Actually, you found this toy and surprise me with it. There was a little goodie bag that was waiting for me when I get home. And it’s called a poem power extreme. And I keep on I call it a Palm Pilot. I know that’s like something totally else. It’s a utilitarian and outdated archaic tool. Now Ellery has dated herself. Hey, did everyone should date themselves. You do see sex toys all the time. But what I love about this, so it’s a one, but it’s a tilted one. Like it’s got it’s got an angled head. It does. And I was right before we started recording this. I was like, I don’t know how to describe it. You That hockey stick or a golf club, and yeah, that’s kind of the nature of it. So the head is perpendicular almost to the handle. It’s about a 4550 degree angle from the handle. Yeah. And it’s actually a really great angle. So if I’m laying on my belly or on my side, I don’t have to put my wrist in my hand in an uncomfortable position to make contact to where I feel is natural and comfortable for me. You can almost lay it flat on your belly. I could almost lay flat on my belly. You’re correct. Yeah, yes, almost lay flat on my belly and have this right underneath. It’s got a little bit of height to it. So I do have to like kick my hips up a little bit or use a pillow, which is or a wedge, which is kind of my go to like the little soft wedge, not the big wedge. But what I love about this is it’s got a few things going for it is water resistant. So no, don’t take it in the bathtub. It’s not submergible but you know, if I was in the shower if you’re squirter totally fine. Okay, yeah, silicone head. It’s got a silicone head. It’s USB rechargeable, which is kind of a half, two, there’s not many battery operated toys out there that, you know, I would go to, you know, the maps for these days. rechargeables kind of everything in my toy bag right now.


Mickey Gordon  1:01:09

You know what I noticed about the rechargeable part though? It’s a micro USB.


Mallory Gordon  1:01:12

Micro USB. Yeah. So like regular old your phone charger can return? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I don’t turn it on dad. It’s super super, this why it is super quiet. I’m kidding. And I’ve been sitting here for so it’s got seven functions, which means it’s got certain degrees of level right as far as the intensity, the vibration, and then pattern vibration to it, right. So may do some short bursts and long bursts, then pause and some short bursts and long burst and pause and the intensities are, you know, different. I’m not a mode girl or function girl. But because I get really annoyed because right when I feel like I’m gonna edit pauses, or it’s like when you tell your partner Oh, that feels so good. Keep doing that. And then they stop and they do something else. That’s kind of what it feels like. To me that’s doing intensity is really, really nice. So it’s got a nice scale. And what I love about this, so it’s got an on and off button. And if you hold on, there’s a function button. So it’s really simple. On function, good to go. Nice. But if you hold down the function button, what it will do is it started a low intensity, and then gradually increase the high intensity. So it’s almost no thought involved. It’s cool if I wanted to increase or decrease it. So I absolutely fucking love that. And what’s even better, easy instructions on how to lock the damn thing. So if Yeah, and I love traveling with a couple vibrators, I need them and when I’m traveling because I never have an opportunity to go out on my own when I’m out for work. So I’m going to 100% be masturbating in my hotel room by myself. And there’s nothing more embarrassing than when they pull your fucking suitcase out of the overhead compartment and go Whose is this? And everyone on the plane can hear it vibrating asked me how I know Oh, God, I wish I was there. And it’s and I can’t be like y’all whacking off and I can’t be like that’s my toothbrush cuz I don’t bring me electric Run with me.


Mickey Gordon  1:03:06

Sure, ma’am. That’s your toothbrush. So how do you compare the palm power extreme? And I said that, like, all the keywords are extreme. How do you compare that to the doxy, which is our like most favorite one.


Mallory Gordon  1:03:19

So I love the doxy wand, it’s similar weight, if it were a sword, and I’ve just we’ve watched fortune and fire lately, the balance is different. This is definitely heavier at the head because it’s got a high quality silicone flexible head. And I believe the motor is located right behind it. But it makes the handle nice and light, where the doxy it’s more balanced. You feel like equal weight distribution. Sure. So if I’m masturbating, it’s kind of a toss up between the two. It’s whether I like the standard wand sensation because the docks has got a higher RPM to it. So the vibrations feel different, even on low it’s think about when you’re going down on someone and it’s the same amount of pressure, but the cadence of the tongue flicking changes. I mean, I don’t know if really, as far as physics goes, that’s the best analogy. But that’s all I got right now. The docs is so wonderful. The head is not as flexible on the doxy. This has a little more play to it. But it still has stability. So it’s still firm enough to keep in place. I’ve had vibrators where the head just totally flexes backward. And you have to like write it like a bowl, just to kind of keep it in place if you’re you know, hitting the right spots.


Mickey Gordon  1:04:35

So for straight masturbation. Would you still go with the doxy because of its build quality battery life


Mallory Gordon  1:04:41

sucks is still gonna be one of my favorites, hands down. And I actually think it’s essentially replaced my Hitachi because and I love the Dachi It’s great. It’s just so fucking big. Yes. And then I look at like, like I’m an average size woman. I’m only five five. I say only but that’s another tall For short, I’m right in the middle. But like I think of smaller women with smaller hands trying to use a Hitachi and that’s got to be extremely cumbersome holding times Unless, you know, they’re like, you know, super built and have really strong risks. And, you know, I don’t know like, I’m all about more comfort. I feel like that episode of Grayson, Frankie I can’t even think of it. It’s a Netflix show, I watched with Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda. And they created this vibrator for old lady older ladies because they have issues with like carpal tunnel and arthritis and everything. And I’m kind of, I’m getting to a point where comfort is, is it important, just as important as quality as well. And that’s why I love the doxy I really like this I actually have only played with myself. So I’m looking forward to a session tonight to see how it does under pressure. So more to come, folks. Yeah, see what I did there. But as a masturbation toy, this is absolutely fantastic. And I would, it’s not so big that I wouldn’t travel with it. I’ve never traveled with my Hitachi even the rechargeable one because it is fairly large and I’m carry on only if I can get away with a girl and this won’t impede that. And it’s got to travel. And it’s got a travel lock which is a big deal. It’s a huge deal. I hate being embarrassed


Mickey Gordon  1:06:18

sorry captain. That’s just my vibrate Yeah, well there you go folks. That is the pomp our extreme that is a toy that is available on casual you can check it out in our brand new fancy ass search engine. The upper left hand corner if you click search you can even spell that shit wrong. It will bring up the right toy for you at the right time and look for any Yeah, what I love that new search engine Yeah, to use it.


Mallory Gordon  1:06:40

And I’ll tell you what, like the the doxy retails for what $220 Exactly. So it’s a it’s a pretty high end toy. This is half that 103 50 Yes Have that cost and if you reach out or use our ambassador or affiliate links codes, save some cash on it too. So this is so high quality item at a lesser cost. Sure.


Mickey Gordon  1:07:01

I think it’s a great thing. And make sure to check out those ambassadors of ours for casual toys. There’s ambassadors are alleycat and honey spoon in the baby pineapple at twitter. Yeah, you can find them on Twitter. So harass them those ladies have done a great job for us out there just honestly answering questions for you guys. That’s why they’re ambassadors. Yeah, they do a lot with our laundry lines a lot. And we have a lot of kisses back in stock. Oh yeah, lots of kicks. These are back in stock. So that’s kind of a big deal. And also we carry Levin’s now.


Mallory Gordon  1:07:29

Those are so correct me if I’m wrong. Levin’s is one of those Apotex toys that we’ve seen on like only fan sites and like chatterbait and stuff like that we got some pink sticking out of the posi elevens I have a little man in the boat that’s very very pink.


Mickey Gordon  1:07:45

Well that’s that’s loving. But yeah, no Levin’s is she’s right. That’s the chatterbait all the rage because people can control it remotely. And so all the elevens app actually lets you connect to sites like chatterbait Pornhub I think has a plugin for it where you can actually okay you know that connect with your listeners your followers so if you are a creator out there Levin’s make some great products and we carry them all in casual now that’s awesome. I’m pretty excited about it. You want to tell everybody how to how to find us we can get out of this long you know, you can make it a short one because we’ve only been here about 10 minutes for Toy Box


Mallory Gordon  1:08:19

guys, we fucking missed you. Thanks for hanging in there with us. We’re gonna get you know, get back up to speed here and hold Mickey to his word. We’re casual swinger everywhere. Please feel free to shoot us a note if you have any questions or comments podcasts at casual swinger Comm. You’d find us on social media, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and YouTube or on the dating sites. W nation Cassidy SLS in Assisi.


Mickey Gordon  1:08:39

She’s gotten better at it as the episode has gone along. Join us next time, folks, when we’re going to bring our friends the monogamous marriage. You’re going to join us for the next episode. As we wrap up season three. You’ve been listening to the swinger

Hearing impaired? This podcast is transcribed for your convenience.

Edit Content


Meet the New Boss

Thu, 9/2 10:03AM • 1:02:05


people, swinger, casual, condoms, resort, hear, fun, talking, christmas, hedonism, hito, listening, liberator, lifestyle, podcast, toys, business, love, nice, episode


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism, Mickey Gordon, Mallory Gordon


Mallory Gordon  00:02

You’re listening to the casual swinger podcast. As your hosts, we need to warn you that the material you’re about to hear may be sexual or explicit in nature. This podcast is intended for an adult audience. Now we don’t expect you to act like adults. What’s the fun in that?


Mickey Gordon  00:16

We’re a married couple living in Florida with over 13 years of experience in the lifestyle and we take almost nothing seriously. Casual swingers a variety show meaning we’ll cover everything from music to events, travel, and even the occasional hilarious screw up. Our show was about entertainment. We’re not licensed professionals had anything and our stories, commentary and guidance should not be confused with the opinions of a licensed professional.


Mallory Gordon  00:41

Now that you know, let’s take those pants off and get comfy. Welcome back to another episode of casual swinger. I’m your co host Mallory.


Mickey Gordon  00:55

I’m just gonna sit here.


Mallory Gordon  00:57

Introduce yourself. Oh,


Mickey Gordon  00:59

oh, hi. Oh, Mickey.


Mallory Gordon  01:00

I’m Mickey.


Mickey Gordon  01:02

I’m your


Mallory Gordon  01:03

Yeah, a little bit. Thanks to see you again. It’s been a while I’ve missed you.


Mickey Gordon  01:07

It’s been a while since we’ve been in these chairs. Yeah, I



know. Well, no,


Mickey Gordon  01:10

we think that we expected to take the little hiatus we did. But we got back from our trip. And we were just, we needed to reset. Yeah, calm down a little bit and recover. We’ve been so busy leading up to the trip and meeting new people. And then the trip was just crazy town.


Mallory Gordon  01:28

Yeah, man. And we’ll get into that a little bit later. So we titled this Episode Episode 13 of season three. Meet the new boss. Yeah, another


Mickey Gordon  01:37

song title episode. Oh, love it.


Mallory Gordon  01:39

And who is that? Who’s that? Sick. Come on a bunny is the who I know. That’s why I see that by I got it.


Mickey Gordon  01:50

A little slow. I mean, we’re here to told you. I’m in a bad mood today.


Mallory Gordon  01:53

I’m sorry. You’re in a bad mood.


Mickey Gordon  01:55

Sorry. But it’s true. But yes, we did interview with Dermot de lucre for this episode. And we got to sit down and we were actually the first people to sit down with this was his first day at the resort


Mallory Gordon  02:08

literally day one. So


Mickey Gordon  02:09

we were the first podcast the first anybody to interview Dermot, which I think was really cool. But we kind of sat on it. We didn’t release this. And I think it was important for us. Of course, we needed the reset. But you know, we got home and just the world was going COVID crazy.


Mallory Gordon  02:26

Everything was going crazy. I mean, the temperature of the climate post election COVID. And then, you know, shit in our personal lives. It was just it was a lot to take in. And it was so shocking to the system. When we got back that we had to take that step back. And we thought it was the right decision once again to pull back and go we’re not going to do this just yet. It doesn’t feel right just yet.


Mickey Gordon  02:47

Yeah. And I think it the other thing is we didn’t want to really come across like we were celebrating that we were at Hito. Yeah, everybody else is stuck at home and Exactly. But it is Derm. It’s It was during its first day, and he has a lot to bring and a lot to offer. And I think a lot of people want to know who he is and who they’re going to be dealing with whether you’re a group leader listening to the show, or somebody that just goes to Hito as a customer guest rather. But I think that everybody’s going to benefit a little bit from hearing some of the unique things about this guy. And, you know, Kevin Levy, who was the prior GM, hedonism, really, I mean, he was long term long tenure. You know, the staff knew him very well and knew how to work with him. So I think everybody wants to know more about this guy, and how they’re going to be able to work with him and what he’s going to bring that’s different than the previous GM.


Mallory Gordon  03:39

Oh, absolutely. And Kevin literally grew up at Hito. I mean, that he had been there so long. And so when the old guard and you know, and it changed to the new guard. What I really loved about Dermot is upon our first meeting, he’s very warm, very open and very accessible.


Mickey Gordon  03:57

Oh, very. And you see him all over the resort. He’s everywhere.


Mallory Gordon  03:59

I feel like some of the culture is going to change for the better, which it’s already a fantastic culture when you go there, and the staff is just absolutely amazing. But I think it’s going to change some things for them in a good way.


Mickey Gordon  04:13

Yep, I think so too. And I think that his experience in history and five stars, like the Mandarin Oriental, for example, which is a legendary hotel, being a manager at that hotel, and then coming to Hito, which, you know, obviously he does not going to be a five star it was something I was concerned about, like are you going to turn this place into a five star or five star prices? And his answer is in the interview. I’m not going to give it to you right now. But that was something I was really concerned about as a guest is you know, it’s already and one of the most common things we hear from our listeners who go hey, we really want to go to heater with you but holy shit, that’s a lot of money. Yeah. And it isn’t if you look at everything you get, but you know, if you’re not a drinker, then it’s it’s not as valuable. If you’re not a scuba diver, it’s not as valuable. There’s things that deteriorate. That value. Sure. And if you’re going to a resort that’s already expensive and find out they’re going to raise the prices to become a five star that would be terrifying. So,


Mallory Gordon  05:09

no, that’s a those are excellent points. And I’m going to give a little spoiler away because this just made me laugh every time like we go back and re listen to the interview is that he apologizes for not being a swinger? I know right. Seems to be a thing.


Mickey Gordon  05:22

Why does everybody apologize to us for not being a swinger? It happened on consenting adults, and it’s happened it’s happened so many they’re like, you just make it seem so normal. Oh, the alabaster scrotum? Yeah, he was like, I feel like I should apologize for not being a swinger before people keep doing


Mallory Gordon  05:38

I don’t know. But I hope it’s, I hope it’s a positive thing where we’re taking the taboo and we are normalizing it like that’s how I want to feel. I really hate to think that we’re out that there’s something wrong with you because you like monogamy, right? You suck. You


Mickey Gordon  05:54

hear weird? Well, maybe we’re just the word and June cleaver of the lifestyle where he’s like, Oh, well, you guys are so normal.


Mallory Gordon  06:02

Hey, that’s okay. Yeah, I wouldn’t mind that.


Mickey Gordon  06:05

I was busted every knuckle this weekend working on stuff in the garage. So I was doing a lot of cussing. That’s what normal guys do like word cleaver. He cusses in the garage. Really? drinks and


Mallory Gordon  06:15

they just cut that out of the episode.


Mickey Gordon  06:16

Yeah, he screams machinery in the garage.


Mallory Gordon  06:20

Right on.


Mickey Gordon  06:21

I’ve decided that’s what


Mallory Gordon  06:22

Okay, okay, I’ll play your silly game.


Mickey Gordon  06:24

Yeah, well, anyway,


Mallory Gordon  06:26

well, June’s masturbating in the kitchen between you know, meals.


Mickey Gordon  06:29

She’s writing on the dryer. The washer in the spin cycle. That’s right. Anyway, so yeah, we have been quiet lately guys. We came back from from our trip and just needed to reset. We’d been really busy and going on a bunch of dates and hung out with people. We just kind of told everybody.


Mallory Gordon  06:48

Right, yeah. Yeah. And I mean, we had a lot of personal stuff going on. Let’s be really fucking transparent here. Holidays are hard for you and I emotionally mentally right. You know, we’ve had a lot of loss over the years and it’s just, it’s tough, right? And I’m over here. overcompensating, it literally looks like Christmas. Our house all I’ve done is decorate


Mickey Gordon  07:10

our house looks like Macy’s is like, Hey, we got a bunch of extra shit. Let’s just hang it all in your house. It’s, we have how many six fucking Christmas trees


Mallory Gordon  07:19

why you say that? And people are gonna think I have like 612 foot trees in our house. And I don’t I mean, some of them are smaller, but we do have quite a few.


Mickey Gordon  07:27

One of them is legitimately Charlie Brown’s Christmas.


Mallory Gordon  07:29

It is it is a little branch. It’s one little ornament. It’s adorable. I love Charlie Brown near my Charlie Brown.


Mickey Gordon  07:34

Oh, my I’m definitely Charlie Brown.


Mallory Gordon  07:36

I love you. Anyway, but


Mickey Gordon  07:38

let’s talk about casual toys for a minute. Because we got some things we got to give people a hell of a lot of things. Yeah, we really do.


Mallory Gordon  07:47

Yeah. You know, we’ve seen a lot of people like, you know, purchasing on the site. We’ve sold the whole bags, which I’m so excited for those because I really put my heart and soul into them. And I you know, I love it. When we indirectly give people orgasms like they get it feeds part of my soul.


Mickey Gordon  08:05

Oh no, every time we hand out when we go to the resorts or whatever, we give out vibrators really here. I’m responsible for your next orgasm.


Mallory Gordon  08:11

Yeah, and we’ve been talking to a lot of people and giving advice or at least recommendations or helping them kind of sort out what they think you know, as best in and in and of itself. That’s a lot of fun to do as well.


Mickey Gordon  08:22

It is I really love helping people and they do reach out right there on casual toys calm in the bottom right hand corner is a little chat bubble. And that goes more or less directly to our cell phones. And we’re able to give you guys some guidance and some direction on what you’re looking for whether it’s a gift or whether it’s something for yourself but the thing I really want to thank people for is just the support the shares from our fellow content creators through Yeah, just that I mean double date nation has had a casual toys ad running at the top of it for like four months. Now those guys are amazing. We don’t pay them a dime. You know, our friend Mike at ASN magazine has been promoting casual toys as well and casual swingers. Well, you know, this year has been a banner year for casual swinger in casual toys. We’ve had so much growth, we’ve had so many new people talking to us following us on Twitter following us on Instagram, but casual toys has just grown. I think the number was 12 100% over last year.


Mallory Gordon  09:18

That’s amazing. Now granted, we’re not we’re never gonna retire this weekend. It is it is something fun that we love doing right and we don’t monetize the podcast. It’s just this is what we do to try to make sure we can continue to record and support that.


Mickey Gordon  09:34

Yeah, it’s still lost money. I do need to say oh, we still lost money.


Mallory Gordon  09:37

100% 100% but you know what? That’s okay. I feel so good about all the wonderful people out there that that love us and support us and want to help and I really don’t have words for it. I just feel so grateful. it because it’s not expected. I never expected people to back us like they did.


Mickey Gordon  09:57

No, we really didn’t. End For any of you that are listening to this today tomorrow because we’re recording this on a Tuesday, which is completely out there. It this week is the last week to order if you want to get it before Christmas as a matter of fact Thursday’s pretty much it.


Mallory Gordon  10:13

So Thursday would be December 17.


Mickey Gordon  10:15

Yeah, I think December 17, maybe December 18. If you put today’s shipping in, but I mean, it’s just stuffs taken a few days to get out right now. Yeah. If you want it there by Christmas, you need it there by Christmas. You want to pick up one of those casual? Whoa, whoa, whoa, bags.


Mallory Gordon  10:30

Yeah. Anyone that’s been doing any traditional shopping online outside of you know, Amazon, or works in an industry where you deal with shipping. We all know, like, there’s going to be delays around the holiday, but this year is exceptional with all the other factors. Like it’s just gas. Yeah, they’re behind. They’re overloaded.


Mickey Gordon  10:48

You know, speaking of casual toys, though, and kind of getting away from from the Christmas thing. I gotta give a shout out to Steve and Jackson. Yes, yes.


Mallory Gordon  10:57

Now there are a couple that posted about the unique condoms, right? Yes. Like they actually posted a picture of him wearing it.


Mickey Gordon  11:04

Yes. And his


Mallory Gordon  11:05

I hope I described to accurately


Mickey Gordon  11:08

I think he did and it was


Mallory Gordon  11:09

very lovely penis.


Mickey Gordon  11:11

Well, I’m glad you appreciate it. I I actually vacillated on whether I should post that or not on our feed cuz I’m like, that’s a dick. It is a penis fair. And it was a penis of note but still, you know, we were like, but you know what, we’d never actually shown anybody what the condom looked like. I was like, fuck it. condoms. Go on penises. Here we go. So we went ahead and put it out. But you know, those condoms. I said they were game changers. I talked about how different they made the lifestyle experience for me. Matter of fact, we created an ad, which I will throw on the end of this episode for you guys, for Jay and Angie of average swingers? Yeah, that’s true. And it was just for these condoms. They are three times thinner than latex. They’re three times stronger than latex. They have no smell. They’re hypoallergenic. They have a little skirt around the bottom. That helps protect your balls from skin to skin contact. Not only that they work with any kind of lubricant, including coconut oil or oil based lubricants. They are amazing. They’re otherworldly. Yeah. And they come with a leprechaun.


Mallory Gordon  12:12

They’ll be don’t Oh, you said they were made by leprechauns. And I looked it up. That was a lie. Oh, um, no, you’re absolutely right. I’m sensitive to smell. So that’s something that I generally don’t like about latex condoms. But you know, hey, it was unnecessary evil at the time. And I also learned about the certain lubes like coconut oil that degrades actual, you know, structure of the latex, which is something I didn’t know. Yeah. So I mean, for me, this hits all the marks now. Are they cheap? No, not necessarily.


Mickey Gordon  12:40

No, there are premium brands.


Mallory Gordon  12:41

There’s definitely definitely premium, but you know, anyone who’s got allergies or you’re looking for a vegan option, like I didn’t know that. That was the thing. I’m not vegan. Are they edible? They’re not edible, but they’re not made from animal or animal byproducts. So


Mickey Gordon  12:56

I don’t understand the whole vegan thing. So do you have to eat it for it to be vegan? No.


Mallory Gordon  13:01

I don’t have time to explain this to you. Okay. Uh, we’ll have our listeners right here and get you woke. All right. All right. All right, early. I


Mickey Gordon  13:09

need wokeness Yeah, you do up in my life.


Mallory Gordon  13:12

But that’s true. Because for say you’re a vegan and you have a latex allergy. Typically, the lambskin is the only option and with a mean vegan, it’s not an option. So what do they do? And I looked at the non latex vegan friendly brands. And I’ll tell you what, I opened one of them even lambskin, smells horrible, and just the thought of using it. I can’t, I just can’t, and I eat meat. Yeah. But it was a lamb. It was a Lamb


Mickey Gordon  13:40

that was actually part of the Lamb. And so that’s kind of, I guess, as a guy in the lifestyle in particular, you know, one of my favorite things is, is oral. And when you’re really in the moment, and you’re just kind of wrestling around, you know, sometimes you do go back and forth, you kind of alternate between having sex and oral, and you go down after you’ve been having sex with somebody with a condom on and you’re like, Whoa, I smell Halloween costume.


Mallory Gordon  14:05

chemicals. Yeah. You say it’s like a grocery bag.


Mickey Gordon  14:14

So uniques stop that from happening. You get out there and it’s just as springtime fresh as it was before you jumped in. A Deuce commercial. I’m a douche canoe, summer. That’s right. All right. Wow, we’re pussy smelly Creek water.


Mallory Gordon  14:35

We’re definitely out of practice because we keep going off in these little rabbit holes. So I’m gonna bring it back in. Alright, so did we talk about Liberator yet?


Mickey Gordon  14:46

No. And I think we should because we kind of quietly added it to casual toys. And we have a bunch of Liberator here. We’ve talked about this before. You know when we’re talking about this in a second but we recently became more empty nesters. Then We were before we now have three empty guest rooms in this house. And it’s I think one of those rooms is going to kind of become a liberator showcase. Oh, please,


Mallory Gordon  15:09

please, please, please, I’m so excited. I think we’re gonna go ahead and put the s in there this weekend. and test it out and make sure we like where it sits in the room. And wink, wink. And then of course,


Mickey Gordon  15:19

we got the wedge and we’re gonna have the flip stages here soon and a few other things but there’s a lot of really cool things that Liberator does but Liberator is all about positioning for your bedroom adventures. Yes.


Mallory Gordon  15:30

Which is really important. I am in this age range where I’m still in really great health. I’m not exactly a spring chicken, but I’m not in you know, you know, square in the middle age. I’m on the on the beginnings of middle age, at least that’s what I’m telling myself.


Mickey Gordon  15:48

I keep doing it.


Mallory Gordon  15:50

I find I can’t hold the positions that we used to do without some help. Right? You know,


Mickey Gordon  15:56

it’s harder to do monkey such as you get older,


Mallory Gordon  15:58

my knees hurt shit pops and cracks and it’s a little embarrassing. And I even if I liked the position, like holding it, and I’m like, Oh, I got a cramp in my back. Like using the wedge and the pillows and stuff really do help me and it allows me to hold that position. And I think a lot of ways you’re not making up for me not holding the position by trying to hold me up to you and still do your thing. Well, yeah,


Mickey Gordon  16:22

because you do have expectations of me when I’m back. I


Mallory Gordon  16:25

do and I just made it sound like I’m lazy as fuck in bed. That’s kind of


Mickey Gordon  16:30

how it sounded. But hey, if you too are lazy as fuck in bed. Liberator is the right product for you. Their wedges their cushions, they have actually toys that help you masturbate too, because a lot of these toys have spaces to put your favorite vibrator in so you can’t fuck the crap out of the pillow while you get fucked.


Mallory Gordon  16:48

Hell yeah, that’s that’s why I love my wedge because my wedge has the Hitachi magic wand insert. Hmm. So like I literally can just put it in there. Lay across it and I’m off to town. Little low grind in action. I’m good. 10 minutes.


Mickey Gordon  17:00

10 minutes on. She’s got a purple face and she’s happy.


Mallory Gordon  17:03

Love it.


Mickey Gordon  17:04

So anyhow, what do we have going on coming up here soon. We have got again for holiday mode. In this house. It looks like Santa Claus threw up in a hallmark store exploded. But all that’s a really good thing because this weekend coming up we have the Mary swing Miss party coming courtesy of swinging down under and the amazing Kate.


Mallory Gordon  17:25

Yeah, this is a virtual event and it’s free.


Mickey Gordon  17:27

Right? It’s free as fuck


Mallory Gordon  17:29

yeah. So sign up again. It’s this Saturday, we have an adorable and hilarious surprise.


Mickey Gordon  17:35

Yes, we have a special guest coming.


Mallory Gordon  17:37

Yes. A very, very special guests


Mickey Gordon  17:39

from a long way away. Yes.


Mallory Gordon  17:40

I hear it’s cold. Where?


Mickey Gordon  17:42

where they’re coming from very cool. Okay. And we have a story that’s been written about him.


Mallory Gordon  17:46

Oh my gosh, are you kidding?


Mickey Gordon  17:48

Story storytime. I love Christmas tree.


Mallory Gordon  17:52

I love and then we’re gonna have some giveaways and some fun games and other conversations and just drinking and


Mickey Gordon  17:57

we’re gonna get fucked up. Oh,


Mallory Gordon  17:59

100% it is the holidays. Yes. Okay,


Mickey Gordon  18:02

that’s that’s literally so this is what we do in my family at the holidays, by the way, we get really drunk and then tell each other about ourselves. So are we Oh,


Mallory Gordon  18:09

so you guys have festivus? Essentially, yes, he do feats of strength? Well,


Mickey Gordon  18:12

we’re a little old for feats of strength. So we just really insult the shit out of each other. Yeah. tell each other how much we suck this year. Yeah, we’ve been doing that long before Seinfeld ever became a thing. Christmas was always a time for telling the other people how much of a failure they weren’t this year.


Mallory Gordon  18:27

Oh, okay. I don’t understand that at all.


Mickey Gordon  18:30

No. guy likes each other. We got mugs and stuff.


Mallory Gordon  18:32

Yeah. Hugs and food.


Mickey Gordon  18:34

My family’s like I didn’t wear my gun. Tonight. You’re going to live?


Mallory Gordon  18:37

Oh, oh, wow. That’s shocking. And moving on. So if you want to sign up for the event, go to our Twitter or swinging down under his twitter or podcast Palooza his Twitter page. and sign up there again. It is totally free. Lots of fun and surprises in drinking will be had. So what else do we have going on?


Mickey Gordon  18:58

Oh, we’ve got virtual podcast Palooza. That’s in January.


Mallory Gordon  19:02

That’s true. Kate’s got another virtual event, pre the actual peak app in May. So that’s going to be held in January. That is a pay for event. I believe it’s $30 to join in the fun. And again, we’ll be posting that on our Twitter page and in our show notes here for you to go sign up in join.


Mickey Gordon  19:19

Yes, so that’s you know, it’s funny. We haven’t had a lot of signups for virtual p cap yet. I think it has more to do with Christmas right now because this event is actually crazy good for the price. Oh $30 you have 11 hosts, a DJ and a performer, burlesque performer so there’s going to be like really fun and cool shit to do.


Mallory Gordon  19:39

Absolutely. And it may be hard to like get your mind wrapped around it with preparing for the holidays. But remember that there’s that January lol that happens. And everyone’s looking around like Okay, we got through the holidays. And we’re still kind of sequestered now. What do we do? That’s your thing.


Mickey Gordon  19:54

Yeah. And we have an hour on Friday night and then we also have a mingler on Saturday. Good afternoon, double date nation


Mallory Gordon  20:01

live it,


Mickey Gordon  20:02

which is David Andy. And we’re not sad about that at all.


Mallory Gordon  20:05

Not even a little bit.


Mickey Gordon  20:06

No, not even a little. So that’s gonna be exciting. And of course, we still have rooms available. And this is like we’re just kind of getting down the line here guys. I know we’re just kind of all over the place, but we have room still available for February with Rachel’s rascals. And of course, a special announcement for this was really exciting.


Mallory Gordon  20:23

Oh my god. This is like the coolest thing ever. So we were lucky enough to meet and befriend some listeners. And they’re absolutely amazing, beautiful couple. And surprise. They’ll be having their nuptials on this trip in Jamaica. with us. I’m so excited. Like, I love weddings, but Hito weddings. like come on?


Mickey Gordon  20:43

Does that mean? Wait a minute. I thought you said we’re gonna have sex.


Mallory Gordon  20:47

Oh, maybe? I don’t know.


Mickey Gordon  20:50

You probably know when nuptials are? No, no, no. Oh, sorry.


Mallory Gordon  20:56

I hear the word Smith don’t even play with me. And I actually pause to think about that. Today, you set it in appropriately.


Mickey Gordon  21:05

No, you’re perfect. That’s Yeah, we met these guys actually locally here and they’re going to get married. He knows that’s gonna be a lot of fun. That’s gonna be in February. If you want more information, feel free to come check us out on casual travel with us. It’s on the left hand side go down to it. You can send us your information and we’ll send you all the information including rates. Or you can just go straight to WWW dot Rachel’s rascals calm that’s our AC h a l s rascals calm and get information on the trips that way. Now last but not least, peak app peak app 2021 is coming up in Miami. Make sure to check that out at www dot podcast dash a dash and select your room category and get in on the fun. We are going to be there with a lot of these other hosts in person that live in living color. Whoo. We were you


Mallory Gordon  21:56

know, tops.


Mickey Gordon  21:57

That’s right. topless party. titties out.


Mallory Gordon  22:00

I love boobs.


Mickey Gordon  22:01

But I’m really looking forward to seeing what this event becomes. Because, you know, Kate and I were talking last night we decided were the worst business people in the lifestyle because we’re both losing a shitload of money. But you know, it’s not her fault. I’m just bad at it. She got screwed by COVID right, her whole event got shut down. And I can’t wait to see what this girl pulls off. I genuinely mean this from the bottom of my heart, guys. This is one of the most just attention to detail oriented people I’ve ever met, I would say fastidious, but it’s not a negative thing. Like, sure, her attention to detail is just just so


Mallory Gordon  22:34

it’s, it’s unmatched. And and in my business, I work with some people that stand up events from you know, a very specific perspective. But a lot of them do the full scope of work. And no one no one I’ve ever come across matches her talent and her dedication. So I’m excited. I think it’s going to be in become the lifestyle of


Mickey Gordon  22:55

it, too. I really do. So before we move on to this interview with Dermot, and I love this interview, I love the time you spent with us. It’s Christmas time so we’d made some music for this episode and made sure that everybody you know, it’s what we do at the holiday is very festive. The house is festive as fuck. You know, if you had to say something that you’re really truly grateful for in this season, at the end of this year in the lifestyle, what would it be? Because this is like the end of our second full year as casual swinger?


Mallory Gordon  23:29

That’s true. Wow, what am I most grateful for this year is gone god, this is gonna sound cheesy, it’s the friendships, the new ones, the ones that have been nurtured from, you know, the year or years previously. I mean, it means a lot, especially as an adult because I think without the lifestyle, there’s no chance that these connections would have been made and not at this level. And it really does warm my heart to know that I have not just people that I want to have sex with because a lot of these people in the lifestyle that we’re friends with, we’re just that that I have people that understand me and I can talk to and laugh with and share with and be my most authentic self with. And that’s to me that’s priceless. Yeah, that cheesy. No, I


Mickey Gordon  24:21

don’t think it’s cheesy at all. I think it’s it’s all it’s all inclusive. It’s very lifestyle of you. Yeah, you know, to include all the friendships. You know, I would say you in for me. It’s kind of twofold because as casual swinger, I’m just grateful for the interaction of the community. I mean, we’ve made friends all over the world, because of this show, and it’s just the coolest thing in the world. But if I had to be really succinct and say as Mickey and Mallory, what am I grateful for? I’m just gonna put a point on NC Derek and Jess. Ah, yeah, that’s probably the most connected I’ve ever been to another couple when


Mallory Gordon  24:59

that’s true. style wheat


Mickey Gordon  25:00

that they get us on every level.


Mallory Gordon  25:02

Yeah. And that that came, I don’t want to say out of nowhere, but it was very unexpected.


Mickey Gordon  25:07

Very, very, extremely


Mallory Gordon  25:08

unexpected. And, man when it hit it hit hard. Yeah. And we went, Oh my god, this is that lightning in a bottle. This is what we’ve been talking about for all these years. And it’s not just the lightning in the bottle. It’s more than that. And yeah, you’re right. I was trying to be, you know, a little more broad in my statement, but I have to agree with you.


Mickey Gordon  25:31

Yeah, but I mean, and I could list off 30 other names that are, you know, 9.9 out of 10. And just everything that we love about our friends, but sometimes you just meet an 11. And, and that’s what it was. I mean, that’s those guys are awesome. And just great friends and invest in our lives. And our kids love them. And like they’re just they’re vanilla friends that are more. And but I mean, I’m also so grateful for the jackin kisses and the Michonne Cindy’s. I mean, the folks that contribute to this show and make the show better. Yeah, you know, everything I ever wanted in life. You can’t fit under a tree. And I figured that the last couple years.


Mallory Gordon  26:11

Ah, I love that and you’re right in the the immense amounts of support and it never fails. Having a rough day, not in a good mental space. And we get we get to know on Cassidy or through the website just saying Hey, guys, thanks, love you and I again, I I am at a loss for words at times. But that that feels so good. It really does like thanks for sharing and dedicating your time because it’s precious time is very, very precious. And the fact that they spend a minute of it listening to us or participating. Like again, I don’t know what to say take


Mickey Gordon  26:44

that extra minute to send us a message on again, STC SLS Cassidy Doubleday nation. and at worst, send us a direct email and yeah, that. I mean, you know what, really bums me out though. They’re always surprised that we write them back, really. And I’m like, Why in the world? Would you be surprised? We’re making this for you. This is what we you’re the person, we do this for you and you and you and you and all of you. And it’s so much fun to hear that you enjoyed it. And that does make our day and our response always starts with thank you for spending your time with us.


Mallory Gordon  27:15

Yeah, and I hope that doesn’t sound like conceited or like vapid or anything but it really does it warms my heart. Yeah. And my mom has said always make sure you say thank you.


Mickey Gordon  27:23

Yeah, well here we are saying thank you Christmas time. And part of that thank you is traveling around to meet and interview people like Dermot the lucre. That was his first day at the resort. We made sure we were there to interview him. He had two weeks to quarantine. We showed up much like when I went down for the reopening of the resort and talked about it podcasted about it. We met with Dermot we did this for you guys. We hope you enjoy it and get to meet the new boss.


Mallory Gordon  27:52

Alright guys, enjoy. And thanks for coming back and hanging in there with us.


Mickey Gordon  27:56

We’ll be back in just a couple of minutes. You’re listening to casual swinger. Welcome.


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  28:16

Well, thank you so much. I hope my accent is okay for everybody. I appreciate it. I’ve come from the other side of the water. So I think we speak a little funny. So


Mallory Gordon  28:27

I think it’s great. Yeah. So introduce yourself and tell everyone where you’re from.


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  28:32

Okay, so my name is Dermot lucre. And I’m a very proud Irishman. But I’ve been wandering this planet of ours working in hospitality for over 30 years. And I’ve done some fascinating stints in Asia. I worked with Mandarin Oriental. And I’ve worked with intercontinental hotels in Europe, all across continental Europe. I’ve worked in the states for a short while, but my big passion in life and the love of my life is the Caribbean. And I discovered the Caribbean about maybe 1214 years ago, when I went to Barbados for the first time and it was so good. I stayed and didn’t go home and got a job there. I loved Barbados and was there for a number of years and then had to leave because the circumstances but I always wanted to get my way back and it took me Wow, nearly 10 years of sort of trying. So if you’re out there, never give up if you’ve got a dream, just keep plugging. And I eventually got a job back in Turks and Caicos. And so I was there for three years and absolutely loved being back in the islands and Island life and hanging out. And I went from there to the British Virgin Islands, which is, again a very different experience different parts of the Caribbean and you know, I think people see the Caribbean is like one name, but in fact, you know, the Caribbean make there’s nearly 40 different kinds trees in the Caribbean, and they’re all very different people. And you know, it’s a bit like people in different states, they’ve all got different traits and personalities. It’s really a journey, you know, you wander through St. Kitts people, they’re very different from the people in St. Lucia and all the rest of it. But they’re all lovely. I suppose. That’s my point.


Mickey Gordon  30:18

Yeah, you’re incredibly well traveled. And it. So I guess the first question I have for you, is, you have a lot of experience as an expat managing people in countries and almost everyone that you manage, is a resident of the country you’re in. So there’s a bit of a, I guess, a cultural disconnect immediately when you come in as a manager and as a leader. But one of the things that I’ve heard, because I’ve asked about you from some of the staff, just to get there, you know, I’m not going to tell you who it is, that was the agreement. But one of the first things that was brought up to me was that you put yourself in a two week quarantine. And they said, he leads by example. That’s the first thing I noticed about,


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  31:03

well, that’s nice. I mean, it’s a nice thing to do. But that was the law. And it will be terrible. If I didn’t follow the laws of the country I live in, you know, Jamaicans are hugely proud people. I’ve worked with Jamaicans before, I would never disrespect, Jamaica, or its people. And, you know, I’m part of a team, that’s the bottom line, we are a team. And when we do so, if we do it together, and if we’re successful, we’re all successful. If we’re not successful, then we’re all not successful, but one way or the other, you know, we’re in this together. And I believe in being respectful. I believe in in, you know, having a passion and pride. And Jamaicans have that in spades. So, understand what the man is it different managing when you come in as an Irishman, but you’re also well traveled, and, and a whole mess over 400 Jamaicans on staff here. So is it? How does it I mean, how do you communicate with them and show them is that that’s what you feel I let you in the secret. Long before the history of this country, if you will, back the bloodlines in this country. And nearly a quarter Irish has been an Irish people coming here for hundreds of years to work in the plantations and the farms here. And if you look at the place names of the towns, and the names of the people here, there’s a lot of Irish in this island. So we’re not so different. We I just, I come from an island that’s on the other side of the Atlantic, but we’re in Ireland, people just say to me, wow.


Mallory Gordon  32:35

Yeah. So what are you most excited about? I mean, you’ve only been here for how long? Two weeks, two weeks,


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  32:42

and I’ve just got out of quarantine. We’re the first people you see that I’ve like so excited to be walking in.


Mallory Gordon  32:51

I mean, obviously, it’s gonna, you do have a staff of over 400 is gonna take some time to get to know everyone. They’re very personal people. But what are your your next steps now that you’re out of quarantine? Is it getting your sea legs here


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  33:04

very much. I mean, you know, it’s, it’s a learning exercise, it’s hugely about walking around, meeting people, talking to them, you know, feeling the place, I’m a big believer in emotional intelligence, and that you kind of touch it, you walk and you sit in the seat is here. So that’s how the guests season, you know, you stand alongside the guy pouring coffee, and you say, Oh, so that he really struggles to get coffee. That’s why people went for coffee. You know, it’s, you have to understand that and from, you know, I sit in here don’t deliver service, there’s people out there to great staff here that deliver service. So how can I ever sort of hope to have their respect, and there’s no what, what their job is, their job is not the challenges they face. So that’s for me, there’ll be months of learning to come and, and understanding and, you know, finding out where square pegs fit into round holes and vice versa and stuff. And for them to get to know me too, because, you know, they’re gonna have to trust me, ultimately, you know, if they don’t like me, and the deck against me, I won’t be successful. Go back to my earlier point. It’s a team thing. So they have to believe in me, ultimately, I have to believe that I will do a good job and they will have to sort of meet me talk to me and get to know me so that they trust me to do that.


Mickey Gordon  34:22

So some of the early guests that were here during some of your early tours of the resort, told me that and had been doing research on you for a while. I was hoping to be still but they told me a story, how you were speaking with an EC and you noticed that there was a squishy board. And that squishy board stopped you in your tracks and you checked it two or three times. Sure. And you made a note of it is your attention to detail that strong that even something so small as a squishy board catches your attention


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  34:56

is that part of your process? Absolutely. Is part of the process. I mean, you have to be all the time out there looking at stuff. And in fact, I could drive myself mad because I could see a million things that need fixing straight away, and it’ll be like, too much stuff. But you know, it’s an eye for detail. That’s one and coming from my background. And in those hotels, it’s that eye for detail is what’s expected of you. And it’s been part of my life for a long time. I certainly want to try and bring that to the business here. I want things to look right. I want things to look fresh, clean, shipshape, if something’s broken, we need to get it fixed. And if we can’t get it fixed, we need to know why we got to get a fix. But I want you know, that’s it’s also a leading by example thing, right? The day might come and I don’t have a step in a squishy board, but somebody else is going to step in that squishy board and say, Hey, listen, I need to get this fixed. So that’s ultimately what I’d like to get to. But right now I’m going to have to maybe fix a few squishy balls myself.


Mallory Gordon  35:58

So is this the first clothing optional resort you’ve worked with?


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  36:01

Absolutely. Yeah. This is a whole new I’m new to the lifestyle. Yeah, I’m new to the whole experience. And it’s a big adventure for me too. So


Mallory Gordon  36:11

it is I’m interested to see your your new engagements with some of the clientele that comes here because it’s all walks of life. You have this. You have lifestyle swinger couples, polyamorous couples, we have a few on site this week. So it’s very interesting. Glad to see that. Yeah. I just


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  36:38

it’s going to be an adventure. Yeah, that’s that’s the thing. Yeah, it’s new to me. But I’m not sort of like shocked if you look at that. I don’t have the hair to stand up. straightaway, I met it last year. But you know what I my whole life. When I’ve traveled, I’ve taken people as I found them. And I tell him what to do find I find a great environment for people are very forgiving, non judgmental. People, by and large, are actually very gentle. You know, I’ve worked in resorts where a hostile Tiger mom is coming at you because she’s dropped 25 grand on a vacation, and little Johnny’s just been sick because he’s had 14, strawberry, sort of pancakes or something. And believe me, I’ll take a couple of swingers any day?



A lot better. It’s a lot better for you.


Mickey Gordon  37:28

I’ve never seen a tiger in Jamaica.


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  37:32

Well, you know, so far, it’s been great. Will there be problems? Of course to Well, I mean, you get all kinds of challenges in this industry, you know, but the people who have been so nice to come up and talk to me and say hello. And when I’ve chatted to people, the goodwill that people have shown to me. Yeah, I mean, that’s really nice. That’s, that’s absolutely wonderful. So you know, after that I’m pretty non judgmental person, as long as you’re not harming small dogs. I’m cool. By the way, we’re all dog people here. Excellent. I have. I’m on my third rescue dog. This one is a hurricane Irma.


Mickey Gordon  38:12

Really? That’s our neck of the woods.


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  38:14

in Orlando. Okay, well, I sorry, we should be doing this. But we found our 48 hours after Emma went through taxing cake was her moment and kill. And her and her two brothers under his tree. So we brought them home. And the other two went for adoption. But one came with us and didn’t leave our side. So she’s currently sitting in Dublin, you know, on her own bed.


Mallory Gordon  38:44

Really hard not to spoil him. And we have a rule of thumb. We don’t generally trust people who don’t like dogs. There you go. 100%. Yeah, it’s


Mickey Gordon  38:50

really hard to understand a person that doesn’t love dogs. Yes. That’s all right. So tell me a little bit about, you know, you come from five star. And there is that’s it the distance between four star and five star? It really isn’t. It seems like it should be more than a star. It’s a tremendous difference. Sure. So you bring that level of attention to detail, you bring that back round to this place. I think there are some people that might be concerned that he was going to take a turn, maybe that results in it being too expensive, because we have upped the level to a point where we’re starting to try and compete with places that don’t have the magic they should know has. Yeah. Is it possible to bring the five star attention to detail in five star management


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  39:41

without? Yeah. Well, I tell you what, here if you can be assured by this, that was probably one of the very first things that Harry and I spoke about. And I suppose parts of the aspiration was that Harry wanted a five star approach to service without necessarily being a five star hotel. So there are no Butler’s in the pipeline or by clubs and stuff. But what there is probably in the pipeline is an attention detail, which I in my first talk with the Team Arrow spoke very passionately about the exceptional service. And what we want to focus on is, what does that look like in all our areas? Now excepted service, you’ve got really nice stuff, you know that in nearly as a kind of given, but what do you do plus the extra thing you can do to really surprise somebody to really make them say, Wow, that was really nice. We’ve been going around all the departments talking to everybody and challenging them to say, you know, what can I do that’s exceptional, they can make a memory, make somebody go, you know, I love hero. But that was just amazing. Or so the focus will be on that side of what we would call the five star experience, and exceptional service and memorable encounter, what we do something, we do it in a way that you go, that was great. That was really something, you know, so that’s where the focus would be, it won’t be particularly on sort of, we’re not the Ritz Carlton, and no immediate plans. Yeah, it’s great to be about that.


Mallory Gordon  41:16

I can tell you from firsthand experience, they’re listening. There’s two or three things I’ve noticed in the staff has always been wonderful here. But a few events that have transpired over our week that I’ve identified and gone. Wow, that was that was really much more than above and beyond expectation,


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  41:36

okay. And now, you know, that’s exactly what I’m looking for. And that’s what I want these guys to find, because they are lovely, you’re right, and they want to do a good job. You know, my job is is more of a coach. I kind of nudge in a direction. But let them do it, do it. And like nobody wants to look at my mug. They want to look at their.


Mickey Gordon  41:54

I can give you a great example. So last night, it’s very full of Gala. gala is just crazy here. It’s


Mallory Gordon  42:00

hard to find a table. Yeah.


Mickey Gordon  42:01

And we were walking through in davion, who is a waitstaff top. And he said, I will find you a table and I will come find you. Well, in the meantime, we had found some tables outside and put them all together and sat down and I wouldn’t found baby. And I said, don’t worry about it. And he came though, he was working the Harrisons side of the dining room. Sure, he went and brought us water and brought us setups and served us the whole time, despite us being nowhere near where he was supposed to be. Because he had committed to finding us a table. And since we found our own, he took care of us anyway.


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  42:35

And you know that that’s fantastic. That’s such a great endorsement. And that’s exactly what it’s about, you know, if there’s more that will be happy people. Other people have come here, because that truly is what it’s about. And it’s finding ways sometimes, like your job isn’t, is just to help other people do theirs. Yeah. And find the things that get in the way of them doing their job, and try and clear all that distraction that noise out away. So they can sort of focus in on doing their job. And I want them to be happy, I want them to be motivated. You know, they’re worried about the future, the moment, you know, where everybody is, and I I’m busy working we in the background, sort of looking at the future. And Sandra, I want to make sure that this future is secure for them. Because that’s what Harvey wants to know, cares. Unbelievably passionately, you have no idea the things, you know, that he feels about this place and that he wants to secure and I’m sure he wants to leave a legacy in all kinds of ways. And you know, it’s my job to maybe put that into sort of practical


Mallory Gordon  43:45

fashion. That’s a great point. Have you ever worked with an owner like Harry?


Mickey Gordon  43:54

Some eccentric bastards?


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  43:56

I said, I told him last night it’s a bit like being a road manager for the Rolling Stones. You’ve got a lot to do, but you know who the rocks are? That is a


Mickey Gordon  44:04

beautiful analogy. You know, Harry has long been the point man here, you know, Ito Harry, you see him here many, many days out of the year, all of the big trips. He is a walking, talking living mascot, for some reason. But since you’ve come on something I’ve heard from many people as well, even though you know, it was just before he came on to you into quarantine. But even last night, it’s something I’ve never seen out of the gym before. You’re walking around and talking to people and you were visible. People were seeing you people were getting to know you. You were introducing yourself. That’s different. He hasn’t had that before. Okay, is that part of your approach? And why do you think it matters?


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  44:45

I think you know, this is a people business. Why do people come to here to meet other people? So we have all got to be if you’re not in the people this is really


Mickey Gordon  44:59

fucked up.


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  45:01

Hello. So, you know, yeah, I see it as part of the job. It’s just about being about about, you know, being accessible and, you know, successful to the guests and accessible to staff as well. Like they get confidence, like I said earlier, if they see you there beside them, if you walk in their shoes, a couple of steps, I was up on the roof today for an hour to come down. I was like, I was talking to men.


Mickey Gordon  45:26

But I mean, like, you’re Irish, you can still


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  45:31

build for this. But you know, like the roof, we’ve had some leaking problems last week. So how do we fix this? And the guy’s saying, well, I told everybody that I said, well, let’s go on the roof, and we’ll find out. So let’s go and see how we fix this. So


Mallory Gordon  45:46

with a little taken aback that you wanted to get on the roof, he said to the first person in 30 years.


Mickey Gordon  45:54

I absolutely love that. So one of the things that the Mallory and I one of the ways we do business, is we love doing business with people we know for sure. So I’d love to help our listeners get to know you a little better. What are you passionate about in your personal life? Tell us about you. Wow, gosh, that’s terrible. I’m passionate. I’m


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  46:15

like, I’m married, and got a couple of kids who, you know, that’s been a big part of my life. Yeah, long time getting them up. And they’re now at that stage. They’re grown up. I’m passionate about my rescue dog from Turks and Caicos who, you know, get spoiled rotten. And, honestly, does it gonna be really boring, but you know, I put so much into my work that I like, have so little time. But you know, I’m a secret classical music fan. But I never tell anybody because it sounds a bit too. I love I love Cuban cigars. And really nice red wine. So that’s those are my kind of vices. I love to cook, I consider myself a lost masterpiece to the color of the world. And you know what? That’s it. Yeah. And I’m afraid to tell you I’m not a swinger. And that’s okay. It’s, um, I don’t judge anybody else. But I think that, you know, my vices are simple ones. You know, if you can roll it up aged bottling, or pan fried. I’m there.


Mickey Gordon  47:29

You know, that’s usually the start of a good swinger date. Okay. This ends differently. Yeah. Okay. Maybe a little quieter? Yeah. Okay, no big bang. Yeah, right. whatsoever. That’s crazy. So tell me, what do you think? What do you think’s next for you to? Well, you guys, I talked before we started recording about 30 6090. I know that’s probably a little premature.


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  47:55

But I can tend to 3060. Not as much as you would like, because, you know, we’re in a very difficult period, I think travel is going to, you know, be in a difficult period for the next while because people’s confidence in travel, I think is going to be a struggle for the next while. So that’s going to take a while, I think where our thinking is that the second half of next year, I think people are going to come through this either by vaccine or by sort of change in behavior. So that case is coming down. And I think there’s going to be a huge pent up demand, because people have put off a lot of travel, and they want to reward themselves. And they want to say, Hey, listen, I’ve come through the time of our era. And I’m still here. So it’s time to have a party to have some fun. So I we’re we think the second half of next year is going to be great. And we’re planning for that a bit. We’re going to sort of look at what we can achieve here. There are some things and they’re really boring software needs fixing, like boilers and wiring and server upgrades and stuff, stuff that matters. It’s the faster really unfun stuff, it all needs doing. And then we’ve got some maybe we can sort of freshen up our food and beverage a little bit, look at some ideas there to take that forward. And then there’s some other stuff kind of bubbling away in the background.


Mallory Gordon  49:24

Sounds like well, that update later.


Mickey Gordon  49:26

Yeah, sounds like maybe we’ll we’ll do an update on this six day you got to be continued. So recently, Hito Leto became as far as I know, one of the first businesses to do business inside of Hito. Sure, which is different because he does always, you know, had everything in house. Sure. Is that the first of the new generation of the way of doing business for heat or is that a one off?


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  49:50

I think, well, we all do. We all have the computer powers. And you know, that was another business within the business as well. Okay. And the The boat, Philippon is bought as well as another. So we’re not again, just doing something like that it’s very much a case of like, is it a good fit, right here do we do is a good fit, it’s a lifestyle. And you know, we’re a lifestyle brand, and heater we do as a lifestyle product. So they’re a good fit together. And we have to see like hero Eden is a baby, and it needs to sort of learn how to walk and talk and stuff and grow up with it. And if it grows up into a good business, then, you know, it will be a compliment to what we do here. I think the future you know, there is a tremendous I, I said to you earlier, like, this is a really strong business. Now, I’m telling you, like, you could rock your crystal ball, and in five years time, you could maybe say that, you know, this is such a strong business that you could do another somewhere else and say, Wow, that would be interesting. So, but first, we’ve got to be sure we know what it is about. You know how to define it. We know how to sort of, we don’t want to lose anything. I don’t want anybody getting anywhere alarmed, we’d only do it if you know if we want to share the love. Right? So but we’ve got to be sure that we’re confident and strong enough about what we’re doing. And you know that we know what our values are. We know what the offer is. We know what we’re going out to offer people. So there’s a world of possibilities.


Mickey Gordon  51:25

So I guess the last real question I have for you. And this is a bit of a tougher question, especially at this stage. groups have a huge part in the identity of hedonism to sure they have for a very long time they accentuate they expand, they enhance the experience for the guests. There have been movements in the past toward creating other avenues for people to come to hedonism things like, you know, club keto, and things like that. What is your perspective on groups?


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  51:56

My perspective is they are very much part of the business. Yeah, right. We, you know, nobody’s not loving groups. And I know that I’ve heard that said before to me. And I just want to be really clear that that is never not going to be the case that groups aren’t a very big part of what we do. Are there going to be other ways for people to book Absolutely. Every other business in this business has multiple routes that people booked. So it’s about what you’re at? I, you know, I realized that loads of people like being part of a group, and it means that that group is important to them. That’s great. That’s absolutely great. All we’re about is creating sort of different avenues. Because, you know, when we talk about, like, nothing stays the same. And this business and the resort, and all the things we do in the resort have to evolve over time. You know, I’m sure there’s guests who still probably wonder why we spent all the money on fixing the internet so that it’s so good. Well, because, you know, at this time and juncture where the planet is having good internet is a kind of important thing, because it means podcasters can come and do it while we’re here. And so there’s going to be new people who are going to want to come and join and they’re going to have different kinds of expectations. And we’ve got to meet those expectations. But you know, that groups are a huge fun part. And the week we’ve been in, look at the fantastic parties, we’ve had everybody in the resort benefits, right? The people in club ido, the individual travelers, they’ve all bust in all the fun and the entertainment that their groups have provided this week, the staff have had a blast, right? So you know, why wouldn’t we want to keep that as part of what we do? I mean, I think groups to be honest, are part of what makes him and you know that that will never change. I can never see that happening as


Mickey Gordon  53:46

as a emcee for a group. That’s music to my ears. Even though my voice is completely shot at this point. But you guys have to make the party. That’s


Mallory Gordon  53:57

our job. Yeah. And we love it. every second of it,


Mickey Gordon  54:00

we do. So I want to thank you for spending some time with us today and helping people get to know you and I fully expect that we’ll probably follow up in six months or so to see how you’re doing Yeah, we’ll be


Mallory Gordon  54:13

back in February Yeah.


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  54:16

If you see me sort of locked in his dorm room so





Mickey Gordon  54:25

slightly snacks under the door All right. Well, thank you so much for doing this.


Dermot DeLoughry – Hedonism  54:33

My absolute pleasure. Really nice. Thank you for thank you for being so gentle with a virgin.


Mickey Gordon  54:38

Oh, you’re not our first Yeah. All right, folks, Mel Are you want to tell everybody


Mallory Gordon  54:49

for casual swinger everywhere that schedule You can find us on Apple, iTunes, I can’t even think now. Spotify, Stitcher, you name it


Mickey Gordon  54:59

was Another episode. Alright folks, you’ve been listening to casual swinger. Welcome back to casual swinger. My name is Mickey trying to get out of the bad mood.


Mallory Gordon  55:25

Hi, Ricky, I got something for you. Oh, by the way, I’m Mallory. Hi. Hi. Hello.


Mickey Gordon  55:30

I like your boobs.


Mallory Gordon  55:31

Thanks. I grew myself from scratch. original manufacturer equipment. Thank you very much. You


Mickey Gordon  55:38

didn’t get him from your mama.


Mallory Gordon  55:39

Now. Please don’t make fun of my mom’s, please. Okay. Anyway,


Mickey Gordon  55:45

let’s see what cocktail corner since we haven’t done one in a while and it’s Christmas time and everybody’s gonna be hanging out with family and needs to get drunk. If their families like mine.


Mallory Gordon  55:52

Yes. And especially around the holidays. I as much as I love crafting cocktails. I don’t like taking a lot of time and making it like a science experiment because I sometimes you just need to be a little down and dirty about it


Mickey Gordon  56:03

well, and we buy good booze and I don’t like wasting it by making a shitty cocktail. That’s


Mallory Gordon  56:07

true. That’s true. I like it when the cocktail highlights the booze and something we drink a lot of is whiskey and bourbon in this house, right? So was thinking a spin like a Christmas spending on old fashion. Okay, so what do you think of a cranberry old fashion?


Mickey Gordon  56:20

first thought is that?


Mallory Gordon  56:21

No, it’s delicious. Okay, I think we made them last Christmas. So the one thing you have to do is prep the cranberry simple syrup. That’s kind of like the key ingredient that gives it its its little spin. So you’re actually going to get some fresh cranberries. And what you’re gonna do is you’re going to boil some water. Let me look and see I made a note, it’s two cups of water and one cup of sugar. So for simple syrup, it’s a it’s a two to one ratio, okay, and then you’re going to add a cup of fresh cranberries. Now you can use frozen, but it’s kind of you may have to level down the water a little bit because the frozen cranberries actually have a little more water than the fresh ones do. So you’re going to boil that for about four to five minutes, make sure all the sugars dissolved, then you’re going to strain it will be a nice pretty pink color. And I use like the little mesh strainer like I do to get like chicken fat and whatever off the top of like, I don’t know, when I boil soup. You can use cheesecloth, but it will trap some of those sugars. So if you’re


Mickey Gordon  57:21

you want those in there


Mallory Gordon  57:22

and you want some of those, yeah, you want all of that in there. But in a pinch, it’ll, it’ll still work. So you strain it and let it cool. And then you really make a standard old fashion. So you’re gonna want some quality bourbon and I recommend bourbon versus rye. Since we’re using a flavored simple syrup. The Rial kind of diminished that cranberry flavor. So it’s three ounces of quality bourbon, one ounce of the simple syrup that you made. And three shakes of the Angostura bitters, as I said, Yeah. And then you garnish with an orange peel. So we’ll take the glass put ice, and you stir together the first three ingredients. And if you use the orange peel, I like orange and and mine and what I do is I twist it so it kind of releases the oils. And then I set it on top of the bourbon. I don’t necessarily mix it in because the oils will drip into the alcohol. And you’ll get just a hint of it as you sipping you can even like rim the glass with it. Yeah, and then you can also like garnish with like a little stick with some cranberries and fresh rosemary and bam. You’re festive as fuck festive and a little tipsy.


Mickey Gordon  58:29

And since it’s an old fashion you get a handjob after


Mallory Gordon  58:32

really well I guess I can two fisted. I got a drink in one hand. I got a free one. That’s awesome.


Mickey Gordon  58:40

Well, guys, this has been a weird fun Christmas episode we introduced the new boss for hedonism to hedonism. His new boss is Dermot de lucre. We hope you enjoyed talking to him or hearing us talk to him. Yeah, I did. Kinda, I don’t know. I really enjoyed being in his office and spending time with him. And I hope everybody else does too. And if you happen to get your ass down to hedonism in 2021 Make sure to go say hi He wants you to He wants you to come up and introduce yourself. He wants to hear your story.


Mallory Gordon  59:09

Yeah, he wants to get to know you.


Mickey Gordon  59:12

So pretty neat stuff. We love it. Mallory wanted to tell everybody where to find us we’ll get out of here and let everybody hear that fun ad we did for you need condoms. The end of the episode


Mallory Gordon  59:19

awesome. Hey, thanks you guys. again for your patience and supporting us. We are casual swinger everywhere. You can find us at casual swinger comm message us podcast at casual swinger. If you have any questions. You can also give us a review on iTunes if you like. And you can also locate us on social media, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter. I think that’s it. And the dating sites, doubletake nation, Cassidy SLS, SDC and quipper. Yeah,


Mickey Gordon  59:49

you’re a little rusty. I am. Sorry. You still look cute. Thanks. Alright, everybody. Merry Christmas to your family from ours. You’ve been listening to casual swinger. Alright, Mallory seriously, I am done with condoms. Oh,


Mallory Gordon  1:00:13

hold on there. Whoa, Whoa, what’s your issue with condoms?


Mickey Gordon  1:00:16

Well, they stink. I can’t feel anything. Okay, and always break the damn things.


Mallory Gordon  1:00:20

Oh, okay, so apparently you haven’t been listening lately. Have you not heard of condoms? Clearly not. Okay. This is going to be revolutionary for you as swingers. This is a game changer. These things are three times stronger. Three times thinner than traditional latex condoms. They’re vegan friendly. They don’t smell and you can use any blue with them without degrading the product.


Mickey Gordon  1:00:46

Are they made by leprechauns and they’re magical.


Mallory Gordon  1:00:48

They are magical, but I don’t believe they’re made by leprechaun.


Mickey Gordon  1:00:51

Holy moly. So a condom where I can actually feel my partner. Can I feel my partner’s body? Yes,


Mallory Gordon  1:00:56

you can. Oh, wow. Yeah. So what’s really neat about these is they adhere right to your skin with your body heat. And they’re cute. They have a little skirt. Wow, what’s the skirt for? So the skirts actually to protect skin to skin contact? Unlike latex condoms.


Mickey Gordon  1:01:12

So what you’re saying is these are mallery approved?


Mallory Gordon  1:01:14

Yes, they’re definitely mallery approved. And I think they’re Mickey approved, too.


Mickey Gordon  1:01:18

I think they will be Where can I find them?


Mallory Gordon  1:01:20

So the unique condoms are only sold on casual toys calm. So come visit us and check them out. Pick your size and have some fun.


Mickey Gordon  1:01:27

I think that’s exactly what we’re gonna go do.


Mallory Gordon  1:01:28

Yay. Hi, I’m Venus from the Venus cupholders podcast and I have a special message for all of the single ladies listening. What if you could have a loving, committed partner who wants to stay totally faithful to you, but who would love to see you have incredible experiences with others? It sounds too good to be true, right? It is true. You really can have it all and be loved, celebrated and even put on a pedestal. Learn more at Venus