Out of Bounds – Rules vs Boundaries in the Lifestyle

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So often when we meet folks we click with the conversation turns to “rules,” which often times become a checklist of things we shouldn’t do if we want the other side to continue engaging with us…that feels…wrong?

Is there a better conversation to have other than the “Pretty Woman,” conversation that goes something like this: “I’m pretty much a sure thing, but I never kiss on the mouth.”  What are some of our own boundaries & rules we’ve had over the years? What’s the DIFFERENCE between a “rule,” and a boundary?

Want some sexy things for your stocking?

Want to pick the best bourbon for a stocking STUFFER?

We’ll get into all of it on this week’s Casual Swinger!

Casual Toys

Kix’ies

Womanizer

Uberlube

Daisy Corsets

Hearing impaired? This podcast is transcribed for your convenience.

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Mallory Gordon  00:08

You’re listening to the casual swinger podcast. As your hosts, we need to warn you that the material you’re about to hear may be sexual or explicit in nature. This podcast is intended for an adult audience. Now we don’t expect you to act like adults once the button that

Mickey Gordon  00:22

we’re a married couple living in Florida with over 13 years of experience in the lifestyle and we take almost nothing seriously. Casual speakers of variety show meaning we’ll cover everything from music to events, travel, and even the occasional hilarious screw up. Our show was about entertainment. We’re not licensed professionals had anything and her stories, commentary and guidance should not be confused the opinions of a licensed professional.

Mallory Gordon  00:46

Now that you know, let’s take those pants off and get comfy.

Mickey Gordon  00:55

Hey, everybody, welcome back to another episode of casual swinger. My name’s Mickey

Mallory Gordon  01:00

and I am Mallory.

Mickey Gordon  01:01

I’m gonna be Mickey from now on. Like the Canadian version of me.

Mallory Gordon  01:05

Nice. I can’t be mother a nother day.

Mickey Gordon  01:09

Make a

Mallory Gordon  01:10

no I don’t think that is right.

Mickey Gordon  01:11

I just want to talk about Canadians cuz we’re friends honey spoon. Yeah,

Mallory Gordon  01:14

you missed them don’t yell. Little bit. Same same.

Mickey Gordon  01:16

Yeah, it’s alright though. Hey, guys, we’re gonna talk about rules and boundaries. Today. This is out of bounds talking about rules versus boundaries in the lifestyle. Do we have any rules Mallory?

Mallory Gordon  01:26

Of course we do. We do. I think so. Like Mallory always

Mickey Gordon  01:29

comes first.

Mallory Gordon  01:31

That’s one of them. I think that should be a rule right?

Mickey Gordon  01:34

Now he gets to do all the coming all the time.

Mallory Gordon  01:38

Oh, ha you push the button and didn’t work. No,

Mickey Gordon  01:41

I didn’t. There it is. It worked. I just didn’t press it because I thought I might get killed. I always start out these episodes with some kind of weird sound effect just because I know drives you fucking insane.

Mallory Gordon  01:51

Can you please not next one? Oh,

Mickey Gordon  01:54

I suppose me? I don’t know. I could be lying to you. I mean, I have I have all kinds of like Christmas ones. And our Christmas episodes coming. Oh, god, get it coming. We’re talking about coming now rules and boundaries. We’re gonna talk about folks. So what are we talking about rules and boundaries. We’re talking about the fact that so often, when we meet folks, we click with the conversation turns to rules, which oftentimes become a checklist of things we shouldn’t do if you want the other side to continue engaging with us. I think that kind of feels

Mallory Gordon  02:18

wrong. It does. I think it’s from a social perception. It feels awkward and clunky at times. Yeah. Like all of a sudden, it’s like, okay, we’re, we’re still deciding whether or not we like you. Or maybe we’re getting close to that determination. And all of a sudden, it’s like, alright,

Mickey Gordon  02:33

right, and then they’re like, Alright, so let’s everybody throw this on the table. And so where are you on? But

Mallory Gordon  02:39

sex? Yeah. That’s usually how I start every conversation. Well, I

Mickey Gordon  02:43

already know what Jess would say. Oh, yeah. What’s that? No. Every time angel comes up every time I bet she’s saying it right now somewhere and I Oh, yeah. No, no, no, she’s even though we’re recording this right now. But she probably is. But anyway, I think there’s a better way to start a conversation then. You know, the pretty woman.

Mallory Gordon  03:01

Oh, that’s a great analogy, actually.

Mickey Gordon  03:02

Yeah, that’s I did that just for you. Thanks. Now, what am I talking about to pretty woman like? Anything goes I’m pretty much a sure thing. But I don’t kiss on the mouth.

Mallory Gordon  03:11

Yeah, I mean, when you think about the the dialogue and that scene and of itself, I always find it very strange that like, you’re gonna take it in the butt or you’re totally fine with like putting your penis in the penis in your mouth, but not kissing. I always found that a very strange behavior.

Mickey Gordon  03:29

Oh, that as far as like rules that drive me personally nuts. I think No kissing is I think it’s actually a non starter for us in the lifestyle. i

Mallory Gordon  03:35

It’s such an odd part of the intimacy in the foreplay for me that I will most likely be out because of that. But it doesn’t mean I don’t respect other people’s roles and boundaries when it comes to that kind of stuff. But what it’s going to do, it’s going to trigger me to, like, try to like, needle into their psyche and find out why

Mickey Gordon  03:52

you had to use the word triggered, you know, that’s driving me nuts. I know, you just had to throw that out there. We don’t get triggered in this woman.

Mallory Gordon  03:59

We press buttons,

Mickey Gordon  04:00

I find our press your buttons until you trigger yourself right off the side of the bed. I think that happened last night. It did. But anyway, I think we’re going to talk a little bit today about some of our own boundaries and rules we’ve had over the years. What is the difference between a rule and a boundary? We’re gonna talk about some of that. Yeah, maybe just get into whatever the fuck else we want to show and this is casual swingers.

Mallory Gordon  04:20

I actually like the story around the evolution of rules and boundaries, too. So I think this will be fun.

Mickey Gordon  04:24

Yeah, it’s something different. We actually came up with this at PCAP. That’s true. Now this just kind of was that PCAP. That’s true.

Mallory Gordon  04:31

It was between sessions. Like in meals, we were just walking down the street and yeah,

Mickey Gordon  04:36

that’s true. Right? Well, we had just come out of lock and trysts. Session. Yes. And during lock interest session, it hit me that a lot of couples in the room, there was just this giant gap between rules and boundaries. And some of them talked about it like it was the same thing. And I’m like, it’s definitely not the fucking same thing. So

Mallory Gordon  04:53

maybe, maybe not. Yeah, well, we’re not gonna ruin the surprise.

Mickey Gordon  04:57

Let’s not do that. Let’s move the fuck on. Let’s talk about Turkey Day. Oh, it

Mallory Gordon  05:01

was so nice. Oh, we had every every child plus bonus child here, which was awesome. I have a bonus. I am the favorite grandparent of grand spawn.

Mickey Gordon  05:11

Oh eat shit.

Mallory Gordon  05:12

She loves me. It was loves boobies

Mickey Gordon  05:15

and you have

Mallory Gordon  05:16

baited she really did. I was totally cool being like the second human or maybe even third at that point because she does love her father very much to like, help soothe her and I don’t even care. It’s because I have dude, the

Mickey Gordon  05:29

casual dog was obsessed with her. Yeah, like he kept wanting to like jump up and sniffer.

Mallory Gordon  05:33

Yeah, he had all the like the wide eye and we have Rottweilers, who usually don’t see the whites in their eyes are like super excited and the prey drives kicking in.

Mickey Gordon  05:42

So I’m gonna eat it or fuck it. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but something’s gonna

Mallory Gordon  05:45

happen. I think he just wanted to aggressively snuffle her.

Mickey Gordon  05:48

He did he wanted to snuffle the crap out of her. But yeah, so we we had turkey day with everybody. And

Mallory Gordon  05:53

I only I only caught the cherry crisp on fire.

Mickey Gordon  05:57

Oh my god. I felt so bad for you for that. Because first of all, I really wanted to eat it. It was so bad that it threw the whole dish away. You literally threw the glass away everything. I am not chiseling the show off the side of this.

Mallory Gordon  06:11

It was like coal. I don’t know how I happened. I got distracted. Don’t

Mickey Gordon  06:14

put in my stockings. I’ve been very good this year. Yes, you have very good years. So

Mallory Gordon  06:20

gonna be bad.

Mickey Gordon  06:21

Well, so it right here. As of this moment, it’s Cyber Monday, we have waited to the last possible fucking minute to record this episode because you’re hanging out with the family by so casual Friday was the thing casual Friday is still a thing. And it’s a thing through tomorrow night. What are we talking about with casual Friday, we’re talking about our coupon code for casual toys. So that’s why we call this casual Friday. That’s just kind of this little section here. But kind of a cool story, I think is the casual offspring has started helping out a little bit with casual toys true, which makes my life a little bit easier. So if you guys reach out in the chat, you might actually get the casual offspring instead of one of us. Yeah.

Mallory Gordon  06:57

And feel free to ask it Introduce yourself. Yeah,

Mickey Gordon  07:00

right. She, she, she’s actually me with tits.

Mallory Gordon  07:03

So it’s literally I she is 100% you would Ted’s there no DNA is DNA test needed. And I love it so much.

Mickey Gordon  07:11

Yeah, she’s she’s something she’s always known about her lifestyle, too. She’s monogamous with her partner and everything. But she still thinks what we do is pretty crazy. So

Mallory Gordon  07:19

yeah, she’s but she’s very loving and supportive and even proud of us at times, which is super cool.

Mickey Gordon  07:24

I think it’s funny when she ends up either meeting listeners or talking to our friends about our show and turning her friends into listeners, which is only a lot weird, especially since I’ve known some of those people since they were younger. But it’s definitely strange. But hey, speaking of casual Friday, don’t forget that between now and tomorrow night, so Tuesday night, the 30th at midnight casual Friday, no space is a coupon for 20% off of casual toys. That’s our celebration of Black Friday. Although when you use a coupon code that big there’s nothing black about our numbers we some things we lose money on and I don’t care. I want you guys to take advantage of all of it. And something else that we didn’t put in the shownotes here for Mallory and I but make sure to take advantage of kicks ease if you catch this before then to 100% Got a great sale going on kicks you calm.

Mallory Gordon  08:08

Yes, that is true. And as much as I’d love for everyone to buy them from us. Yeah, deals the deal, bro. Right. Exactly. And

Mickey Gordon  08:17

what we do is for the community, yes.

Mallory Gordon  08:18

And speaking of we’re also going to do a coupon for DAISY corsets, aren’t we?

Mickey Gordon  08:23

Yeah, it’s there right now. It’s called. I think it’s dz bf 21. And that will get you 10% off between now and tomorrow night as well.

Mallory Gordon  08:30

Yes, because I mean, obviously we don’t make your make ship. Easy, but they’re really good. That’s just it. It’s one of my it’s probably my top two lingerie brand.

Mickey Gordon  08:39

Yeah, they’re their corsets their costumes. Matter of fact, we got a rig great guy named Phil that just ordered a really really, really sexy bunny costume for his ladies.

Mallory Gordon  08:49

I wonder if we get to see it on Twitter. I love when, by the way, cuz I feel it’s so selfish of me. If someone buys an outfit from us, and then post about it on Twitter, which is wonderful. By the way, don’t get me wrong. The marketing aspect is fantastic. But the inner pervert in me is like I love seeing

Mickey Gordon  09:06

people. That’s my favorite thing about some of our kicks.

Mallory Gordon  09:10

Yes. And empowered people like just fucking rocking it. And that makes my day.

Mickey Gordon  09:15

Yeah, well, mine too, because I’m a fucking perv. But anyways, hey, you know what? Let’s talk about Veronica for a minute Veronica reached out on Twitter. Miss Veronica? Yeah, yeah. And she’s like, Hey, I’d like to see a couple of things in this next episode. And you know what, when you guys ask us for something we deliver

Mallory Gordon  09:30

100%. So let’s talk about what she asked of us. She wanted us to do what

Mickey Gordon  09:34

she wanted us to provide some things for her sexy stocking, because she would like some ideas for what to buy, both for her and for men. And she also asked for some whiskey ideas. Hmm,

Mallory Gordon  09:45

okay. All right. I love this. All right, Should I go first? The obvious one, I talk too much 100% of the time the womanizer premium, or even the womanizer liberty but the womanizer is a staple in my arsenal. I Can’t live without it. In fact, my original hit a million miles, it’s still working but just doesn’t have the power it used to five, seven years ago, whatever it was.

Mickey Gordon  10:10

Alright guys, you got to understand that Mallory used this womanizer until it sounded like a fucking VW diesel motor. Okay, I’m

Mallory Gordon  10:17

not good at math, but they’re on average 365 days a year. Correct. Okay. And I masturbate on average, twice a day. Because that’s a lot for the days where I go for six times that day, and I need to average that out. Okay. Yeah, like about twice a day all masturbate. Okay, so do that.

Mickey Gordon  10:39

Last call this a roughly 5000 RPM toy in terms of the rotations per minute, twice a day for 300 That’s 230,000 miles you masturbated around the sun.

Mallory Gordon  10:49

So don’t even include when they use it and play. I’m so embarrassed to say that in some respects, but I am a chronic masturbator but it helps me alleviate stress. And I actually use that as part of the so I started working out a little bit more when I quit smoking and I started masturbating more so it’s really two times in the last year year and a half. But at least once before that I love the

Mickey Gordon  11:13

array smoking with masturbation I tried to get sex but

Mallory Gordon  11:16

I’m over here like what is it but you’re not always available? If I have time I can go masturbate.

Mickey Gordon  11:22

listeners that is so much larger than a cigarette that it wouldn’t have worked. That would have been no,

Mallory Gordon  11:26

that’s not what I said. You’re not playing fair. putting words in my mouth. And that’s not what we’re talking about in my mouth and something else in your mouth. Yes.

Mickey Gordon  11:34

So anyways, what else we got?

Mallory Gordon  11:36

What about the weave? I have no vote to Oh, so that’s your favorite rabbit? It 100% It’s

Mickey Gordon  11:41

really not a rabbit. But it’s a rabbit style.

Mallory Gordon  11:43

I was I was gonna say I would, I would talk about it as a rabbit style. Because it does have the internal mechanism and the external, the external being on the clit. It’s Pozible in you can turn them like the each have independent motors. Yeah, so you can use silicone and its body safe. So you can turn them on at the same time. You can have one on one off, it doesn’t matter. And that’s one of my favorite things is a lot of these rabbit toys in the market. It’s basically one button for both mechanisms and that kinds of crazy shit have right Titian and vibration. Yeah, yeah. And I’m like, I don’t need my cervix. You know, you know, massage to hell. It’s just not something I get off on. So, God, there’s that n plus we vibe in general, they have the universal charger. So if you already have a Wii vive toy, then it’s going to work with all of your chargers. So

Mickey Gordon  12:32

awesome. And then we got some of our staples that we talked about. We’ve already mentioned in this episode, like Casey’s Uber lube is so hard to go wrong with some of these staples. There’s things we promote your casual toys like unique condoms, kicks ease, Uber lube, the we buy products, the womanizer products, because they are amazing. You can’t go wrong with

Mallory Gordon  12:53

100% and if you’re looking to get a little freaky, like the underbed restraints, yeah, because you can size them for any mattress right sports sheets makes a great set for intro and then they have some more advanced ones or some more upscale ones too.

Mickey Gordon  13:07

Yes worksheets has some Liberator has some thing I like about the Liberator stuff is a really nice cuffs. The cuffs are really

Mallory Gordon  13:12

the cuffs. Yep, the cops are super cute and even have the harnesses and the collars. Oh, yeah. So and the leashes like if you wanted to do any, like, you know, dumb thing or

Mickey Gordon  13:22

kind of brings us to a gift set and we don’t have a lot of gift sets in the store. We have a few but most of them are kind of hokey. This one’s kind of neat NAS toys na s s toys makes something called the traveller, and it comes in a briefcase, and it’s a 10 piece bondage playset it comes with a mask and a leash and a collar and a couple of wrist cuffs and some ankle cuffs and some chains and some nipple clamps and a ball gag and a whip and a paddle and a partridge and a motherfucking

Mallory Gordon  13:50

you’re gonna love it. No, that’s perfect but can you imagine walking in the room and like it’s sexy time lights are low in his briefcase

Mickey Gordon  13:57

like can you break into song like two nipple clamps? No, all right, maybe not. But anyway, check that shit out. That’s really cool. And how about your favorites?

Mallory Gordon  14:06

Oh my god the nor handmade now these are absolutely stunning. And if you’re at PCAP and you’re listening it’s the outfit I wore for superhero motherfucker the one piece like the one I sent my dude cuz I’m an idiot.

Mickey Gordon  14:21

I know I zip your boots. Yeah, I

Mallory Gordon  14:22

was gonna take heat for that.

Mickey Gordon  14:24

No it was me. I went home and you went and almost punched me in the forehead.

Mallory Gordon  14:27

Yeah, but they have a ton like their line has a ton of options in there anyone anything from like a little lace see through dress to like little leather panties and booty shorts and then they have these like suit like blowjob legging thing. Oh and are super hot.

Mickey Gordon  14:45

I basically everything new are handmade is hot as shit it is and

Mallory Gordon  14:49

it’s super comfortable, easy to get on and off. Very very well made and it comes in a beautiful packaging with like tissue paper and whatnot from like, like if you buy like the higher end lingerie it feels and looks the same without it feels premium it is previous

Mickey Gordon  15:06

like opening Apple lingerie what yeah, like we’re all Apple when you open an apple part of getting an Apple product brand new is the experience of opening it. Right it’s okay it’s a thing and if you look at packaging you enjoy opening Apple product everybody does that’s why we type jobs ball.

Mallory Gordon  15:25

I fucking disagree because it makes me nervous because it’s so like fucking airtight. Anytime you’ve gotten me something Apple, I go to open it I’m like, Oh dear God, it’s gonna like eject like out of force because I’m going to break the fucking air seal.

Mickey Gordon  15:38

I’m just stuck on the whole airtight thing because we haven’t done that to you yet. Anyway.

Mallory Gordon  15:41

Alright, moving on. Hey, let’s talk about the guys. What about a guy stalking? What are we going to? What would you put in there? What are some sexy ideas for dudes?

Mickey Gordon  15:48

Well, you know, for guys, it’s tough, right? Because there’s obviously there aren’t a lot of toys that are made for guys that are to be used together. Okay, I mean, there masturbators are shitloads of those. There’s tons of toys out there that look like lady parts of a guy or an ass or a doll or any of those things are again masturbators like the tango flip, for example, which is an amazing masturbator. But I think something that a lot of people don’t think about getting for their guy is a prostate massager like the, the the narrows helix or the Vive vector. Those are both really, really

Mallory Gordon  16:24

good. And again, we vibe, you can share chargers,

Mickey Gordon  16:27

yes, you can share chargers, then there’s also an app for it so your partner can actually control your experience a little bit for the guys out there that are not terribly sensitive. I know some of you get a little wound up about this shit. But keep in mind, you know, prostate play can help get you over the edge. That’s something there’s another way to kind of you know, move things along. But for menswear The other thing you can think of is male power male power makes guys underwear. There’s been a couple of posts out there lately honey spoon participated. BIRDSELL participated on Twitter. Those both of those guys posted some you know their swimwear or your underwear and just said hey guys can dress up to well, male power makes product to do that.

Mallory Gordon  17:06

Yes. 100% And I’m on that train. I love it when guys feel sexy, and dress sexy, and I think it’s very underrated. Like how how appealing that is. I don’t know that it’s been voiced enough.

Mickey Gordon  17:21

Yeah, probably not. And you know what a lot of the stuff we just talk about outside of the men’s underwear is kind of expensive. So there are some quick hitters out there things like caulk rings, caulk slings, things like micro vibes, right?

Mallory Gordon  17:34

Or, you know, lube. Uber lube. Yeah, that’s a great one. Or massage candles, right? Oh, the massage candles? Yes. The ones that when you light them and they start to melt, they’re warm, but they’re not hot. Yes. And they’re made with essential oils as well as massage oils and it’s a hemp company and the name is escapes me. But if you earthly body earthly body, thank you. Those are wonderful and intimate. Earth makes a great massage oils. That’s great for like couples play. If you want to get like a stocking for you both. Maybe there’s an intimate evening. And also the the hot wax and I use that with air quotes. Candles, right for a little, you know, wax play.

Mickey Gordon  18:11

Well, it’s all really cool stuff. And some of our jewelry is actually really hot at Christmas, too. We talked about like body jewelry. Oh yeah, body jewelry, or some of the necklaces or or the bracelets. Like we’ve got a new necklace that says ethical slut. For example.

Mallory Gordon  18:26

Can I yeah, she’s super cool.

Mickey Gordon  18:27

I just think that some of this stuff is really neat. It’s all available in casual toys. Veronica asked Veronica receives.

Mallory Gordon  18:34

So there you go. So let’s go on to whiskies before we run long in the intro. Sure.

Mickey Gordon  18:38

Let’s talk about whiskies now. This is not a whiskey of the month. This is just a couple of whiskies that we looked at that would be great gifts for your significant other Mm hmm.

Mallory Gordon  18:47

So what’s the first one?

Mickey Gordon  18:49

Well, obviously November’s whiskey of the month is top of my list. Blaydon bow

Mallory Gordon  18:53

100% It’s a very delicious rich whiskey.

Mickey Gordon  18:57

Yeah, yeah, it is it well it’s got it’s got a great flavor it’s got a great initial notes on it. It’s got a great a great after palate I think everything about bleeding bows Very good. It’s an underrated whiskey that a lot of people miss on the shelf because the bottle isn’t super cool. And it’s absolutely amazing.

Mallory Gordon  19:14

I you know, I like it because it’s a stout bottle so it’s shorter right? Instead of a tall skinny bottle comes with a cookie told the key story and that episode. It’s just a great all around drinkable

Mickey Gordon  19:26

whiskey I’m loving right now because the real estate shortage

Mallory Gordon  19:30

I know and you hate my bottles because I’m a huge fan of the the Willett Oh yeah. Number two. Yeah. Which we probably won’t do whiskey in the month now, but I mentioned it but it’s for the normal sized bottle. It’s actually beautiful. Kind of looks like a genie bottle. But it’s a potstill bourbon, so it’s a little sharper. Yeah. But on the rocks or with the water back. It’s got a lot of depth of flavor. It’s super smooth. And again, a great value for the price like if you tasted that whiskey and your whiskey Well, it’s really a bourbon. Yeah. kind of sore. You’d be surprised to find that it’s it’s right at $50

Mickey Gordon  20:06

Yeah, it’s a really full bodied whiskey too. I think that if you like Postel sour mash that sort of thing. You’re gonna get into the Willett. It’s it’s really quite amazing. One of my personal favorites at a heaven Hill distillery is Elijah Craig barrel proof,

Mallory Gordon  20:21

you know? Yeah, the barrel strength bottle for me. I was a little surprised at how much flavor I got off of it. Because usually when you have a barrel proof or barrel strength, it’s so punchy and so hot that you really take some time this one not this one. It’s it’s got a very good flavor. It’s

Mickey Gordon  20:37

120 proof it is so you don’t have to watch you’ll get fucked up you can

Mallory Gordon  20:41

give up off this one really quick. You have to watch your poor mine I mean, this is a reliable and our house. We drink quite a few rides. I think Whistlepig is one that’s out there that a lot of people underestimate the whole pie. No, I know. It’s a great ride though. It’s kind of Steely. I will let people know that it does have that steel barrel, or steel still taste to it. But it’s it makes it super clean at the same rate and as a great mixing and neat.

Mickey Gordon  21:13

Yeah, at the price point. It’s a little tough to mix it unless you’re really of that age, though. If you’re you can do it.

Mallory Gordon  21:19

I was gonna say your craft like high end craft cocktail at home person. I highly encourage them because some of the best Manhattan’s I’ve ever had has been made with a pig.

Mickey Gordon  21:29

Yeah, it’s it’s really good. So that’s the whistle pig. 10 year and another one, ironically enough, because the whistle pig brand rep is dating the old elk brand rep in the state of Florida and we’re friends with both of them. Old elk is on my list and that’s old elk blended bourbon. Yeah. See together? Yeah,

Mallory Gordon  21:47

I actually, I just started drinking it. And I know you’ve talked a lot about it, but I’ve had the Infinity though. I had the Infinity bottle which has a cool story. We’re gonna save that for whiskey the month no,

Mickey Gordon  21:57

it’s way too expensive for that. Okay,

Mallory Gordon  21:58

we’re gonna save that for another time because it has an incredible story around it. It’s fucking insane. Yeah, like I looked at that bottle that was like I have to be very careful because I could hoard that and cash it and make

Mickey Gordon  22:10

it my precious Yeah, you would punish it. Yeah, it’s really good though. Yes, but yeah, so old out blended comes in right about 50 bucks by the way that Elijah Craig barrel proof is $100 bottle it’ll never be whiskey of the month because it can’t be but it’s absolutely fucking amazing.

Mallory Gordon  22:23

Yeah, an old oak by the way is a bourbon. I think that’s why I like it. I’m more bourbon than I am right even though we drink a lot of rice here. Yeah.

Mickey Gordon  22:31

And so last but not least one that came from one of our Austin trip oh

Mallory Gordon  22:35

my gosh, this was such a surprise because we went years ago to visit GE and Angie down there and we just happen to pop into a liquor store that they were doing a tasting and we ended up bringing bottles we checked the bag to bring the bottles home with us. And that’s going to be what the myelin green

Mickey Gordon  22:48

my lemon Green Done. This is their this is their Port Cask finish right now by the way, my lemon green when we were down there no one knew who they were. No, we were crazy models. Somebody signed it for us now they are hot shit and

Mallory Gordon  23:01

Texas apparently we saw them in a magazine. Yeah,

Mickey Gordon  23:03

well they went double gold in San Francisco last year which is the only last bottle to win double gold that I saw was Eagle rare. So if that gives you any context, I mean you go rare you can’t fucking find anywhere right now. But anyway. Hey, last but not least, you need condoms has a new packaging that’s rolling out so right now it’s on our poll condoms. If you order polls from us right now you’re gonna see a different package than you’re used to. But I really like it. It’s smaller. It’s easier to carry.

Mallory Gordon  23:28

It’s easier to get open. Oh, well,

Mickey Gordon  23:30

you would know that more say what? Your you got my luck than I do? Yes. Anyway, for those of you that don’t know, unique condoms, our absolute favorite condom for lifestyle activities are three times thinner than latex. Three times stronger. No taste no smell that matters to Mallory. Yes,

Mallory Gordon  23:44

it does, because we like to switch and engage.

Mickey Gordon  23:48

That’s right. So if you haven’t tried one, buy one pack of each size, and that’s the 1234 that’s secure fit pole plus and double XL. If you don’t know what your size is, you’ll get 10% off or buy 10 packs automatically you get 10% off. It’s like a free pack if you buy 10 Cool. So there you go. How about PCAP let’s talk about Kate for quick

Mallory Gordon  24:08

second. Holy shit. It’s a third sold out already. I know. And that fucking nut That’s fucking awesome. So awesome. I can’t wait to say I can’t wait to go to this event. And I know that the rooms are gonna go quickly. So I can’t encourage everyone. Strong enough to just Buck just go ahead and buck.

Mickey Gordon  24:27

Yeah, and I don’t know like, I mean encore was kind of an anomaly for us like to lock interest point. We weren’t even presenting that thing. We just kind of showed up and did stuff. So this one we have a session coming up in Palm Springs

Mallory Gordon  24:39

we do. I was super excited. I love how our session turned out in Miami. I think we have the seed of a beautiful idea for this event in Palm Springs. And I think it will be a won’t miss and I I’m not a braggadocious kind of person, but I’m very excited about the content.

Mickey Gordon  24:57

No, I think I think it’s gonna be a lot of fun. I’m sure we’re gonna enjoy Doing it you know something else speaking of Veronica earlier when she asked her something she got it well our listeners have been asking for something else lately they’ve been asking for branded wear that doesn’t say swinger

Mallory Gordon  25:10

you know people have been saying that for years so I guess we have good news for them.

Mickey Gordon  25:13

We do we’ve got a new rebrand coming your way we’ve got some new wear coming your way that does not say swinger on it. So look forward to that. It’s just going to be some goodies for you guys. We’re gonna put it all out there pretty much at our costs. So if you guys want to put some casual swinger shit on your back on your head, on your boobies or on your Naughty Bear on You naughty bits, we’re gonna come up with some good stuff for you. So that’s coming. And then of course next episode you also have whiskey of the month.

Mallory Gordon  25:39

Whoo. We need like the music for it bomb bomb bomb.

Mickey Gordon  25:43

So that’s coming your way too. Awesome. And that is pretty much our update. Before we get into this shot. It felt like an entire fucking episode. It was damn near half. I mean, it was it’s a lot but you know what we had a lot going on. It’s the holiday.

Mallory Gordon  25:55

I know. I know we but an injury. I think it needs to be a segment not an intro anymore. Because an injury is like five to 10 minutes. long winded.

Mickey Gordon  26:04

Well, no, I’m long winded. I talk too much. You can do all the talking. I know I do all the Dykema it’s all you right after you tell everybody where to find.

Mallory Gordon  26:11

Oh, we are casual swinger everywhere. You can find us a casual swinger calm and if you want to send us a message that’s podcast at casuals. mentor.com. We are on social media. That is Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram. Also you like us want to see something nice. Feel free to leave us a review on iTunes and if you don’t fuck off. And no, just kidding. No. So mean. We’re also on the dating sites. You can find this on W nation Cassie, SLS and sec.

Mickey Gordon  26:39

Alright, and don’t forget to check out Mallory at Mallory masturbates it only fans. No, that’s not a thing. Oh, no.

Mallory Gordon  26:48

I promised my wife today. I promised my boss.

Mickey Gordon  26:52

Okay. We’ll be back in a hot second. You’ve been listening

Mallory Gordon  27:13

and we’re back with cashmere sweater. That’s us that OSI? That’s you. Hi. Hi, everybody. We’re here.

Mickey Gordon  27:22

What a stupid fucking way to come back.

Mallory Gordon  27:24

I’m sorry. All right.

Mickey Gordon  27:26

Yeah, so we’re still making Mallory. 30 seconds after you guys left us.

Mallory Gordon  27:29

Yes. Hi, everyone. I hope you missed me.

Mickey Gordon  27:31

Let’s talk rules versus boundaries. Yes, yes. Where we’re going. We

Mallory Gordon  27:34

don’t need any rules. I do what I want. Yeah, that’s literally your fucking mantra in life. By the way do I do what I want you drive up to down staircase and every parking lot ever. I and

Mickey Gordon  27:43

every time you give me shit about I do what I want.

Mallory Gordon  27:46

I know it gives me a fucking tick.

Mickey Gordon  27:49

Especially like if I’m taking my half out of the middle on a road that doesn’t have lines on it. You’re like you’re not on your side of the road. Like I do what I want I know so awesome. That comes from Cartman right from South Carolina where the fuck it comes from I

Mallory Gordon  28:00

just do it. Just to drive you I think it’s Cartman Yeah, anyway, but it is

Mickey Gordon  28:05

but rules versus boundaries is it so that I wonder is why the fuck do you newbies have so many rules?

Mallory Gordon  28:12

Okay, rewind the tape bit. We were newbies once upon a time especially i i was a complete right back when Methuselah roamed the earth fuck you. It was 15 years ago. But it’s there mostly out of fear right? Especially when you start out like you create rules to insulate you from any mishaps I mean, happening because this is just this is total Greenfield.

Mickey Gordon  28:36

Yeah, I think that fear is a motivator that we create rules to protect us from the things that we fear the most right like we tell our kids to be home before dark because we don’t want you know some of the big bad things in the dark to come out and catch them. Yeah, bad me. I’m trying to get rid of the kids. I’m gonna here go outside the dark gone. Go. Oh, look traffic. Oh, yeah. Go play. Roll around play Frogger No, I honestly, I think that that fear is a powerful motivator. And in some cases, it genuinely is what we tell people which is false evidence appearing real but in some cases, it’s valid right fire we’re afraid of fire because fire

Mallory Gordon  29:08

burns. Yeah, I think that comes with their self sense of self preservation.

Mickey Gordon  29:11

Yeah, maybe a little bit. But let’s talk about some of the most common rules we hear and see and very specifically rules rules and we will talk about what is a rule versus what is a boundary here. A rule meaning this is a thing do not break it do not pass this line. Do not pass go if you cross this line in the sand, you’re gonna fucking die.

Mallory Gordon  29:29

Yes. Kind of like loss.

Mickey Gordon  29:33

Like last but not because I’m gonna shoot about the logs and do what I

Mallory Gordon  29:36

want. Got, you’re gonna make this one really tough to get through. All right, yeah, probably. So most of these rules actually come from either someone else’s profile that they’ve read or fears that this could potentially happen. So it comes out of the subconscious to the conscious mind and reveals itself and you’re like, Yeah, I don’t want to do that.

Mickey Gordon  29:54

Yeah, or like, I’m afraid someone’s gonna ask me for that. I’m gonna say right now that ain’t gonna fucking happen. So don’t bother. Yes. The reality is that a lot of these rules probably came out because it did happen to somebody somewhere along the line. That’s what you saw it on a post except for the one that Sydney University, you’re not allowed to use my pictures, that thing that’s in everybody’s profile. I could choke them for it because the place doesn’t even exist, but

Mallory Gordon  30:16

continue now but it’s a great social experiment. It is. Okay, some rules. So let’s talk about some of the most common rules moto rules. The hence the newbie couple. I’m gonna call them Oh, Doyle rules.

Mickey Gordon  30:31

No Doyle rules. Let’s do it. Alright,

Mallory Gordon  30:32

same room only. Oh, this is super Kahneman. And you know what? I still enjoy same room play for a multitude of reasons. separate room play is a still a novelty for me. And it’s a, it’s ancillary to everything else. Like it’s not part of the core system. But I can see why this is a core set of somebodies rule system.

Mickey Gordon  30:52

Yeah, I guess I can, too. It’s maybe comfort, maybe consideration? Maybe making sure your partner is safe for a guy?

Mallory Gordon  31:00

Yeah. Especially if the exchange I mean, we swing probably differently than the than a core set of lifestyle community, right? At least more than or less than 50%. Yeah, I say that. I

Mickey Gordon  31:13

think some of the crazier permutations of it are like when somebody says, Okay, same room, only old things can only happen every visit in the same room. And if somebody gets up to go take a piss, like, like some crazy, like red light green light game, I know, like, red light green light bag, like they just like, oh, somebody went to be everybody stopped, do I need to pull out? Or do I just stay mid stroke until they come back? I mean, like, I don’t get it,

Mallory Gordon  31:36

I get everyone’s new at some point. So some of this makes sense. It’s I guess I get a little confused or maybe even concerned when someone’s you know, I’ll use air quotes, again, establishing the lifestyle on these some of these rules still apply, which, which makes me worry about the emotional security of their relationship.

Mickey Gordon  31:53

Yeah. And honestly, I don’t mind them talking about it. It’s when it’s all in this giant lake constitutional Bill of Rights type thing in their profile. And I’m supposed to remember all of it, we get together and not have a conversation

Mallory Gordon  32:05

I I’m going to be honest, I cannot pack my belly and rub my head at the same time. So that’s not going to work for me. No, you’re gonna have to call audibles. It’s gonna be that complex. Another

Mickey Gordon  32:15

one that we see a lot is we only play together no exceptions. Why? Just kind of assume, right that you guys play together? Because we’re talking together, the four of us are speaking together. I’m never going to go to somebody and go, Hey, how do you feel about leaving your husband at home? That has never crossed my mind. But it has happened to me. I was

Mallory Gordon  32:31

gonna say, I know that people say that, because for two reasons. One, they’re scared that it’s going to be part of the conversation. They don’t want to make it awkward in the moment, which is fine. But also they’ve been approached and ask that like, and I think it’s not uncommon lifestyle for a couple to identify a female portion of a male couple, because a lot of them especially when they’re starting out, they feel most comfortable, just like a unicorn. And they’re like, we just want to play with you. Yeah. And it just lets everyone know, like, it’s a package deal or nothing at all.

Mickey Gordon  33:00

Yeah. And I actually kind of dig that. I don’t mind that people put that out there because I’ve been offended before by and I realized today, you know, Eckstein 20 years later, whatever the fuck it is. I, you know, I know it wasn’t about me. They weren’t going, Hey, you’re not good enough. They were saying we’re really looking for a female because he is insecure and doesn’t want anyone else to touch her. But he really wants to sleep with another girl and your wife as hot as balls. And you are. So we’d really like to be with her. And not it’s okay. If you come you can watch us fuck your wife. I’m like, you’re really gonna want me to sit here in the chair and hang

Mallory Gordon  33:37

out. So much. Like, oh, thank you kind of you.

Mickey Gordon  33:41

I’m glad somebody else wants to bang my hot ass wife. No. So I completely get where people come from with that rule. And honestly, that would make sense to me.

Mallory Gordon  33:48

Yeah. This one and I don’t even know that this is a newbie rule. I think this is mostly universal, except for special exceptions and specific relationships not relating to ours. Or condoms are required.

Mickey Gordon  34:00

No shit, Sherlock.

Mallory Gordon  34:02

i Yeah, I know. But I do feel like this needs to be said because we’ve looked at profiles before. And like they’ve opened up the private gallery. And then all of a sudden you’re like, different policy, different policy, different policy? Different policy? No condom? Oh, yeah. And I don’t I don’t want to hate it when there’s a snap judgment there. But I’m only human and I can’t help it. That is a deal breaker for me.

Mickey Gordon  34:23

Yeah. Well, and another thing is sometimes we see couples who are like, hey, ultimately, what we’re looking for is a condom free relationship with somebody.

Mallory Gordon  34:32

That’s awesome. Put it out there if you want a fluid bond. Well,

Mickey Gordon  34:35

and I guess that’s cool. Good on you that you’re putting it out there. That’s what you’re looking for. But what would scare me is how many people are you testing those waters with that that makes me nervous. You’re talking to the germaphobe here? Yeah. Well, it makes me nervous for you, honestly. I mean, it’s, oh,

Mallory Gordon  34:51

no, I like knowing upfront but it is going to I will more than likely pivot and I like that they’re that upfront and I’m sorry that it’s going to And the physical part very, very quickly for them like we’re gonna be friends I will fucking wingman for you we’re gonna party together, but I don’t want to sleep with you.

Mickey Gordon  35:08

Here’s my challenge with this personally, that I deal with people talk about things like condoms are a must. And they leave it at that. But they don’t necessarily talk about what is what is your process for how you deal with like something like a breakage. And that’s where rules fall short because rules, just like the the phrase that we talked about all the time, I trust you. It’s not fair to say this is the rule. But then there’s all these other ancillary things that happen around it or can happen around it that you don’t talk about, right? And then you go, but the rule was, and it’s like, Wait, that we didn’t cover this in your garden? Yeah,

Mallory Gordon  35:43

can I burst the bubble just a little bit, just a teeny little bit, maybe just lift the skirt that everyone loves when you lift your shirt? Good. So for me it’s a flowchart. Right

Mickey Gordon  35:55

I’m so glad you didn’t say Venn diagram because I would erect

Mallory Gordon  35:57

I know you love it. It’s a flowchart for me. Yes and no yes and no if I know then that if this then that we have the rules in place, right? Like yes, we use condoms when we play that’s a given like we don’t have to engage each other on that because it’s been established a very very, very long time. But we also know that circumstances beyond our control acts of God if you may God happen and the perfect one condom breaks. No one intended for that shit to happen. But there’s protocols in place like we use we like to call common sense logic yet, you know, first of all, like don’t fucking panic. You don’t have to bring the house down. You don’t have to run until like, it’s okay. You have to deal with this. We all know it can happen. So and this is going to be up to everyone else’s standard some people may want to stop play right then in there. She’s not desist. That’s fine. If that’s your rule. For me. The damage is done at that point. Yeah. Now that does not give you like the Go ahead. Like go on baby. Just bear with me, sir. Odds exponentially

Mickey Gordon  37:11

over No, no, actually seen that we have we have

Mallory Gordon  37:14

seen that. But you and I have an understanding that, you know, we’re gonna apply common sense this and if it breaks, great. We’re gonna inform each other after the fact. But go ahead and put another one on.

Mickey Gordon  37:25

Yeah. Well, and that kind of goes back to our biggest rule, which is no secrets, no surprises. Right. It’s a rule that we can actually live by without pissing each other off. Oh, hey, if something happens, let me know. And I,

Mallory Gordon  37:40

I love that one so much. Because for me, nothing scares me more than the things I don’t know. No, I can deal off the cuff in unexpected in, in most of the elements. But when it comes to stuff like this, I play it, it plays so close to the vest that I in a lot of cases, I have to digest it. And as long as you keep me informed, I mean, I am completely copacetic even in the in the most stressful environment,

Mickey Gordon  38:05

even if it’s something you’re not prepared for, or you’re not comfortable with, as long as it’s not some sort of secret because a surprise that was a secret is offensive to everybody.

Mallory Gordon  38:15

Yeah. And it is a little awkward. It’s happened a few times, no one’s perfect that a situation is coming up and you’re like, oh, yeah, yeah, blah. And then you give me the rundown. But maybe I got the first inkling of information for someone else. There’s a there’s a tinge of there’s a there’s something that happens internally that kind of like, Have you ever done a twisting motion? So you have like a sheet on the floor and you put your palm out? You grasp it and you twist wraps around? You’re in? Yeah, yeah. It that’s kind of what it feels like in your gut a little bit. You’re like, oh, I don’t like how that feels. Well, I never

Mickey Gordon  38:48

want to be here because it sets in is they want to know what else is there? There’s more. Yeah, well, wait, there’s more. Yeah,

Mallory Gordon  38:54

you’re not scared of the information you just received. You’re scared of the ambiguity that may be behind it.

Mickey Gordon  38:58

Billy Mays here for secret swingers. We’ve got lots of secrets for you today. But wait, there’s more.

Mallory Gordon  39:04

Did Billy Mays turn into strip club DJ

Mickey Gordon  39:08

sapphires fire to the stage. Now Hey, but since we haven’t covered this before about condom breakage, guys, we have never actually covered that. There’s a couple of rules for a broken condom that you guys should probably follow and not rules like these are the unbreakable like commandments of condom breakage. But first thing like Mallory

Mallory Gordon  39:23

said what we do like we should say yeah, this is not at all. Number

Mickey Gordon  39:27

one. Don’t panic. Right. Don’t freak out. It can’t happen. You knew it could happen. You’re having sex. Don’t freak out. Number two, take it off. Don’t keep going. Yeah, I know that sounds like it makes common sense. But it is.

Mallory Gordon  39:41

Yeah. Would you realize it’s happened? Stop, stop. Drop and Roll. I mean, but if you do send this video

Mickey Gordon  39:47

Oh, yeah. If you stop and roll, stop, drop and roll. We need to see pictures. Right? That should happen. Hey, this this should not be foreign to you. But as Mallory just said, put another one on. Yeah. Right. This is this is why this is actually a rule.

Mallory Gordon  39:58

So for us. I find it exciting. trouble at that point, like you’ve assessed the damage, you’ve mitigated the damage. And you can proceed. Yes. On with the party. Yes. On to the end. And hey, by the way, when you do have a breakage, and this is, this is, this is just a rule for us if you have a rule get checked before you play with somebody else. I mean, we generally have a rule that we get tracked every time we play with somebody. Yeah. But if Yeah, if you’re swapping partners, I would fully encourage getting checked even more than once, because there are a few things that can linger and wait to pop up. So

Mickey Gordon  40:33

no secrets no surprises for anybody, including our partners that we play with. But

Mallory Gordon  40:37

I here’s one that was that I find fascinating because it’s it’s a dynamic, we’ve incorporated a little more recently, like this one. But it’s only because of the we’ve received adversity against it because people are so protective, and having a fear is no speaking to my spouse unless I’m present. So this, this actually goes into like the traditional group texts that happens, right? As couples so you can all get to know each other in a group platform or stay all stay connected. But there are some people that have a rule like I can’t talk to the husband independently, like maybe the wife’s Okay, or maybe not, but we’re not allowed to speak separately on the sidelines,

Mickey Gordon  41:20

which is so weird. It’s like you’re almost automatically creating an adversarial relationship with the other couple. In saying that, I think that one of you is going to do something skullduggery as before, this is all said and done. So I’m going to need you all to stay keep your hands where I can see them.

Mallory Gordon  41:35

Yeah. You know, and your hands and feet inside the cart, keep your hands and feet inside my

Mickey Gordon  41:41

wife at all times. Yeah, no, I don’t understand that necessarily. But I honestly, I don’t seek that out. But I think we have two relationships today where I feel comfortable talking to the female solo, and it’s just there were friends,

Mallory Gordon  41:55

only two, because I can name like, 12. Um, well, a two that we have a two primary that I was okay. I was gonna say it’s okay to that we

Mickey Gordon  42:03

have sex. Yeah, okay. Yeah. And I feel perfectly comfortable talking to them, chatting with them, having jokes with them. Even making sexy jokes with them. It’s great. And it’s and I’m like, why isn’t it always like this? And you know why? It’s not always like, be flirty. Like, it’s why? Because it’s not. Okay, not always like that. It’s not always comfortable. That’s fair. And that’s not a rule. It’s just life.

Mallory Gordon  42:24

Okay, just a thought. That’s fair. No, maybe there’s a double standard, because I’m on the female side of the equation here. Mm hmm. So I don’t know there, there’s probably more I want to say there’s three or four in my wheelhouse that I can talk independently like that to some a little more naughty than others.

Mickey Gordon  42:43

I’ve been a little more reserved about that, just because I don’t want to upset a guy, right? I don’t want to step on his toes because I’m pretty flirty anyway. And given what we do and where we go, liberty, I am flirty. And so sometimes I worry that I’m going to say something that they might consider untoward even though I never meant it that way. Okay, that’s I respect that rule, even though I don’t get it. I respect it. Does that make any sense?

Mallory Gordon  43:08

Yeah. And it is an interesting behavior, because for the way we swing and meet people in the lifestyle, you know, we talked about the friends first. And I, I actually think it’s fascinating, looking back at our history and going, you know, I could name you know, a few dozen of these folks that we’ve had relationships with where we could have conversations independently, but very few times, it involved a deep connection at the sexual level, that that we have those conversations with those folks that we engage with that with and I just find it kind of ironic, I think it’s because we want to protect the other parties on the other side. And, you know, I don’t want to cause like, impasse or anything like that. But like, I think we’re very astute. Yeah. Well, other people’s emotion ever asked. You never know, though. Fair, fair. But I think we’ve always been very hesitant to protect other people. Just because we don’t have those hangouts doesn’t mean they don’t,

Mickey Gordon  43:59

right, we got one rule left, you want to cover this when you want me to? Um, go for it. All right, well, so this one actually, I don’t mind this one, either, necessarily, which is we only play with partners that have been tested for STIs, or STDs and can show us proof of testing. That doesn’t mean we’re not going to go on a date doesn’t mean we’re not going to get drinks. But before the pants come off, we’d like to see a recent recurrent test.

Mallory Gordon  44:22

You know, I like this one. I do. But I also know that the interwebs and Photoshop to do wonders for authenticity. So I like this rule very, very much. However, in practice, I don’t know that it gives you any 100% guarantee and there was great advice given once upon a time and you can give the the person or people credit for it. They we play under the impression that there’s a likelihood of contracting like we just play as as somebody else’s potentially infected like, and I know that’s not the sexiest mentality to have that absorbs Cooper. Yeah. It’s not the sexiest mentality to have, but it does allow us to, you know, hold strong and our precautions that we have in place.

Mickey Gordon  45:10

Yeah, I think so. I think there’s a permutation of that, that makes me sad. And I wish people didn’t do it. And honestly, when I see it, I immediately discount the idea of engaging with them. And that’s where they only agreed to meet or play with people that agree with them politically. And they put their political beliefs in their profile. So I’m like, Okay, I’m out. I’m out. That would give a shit who you voted for?

Mallory Gordon  45:32

Yeah, I don’t either. Which is funny, because I think you and I, at times, we balance each other out, we kind of rotate. Yeah, you know, in certain facets and in cold air in the middle. And I think there’s, I mean, if you really wanted to put out there’s opportunity for discourse, and expansion of the mind, but as a general rule, it’s not something we even discuss these relationships. No, not at all. Not even I don’t care.

Mickey Gordon  45:58

I mean, I think I can figure out where somebody falls, if they’re like, Hey, you want to go shooting? Or you know, they will show up in a let’s go Brandon T shirt or something? And I’m like, okay, I can figure that out. But I don’t need you to tell me. And I need you to tell me that the way I feel is not okay. Because it because you asked me specifically. Yeah, if it was okay. Like, I don’t care. It just doesn’t matter.

Mallory Gordon  46:18

You know, and your rules or your rules came from our grandparents, like, socially speaking, you don’t talk about politics, sex or money, or well, politics, religion or money. We talk about sex. So a lot. You know, John, yeah,

Mickey Gordon  46:32

enough of the rules already. I mean, I think we’ve covered that there are a shitload of rules out there. And people throw all these rules down, like some sort of Bill of Rights or constitution or Declaration of Independence, when they meet for the first time and go, What are your rules? Here’s all rules it’s exchanging. But what they don’t necessarily do is talk about them. And when you start to talk about rules, you really realize that what you’re trying to get to is boundaries, like how do I live with you as a friend that I have sex with? And not piss you off? It’s not looking for landmines, which rules are, but just figuring out what’s important to you, and just kind of knowing

Mallory Gordon  47:07

you, and I’m going to take that a step further. It’s not even knowing what you want is also can be interpreted as protecting what you are what you have in our relationship, your feelings, for example,

Mickey Gordon  47:23

what 14 years do rules change? If we’d been Swinging 14 years, like we have our rules changed?

Mallory Gordon  47:30

I think rules have been eliminated. Yeah. Yeah.

Mickey Gordon  47:33

We added any new ones? I don’t know that we’ve added new, I would just taken them away,

Mallory Gordon  47:37

I think. Yeah, I think we’ve, you know, systematically eliminated rules and have looked towards boundaries more often. Um, because the condom thing has always been a steadfast Yeah, 100% of what

Mickey Gordon  47:48

replaced the rules.

Mallory Gordon  47:50

Boundaries.

Mickey Gordon  47:51

But where did the boundaries come from?

Mallory Gordon  47:55

Um, for me, personally, they came from the opportunity to expand my sexual experience. And it was my best educated guess without knowing what what laid upon the horizon.

Mickey Gordon  48:07

So communication between us and talking about our image? So here we are, it’s not just from your podcast talking about communication, guys, but I swear to God, it’s a big part of it.

Mallory Gordon  48:17

Yeah, very much. So without communication we.

Mickey Gordon  48:21

Right, so they became boundaries. So let’s talk about rules versus boundaries, by definition.

Mallory Gordon  48:27

Oh, no. All right, Webster, let’s

Mickey Gordon  48:29

go. Okay. Well, do you want to take the first one you want me to?

Mallory Gordon  48:33

Okay, a rule is a condition of engagement, it’s specific to an encounter. A good example of this in kink would be that you have to address your dominant partner as master or mistress for the duration of your session together or sir, madam, whatever the the the name is of the dominant human

Mickey Gordon  48:55

before the encounter, you establish the rules of engagement and off you go, right, I you know, I am master you are fucked away for the person, you know, for whatever I mean, that’s that, that’s a good example of rules of engagement, or whatever you talk about with another couple and say, you know, condoms are a must, you know, everybody has to stay in the same room while sex is occurring, etc. I mean, but again, it’s a little clinical and linear, very linear. A boundary is a guideline for interactions. Boundaries are something we discussed together and as a group with our partners to better understand how each other feel, instead of worrying about a trip wire that might explode if you come across it the wrong way or at the wrong time. Boundaries are about comfort and communication between parties and avoiding the discomfort that might become a result of something that may or may not occur.

Mallory Gordon  49:46

I like that this paints the picture of a gray area. Yeah, that it could pull in or move out or boundaries do move, right because in this moment, as I stand here, this is my boundary and this is how I feel. Yeah. And that could change based on the people, their circumstance, the environment, consent, consent,

Mickey Gordon  50:08

my consent could change, therefore, my boundaries could change. I may say okay with something I’m not okay with next time. And we

Mallory Gordon  50:16

have to understand that in these moments, it’s a moving target, which for us, spoiler alert, checking in helps to mitigate the gray areas of the boundary in question. Right.

Mickey Gordon  50:29

So I’ll give you a great example, guys, something that happened to us. We had a separate play session with some really good friends of ours, we’d never really discussed the expectations for such a thing, because honestly, we’d never really played separate before, and we damn sure hadn’t had a breakage when playing separately. But knowing my own boundaries for it kind of set the course for my behavior and how I would engage both of my counterpart, the male on the other side, both of Mallory and everybody when we reconvene. So the first thing I did was I told Mallory immediately, I walked down, you know, walk back up to her downstairs, and I said, Hey, this happened. We didn’t panic.

Mallory Gordon  51:04

Yeah, it wasn’t like, during play. This is after

Mickey Gordon  51:07

playing after cluded. Yes, after play concluded. I’m like, hey, just seeing a Mallory. This happened. I changed the condom, obviously before continuing play, but not before reaffirming consent that she wanted to continue in light of this happening. That was with my partner.

Mallory Gordon  51:21

So you so you paused and went, Hey, this is the situation. Yeah, I’m going to remove this. But I don’t want to assume that all as well.

Mickey Gordon  51:28

I realized somebody here is gonna break it. Are you good? And she’s like, I’m totally fine. Put another one on. Let’s keep going. And I was like, Cool. A, okay. All right. everybody’s on the same page. Now, the very first opportunity that I had, which was sitting at our kitchen table, I told her partner that this happened in what my resulting actions where he did not even blink. He was like, good, cool. She already told me she told her partner to as soon as they reconvene, which I really love

Mallory Gordon  51:57

that that’s a beautiful circumstance to be in, by the way, you I cannot express the level of appreciation I have for it.

Mickey Gordon  52:05

Well, what I liked about that was that not only did she tell him, but I told him and that reaffirm from both sides that we were all communicating love it, which that really set the really the lines for the boundaries here. So the boundary here wasn’t what we would do in the event of an issue. That wasn’t the boundary that we were living within the boundary was actually that Mallory and I had a boundary that we would communicate any situation that was out of the norm immediately and honestly, no secrets, no surprises, that was our boundary. By exhibiting this behavior, we also showed that our boundaries and expectations for our partners in leading by example. And I think that was a big deal.

Mallory Gordon  52:47

I I think I underappreciated that a little more than I probably should have listening to that statement now. Yeah. There’s something to be said about being able to identify and having the emotional intelligence to go hey, this is it. This is what happened. This is how we addressed it, making that a communal communication. And, and knowing on the other side of the equation that that happened again, or with with them, I couldn’t have painted a more perfect picture of a negative event that had a positive outcome.

Mickey Gordon  53:23

I agree. What are some other examples of boundaries that that we’ve experienced or that you can think of?

Mallory Gordon  53:28

I like that we always reconnect after. I know that’s a boundary. But I feel like it’s it should have a better term something that has an imagery that like a magnet, right? The

Mickey Gordon  53:39

Polje battered home.

Mallory Gordon  53:41

Yeah. I love that. That’s something we consistently do after play, because it’s something I really enjoy love and like just enveloping each other like melody just turned our sex life

Mickey Gordon  53:53

into a Roomba that is not far. Okay, good. Please.

Mallory Gordon  54:01

Why did you turn into a Roomba never get that

Mickey Gordon  54:03

out of my fucking mind. Always a lot of sucking going anyway,

Mallory Gordon  54:06

I love that we reconnect physically, we we have sex. We’ve intimately connected after play time. And I love that that is that is almost half the value in playing for me.

Mickey Gordon  54:21

I think that is the anytime that we engage with other people in any capacity, whether it’s you solo us together, etc. When that does it when and if that doesn’t occur, something’s missing. And I think that’s why it’s a boundary for us that even if you’re gone, potentially, and not that this has happened, but even if you were to be gone overnight, I would still want to make sure that we reconnected as soon as you returned.

Mallory Gordon  54:49

Yeah, it’s almost I would have anxiety over it not being able to reconnect, which is why I’m super hesitant. I’m just gonna throw myself out here for a minute to have play when you’re on a long, let’s say work trip, and I’ll play at the front of the trip, and then waiting days. Like I’ve, I don’t know that I can do that right now.

Mickey Gordon  55:11

Yeah, because the zone boundaries are just a personal limitation.

Mallory Gordon  55:16

I think it’s an emotional limitation for me. Yeah, I think it’s an emotional limitation that like, say, play on a Monday and you’re not coming home to Thursday. I don’t know that, how I would feel about waiting that long to reconnect with you. But I don’t like how, like just the thought of it. And it’s not because I think you’re going to be mad at me or like, this guy’s gonna, you know, interfere with our relationship. At some degree. I just don’t like that much gap.

Mickey Gordon  55:45

Sure. But there are boundaries that come into play with that sort of thing. So let’s say that you were on some sort of a long business trip and you did decide to play just before you I know, you would still limit certain behaviors like sleeping or cuddling or something with that person. And that is a boundary that you set for you. Yeah. And maybe to a certain extent we set for us depending on what the permutations of it are.

Mallory Gordon  56:09

Yeah, no. 100% I have, like i the whole thought of sleeping like overnight, like sleepovers. Yeah, but you just worry because just leave your mouth open. Yeah, well, not a cute sleeper at all. No, not even a little bit. I kinda was pretty funny, though. Look like a corpse and I sound like a Husqvarna.

Mickey Gordon  56:25

That’s pretty awesome. I’ve taken video of it folks. Video of Mallory snoring does exist.

Mallory Gordon  56:30

Oh, wow. Don’t say that. Okay, well, what

Mickey Gordon  56:33

if it does not exist? And I was just kidding. Oh,

Mallory Gordon  56:36

thank God. By the way, I

Mickey Gordon  56:38

sent that video to you. You know, I took it. I know.

Mallory Gordon  56:40

deleted it. Oh, hey,

Mickey Gordon  56:44

I tell you what, here’s another boundary that exists for a lot of people communication boundaries, like checking in. Are you okay? Or check in with me and let me know that you’re okay. Or things like letting me know that you arrived? If you play separately, letting me know that you’re okay, letting me know that I’m on my way home round one is over, and we’re gonna stay a while or like, just let me know. You’re okay. That’s a boundary. That’s not a rule. It’s a boundary like I feel better if you do this. See, rules are hard and fast lines that explode when you step on them. They’re trip wires, they’re landmines. Boundaries are points of communication, for growth.

Mallory Gordon  57:25

I would agree, especially in our relationship. That’s exactly how we define that.

Mickey Gordon  57:30

Yeah, I tell you one of my favorite boundaries, you’re about to talk about it.

Mallory Gordon  57:34

The throne room. Yeah. So something that I love about this is it pays the imagery of exactly what needs to be said about this. So the throne room is essentially that there’s one king and one queen, and only the two can reside there. We can hold court, we can have our gestures, we can have our, our fun, we can have all of these other humans involved. But there’s still only one, there’s only one king, and one queen,

Mickey Gordon  58:03

or only two voices in this room. Yeah. And as much as we love all of you out there, both of you who are listening to this show right now, wherever you may be, wherever you may be. We love you. But our voices in this relationship are the only ones that matter.

Mallory Gordon  58:18

These are the the hate is hate the trump cards. Yeah,

Mickey Gordon  58:21

it’s honestly when Mallory speaks, that’s the only voice I hear. When she says this is not okay. I stopped what ever I’m doing. And go, no matter how I feel no matter what I think no matter what’s going on, the Queen spoke. That’s it?

Mallory Gordon  58:39

Well, and it works in the other way too. Right? When, when I look at you, and there’s something that’s developing, and I want to encourage and support that I think you need that from your queen, per se, in order to feel comfortable.

Mickey Gordon  58:54

Sure, your support is infinitely more important.

Mallory Gordon  58:58

And that’s not your machine. Yeah. And that’s not permission. That is exactly what it is. It’s support.

Mickey Gordon  59:03

Yeah. No, I mean, that’s 100% the case. So do you think rules become less important as we evolve in the lifestyle and boundaries become more important?

Mallory Gordon  59:14

I don’t know that I liked how that’s phrased now that I’m hearing it out loud. I think the the rules we have in that we discussed here remain very important

Mickey Gordon  59:24

at different phases and levels. Sure. Well, I

Mallory Gordon  59:27

mean, consistently, like playing with condoms.

Mickey Gordon  59:29

Oh, that’s a goal. Yeah. I mean, okay, kind of like a commandment more than a rule. Okay.

Mallory Gordon  59:33

But that’s how I see rules as commander. Yeah. As commitment. Okay. We’ve framed down now a boundary that could develop and change shape, right? It’s a little abstract or ambiguous, and which makes checking in critical and very important and it makes it makes me very attentive to how you’re interacting in your nonverbal communication in a given situation. And if I’m not available, or we’re not in a place where I can gauge that and feel that I’m always going to come to you and get the verbal confirmation or denial from you. Well, if now I forgot the

Mickey Gordon  1:00:20

rules become less important, right? And maybe they do what becomes more important. It’s not boundaries. Yeah,

Mallory Gordon  1:00:27

I don’t I don’t know what that important is the right word, because the rules are just second nature at this point. They’re just common.

Mickey Gordon  1:00:35

Let’s pitch this a different way. Okay. The enemy of rules and boundaries, and communication, which is where they come from, is assumption. If I assume you’re going to be okay, I’m going to step on a goddamn landmine. Every other fucker. Yes. Ask me how I know people. I can give you a list of times i Yes. Mallory off. Because I assumed piss me off where you stood. We didn’t talk about it. Yeah. And since there wasn’t this defined list of rules, because we evolved beyond them. Yeah. And you’re saying that necessarily. We didn’t. But we did. Yeah, I grew into a set of boundaries that were that were predicated upon communication. And when I stopped communicating and started assuming

Mallory Gordon  1:01:17

it’s no longer Yeah, it’s no longer a fluid environment. It’s very concrete, black and white. Yeah. So boundaries,

Mickey Gordon  1:01:23

I would argue become more important in rules become less important. Because if your communication improves over time, as you grow in the lifestyle, then you start talking about comfort levels and boundaries and evolutions and less about tripwires and landmines

Mallory Gordon  1:01:39

it is, especially in our dynamic, we could be in a situation where one of us, you know, that meters running a little hotter and a little higher, and there’s opportunity for inexperienced to happen that has nothing to do with me or nothing to do with you. Right, where maybe earlier on it was like all or nothing, right? The high level of communication that checking in the reading the room, the audience, knowing your audience, I guess is a better way of putting it well.

Mickey Gordon  1:02:10

So we started this segment. With me yelling, I do what I want. And I think humanity, that’s our core. That’s our course. That’s what we do. We can go all the way back to let’s get biblical and shit here on casual swinger, right, Adam and Eve. They had one fucking rule. Don’t eat the apple. What did they do?

Mallory Gordon  1:02:35

That motherfucker ate the apple. He

Mickey Gordon  1:02:37

don’t blame him. She handed it to him.

Mallory Gordon  1:02:40

For she was convinced to do so by a snake. She didn’t know.

Mickey Gordon  1:02:46

All right. Well, I’m just saying, if you got one rule, all you want to do is break

Mallory Gordon  1:02:50

it. Yeah, definitely. She was part of Adam. Anyways, she was

Mickey Gordon  1:02:54

she was made fast rip. But the idea here is if you got one rule, all you want to do is break it. But if you have boundaries and communication, then you want to grow together. And I think that’s kind of where we come from with this. And it’s an unfenced. I fence property line. I like that. I don’t know. Do you think that couples should abandon the rules and just make the switch to boundaries and be like, Fuck it

Mallory Gordon  1:03:18

no rule? I would have? No, I would I would agree with you. I think that no, I think having rules gives you a center a subset of information that you can work from inward and outwardly. It gives you a baseline, a foundation. So no, I wouldn’t recommend if someone came to me today and asked me to abandon rules altogether. But I would ask them to consolidate and minimize that. And anything that is a hang up or something that makes you truly uncomfortable just to continue to have conversations around that because it’s probably a fear that’s inherent that lies in or about you, right? That it comes from and the only thing that could potentially resolve it or just bring it to light so that your partner understands a little bit better. Why it’s there? What would you say?

Mickey Gordon  1:04:12

Well, I would say that rules never die, they just evolve and sometimes rules are put to bed or put out a little bit as comfort levels increase. Right? I think that, you know, rules that go away as your fears are allayed by by confidence in communication. And so okay, I don’t need to say that you can’t talk to anybody else anymore. Because I know that if somebody steps out of line, you’re gonna handle it. I feel for the guy that comes to you. And you know, Mickey doesn’t really love you. I could do way better for you.

Mallory Gordon  1:04:48

I’ve had that happen. Yeah,

Mickey Gordon  1:04:49

remember, I was there. And I think it’s hilarious. So I don’t have that fear anymore. So if I take the fear away, I don’t need the rule. What I need is the boundary Now that I have that, you know, that we have, we’ve communicated and go, Hey, I think, you know, we can just leave this as a boundary and you do whatever you think makes sense. And honestly, when that resulting boundary, it gives you freedom, and then all of a sudden, you get to be a little more flirty and a little more fun. And all of a sudden, you don’t feel constrained anymore, and you can live in be the most authentic version of yourself in every interaction we have, whether it’s a couple or a single, and as a person who loves you, and as a compulsive person, that’s exciting for me. To see you do that, without boundaries with strict rules, you never would have been able to do it.

Mallory Gordon  1:05:40

That’s true. That’s very true. Because the boundaries help to insulate us and crease the opportunity for conversation in those environments, and I think you would agree with a statement, potentially, this is off script that

Mickey Gordon  1:05:57

we don’t script this motherfucker. Really,

Mallory Gordon  1:05:59

I enjoy seeing when you make another human being feel really good about themselves. I love when I see that the interactions the two of you have are positive and this could be male or female, by the way. But let’s talk specifically you in another female. The one thing that would make me feel like someone overstepped their stay in our relationship as if in the hierarchy. They feel unilateral with me. Right think like the throne room. One queen, one thing. That is that’s probably my like, I’m going to drop the mic right now on the the entire conversation and let you know where we all stand with this.

Mickey Gordon  1:06:40

And I will say that what we’re talking about right now, if you’re a listener in your poly, this boundary doesn’t make any sense to you. Okay, right, because true poly people have multiple thrones in the throne room, right?

Mallory Gordon  1:06:55

They have no yeah, they have metamorphose, we’re right, everyone’s

Mickey Gordon  1:06:59

equal. And we, in this particular boundary, we’re talking about in our particular boundary, we don’t. Now we’ve talked about Mallory being poly light before, and her poly light says that she’s going to have everything but they don’t live in the throne room. Right? Right. That’s essentially it.

Mallory Gordon  1:07:16

Right. And that, that has a lot to do with being I’ve earned the right to sit on that throne with you. We’ve walked through hell and high waters, some and then some people that we’ve Miami know, we’ve raised children have battled, you know, internal and external demons like we’ve really, really gone on an Indiana Jones crusade.

Mickey Gordon  1:07:38

Yeah, it was all Mallory. By the way, guys, I am a cakewalk. I am awesome. And she sucks. And

Mallory Gordon  1:07:45

that would be my line. I’ve never I’ve never seen it. But that would be my line that another woman walks in and feels like she’s earned that same place. Oh, God, I

Mickey Gordon  1:07:53

feel bad for that girl,

Mallory Gordon  1:07:55

whoever that is. But I do love in the same way. I do love enjoying you making them feel very special in that moment. Because you’re so good at it. You’re so so good at it.

Mickey Gordon  1:08:07

You know, I appreciate you saying that. Because it is something that I love being able to do for other people.

Mallory Gordon  1:08:13

I know you do to a point where you’re like, I didn’t know I was flirting with them. And I’m like, uh,

Mickey Gordon  1:08:17

yeah, I fucked that up all the time. And they don’t mean necessarily to make somebody feel like they have a place they didn’t have. I just love making people feel good about themselves. And it’s, it’s almost my superpower.

Mallory Gordon  1:08:30

And you’re so you are so good at it, you really are.

Mickey Gordon  1:08:34

But when you set that boundary and said, Hey, I need you to be aware that sometimes you make people feel like they have more influence in our relationship than they do. I realized that I’d made a mistake. And I’ve overstepped a boundary of yours. Yeah,

Mallory Gordon  1:08:48

but I didn’t want to chastise you because this was just an honest, like mishap just because you’re such a common purse of human.

Mickey Gordon  1:08:55

Sure. And I honestly think that that kind of brings us to the head on this right. What should people be discussing? Should should they be discussing rules or boundaries in their relationships as swingers and lifestyles?

Mallory Gordon  1:09:11

I mean, the obvious answer is both. Yeah, of course. I mean, the most important thing they can do is discuss them together. You know, and just the two of them, right? Just the two of them together. You know, I it’s not just saying like, I don’t want you kissing, you know, another woman, but say why? You know, tell think about your motivations behind your rules and your boundaries as you’re having these discussions.

Mickey Gordon  1:09:39

Yeah. You know, when I think about that, I think, you know, I think about the things that you do the best and you make me feel when we’re together like I rule the world. Oh, and I know that that’s what you do for your partners when you’re with them. You take whatever, they’re the best thing that they’re doing. And you make them feel like that is the best thing ever. Whether I mean, it could be any number of things, it’s, it could just be the way they look at you. It’s really not always about sex, but you do such a good job of making your partner feel amazing. You’ve done it for me for years. And I’ve realized, I think that you and I do that for other people in different ways I do it before we get to the bedroom. And when you’re going to have sex with a woman 75% of the sex happens before you take your clothes off. And so that’s something that I excel at. Once clothes come off, you are like no human being I’ve ever met. And I have talked about this before. As matter of fact, in the last episode, I said something that a listener called me out on that made me sound cocky. And I promise I didn’t mean it that way. But I just think that us setting boundaries for each other that were comfortable for us, that allowed us to be our most authentic selves, and really express the best parts of our sexuality to our new partners, really opened up the lifestyle for us boundaries, opened up the lifestyle for us. rules allowed us to come into it and still have fear, which was natural,

Mallory Gordon  1:11:10

right? I think they haven’t, we see them in some way synonymous with limitations. Yeah. And fear. So in some cases, there may be in Swinging dynamics, when we’re dating other people, we see them as red flags, but it’s also an opportunity for discourse or dialogue to Yeah, you know, and we’ve had it a few times where we’ve brought it up. And it’s increased conversation more than on the superficial level. And it’s really hard for humans to identify emotions that are tied to the, the physical and visceral reactions we’re having. It’s, I think it’s a great fucking universal joke. Because what we feel initially, it’s so uncomfortable, that we don’t want to dig into what’s the motivation behind it, that we ignore it and just say how we feel in that moment and then move on. We don’t dig into it.

Mickey Gordon  1:12:03

Yeah, you know what that leads to, though? Yeah, arguments? Of course, it does. Yeah. Because now all of a sudden, I become this read this rubber band that snapped, or this match that lit as opposed to the slow burn or the conversation in the communication. I mean, it’s, it’s massive.

Mallory Gordon  1:12:20

But it’s, it’s a tricky game, you know, our, our kids chemical balances and emotional intelligence and exposures and all these other things that come into play could trick us into thinking it’s one thing when it’s another, so it takes time. You have to have patience with it, especially when you’re talking about boundaries. Yeah, because those that’s a moving line. That’s a moving target.

Mickey Gordon  1:12:43

Yeah, boundaries can change right down to tonight, right? I mean, I can think of a great example before we get out of here because we are running a little long. Oh, sorry, guys. No, no, well, I think there used to bloviating but you know, Cam drinking was flew all the way to Iowa to see the corn fed swingers. And we love those guys to pieces. Everyone on the planet knows it. And it’s we don’t have to hide it. They everybody knows there are people we flew all the way up there to see them. And you would think that if you fly 2000 miles to see a couple that you’re probably going to play all weekend, get naked, get stupid, do all kinds of things. And we just, I don’t know, like, I mean, you weren’t right that weekend. And you said I don’t feel good. I went cool. Done. No problem boundaries, new boundary set, that we’re not okay this weekend. And you talk to them about it. And they were so awesome about it. Like they were like, great. We’re just gonna hang out and be friends this week. Yeah,

Mallory Gordon  1:13:40

the only thing I could point out is I’m just off. Yeah. And that was okay. Something’s not okay. And it was chemically not okay. I just had another round of like hormones and like, we were trying to keep in like the the money zone, and something was high and something was a little low. And I was like, I felt like I was going through menopause. I was having night sweats. I was like, I feel the least sexiest I’ve ever felt in my life. And I don’t think I can rally well

Mickey Gordon  1:14:06

and I can tell you guys right now that Mallory sitting across the table from me is looking at me and she doesn’t even feel comfortable with me. No,

Mallory Gordon  1:14:12

I don’t I don’t feel comfortable about this conversation at all because it’s a little private but that’s okay. Well

Mickey Gordon  1:14:17

and we so we didn’t play right and but it was so okay, because we talked about the boundary you and I you said you weren’t okay. And we talked about were their friends and they weren’t just not okay. They were amazing. Oh,

Mallory Gordon  1:14:28

shocker that they’re fucking perfect about the situation and didn’t make me or you feel bad. And you You were great. Like, I mean, I will always carry the fact that maybe that it was a disappointment somewhere deep down.

Mickey Gordon  1:14:44

It didn’t it wasn’t an issue at all. Always go for

Mallory Gordon  1:14:47

like I will file that under another missed opportunity. Not that any opportunity to be in their presence is missed because that in of itself is always worth it 100% of the time. But however a conversation

Mickey Gordon  1:14:58

is important for us to have At the end of this episode, because I think that you were so great to talk about how you felt and be honest, and not push through and set a boundary and go, Hey, I’m, I’m, I don’t think I’m okay.

Mallory Gordon  1:15:12

Well, because it was so new and I’m like, I don’t even know what this is, and I can’t put my finger on it. I just know that there’s some level of discomfort here. And it has to do with me physically and not anyone else. And there

Mickey Gordon  1:15:25

were people that we had a distinct physical and emotional comfort level with and had nothing to do with my attraction to them. My point here is that it was okay. It’s beyond Okay, there are these little embarrassing

Mallory Gordon  1:15:36

they did that’s on them. That is me. I was like, if you that I only wanted like, you know, those really, really long turtleneck sweaters. I wanted one so badly. So just I can unroll it over my shoulder.

Mickey Gordon  1:15:49

A little bit like a little fucking on uncut penis. Yes, like? Yes,

Mallory Gordon  1:15:54

exactly. And then I can come up to the birth canal to make you know, my little peanut gallery statement and then close it back up.

Mickey Gordon  1:16:00

No, look, I didn’t mean to call you out at this end of this episode. But I really

Mallory Gordon  1:16:04

thanks for that, but I’ll roll with it. Well,

Mickey Gordon  1:16:07

I honestly think people need to hear it. They need to know that just because you did doesn’t mean you’re going to. And that’s potentially a boundary that can evolve in the moment.

Mallory Gordon  1:16:16

Yeah, it’s always a moving target. I mean, there’s so many other influences in life in this world and even internally, that that come to fruition. You just you have to be on it starts with being honest with yourself.

Mickey Gordon  1:16:28

Yeah. Well, so I just want to call one more thing out. Oh, super

Mallory Gordon  1:16:31

your God. Do we have to talk about my mother now? No, no,

Mickey Gordon  1:16:35

no, definitely not talking about your mother. All right. I will not have sex tonight. I’ll never get hard for like the next five days. 10 days?

Mallory Gordon  1:16:43

Yeah, 10 days, 10 days,

Mickey Gordon  1:16:45

we’re going back to Iowa. Redemption is fine. Here’s what’s gonna happen because I talked about it during the episode, I’m going to have an issue and not be able to perform

Mallory Gordon  1:16:55

I get my period

Mickey Gordon  1:17:00

we’re getting this shit up on the episode. And now we’re not going to be gonna be able to lizard. It’ll snow 12 feet, and we will not be able to perform and we’re gonna sit there and stare at each other and play like board games or something. Now we’re going to see whiskey Myers we’re gonna have a great time with people that we love very much. That’s what’s happened. Yes, that’s the boundary. I’m going to look like Ralph his little brother. Ladies and gentlemen, this has been an episode on rules versus boundaries. This has been very candid. This has been very unscripted. And Mallory is not happy with me. No, not

Mallory Gordon  1:17:27

really. Telling you guys I lifted trouble stop lifting my skirt, sir.

Mickey Gordon  1:17:32

Yeah, well, I think this was really valuable. And I hope that you guys got something out of this Mallory. You want to let her know where to find us on this long ass. Just

Mallory Gordon  1:17:40

find us six feet under but me I’ll still be around as casual swinger. You can find me anywhere. That’s casual. swinger.com feel free to shoot us a note at podcast at kosher swinger.com If you have a question, comments, whatever, we love it. We’re also on social media. That’s Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and Twitter. Imagine that one, Twitter. I know it isn’t Twitter. These are SEO which we just talked about earlier. So we’ll see what happens with that. And we’re on the dating sites. You can find us on W eight nation SDC SLS and Cassidy

Mickey Gordon  1:18:13

That’s all of it, folks. We did have a toy box ready for you. But we talked a while so we’re come back with that some other time. Thank you so much for listening to rules versus boundary. And don’t forget it’s the Christmas season. Make sure to do some Christmas shopping on casual toys from your favorite Whoa.

Mallory Gordon  1:18:27

Oh, be kind to all your home.

Mickey Gordon  1:18:31

Love rose. Thanks for listening and we’ll see you next time you’ve been listening to Casual Swinger!