Mallory Gordon 00:08
You’re listening to the casual swinger podcast. As your hosts, we need to warn you that the material you’re about to hear may be sexual or explicit in nature. This podcast is intended for an adult audience. Now we don’t expect you to act like adults. What’s the fun in that?
Mickey Gordon 00:22
We’re a married couple living in Florida with over 13 years of experience in the lifestyle and we take almost nothing seriously. Casual swingers a variety show meaning we’ll cover everything from music to events, travel, and even the occasional hilarious screw up. Our show was about entertainment. We’re not licensed professionals had anything and our stories, commentary and guidance should not be confused with the opinions of a licensed professional.
Mallory Gordon 00:46
Now that you know, let’s take those pants off and get comfy
Mickey Gordon 00:56
Hello there everybody. Welcome back for another episode of casual swagger. My name is Miki and I’m Mallory. And we are recording from the road.
Mallory Gordon 01:07
We are we’re in a cabin in the woods.
Mickey Gordon 01:09
We are literally in a cabin in the woods. We’re back. We’re on time and penis.
Mallory Gordon 01:14
Yeah, we’re just making sure everyone’s paying attention. Yeah, if you say penis, everybody will look I promise. Yes. Penis penis shattered in the grocery store.
Mickey Gordon 01:21
You know what I think everyone was especially in this small town. Yeah, it was like what the hell? But good.
Mallory Gordon 01:26
That was hilarious, by the way. So we get to town. We hadn’t been in town like an hour. And we see like, eight people. It gets stopped. We got stopped in the road for crying out loud.
Mickey Gordon 01:35
Yeah, we literally got stopped walking through small town USA literally.
Mallory Gordon 01:38
And it’s just a reminder, as wonderful as these humans are. There’s no way casual
Mickey Gordon 01:42
swinger would have ever happened up here. No, there’s no fucking way we would have been we would have been hung out to dry if we ever tried to
Mallory Gordon 01:49
think, oh, no, no way. Could they wrap their minds around it lesson?
Mickey Gordon 01:53
Well, I mean, very sweet people. But yeah, I’m not gonna do that.
Mallory Gordon 01:57
So what’s this episode about? I’m I’m fascinated with this subject matter.
Mickey Gordon 02:01
You know, I don’t think this was an episode we ever intended to do.
Mallory Gordon 02:05
No, absolutely not. But like, I’m hot on it. Yeah, well,
Mickey Gordon 02:09
especially once you and I talked about it. So we had the long drive from Orlando to the part of Virginia that we’re in. And it was really, it just kind of came up in conversation. And I think we both were like, What the fuck like this is not okay. And we started to get more and more into the conversation. So I guess so. Let’s just get over this episode is called slap happy. Do you live under a rock? Did you forget everything? Social media, internet television in the last month? If that’s the case, fucking good for you. I missed it.
Mallory Gordon 02:36
Yeah, totally missed it. It’s kind of the slap that was heard around the world, right? Will Smith slap the ever loving shit out of Chris Rock? And it was live in the air right in front of this huge crowd of pretentious, overinflated egos of Hollywood?
Mickey Gordon 02:51
Yeah, right. Those fucking tassels. And that’s not what we’re going to talk about. By the way, we’re not going to get the slap. We’re not going to get in and out at your woody.
Mallory Gordon 02:58
We’re not going to debate whether or not we teach our children you know, use your words and don’t hit people. People. Yeah, that is the biggest lie ever told to us as children? I think I think
Mickey Gordon 03:07
- Yeah. Right.
Mallory Gordon 03:09
Yeah. The quicksand right?
Mickey Gordon 03:10
That’s right. We’ll get to that in a second. But we are gonna get to it. We’re gonna talk about it. We’re not really going to talk about him smacking the dog shadow Chris Rock. But we will get into that later. But before we begin, I want to kind of touch on our last couple of episodes.
Mallory Gordon 03:24
I think this is good. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 03:25
I it’s kind of important. So I don’t even know where to begin thanking everybody for their support, love and friendship after the couple of raw episodes we did over the last couple of weeks. But there are two folks in particular, that kind of knocked me back on my heels.
Mallory Gordon 03:39
Are you? I think that’s an us? Well, definitely. Yeah.
Mickey Gordon 03:43
I mean, I had to come and read them to you. I’d be like Mallory, Mallory, Mallory. Because you’re busy a lot.
Mallory Gordon 03:49
Yeah. And I mean, not that I didn’t read them. But when you’re super excited, it’s just that part of sharing, like, hey, this touched me. So we’re gonna do this. And I could be in the shower, and you’re standing there reciting it to me, because you’re just so excited about it.
Mickey Gordon 04:04
Well, I love hearing that the things that we go through, they go through, right, it’s not just us, we’re not alone. And I know we’re not alone. I feel it, I get it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel alone sometimes. And I know we all do. So I just want to say great expectations. And we have a secret. You guys knew you are one of us in the great white north and one of us right down the road from us. And us, Florida,
Mallory Gordon 04:26
us with your email very much that was it’s touching, and really
Mickey Gordon 04:30
was and we’ll sit down and write a proper response because you guys deserve much more than a shout out on a podcast. But we want you guys to know that we see you and we will never take that kind of kindness for granted. Thank you so much. So
Mallory Gordon 04:43
so much and also appreciate the fashion tips a you would
Mickey Gordon 04:47
whenever I’m telling you what elbow pads are coming back, bitches That’s what I heard. That’s right, what else we got going on?
Mallory Gordon 04:56
Well, let’s talk about PCAP I’m shopping like a crazy person. For this event, that’s different how Yeah, because it is different. Oh,
Mickey Gordon 05:06
so yeah, you do lots of shopping. Yeah, well,
Mallory Gordon 05:08
not like that.
Mickey Gordon 05:09
We got a thank you card from Jeff Bezos last year.
Mallory Gordon 05:12
Okay. All right. Well anyways, moving on them don’t wanna get in trouble now. Don’t look at the credit card statement. Now it wouldn’t be an episode of casual striker without talking about this amazing time that we’re about to have right first weekend in June. Oh my god. So ask yourself something if you haven’t booked this weekend. Why? Why not? What’s stopping you? There’s gonna be amazing parties. Pool time, pool parties, play rooms, wonderful venue that will fucking blow your minds. All of this is waiting in Palm Springs.
Mickey Gordon 05:43
Yeah, that’s a fact. You know, I saw and I to be honest, I saw the playrooms in Dallas in Miami when they weren’t being used. And I was like, wow, I was a playroom kind of guy I’d be holding on. But you know,
Mallory Gordon 05:56
again, no, she knocks it out of the fucking Park. Yeah, with the playrooms with everything. Yeah, it’s just absolutely crazy. But you know, we’re gonna be there obviously. And there’s other folks there. Like who,
Mickey Gordon 06:10
like you, let’s see average swingers swinger University, monogamous marriage.
Mallory Gordon 06:15
Yeah, to hot wives. Bad hoppers fucking excited to meet those guys. Life has spice for our play black and kinky. And of course,
Mickey Gordon 06:22
wonderla. Kate herself and Darrell his bald ass is gonna join us out there.
Mallory Gordon 06:27
Yeah, so come on, guys. Book your trip. come spend the weekend laughing, dancing, partying and get naked with us. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 06:33
we really kind of want you guys to come party with us. Because if we’re there all by herself, then we’re gonna have to get drunk with Jay again. That’s not so bad. Right? Okay, it’s a lot of boiler. I’m gonna get drunk with Jay pretty much no matter what. It’s guaranteed. Yeah, that guy and I don’t we just have to. Yeah, it’s a moral imperative. All right. So, name of the movie, folks. I’ll send you a picture of Mallory’s boobs.
Mallory Gordon 06:56
You don’t get to offer my boobs. That’s my thing.
Mickey Gordon 06:59
Alright, I’ll send you a picture of my boobs.
Mallory Gordon 07:03
Man, I thought you were gonna go with balls. And I’m like, Yes, that’s a great idea.
Mickey Gordon 07:07
I’ll pay nipples on my balls.
Mallory Gordon 07:09
Because they’re all like clean and like aerodynamic. Right?
Mickey Gordon 07:11
They are. If you do a really
Mallory Gordon 07:13
good job of the upkeep by the way I have to do
Mickey Gordon 07:15
here. I’m slipstreaming folks. Oh, hell yeah. erode.
Mallory Gordon 07:20
So anyways, we’re in Virginia.
Mickey Gordon 07:22
We are it’s cold as fuck,
Mallory Gordon 07:23
cow. I thought it was fucking spring. I forgot how fucking cold it still is. This time of year.
Mickey Gordon 07:29
Our definition of spring has changed since we lived in Florida. If so, like it’s 83 at
Mallory Gordon 07:35
the point where it’s like pre pollen. So like nothing’s fucking in my nose, which is great, because my allergies appear awful. However, it’s rainy. And I think the high has been maybe 50 in the 50s Yeah, it’s great. And as a native Floridian and living back there for five years now, I am not acclimated to this kind of weather now. However, the cabin is nice.
Mickey Gordon 07:56
I’ve done a lot of bitching since we got here and when did it actually take a couple of outdoor lingerie picks for 30 days of laundry
Mallory Gordon 08:01
just a couple of beers made it was just so fucking good glad that
Mickey Gordon 08:05
the people that are that own this fucking Airbnb are spotting.
Mallory Gordon 08:09
Oh my god, that was so weird. So we kind of message that a bunch of cars. They saw a bunch of cars coming and going and I’m like, these motherfuckers are watching.
Mickey Gordon 08:17
They see nothing of the near naked women in laundry on their porch.
Mallory Gordon 08:21
I didn’t even notice the cameras any fucking thinking about amateur hour over here. So they they seen it all.
Mickey Gordon 08:27
Whatever he is spankin his clown. Sure watching that video. He probably put it on loop.
Mallory Gordon 08:31
Yeah, he’s just he’s talking to Jesus about it. Yeah, definitely. Definitely talking to Jesus about it. Because also this house is very, very Christian.
Mickey Gordon 08:40
There’s a lot of crosses. A lot
Mallory Gordon 08:42
of books about God.
Mickey Gordon 08:43
I have done everything I can do let Mallory talk to God every night since we got here. I’ve got to the point
Mallory Gordon 08:49
where I’m turning everything like up against the wall like don’t look Jesus, it’s fine. Don’t watch. Sorry, Jesus, if you didn’t see doesn’t count.
Mickey Gordon 08:57
I’m married to her. I can fuck the crap out of it. It’s fun. Anyway, let’s record a springer podcast in this house of God.
Mallory Gordon 09:02
So we have taken a lot of pictures in the 30s Laundry is just banging right out of the gate.
Mickey Gordon 09:09
Oh my god, all of these women and the guys like women. Oh my god.
Mallory Gordon 09:12
Yes. And the outpouring of positivity and support for each other. Like you can’t fake that shit
Mickey Gordon 09:18
that you can’t and I’m really proud of my brethren. Right? I think these guys are doing a great job. But fellas, I got news for you. I’m still not gonna fucking do it. I will literally I will look like you can’t have biscuits if you put me in a G string so I can happen. I’m still trying. Nothing’s gonna happen, folks. But I check out all the other guys and give them some positive. So
Mallory Gordon 09:34
where can people find these? This 30 days as long as you’re a movement that’s happening in the month of April. That’s
Mickey Gordon 09:39
right. We’re all having a movement together. Now so 30 is laundry is happening primarily on Twitter. It is a body positivity event guys. It’s really not about showing everybody how amazing your photography schools are around the meeting. You know you look in a bikini or in lingerie or an underwear or in bras or whatever. It’s really just about celebrating each other and taking pictures and Having some fun and that’s really what we’ve tried to do. We’ve taken like 5000 pictures in the last couple of days because we’re posting stuff that you guys can find on casual toys.com
Mallory Gordon 10:09
You know, I’ve noticed the more pictures we take the more confident I feel. Really? Yes. 100%
Mickey Gordon 10:14
like editing your picture. So I was part as a rock editing your pictures yesterday,
Mallory Gordon 10:18
that was actually a really big turn on. So, Jonas points. Yes. Oh,
Mickey Gordon 10:23
I couldn’t help it. I was You were so fucking beautiful. And I was sitting there looking at these photos of you and, and putting them in our photo style, which I know I catch a little bit of shit for from time to time, but I’m okay with that. I know why we do it. I know that we’re going to continue to do it regardless of whether you guys bitch about it. So you might as well stop. But at the same time, 30 days of laundry is just the coolest thing. Right? And by the way, it’s also in the PCAP app that we call Huva. It’s also in we got to things community, they’re doing their own little celebration of 30 days of laundry, so show off that slower, get creative. Yeah, everybody can have some fun and you can find a lot of outfits on casual toys.com Guys, for women and men. We have almost 20,000 lines of wear including dresses rompers, you know, leisure wear and then sexy things. So there’s so many things and there’s also Diem nightwear for events.
Mallory Gordon 11:16
Yep, I mean a plethora of stuff and like obviously we have sexy paintings for the guys but we also have like you said themed outfits. You know me get a little creative. Yeah, like costume wear.
Mickey Gordon 11:26
So many so many cool things. But 30 days a laundry is the brainchild of someone that is friends with Kate from wanderlust swingers. And she kind of brought that across the pond and has really championed this. I want to give Kate a shout out and just say that, you know, we love your girl and we respect what you’ve done here. Amen.
Mallory Gordon 11:44
Hear hear it. This is really cool. Yeah. So what are we doing this Saturday? Well,
Mickey Gordon 11:49
y’all hear this? It will have happened already. But what had happened was or is going to happen was I don’t even know how to say is Yeah, right is we’re really looking forward to telling you guys how great this was. We’re going to taboo for their 18th anniversary this Saturday from Virginia. And here’s the best part. I just said I have to be in California on Monday.
Mallory Gordon 12:09
You’re you’re gonna have to pull out that old rock star right. Oh, because you’re we’re partying all Saturday night? Yeah. We’re getting up Sunday morning early to drive 14 hours home. Yes. So that you can get up Monday morning and get on a plane to California.
Mickey Gordon 12:25
I’m gonna be a fucking zombie. Okay, so
Mallory Gordon 12:29
Mallory is going to be driving folks while encouraging Mickey to take a nap at some point. But I’m super excited to go to taboo it’s been many many years love Vicki love her crew. They’re so excited. We’re gonna get to see Locke and Tris Yes, lack
Mickey Gordon 12:43
interest or joining us with some of their friends as it’s live in the sweet life podcast. If you guys have not checked out their show on Sunday nights. I absolutely loved they do their shit live. Right? They don’t sit down and do what I’m gonna tell you right now. If I fuck up, I’m going to edit it. You guys will not hear it. If right now if Mallory fucks up I keep it in because that’s funny.
Mallory Gordon 12:59
Yeah, yeah. No, that’s great. I just hear your Dickens check itself again.
Mickey Gordon 13:03
Oh, God, if only but here’s the thing, like interests do such a good job of their live show. Make sure you go check them out. Give them some love. We’re gonna give them all kinds of love. On Saturday night at Tebu in Catonsville, Maryland, that is t a b, you life.com If you’re ever passing through the area, and you want to check out a great club, with a great atmosphere, great play rooms and an owner that gives a shit. And when we’re talking, we’re talking about an owner that gives a shit so much that she kept her employees during COVID at her own peril as matter of fact, I don’t think it’s actually not my story to tell. But I’m just gonna say those employees were taken care of. And I’m really proud to say that we like taboo and we like Vicki, I think they’re great.
Mallory Gordon 13:43
Amen to that. Anything else was talking about before we move on to like the meat of the episode. Well,
Mickey Gordon 13:50
I do think that we should definitely cover something that happened yesterday.
Mallory Gordon 13:53
Yeah, this was like breakfast conversation for us.
Mickey Gordon 13:56
What the fuck is wrong with us? Oh, I
Mallory Gordon 13:57
love it. We were talking about poo. Yeah, no, which is dinner conversation. That’s
Mickey Gordon 14:01
dinner conversation but And so anyway, check this out. So last week, this guy on a flight from Washington State to Phoenix was arrested for masturbating during the flight. Not once, not twice, but four fucking times.
Mallory Gordon 14:16
What the fuck? Personally over first of all, like, yeah, I understand that. But the fact that he’s multi-orgasmic Like, is it wrong? That’s that’s the first thing.
Mickey Gordon 14:28
Really, you’re all proud of this guy. I’m over here. This is why we need better entertainment on planes curious,
Mallory Gordon 14:33
I wasn’t necessarily turned on. I was curious. Curious. Okay, so four times he got off in three
Mickey Gordon 14:42
times he whacked okay. Now according to the Huffington Post, he asked the woman next to him if she minded if she rescind or if she minded if he masturbated. Her response was, does it really matter? She proceeded to film and take photos of his mild high self pleasure extravaganza on her phone And as he furiously pounded his manhood
Mallory Gordon 15:02
Now was this for posterity was she into it like I need more context
Mickey Gordon 15:06
I see like we need to have her on the show I like ma’am I’d like you to join us in casual swinger and describe the masturbation please
Mallory Gordon 15:12
also Yes Can you confirm the climax to all four times
Mickey Gordon 15:16
actually she can confirm it at least once. Allegedly he did reach orgasm machine informed and authorities that she witnessed him licking a white substance from his fingers
Mallory Gordon 15:29
now No Okay, so now he’s just getting fancy. And like trying to
Mickey Gordon 15:33
brag a little bit take self service to a new level. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 15:36
I mean, but like that’s like He’s showing off for her now. Well, yeah,
Mickey Gordon 15:41
he’s like, Hey, look what I did. I just made a mess on my end and I’m gonna clean it
Mallory Gordon 15:44
- He’s like, Alright, I’m gonna be in a porn I’m gonna be in a porn
Mickey Gordon 15:47
so stated to authorities that he thought his behavior was kind of kinky. And they responded by charging him with lewd indecent or obscene acts on an aircraft which apparently as they now understand, is a felony. Just when I thought the Patriot Act prevent hijackings
Mallory Gordon 16:07
what where’s that fucking button oh right here need to learn the fucking buttons? Because if you’re gonna press them anyway.
Mickey Gordon 16:17
You might as well get in on the action right yeah, so I’m
Mallory Gordon 16:20
not gonna lie I’m glad he got his hand smacked got spanked spanking because let’s be honest, that’s just not you know good behavior come on guys like but is this something that he just thought was kinky? Maybe he got dared to do this like what?
Mickey Gordon 16:37
I don’t know that there’s anything worth what’s coming down and and first of all, he’s banned for life from Southwest which right but I’m shocked by that. They threatened me with a ban over a fucking mask because they didn’t like what it said. Yeah, so I’m really not that worried about that. But I do think it’s interesting. I mean, who gets on a plane and decides this seems like a good time to polish the old handle, you
Mallory Gordon 16:56
know, I’m a stressed masturbator. And you know that about me? It’s true. If I’m having a bad day at work, and I can find five minutes, 15 minutes, whatever. You’re rubbing up. I am totally rubbing one out because that is my my, something I use to cope with stress. I like on an airplane.
Mickey Gordon 17:11
Do you think it was fear of flying? He’s just like, wow,
Mallory Gordon 17:14
I mean, it seems a little like he was audacious. Oh, yeah.
Mickey Gordon 17:17
Very, I mean, he took his pants down to do and then asked a woman next to him. Hey, do you mind if I do this? And she’s like, What? Like, I can stop you now.
Mallory Gordon 17:26
Just like trying to flip it through the zipper. Gotta keep it on the download. And who will let him do this four times? Because like, you can’t do shit on a plane without getting noticed. Like? Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 17:40
so how since when does it cramped living space flat soda and bad pretzels equal wild sexual chemistry with oneself? Have no idea? I mean, come the fuck on. Go shine your pork sword in the bathroom. Fucking maybe. I don’t know. Well, and I guess the best part for me is he finished the fourth time and went to sleep. And that’s when she decided to let a flight attendant know what had transpired. She left she watched this whole thing. Take pictures of the whole thing. And then it’s like, by the way, this guy keeps flogging the bishop. I would really like to sit elsewhere. So the receipt the woman leave them there in his mess. And don’t do anything until they land. He thinks he’s gotten off by the way, literally and figuratively. And no, then they arrest him when he lands flogging the dolphin because she had all these photographs of him.
Mallory Gordon 18:30
Yeah, I don’t blame them for waiting to you know the land cause because you’re stuck on this fucking tin can?
Mickey Gordon 18:36
Well, it’s not like you can unpunched the clown either. Right? Do it it’s
Mallory Gordon 18:39
probably not worthy of like an emergency landing because think of all the fucking drama that causes the emergency.
Mickey Gordon 18:45
We just got having chronic masturbator we need to get on the ground now. Flight 939 to tower we’ve got a chronic masturbator we’re going to need an emergency landing. Give us a new runway immediately. This guy will not stop touching his cock.
Mallory Gordon 19:00
Oh, hey, you know what? I think you just discovered another career path for you’ve ever needed.
Mickey Gordon 19:06
Yeah, yeah. Air Traffic Controller. Yes. Oh, please. That would be so great. Yeah, no, no. All right.
Mallory Gordon 19:13
person out there was semaphores but it will turn into a rave really quickly.
Mickey Gordon 19:19
Like you’re close to flames are flying all over the fucking place. Yep, that’ll be awesome. Well, I do want to point out though, you know what he did could easily be and should be construed as sexual assault. 100% of his seatmate did not have to observe His act of violence on his unsuspecting penis. Not cool, but as funny as fuck.
Mallory Gordon 19:38
Yeah, I’m not gonna lie. I laughed a lot. Yeah, that’s pretty good. You’re correct.
Mickey Gordon 19:42
All right on with the show. We come back in a couple of minutes. We’re going to talk about what happened after Big Willie style decided to slap the snot out of Chris Rock. But before we do Mallory, you want to do the things
Mallory Gordon 19:51
I’ll tell you the things. So we are casual swinger everywhere. You can find this at casual swinger.com If you want to shoot us a message Please send it to podcasts at casuals mentor.com. We are also on social media. That’s Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram. If you want to check us out on the dating sites, we’re on publication Cassidy SLS. mstc.
Mickey Gordon 20:13
There it is. I’m going to check you out later. You promised. Alright, so we’ll be right back after this. You’ve been listening to casual Swinging.
Mallory Gordon 20:38
And we’re back. Casual swinger. And I’m Mallory.
Mickey Gordon 20:43
This is not average swingers. It can be Jay. Yeah. You know, pumped me up.
Mallory Gordon 20:48
Hey, we just talked about imposter syndrome wouldn’t have be fucking hilarious. If we had to do each other shows and impersonate each other. We should do that. All right. I’m throwing that fucking on the table now.
Mickey Gordon 20:58
All right. Okay, who’s going to accept the challenge?
21:01
There’s gonna be casual. Angie, let’s go. All right,
Mickey Gordon 21:04
we’re gonna do we’re gonna get drunk as fuck and recorded. Nope.
Mallory Gordon 21:07
I can do this. I can do this.
Mickey Gordon 21:10
That’s gonna be awesome. All right, go ahead. What are we doing?
Mallory Gordon 21:12
So we’re talking about? Well, not the slap itself. So I need the listeners. I’m sure everyone on social media and in the news has this has been sold and oversold about the context of the actual slap and the delivery. And this is not what we’re talking about here. We’re not going to debate or discuss that part. It’s actually the conversations that happens after that. And what we saw inside our circle.
Mickey Gordon 21:39
Yeah, it’s what it became, I think is really what we want to talk about. Because though not necessarily, like you said in the lead in Yes, we’ll smack Chris Rock like he was smacking that ass. Because that’s exactly what he did. Yeah, but I think we’re gonna we’re not even gonna dig into why he hit a note or whether he should have hit him. Nope. So rest easy.
Mallory Gordon 21:56
Nope. That’s not what we’re talking about.
Mickey Gordon 21:59
Yep, something else. Everyone else for that matter? Yeah.
Mallory Gordon 22:03
We want to talk about everyone else. Here. Am I correct? Yeah. The what happened after so I think it started when the night of in the morning after all these memes started flying around on social media that Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. And it happened faster than his hand flew through the air. Yeah. It was immediate, like people are fucking ruthless dude. It’s pretty quick. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 22:31
take that shit. Yeah, but, but they did. I mean, like, I can’t believe how fucking fast the memes came together. And some of them were funny, right? They were like, you know, like, one little slap and you know, you’re going back to Bel Air or whatever it is. I don’t know. Remember all you know,
Mallory Gordon 22:46
okay, fine. I get it. It’s, it’s a people deal with like, uncomfortable situations with humor. That’s why when we’re children, sometimes when we’re on the verge of getting in trouble or getting in trouble, we laugh. It’s a nervous behavior. So part of me kind of understands, like how we cope with it. But the other part of me is like, wow, we’re kind of assholes.
Mickey Gordon 23:07
Kind of humor makes some sense, right? Something happens. It’s, I don’t know. I mean, I’m sure there were some people out there that were traumatized by it in some form or fashion. Maybe people that had been victims of domestic abuse are almost a disputes. It’s abuse this dispute. But you know, I think there are people that were triggered by it. But my problem with it, these the the memes that I saw that really got me were the ones that really focused on Will and Jada sex life. Yeah, that was what does that have to do with it? Oh,
Mallory Gordon 23:38
yeah. And there’s hundreds of them that just came across our feeds like our vanilla feeds. Mind you, this is not a casual Swinging. This is like Oh, Facebook, Mickey Mallory in real life.
Mickey Gordon 23:49
Yeah, right. And, um, I mean, I’m in a bunch of meme groups. So I kind of expect to see some
Mallory Gordon 23:53
unseen I am not, I am not like even like some like extended family members were contributing to this in like, the fact that they were even entertaining conversations around e&m And doing it in negative light. Here, I’m gonna go ahead and just lift my skirt and give you guys a little preview of what we’re talking about, like what’s under their eye. If fucked up my day,
Mickey Gordon 24:15
mine today, I got mad actually. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 24:17
I got mad. I found myself extremely defensive of the conversations that they were making fun and light of a situation that one is very biased in its observational context from them. Yeah. And to. I’m sorry, you don’t understand this. So it’s a point of humor to you. Well,
Mickey Gordon 24:39
I think it was worse than a point of humor. I think they were basically saying and I’m gonna kind of get to this here in a little bit after we talked about a couple of these memes, but they’re basically saying he’s not allowed to defend her. Because he allows her to have sex with someone that’s not him.
Mallory Gordon 24:54
Oh, I’m, I blew right past that. I was like, Okay, let’s make innocent Maybe they are in ethically non monogamous. Maybe they have an open marriage. So we don’t actually know first of all, no, we don’t know it’s not our fucking business. And then she’s effectively slut shamed and he’s emasculated because of it.
Mickey Gordon 25:13
Yeah. Together. That’s usually usually one or the other, but not both. Yeah. So the first meme that I saw that really kind of got under my skin was a picture. And they put Will Smith’s face on it. And it’s a guy walking through the door. He says, Honey, did you see my video defending he was going viral? And it was supposed to be going viral. But what you see is a silhouette in the background of some guy balls deep and a girl in a doggy style position. Yep. So they’re trying to say, hey, Will’s coming in all proud of himself saying Hey, honey, could Did you see where I defended you and it’s going viral. And she’s busy fucking some other guy. So it’s basically positioning him as some sort of a humiliated and I’m going to say this not in the term cuckold as we identify it, but as society and porn identifies it as some sort of, you know, humiliated cook. And it’s
Mallory Gordon 26:01
not saying that’s that that’s not a sub, you know,
Mickey Gordon 26:05
which is fine. If that’s
Mallory Gordon 26:07
our part of cooking. They always want to go to the fucking worse. And maybe that’s just human nature in a nutshell, just makes me sad. I will be on Saturday hissed. Yeah. So there’s another one I saw on it’s one of those like, it kind of looks like a graphic novel, where there’s a bunch of different pictures put together. Samples. Yeah, like a panel. Thank you. Um, and it starts with Chris Rock, and it says, Jada gi Jane, and he’s playing out in the audience, you can flash it to will laughing and says, that’s hilarious rate. And then it flashes to Jada. And it says, No, it’s not. And you can see that’s where her face started to degrade, right? And she looks over at will. And then the next slide says, You want me to cheat again. And that’s when it’s pictured as he’s inspired to go up and sage hit Chris Rock. And he looks back at his wife and goes, Did I do that? Right, Jada? Please don’t leave me. Like again, emasculation.
Mickey Gordon 26:58
Right? As if somehow he had no say in what was happening. He had no part in it. And again, we don’t know, no one fucking knows they’ve never done an interview with anybody that says, This is our lifestyle. And we’re happy this way. So fuck off. And you know what they shouldn’t have to it’s not my business. It’s not your business, how they actually live is not our business unless they make it so. And yeah, she’s got pictures. And there’s stories about her having relationships with other guys. And I have my own thoughts about that, that we’ll get to in a minute. But that’s all we know. We don’t know what the context is. We don’t know whether this is something that’s a turn on for them. You know, there’s a joke here. And this is actually one that I saw a version of from someone that’s a genuine friend of mine. Yeah. And a long time friend of mine. We’ll get to this in a minute because we are going to cover this. But what’s the difference between another man’s dick and another man’s joke? Jada can take one but not the other. Really? What the fuck? What does one have to do with the other? And what does one what and what universe? Let me rephrase this a different way. I pity the human being that thinks that they can put you down because we’re ethically non monogamous. So they can say anything they want, because you’re undeserving of my defense, they’re going to find out very quickly. That is not the case.
Mallory Gordon 28:20
Here’s the here’s the real twist. I’ll get to them first.
Mickey Gordon 28:26
Yeah, I feel worse for them for you than I do for me. Like, oh, you poor bastard,
Mallory Gordon 28:30
which is effectively kind of what happened with our friend. I don’t know, anyway. Well,
Mickey Gordon 28:35
you know, actually, you were really nice about it. We’ll talk about that in a minute. But you know, there’s a couple more memes here that I want you I really want you guys to get the context of this because what does their ethical or unethical non monogamy he doesn’t matter which one it is have to do with him being emotionally driven to defend his wife right.
Mallory Gordon 28:52
And on the other side, right or wrong, however you you perceive or what your opinion is on the situation, why did they immediately go to their sexual relationship in their their marriage dynamic? They like fucking society attacked that and made light of it and made it a mockery. Because somehow they saw a parallel. Yeah, that was hilarious. Really. It has nothing to do with each other.
Mickey Gordon 29:23
Yeah, it is. We get to the end here. There are kind of two things about this that bother Yeah.
Mallory Gordon 29:27
Okay, two big ones will hone in on just the two because we only have like a certain amount of
Mickey Gordon 29:32
time, right? We’re only here for an hour, folks. So I’ll talk about those. Yeah, but what’s the next Yeah, so
Mallory Gordon 29:36
the next one and this is probably one of the most common ones we’ve seen. And it’s going to potentially be the tagline for this whole event. So it’s just it’s two frames, and it’s Will Smith in the audience. And you can see him say keep my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth. And then the next one is Chris Rock and the title is keep your wife’s mouth off them fucking dicks. Like at I’m sorry, what are we 10?
Mickey Gordon 30:03
What are we dead? What? Again? What is one?
Mallory Gordon 30:05
Why the I don’t even I? I do have a sense of humor that kind of reflects a 12 year old boy times, like fart and poop jokes. Yeah.
Mickey Gordon 30:16
Haha sir. Literally think they’re funny yeah,
Mallory Gordon 30:19
I get it. But that that was just fucking poor taste and degrading to women
Mickey Gordon 30:25
beyond so beyond and you know I don’t know that anybody that makes memes cares because it’s not like they signed their name to them, they just put them out there in the ether and let hope they go viral and hope that everybody shares them and has a good laugh at somebody else
Mallory Gordon 30:36
it is it’s one of those things like haha, please like me? Yeah, all right. All right funny for finding this meme
Mickey Gordon 30:42
isn’t so great when I’ve seen my meme 1000 times. Yeah, right. Yeah, you know, there’s another one in it’s a picture of Will Smith smiling, open mouth very happy. Will Smith when people sleep with his wife, and then a very stern alpha male position. You know, Will Smith when people joke about his wife? No, they have nothing to do with each other. And again, what we’re doing is we’re using their ethical non monogamy actually understand it? They’re non monogamy not even ethical. Just know what I mean, as a reason why all the it’s just it’s a place to bring them down to a low enough level. We didn’t humanize them, we dehumanize them.
Mallory Gordon 31:23
That’s exactly what this is. And I generally speaking, do not have a ton of sympathy for people who are in the spotlight because with great power comes great responsibility, right? And you have to have coping mechanisms and learn how to compartmentalize and all of these things, because you’ve walked into the spotlight, but now you’re in the spotlight, right? Sometimes it’s a catch 22 factor this it’s just another one of those like, Are you fucking serious? Do we really have to play this level of the sand? But it’s a kitty litter box? It’s not even the sandbox?
Mickey Gordon 31:57
No, it’s, it’s a box of shit. And you know, I think you’re right. In that regard. I think there’s another factor that comes along. It’s just my opinion. Well, yeah, that’s all this show is our opinions. But because we’re not experts at anything. We say that all the time. But I think there’s another factor that comes into play here. Celebrities elevate themselves through exposure to almost a DFI themselves, then all of a sudden, and that’s how this all why they suddenly feel pressure to tell us to get out and vote or how to feel on subjects that we may not have an opinion on. So you suddenly see actors like Sean Penn’s dumbass running over to the Ukraine and, and shooting a video or doing these political theaters or doing all these things.
Mallory Gordon 32:39
I think it’s a little unfair that you call them dumb. But I digress. I
Mickey Gordon 32:43
am not a fan of Sean Penn. So my apologies if he’s a listener of the show.
Mallory Gordon 32:46
I doubt it. But he did fuck Madonna.
Mickey Gordon 32:49
Well, yeah, we’re Madonna fucked him. And he just sat there and cried. I mean, she’s quite
Mallory Gordon 32:54
a woman. Yeah, her fucking like social media.
Mickey Gordon 32:57
That’s expressed anyway.
Mallory Gordon 32:59
Anyway,
Mickey Gordon 33:00
my point is that when we have some, some people that put the elevate themselves and put themselves in this podium, we love to bring them down. And the same thing that happened with Jerry Falwell,
Mallory Gordon 33:11
it will, it’s horrible, because we bring them down out, I hate this. Anyone who’s got a psych degree out there. I know, there’s gotta be a word for it. But it’s the methodology that someone, sometimes even masters when they need to feel better about themselves, in order to do so they have to displace someone else, like bring them down a few rungs, and that makes them feel better makes them feel taller, prouder, that they’re right. And I know I’ve met people, I know people like this we live next, in the same neighborhood as
Mickey Gordon 33:41
some of these people. The theory is that every action has a cost. Yeah, but the problem is, I don’t think we always know what the cost is. Okay. And in this case, when we talk about deifying ourselves by becoming famous, or for whatever reason, and then having an opinion on everything. So when we fuck up. Everything they know about us becomes fodder.
Mallory Gordon 34:00
Yeah, it’s human nature. Sometimes we miss speak or miss communicate, or we’re misunderstood on top of it. So you just add those layers to that. And I mean, that is a bullshit boo cocky waiting to happen.
Mickey Gordon 34:12
Yeah. Well, and I mean, we could probably do 20 More of these memes, right.
Mallory Gordon 34:16
Yeah. And yeah, I mean, yeah, I think we have a few more in here. It’s up to you.
Mickey Gordon 34:20
I don’t know that it changes the conversation. I know that I saw most of these on Facebook in the days after the incident, along with about 100 Other versions of the same thing that essentially said their Will Smith is not allowed to defend his wife’s feelings because they have sex with other people.
Mallory Gordon 34:37
Okay, yeah, I can see him. That’s what I saw. Yep. Bullshit, or that he’s not maybe a lot direct emotionally into this because, you know, f is supposed to complicity in her alleged non monogamous activity. Like it was just about her.
Mickey Gordon 34:56
Right? Yeah. Right. Well, and so that’s what we were led to believe the because every photo we saw was of her with someone else. So he is either humiliated, or he’s complicit. And just on his knees going, do whatever you want honey, and I’ll be back here at home cleaning the floors and cutting the children’s hair.
Mallory Gordon 35:14
Yeah, because he can’t possibly love her feel driven to defend her because he allowed her to sleep with other people. That’s not the thing. You know.
Mickey Gordon 35:21
And I’ve actually heard this from a person once and the person was never brave enough to be in my presence again, after saying it online in an email. Will Smith is not a man because they engage in this activity. As well, what these memes are trying to say, yeah,
Mallory Gordon 35:40
it’s fucking bullshit. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion. I’m not trying to say that, you know, they’re not welcome to think whatever they want, you know, that’s like assholes. Everybody’s got one, you know? However, oh, I’m actually fuming now. So I needed to bring it down a couple notches
Mickey Gordon 36:03
coming out of Mallory’s head to trip
Mallory Gordon 36:06
up on my words, because it makes me so fucking angry. That this, those humans feel like they can define judge and put everyone in a box. And if it doesn’t meet their preconceived criteria, then it’s an abomination of some degree. It’s unacceptable some degree, those are the same people that socially accepted the fact that if it was cheating on his part, almost expected they would say nothing. They would say nothing. Of course he is,
Mickey Gordon 36:37
but if it’s her, she’s expected to have some public Maricopa why? Yeah, that makes no sense.
Mallory Gordon 36:43
People go I take them and I put them in the fuck the patriarchy bucket.
Mickey Gordon 36:48
You got a lot of that going on?
Mallory Gordon 36:49
I do. I have my own bullshit. And
Mickey Gordon 36:52
you got this major fuck the patriarchy. And by the way, by virtue of the fact that I have a Swinging Dick when I walked past you, when you’re in that mood, you’re like, die.
Mallory Gordon 37:00
I love you. Short story. Long story short, had a horrible, horrible workweek came home. I was like, I want to see new boys and I want to talk to boys. If you have penis, leave me alone for at least 24 hours. It was no bueno.
Mickey Gordon 37:14
There were a few of us that did not have a good weekend.
Mallory Gordon 37:16
So that happened. And then this happened was Sunday. Yeah. And they weren’t sorted that we got to watch Friday. The shop and a Sunday. I was like, You know what? All of all of you just burn.
Mickey Gordon 37:27
Just go away. Fuck all up. This is and not in the fun way. You know, this same shit happened to Jerry Falwell Jr. As his hot wife situation with his wife, right? These guys? You know, we did an episode on it. I think it was. God. Heaven forbid. But you know, the, the gist of it is, he had a hot wife relationship. They were fucking the pool boy. And when it came out, she had to throw herself on the sword and say, I’m an adulterous. He had no idea. I’m a harlot. Give me a scarlet letter. I’m a bad person. Yeah.
Mallory Gordon 38:01
And by the way, thank you for saying we were fucking the pool boy, even though he wasn’t fucking the full way. It was part of their dynamic. So by proxy included him. Yeah, I think that’s actually important and intentional. It was, it was very Thank you. And I love you for that. Of
Mickey Gordon 38:17
course, it’s you make decisions as a couple and good decisions, bad decisions, financial decisions, emotional decisions,
Mallory Gordon 38:25
is the way we’re a unit. We’re individuals. But when we make those choices, we do it together.
Mickey Gordon 38:31
We enjoy success. We also share and failure
Mallory Gordon 38:37
even even the or maybe even especially the ones we make independently. by proxy, our partners always affected almost
Mickey Gordon 38:46
always pay for my mistakes. Oops, I didn’t parent that one. Right. All right, this is gonna suck for a while. No, it really is a thing, but I need to know. You know? So this this is kind of a personal in kind of a hot button. And I’m gonna say right, you know, some people off well, I’m gonna say right now, I still love this person. And I have been friends a long time. And he’s one of my best friends in the plays.
Mallory Gordon 39:14
He is one of the first supporters of our relationship when we started dating. First, I’ll go back to MySpace, first top eight. Yeah. And as part of our relationship and
Mickey Gordon 39:23
I tell you what, if I have a shortlist of people that I need to call that I know will show up for me, he’s on it. 100% and he’s still on it. He always will me. This is not me calling him out and saying something bad about him. This is me saying that. Even great friendships, even personal relationships. We forget about them sometimes in the effort of making a joke that the masses will appreciate, right or that the common themes of our society will embrace. So And what I’m saying is, you know, we had friends who know about us who follow this show, listen to every fucking
Mallory Gordon 40:06
disorders, right? Are that they go I love you. This is great. I’m proud of you. Yeah, well, I thought that’s what it was right? And that’s how we defined it. And then
Mickey Gordon 40:17
this happened then I go out on Facebook and I see basically one of these jokes about Will Smith, and, you know, she’ll take a string of dicks, but she can’t take a joke. And I know, I’ve known this guy forever. I know exactly what he meant. It was a joke. And it was funny, kinda, except, you made that joke. And we are out there we are people that live this way. And you know what, we’re more out and open than even well, and Jada Smith or because we can because we’re not international celebrities now, right? And we’re not even celebrities in our own closet. But what I’m saying is that we can do things they can’t do. But you know, this is how we live. You know, this is who we are. And you know, this is not the case. And dude, you know, for a fact that if somebody put Mallory down, I wouldn’t stop slapping the shit out of him. I know. And only if I looked over and saw you hurting, nothing would stop me from trying to kill the dragon. Right? It’s like the dragon. Yeah, it’s that’s what happens, right? When we get upset. We want to slay the dragon. And why the fuck do we think it’s okay to make fun of consensually non monogamous people in public, but we wouldn’t dare say a fucking word about these people. If they were from the LGBT community.
Mallory Gordon 41:29
Hey, I’m bisexual. So, but I still don’t understand why why it was okay. And
Mickey Gordon 41:37
like, partly Why did no one feel like they should defend us? Yeah. And you know, what defend us was silence. Say nothing. Yeah, just don’t partake.
Mallory Gordon 41:45
And I got I’ve been negotiating this conversation in my head for quite some time now. And I don’t think they met mousemat. I think he noted in Aaron’s I know, and I know him and I raised my hand and I was like, I don’t understand why you thought this is okay. Like, I felt like you were part of you’re part of my safe space. You’re part of the the world where I can blend and be both things be all of the things I can be. And now making a mockery of that because you think it’s funny, makes me feel like I’m not safe? That I’m a joke, to some degree or what? Now I’m going What do you think of mine and my husband’s relationship? And about our our close friends that are also in? Well, are we just a mockery? Are we an Aquarian,
Mickey Gordon 42:41
I can tell you. And I’m going to tell a story that’s going to make me look really bad. But it’s true. And I learned from it, and I’ve never done it again. But it’s really hard to be an ally. It’s extremely difficult to be an ally, because while we want to support the people we love, we want to understand we want to, we want to act like we get it. We want to act like it’s no, we want to act like it’s no big deal. Right? And or that we support them or that we were empathize with them or sympathize with them, whatever their plight is. And the reality is, if you’re not in the community, you can’t write. Okay, and so we think we do we say we do. And then the reality is when the rubber hits the road, there’s no way we could because we’ve never
Mallory Gordon 43:38
been no round read it that way. Exactly. And, and there’s no relevancy, right? There’s the It’s like the difference between empathy and sympathy, right? direct relation to or I can do my best to understand, but I’ve never been there before, but I care about you.
Mickey Gordon 43:54
So my, my uncle was gay when gay was not okay. My uncle was gay. He was gay. When you got beaten to death for being gay. Yeah, he went to his seventh grade dances Cinderella. And he paid the price for it. He is one of the most dynamic, talented, bravest, bravest, kindest, most amazing souls I have ever met. And he is he’s a lot of things I wish I was. Same. He’s also homosexual. I do not wish I was that and we don’t share that. I’m good with that. And it’s nothing against him. It’s just not my chin. But I made a joke. within earshot of him with another uncle of mine when I was about 1718 years old,
Mallory Gordon 44:50
and an 1892, but yeah,
Mickey Gordon 44:52
back in 1892. We’re panning for gold by the river. No, but what happened was As my that uncle of mine was very alpha male we cut wood together we drove trucks in the mud together we chained sod shit together we did you know chewed tobacco and just outwardly toxic male shit. Ya know
Mallory Gordon 45:16
exactly.
Mickey Gordon 45:17
You know exactly what I’m talking about, hey, yeah. And but he walked up to me and like he took a swing at me and I slugged him in the shoulder or something. And I said, quit being a fag. And I spun around. And my other uncle who I just told you how much I love was standing right there.
Mallory Gordon 45:38
Luck. That was Yep. And
Mickey Gordon 45:42
I saw the look on his face. And I realized the unbelievable damage. That despite my outward claims of love, that despite my desire for him to know that I didn’t, I don’t accept you, I love you, there’s a difference. You’re not mine to accept or reject, tolerate. I’m not mine to tolerate, it’s none of your fucking business, how I live my life. It’s not in my fucking business, who you have sex with or who you love and vice versa. But what I did was I openly mocked who he was, in the fact that I didn’t know he was there was not relevant. Now. I fucking did it. And I shouldn’t have agreed. And I never knew how we felt until I saw that post from my friend.
Mallory Gordon 46:32
Think that’s the closest we could feel in that situation.
Mickey Gordon 46:36
I deserve this. I earned it. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 46:38
I mean, cuz I mean, think about that. For me, when you look at that situation, you go, this is a person that I love and care for this is a person, person I’ve nurtured I respect that is in my folder in my tribe. And we all want to believe that the reciprocal, the reciprocity, between all of us is at least equal at a minimum, it ebbs and flows, but it’s equal to some degree. And that shift tip scales really fucking hard. And what comes from that is not just an insecurity, it’s a it’s a deep, potentially deep rooted issue that puts up a blockade to go, I can’t share all of me with you anymore, because I don’t feel like you’re going to nurture protect that or, or even just fucking accept it. Yeah, well, I don’t think thank you for sharing that. By the way. I know it doesn’t be in a good light. It’s never easy to throw our fucking dirty laundry on the table, and go, Hey, once upon a time, I did a shitty thing. And I tried to be better
Mickey Gordon 47:41
every day. Every day, I’m trying to be better. And, you know, when I saw that, and I heard that and not just from this person. For many, many, many people, many people, I mean, not I only have like 12 friends on Facebook. So there’s a lot of reshard stuff. But the fact of the matter is, no one should be surprised why some ethically non monogamous people are hell bent on discretion, we’re hell bent on staying in the closet, we just push those people back in the closet 10 fucking years. Easy, because they know that they are the subject of ridicule, even if what they do has nothing to do with their sex life,
Mallory Gordon 48:12
right? And it’s helped me that there’s a lack of, of a want to understand it, it is still just a concept or to be mocked. Right? It’s fodder. It is
Mickey Gordon 48:25
fodder for the game. And I don’t think you can call someone your friend and tell them that you know who they are, and you support them. And then say things like that publicly on purpose. I get that we make comments, and maybe we realize the impact of them after we do good lord knows I’ve done it. I just told you guys about it. So I’m not holding any ill will toward anyone that did it. I just don’t want him to do it anymore.
Mallory Gordon 48:50
Yeah, yeah, I think I think I have to agree with you. Because there’s a certain level of understanding Can’t we can try to put ourselves in somebody else’s shoes and walk a mile in them, but it’s all theory. It’s a hypothesis at that point until you actually do it. That’s a totally different experience. It’s it lives somewhere different in your brain when you pull from that. Yeah. So that’s that’s my hope. You know, and I don’t think you know, going back to you know, the dynamic and relationship I don’t think we no one actually fucking knows a damn thing about will invade his bedroom. No, no, really, should we we’ve never been in a really should really shouldn’t be anything we’re talking about. Like, are they swingers? Is it a housewife situation? Maybe is a maybe there’s stagnant vixen? You know? Maybe Maybe they are cuck maybe there’s a cuckolding facet to the relationship? Who the fuck knows and who cares? Yeah, who fucking cares? We’re not in their bedroom. No, you know, it’s I’m still flabbergasted that that was the vast majority of the comic relief associated with that event.
Mickey Gordon 49:59
You know? Maybe we’ll see things getting jiggy with it while he’s fucking the whole time. No, no, no, no, no.
Mallory Gordon 50:07
Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 50:07
- Okay,
Mallory Gordon 50:09
that’s just me. No, no, no, no, no.
Mickey Gordon 50:11
Okay, so one more thing that grinds my gears that I think we you know have not really heard
Mallory Gordon 50:16
from again, you have to remind
Mickey Gordon 50:18
you don’t want really grinds my gears Peter Griffin. Okay. You know, these pictures of Jada with other guys and these, you know, Mia culpa is from her on her, she did this red couch show where she had to apologize for these
Mallory Gordon 50:34
red table red tape, okay, and she’s done it with her daughter and her mother. And it’s actually, I’ve really enjoyed this series. I’m not gonna lie,
Mickey Gordon 50:42
okay, I’ve never seen it. I just watched the one where she had to apologize.
Mallory Gordon 50:48
I’m a sucker for when people get a little vulnerable and real and talk about this shit no one wants to talk about because that’s where we learn. Right? Right where we grow. Here’s
Mickey Gordon 50:57
the pictures of all the girls that Will’s been polishing behind the scenes. No one takes him it doesn’t happen. Why?
Mallory Gordon 51:05
Because the patriarchy I don’t know.
Mickey Gordon 51:09
I don’t know. I gotta ask bomber. But this is actually where I was talking to bomber the other day, and I kind of made a joke about it. And I think we’re gonna do a show with them. But I mean, I thought the patriarchy was all like old white dudes. Wills not white. So
Mallory Gordon 51:23
I think the penis still rules over vagina. Okay, now a lot of good a lot of situations. Unfortunately, the fact that I’ll come back to that with black energy and maybe it’s just Marja. Oh my God, by the way, you show them as long overdue like I am foaming at the mouth because those are people I love and respect very very, very much.
Mickey Gordon 51:41
Yeah, I had a phone call bomber and Bell the other night that was supposed to be 15 minutes and I was on the phone like an hour and a half so it’s gonna be a great show. It’s gonna be fun. I can’t wait to stage five clinger? Yeah, I just couldn’t, I wouldn’t let them hang up because Bill and Bill got tired and she’s like, Bitch going to bed. But, uh, you know, it’s the same bullshit. Like I said, that happened with Falwell Jr’s wife. And I just gotta say, this is just for me, to you guys. In a nobody to give advice. This is how I feel. You know, standing up for your woman is a good thing. It’s important to stand with her when things like this happen. Yeah. Never let her feel alone. I mean, especially when she’s dealing with a medical issue. She cannot feel alone, ever. If we go down a road, we go down the road, Mallory’s never alone. And I kind of think that might be where Willis that night? Will all this happening previously, with all the jokes with him openly asking for respect for her condition, which he did? Did he feel like he had to put on a show of love and respect for her publicly? Maybe I would have.
Mallory Gordon 52:49
Maybe But you and I have a dynamic where for the most part, there’s, I have a very small sample of anything that deviates from this. I need your support because I have to handle my shit. That is where I stand. I don’t need a white knight. I don’t need you coming in with guns blazing. I need I need to handle my shit. But I need your support and handling it. Sometimes I need you to be a sounding board. Sometimes I need you to be the post that holds my back up and straight. And that allows me to walk tall into the rooms where I need to present myself as such. And sometimes I’m the janitor, sometimes the janitor cleaning up the fucking mess I’ve made. Where did this condom come from? Yeah, no, that is not what I met that happened. But I have I’ve had. And maybe maybe there’s a lot of women that can really as I’ve had my struggles, and I think it’s directly related to being a woman and the business I’m in. And maybe that’s because we’re a small business. But it’s important for me to earn that respect, and live or die by me. I do not need my husband going in and fighting every fucking battle for me. That’s not what I want. That’s not who I am. But your support means everything. And I would never question ever. That that’s how you feel. In some there’s been again, a limited small sample that you’ve gone past that check in consent and just went right to this is how we’re gonna handle this. And I’m gonna go ahead and take the lead.
Mickey Gordon 54:31
It makes sense. Well, our response to all of this has been destroyed them and it has been destructive for lifestyle relationships, future lifestyles. There are people out there that have been talking about the lifestyle thinking about the lifestyle, maybe talking about it in bed fantasizing about it. And the person that had trepidation in that relationship is now terrified. That person now thinks that their sexuality will be fodder for jokes when honestly the rest of us should have been talking about something else like anger manage Mint or event security? Right. I think two things come of this. swingers are now afraid, even more than they ever have been before that they will face the judgment of their friends. And the other thing that comes with this is that
Mallory Gordon 55:14
Yeah, cuz now it’s fucking ranking. So now like everyone’s like related stories, you know, like news articles come out. Yeah, like so now that you’ve clicked on all these articles and have read and talked about this incident, you’re gonna get more information and exposure to that subject matter just by proxy, because that’s how the fucking algorithms work. So yeah, I feel like I’m under a microscope.
Mickey Gordon 55:36
And we’re already here. If you’re on the outside looking in thinking about coming in, you’re gonna think twice now. Maybe Yeah, because you feel ridicule is more likely. Now the other thing and this
Mallory Gordon 55:48
felt shame for it for a second. That’s what really pissed me off. I was like, I let someone make me feel scared and ashamed for a hot minute. And fuck that? No, that’s not okay.
Mickey Gordon 56:00
Well, the other thing, and this has nothing to do with the lifestyle at all, is every person and as an emcee, I think about this, there’s a guy standing in front of a room with a microphone, I have to say things that are parody, I have to say things that are jokes to keep the crowd engaged. Next time I make a joke about somebody they don’t like, or that their spouse doesn’t like or they’re going to come running up and try and take a swing. Because we’ve just told comedians, everywhere you are on stage, but you are also at risk. He should have been better protected. And as a person standing up, they’re just doing their job parody needs to be protected because the First Amendment protects parity. And it’s important that we know that look, at the end of the day, it’s just a joke. And you probably shouldn’t go up smack the shit out of somebody for a joke. But so there’s
Mallory Gordon 56:52
like the two year old. Please use your words. We don’t use our hands. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 56:56
that’s, that’s really where I want to finish this is that, you know, anger management of insecurity, they kind of go in well, together, we always take the low road, we shouldn’t we always choose the lowest common denominator for the joke we shouldn’t. And lifestyles we have to do better if we want other people to follow suit. We have to let people know they have a community here. They have a place here. And that even the people you love will sometimes say things about you behind your back or in front of you by accident. And just because he said it that doesn’t mean they mean it. It doesn’t mean that he
Mallory Gordon 57:27
Yeah, it also doesn’t mean that bullets meant for you. It doesn’t mean they know Right. Because like I think we all get to that point. Yeah, where someone makes a joke.
Mickey Gordon 57:36
About us. Yeah, so are there pineapple jokes. We get those all the time. There’s, there’s tons of them. But what I’m saying is even if it hurts your feelings, it doesn’t mean that they necessarily meant to so that’s I take a breath. We are we’re evolving.
Mallory Gordon 57:50
It’s an opportunity for conversation and evolution. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 57:53
we’re evolving. You know, the LGBT community was way way ahead of us on this was you condense
Mallory Gordon 57:59
that a little bit? Yeah, you summarize acronym?
Mickey Gordon 58:03
Because there’s so many goddamn letters and I can’t get them on.
Mallory Gordon 58:06
Also, I’m dyslexic so like, I purposely not because out of disrespect. I try to avoid going into it because I always fuck up the letters in order
Mickey Gordon 58:15
100% Right. You know, thank you dyslexia down with whatever you want to be but I’m gonna take my hand and wipe it across the keyboard and hope I got them all Yeah, it’s just the way it is. But I do think
Mallory Gordon 58:24
that we’ve beat the Missy Elliott song sheriff.
Mickey Gordon 58:27
I think that’s all those songs.
Mallory Gordon 58:30
I did not do that justice. Please get that out.
Mickey Gordon 58:32
She said I’m not cutting anything out because I’m not editing on the road. This is a stream of consciousness Kiki stream of consciousness from Mickey Mallory. Okay,
Mallory Gordon 58:42
that one you’re not cutting out?
Mickey Gordon 58:44
No way. I said, I only cut out my mistakes. Not yours. All right. Well, all right. This is kind of beat this to death. I think it was fun. We’re going to come back in a hot psycho Mallory’s toy box we’re going to talk about 30 days of laundry and her favorite.
Mallory Gordon 58:56
Oh my god, I have good shit to talk about. I’m so excited.
Mickey Gordon 58:59
This is why we rank for poop. You keep saying shit.
Mallory Gordon 59:01
No, that’s no no, that didn’t mean actual. No, I didn’t need to be CS.
Mickey Gordon 59:06
No, you had to throw the technical word in. Yes. All right, folks. We’re gonna shut her up. We’ll be back in just a second to talk about 30 days ago, Andre. You’ve been listening to casual cleaning of boxing. I’m gonna win one last time back with us here at casual swinger. I am still Mickey. I hope you guys are still with us after I don’t know me saying bad words and us going on a rant for an hour.
Mallory Gordon 59:48
Thank you for hanging out for a hard diatribe.
Mickey Gordon 59:51
Why don’t we keep doing this we said we’re gonna do a silly episode. Now we do need a silly episode up in this bitch swear to God, I’m gonna have to get a fucking colonoscopy on the air at some point.
Mallory Gordon 1:00:00
I don’t I don’t see that being light hearted or funny.
Mickey Gordon 1:00:04
No, probably not, let’s say well because obviously,
Mallory Gordon 1:00:07
but Q I wonder what’s inside your buttholes
Mickey Gordon 1:00:13
Alright, well, this is Mallory’s toy box. So I’m gonna turn the mic over to the beautiful Mallory to talk about some of her
Mallory Gordon 1:00:18
Oh, my favorite slot where I’m so excited that we can talk a little bit about the laundry because I’ve fallen in love with a new brand. This is actually something Oh, I did it. I didn’t um, I’m a mama mom. I told you. No, but you put it in my mind. And now it’s gonna happen subconsciously because it’s there
Mickey Gordon 1:00:34
is the brand called them because otherwise it is called
Mallory Gordon 1:00:37
noir and made and that’s n o IR and made this up and hit me. Yes. So this is a European company. Very high quality product packaging superb. It comes with suggestions on the back of the bucks for the different lines they have. They have an enormous selection. So what they’ve kind of honed in on is this knotting nice but leather latex. Jive about them. So you could go across and like maybe on the bondage DME scale to something that’s just up maybe a little more sexy slash raunchy
Mickey Gordon 1:01:22
leather look product, a leather look,
Mallory Gordon 1:01:24
that’s perfect because they are aligned. That’s one thing I love about this product. So right now I’m looking at this body suit. And this body suit is something I wore to actually PCAP encore. So if you go look at her Twitter feed and you go back to November, we did the Joker and Catwoman for one of the theme nights. It was like a superhero villain theme.
Mickey Gordon 1:01:49
Oh my god you were so
Mallory Gordon 1:01:52
we use it my PC Lipson, but I digress. All right,
Mickey Gordon 1:01:54
that did not get me however, it is
Mallory Gordon 1:01:57
fucking hot. And I’ve always kind of stayed away from these types of outfits because we need that leather and latex like, they’re usually not aligned. They’re usually
Mickey Gordon 1:02:11
really hot with violin leather or like sweat boxes,
Mallory Gordon 1:02:15
right and very uncomfortable. Now granted, I’m not saying this is breathable, but it’s it is hands down. The most comfortable and sexy bodies today I’ve ever worn in my life. And I love that I could fuck and not take it off to like there’s an element of hot and you loved it. I loved it. So it has what I would call a keyhole zipper. So it has two zippers that meet each other in the middle. So you can do like a little keyhole effect, where you’re showing like the cleavage and the boobies. Or if you bring them both down and stop, just you know, between your pubic and your belly button. The zipper actually goes all the way back. Pasi like to almost the top of my ass crack. So like I can literally fuck and not take my clothes off if I wanted to do locked and loaded a little bit of DOM little bit of denial that like it’s it’s fucking hot is shit. And it’s got this little so it almost looks like you have thigh highs on so it’s got this breakouts where they have these nylon pieces so you can see the top of your thighs and it’s just absolutely outstanding. So after wearing this piece, I really have dove into the brand. And I have to say I’m I’m in love. So they have some softer pieces to one of the pieces I’m actually going to be doing a photoshoot with you this week, for 30 days of lingerie, I would classify it as more DOM chiffon. So it’s actually just like a chiffon short dress that has a strap and leather texture to it that has a hint of both worlds. Again super comfortable, super sexy. I can see them being very intentional with their design that this is these products fit a multitude of body types and for me I love that oh my gosh I did it again and it’s still your fault. Here we go blaming you.
Mickey Gordon 1:04:16
By the way, they go all the way up to four XL.
Mallory Gordon 1:04:19
Exactly. Now I’ll I’ll just a little pro tip here the one pieces order your normal size now with a bottoms because there’s like booty shorts and like these super sexy like G strings and a multitude of bottoms that they they sell in separate specifically with the bottoms. I have to size up and I wouldn’t say have a disproportionate lower half maybe I’ve always been a little bigger but I feel like they run just a little snug for the sizing. So if you’re you’re online or questioning it as far as bottoms for nor handmade, size up one um I’m going to try the leggings, the leggings or something I haven’t tried because they’re kind of like thigh highs. They have these cutouts, some are lease, some are latex. So I will report back with my findings because I just received my first set of them that I’d also like to take pictures in. But as far as the general bottoms go, the booty shorts, the pants, the what do they call G strings, I would definitely size up one. They also do really high quality soft bliss pieces, there’s a lace dress. And I’m you forgive me, I had every intention of giving everyone the names of these and we can post them on Twitter and the casual choice I will put in the show notes. The store links links the start at least so you can see what I’m talking about. There’s a super hot, it’s got a key back dress that is just fucking hot as shit. The lace is so soft and comfortable. And this is a piece that you could flip both ways you could be naughty, or you could be nice with it, you can do the dumb roll. Or you can even do the sub roll with it doesn’t necessarily have to be really either. I can even see me pairing this with something that I could potentially wear out. That’s another great thing about this line there. They have quite a few pieces that you could do a purpose bedroom, or club or, you know sexy dinner date. It really has a lot of versatility to
Mickey Gordon 1:06:24
- We could see you pairing some of this with some of them. Upali stuff.
Mallory Gordon 1:06:28
Oh 100% 100% That’s something I’m going to be more deliberate about moving forward is purchasing some of my sexy wear for outwear. So what are your thoughts on the line?
Mickey Gordon 1:06:42
I love this line, I get asked all the time, I’m looking for something sexy, I want something different. And what I love about noir handmade, first of all, the quality’s just off the charts, it’s like, it’s like opening an Apple product. When you get a noir handmade product, that packaging is just obscene. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 1:07:01
it comes in a cardboard sleeve with a description of the like a visual of the product on one side, we flip it over, and it gives you the back view, right and it also gives you the suggestions for stuff that will match or be similar inside the line. And then you slide the packaging out and it has its tissue paper. It’s got a little sticker on there. And you open it up and it feels like a touch and feels like a premium product and then you actually physically tucks it, you put it on. It still feels premium it still feels premium. It’s even at the price. My perspective on it is it’s a value. Yeah. And so much so like I keep it in its original packaging and I don’t throw it in my lingerie drawer. You know, because I have a new lingerie dresser. Yeah, yeah, that has all its class.
Mickey Gordon 1:07:49
I’m sorry, just that battleship lingerie. Is that what it is?
Mallory Gordon 1:07:53
Like a Dewey Decimal System for my lingerie collection.
Mickey Gordon 1:07:56
I think you should have known that just hands you what you want. When you have a gnome, please. That’d be the best. Although I don’t know that his servitude would be acceptable. But
Mallory Gordon 1:08:05
I’m a sucker for good packaging. This is really good bashing this is probably lay desire. Or my favorite packaging. Yeah, lines. Yeah, lay desires and music really make you feel like you made excellent choices. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 1:08:19
well, this product is an excellent choice. So the piece that you talked about that is if your pussy lip up in, which was entirely my fear of execution, not the product. Yeah, it was my fault. So what I love about that particular piece, first of all, you looked kind of like a cross between Scarlett Johansson from Black Widow.
Mallory Gordon 1:08:37
Oh my gosh, marry me now.
Mickey Gordon 1:08:39
You look I did. And you looked also like maybe barbed wire painting Anderson.
Mallory Gordon 1:08:46
Oh, yeah. Out. Yeah. And it’s the new hoots.
Mickey Gordon 1:08:50
Yeah. It must be the nudes. And then you also kind of evoked Catwoman also, which is who you were trying to evoke? Actually, you had a whip and the claws and all that shit on. It just gave you all these things. But my favorite thing about that particular outfit was it. And I think you kind of missed this when you talked about it. But I remember this from when I was in zipping you. That is a three way zipper, meaning you can open the keyhole in your breasts and go crotchless at the same time. Is that three weeks to three weeks zipper? I only remember because it was the third zipper that I got stuck in your pussy. Yeah, I
Mallory Gordon 1:09:20
miscalculated. So did I. Yeah.
Mickey Gordon 1:09:22
And bad things happened mostly to you. And then me by proxy because you were angry at me. Oh, eight
Mallory Gordon 1:09:29
only hurt for like a minute and then whatever. Like we didn’t have. We had six the next morning. I didn’t wanna have sex that night. I was convinced that like one of my pussy lips was damaged. I was fine. Actually.
Mickey Gordon 1:09:39
I cleaved off one of your labia I know. But what I will tell you about noir handmade is that it is a tremendous product line. It is a premium product line for us. It’s not cheap, but I need you to know it’s worth it. It’s really worth it’s honest to god worth it. It’s worth the money. Buy that shit. Because and don’t wait because what just because we have it right now. If it goes away, we don’t get it.
Mallory Gordon 1:10:00
back. Yeah, so they do, they do tend to have very specific runs their lines, and they have seasons to them and when it’s gone, it’s gone. Once they’re they’ve stopped production on it, they’ve stopped. So now like there’s, there’s got to be like a vintage or like secondary market on these things fucking handmade It is literally handmade. When they’re done, I was gonna say they’re also European. So the limited run actually makes sense. Now does that make them grumpy? It makes the blinds very hard to pronounce. I had every intention of doing so but they’re all in German. And it sounds like I’m leaving. I have a cold. And also I cannot. I’m like Peggy hill of anyone singing can you help trying to recite
Mickey Gordon 1:10:45
and speak Spanish? Oh, my German I lost some Wolfenstein? Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 1:10:49
I’m not going to be disrespectful. But they’re all German. Oh, so All right. I digress. shizer that’s a dirty word, isn’t it?
Mickey Gordon 1:11:02
It’s on brand.
Mallory Gordon 1:11:05
Ring for shit in Germany. We’re fighting.
Mickey Gordon 1:11:08
Oh, but it will be so good. Anyway. Well, hey, Mallory. Yes.
Mallory Gordon 1:11:11
Toybox Yeah, nor handmade. Check it out.
Mickey Gordon 1:11:15
Check it out. We’re gonna put some links in the show notes and we will drop that shit on Twitter so you know where to find it. Speaking of find it, Malory, you want to do the things and tell people where to find us.
Mallory Gordon 1:11:24
Yeah, take your pants off. You should find it right.
Mickey Gordon 1:11:27
Well, it’s not well, yeah, it’s hard to find. Very small. Whatever minutes it really.
Mallory Gordon 1:11:32
That’s called fishing. No,
Mickey Gordon 1:11:34
I have the penises name is Gulliver. Ah,
Mallory Gordon 1:11:38
all right, Moby Dick. Here we go. So we are casual swinger everywhere. You can find this at casual swinger.com And you want to shoot us a note or a message podcast at Kaiser slinger.com That is our email we both get it in fact, fun facts truth here by Mallory. We’re also on social media. And we’re dropping shit. No, we’re we are really on social media. You can find us on Twitter, YouTube, Facebook and Instagram. And if you want to find this on dating sites and see man naked ass, Cassidy SLS sec and double date Nishan I don’t know if I’m actually unique. It
Mickey Gordon 1:12:11
is you are password. The password is password is penis.
Mallory Gordon 1:12:17
Boobies. Oh, labia Bilva.
Mickey Gordon 1:12:22
Felicia cunnilingus that’s your spell. That’ll do it folks. That’s for us. We have run along here tonight in this cabin in the woods. Hopefully we don’t get chopped itty bitty wafer thin sections.
Mallory Gordon 1:12:37
Hey, you know we had a friend over that lives in a van down by the river while we’re here.
Mickey Gordon 1:12:41
He does live in a van down by the river is gonna fucking weird bastard. Anyway. That’s it for us. We’ll be back in a couple of weeks with another episode. Hopefully we’ll have some fun. Hopefully you guys learned something this time at least about what we think of all those motherfuckers who talk shit about swingers. We’ve been talking about the slap here on campus. Come join us next time. All right. You’ve been listening to casual
