Thanks for the Mammaries

Recent Podcast

Casual Swinger Recommends

Mickey & Mallory kick off Season 4 with an introduction to her journey into breast augmentation.  We cover what we’ve learned from the FOUR different doctors plus research on the types of breast augmentation, the incisions, the materials, and even the aftercare for your new boobies.  


It’s an information heavy episode, but when we’re done you’ll know everything we know about Mallory’s new titties!  Are you ready for this journey?


Casual Toys

We-Vibe Nova 2

Unique Condom


Rachal’s Rascals

Hedonism II

Hearing impaired? This podcast is transcribed for your convenience.

Edit Content


SE04E01 – Thanks for the Mammaries

Fri, 8/27 5:27PM • 1:07:54


implant, silicone, thought, boob, capsular contracture, doctor, muscle, toy, big, swinger, people, shit, casual, feel, surgery, point, breast augmentation, rabbit, call, breast


Mickey Gordon, Mallory Gordon


Mallory Gordon  00:08

You’re listening to the casual swinger podcast. As your hosts, we need to warn you that the material you’re about to hear may be sexual or explicit in nature. This podcast is intended for an adult audience. Now, we don’t expect you to act like adults. What’s the fun in that?


Mickey Gordon  00:22

We’re a married couple living in Florida with over 13 years of experience in the lifestyle and we take almost nothing seriously. Casual swingers variety show meaning we’ll cover everything from music to events, travel, and even the occasional hilarious screw up. Our show was about entertainment. We’re not licensed professionals had anything in our stories, commentary and guidance should not be confused the opinions of a licensed professional now that you know, let’s take those pants off and get comfy. everybody welcome to season four of casual swinger. My name is Mickey.


Mallory Gordon  01:05

And I’m Mallory and I am fucking digging the intro music that is sexy.


Mickey Gordon  01:11

You know, every season I try to come up with something that basically I’m like, would Mallory bang to this? Oh, yeah. should be something. Oh, yes. Yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh, all the music. Good. That’s all right. So this episode is all about dem titties. breasts. Oh, jugs knockers? Hooters. bag. Tips. Oh, that’s a good one. That was like the George Carlin. Personal floatation devices. That’s great. sweater puppies. Oh, there’s a good one to chesticles What about stress balls? Hey, those are my favorite. I use your like Stress Balls all the time. You know, my favorite one is rubies. What fucking worth it. I thought it was chesticles it’s definitely I loved it. We’re going to talk about this episode is called Thanks for the memories. And this is about Mallory’s personal journey toward bigger Hooters. Well, bigger? Yes. No, not a ton. Yeah, I’m we’re not gonna I’m not gonna have like these two volleyballs I can smack around now. No, no, no. I mean,


Mallory Gordon  02:23

I mean, they’ll be bigger for sure. But I’m not gonna go like ridiculous, you know, outside of my body frame.


Mickey Gordon  02:29

Oh, see, I have this vision in my head like Rocky Balboa on the speed bag


Mallory Gordon  02:34

with gt like Phooey. Something. I mean, I think you like boobs in general. And I don’t know that it matters. Yeah. So let them know. I. Yeah, we’re gonna talk about breast augmentation.


Mickey Gordon  02:46

Yeah. Your personal journey too. So we’re not gonna bring in a doctor. This time. We’re not gonna do any serious medical mumbo jumbo. We’re gonna talk about just kind of what it took for me to get there. But before we do, let’s talk about season four a little bit. Expect in season four. Where we go in, of course, the new music. Yeah, I was


Mallory Gordon  03:03

gonna say the sexy Intro music that I’m over here. Like just moving my hips around in circles. Yeah, I dig it. You did? Wonderful. Well, I thank you, man. Yeah, I think with the State of the Union right now, I think we can plan on some travel here in season four. At least I hope so. Maybe one day we’ll get to see a Canadian again. That’d be pretty cool. No, no, that would be nice everyday furlough that we did, we did get a preview rated peak app.


Mickey Gordon  03:30

Yeah, two whole sets of Canadian I think we were the only ones allowed to leave and if they came back alive, they’ll send out a third. Oh my gosh, no. I like zombies. Now so we are going to travel a little bit. We’ve got a bunch of things coming out. We just got home from a couple trips we’re gonna talk about in a second. But you know, I think what do we expect in season four is we’re gonna just try and have fun with you guys. Everything’s been such a shit show has been so fucking serious. So we’re gonna have some fun. We’re gonna make stupid jokes. Basically more casual swinger, but when maybe a little extra? I don’t know. I’m trying to think of what I’m gonna have done to me in season four. Because I mean, I had my you know, my dick shot up this season three, I hit my asshole wax in season two. What do you guys think I should do in season four. Oh, God.


Mallory Gordon  04:12

I just can’t even I don’t know what to expect from you.


Mickey Gordon  04:16

Maybe I’ll go skydiving and I’ll record it. Like all the way that is all you owe me on my last episode.


Mallory Gordon  04:21

Yeah, maybe maybe I have to continue on without you have to teach me how to edit this shit. newsflash, Mallory does not do that part. No, that would be Mickey’s job. Yeah. But hey, speaking of music, we did some fun shit this weekend. What do we Oh Yeah, we did. We went in. So one of my favorite bands whiskey Myers, who was opening for Jimmie Johnson, who was also amazing, but I am a huge whiskey Myers fan.


Mickey Gordon  04:41

Yes. I By the way, that was Jamie Johnson. Not jimmy johnson because Jimmy Johnson is a retired coach.


Mallory Gordon  04:49

Oh, no. Is that I was thinking Jimmy Dean. Oh, you’re kidding. Your inner Big Girls like I think I skipped lunch today because I just Just had dinner and I’m still hungry.


Mickey Gordon  05:01

Oh I don’t know is that your inner big girl your inner horror because sausage? Probably both okay I’m in a weird spot right now. Okay all these hormones and she


Mallory Gordon  05:12

said it was some really good friends of ours slightly sophisticated and he went through he miss Jeff god what


Mickey Gordon  05:17

local ones were insanely hot people. Yeah they’re really fun to hang around I just love being around these guys it’s so great and then the weekend before we were in Iowa, right Iowa, Iowa everybody knows we wax poetic about it and it’s not the state by the way so much fucking corn. I’ve never seen all that much corn in my life. It was crazy.



Yeah, and you were talking about the the how they dip cordon and liquid latex I don’t think the other restaurant thought that was oh and


Mallory Gordon  05:46

I think no but I think they believed you that that’s what they really do up there. And


Mickey Gordon  05:52

maybe they do their visa has up there that is literally dipping corncobs in latex and selling things. So think about it. Everyone’s a different size. It’s a new adventure every time


Mallory Gordon  06:03

oh my gosh, how much caffeine have you had? Because I don’t feel like I’ve had enough I’m not we’re not matching get on my level. Yeah. Like a squirrel on acid. I really did have fun and I wish I did too. But the what I was trying to say before you rudely interrupted down your your keyhole here is that I look around and I feel so grateful that there’s wonderful people on our lives like that. And it’s just such a good feeling.


Mickey Gordon  06:27

It really is. I mean, in what we’re talking about, we’re talking about the corn fed swingers the swingers of the corn


Mallory Gordon  06:32

well on a Wednesday was when at least sophisticated slightly stupid. That’s That’s it, kids. I’m out. Here freakin done for the day. This is why why you have to get me early in the day. It’s my bedtime right now. caffeinated, sober. I can’t wait till they listen to this episode. Stupid. Slightly stupid. It’s actually really good. Bad.


Mickey Gordon  07:02

Because it was awesome. Anyway, yeah. But no, they are wonderful. I mean, they were all great. But I was I really didn’t think Derek and Jess enough because they did, you know, bring us into their home. And they took us out on their boat and did all kinds of other fun stuff. So it was just a great Fourth of July. Yeah, it was wonderful. We had a blast. And I mean, it’s we weren’t here for the fireworks to annoy our dogs and drive us crazy. I know we love to kids. Our kids do it. is we’re awesome parents. Yeah, well, anyway, video because this thing will go on forever. Because we just


Mallory Gordon  07:33

want to say Yeah, well, I was trying to say that, you know, I’m just grateful cuz I’m, I’m a total dork. And they tolerate me and they let me act a fool. They are my age than my IQ.


Mickey Gordon  07:45

It was so much fun. It was great. We swam in the Mississippi and did all that. Oh, don’t brag about that. We’ll have to go get a cancer. What is that floating past? I told people at work that they’re like you I totally did it. I don’t care. I’m still here. I mean, I still I believe 11 toes.


Mallory Gordon  08:06

I think I drink some water is that what’s been wrong with you ever Navy, maybe maybe that’s why I’ve been in distress.


Mickey Gordon  08:12

Like we had so much positive feedback on that last episode of season three, we got to give you guys some love. Thank you for everyone that reached out not only that told us about how you’ve taken control of your hormone health with your own doctors, because a lot of you have reached out and talk to us about your own journey with hormone health. But a lot of you have been reaching out trying to find out how to get ahold of Dr. Phillips, by all means of you know, reach out to us. We’ll set you guys up. He does do remote consultations and can review your labs with you over the phone. So if you want to talk to our guy, by all means, we’ll hook you up. It was just really really cool. I’m so grateful to have seen all these messages from you guys. It it validates the shit out of what we do because it means something to you. It means we’re talking about things that matter to our friends and listeners out there and I love that. Yeah, at least feel less like narcissist and egomaniac me because we’re sitting in a room by ourselves and recording it. Yeah, that’s not narcissistic at all. Alright, so about Shark Week.


Mallory Gordon  09:07

So ironically, I got my period just in time for shark week on Discovery Channel. So the universe has a really fine fine tuned sense of humor and I believe is targeting me specifically. Oh, yeah, I believe in me. It definitely impacted me so the sexy weekend turned into slip fail. Yeah, epic slip fail. It is what it is. I wish especially that first like day and a half that mentally I could get in that space to where like I’m still supercharged and horny which will be really like that’ll start tomorrow where the roller coaster still shut down. But my body’s like yeah, give me some give me some just in time for me to be in San Jose for the week. Yeah, I know. Right? Well, and because like the theme parks not shut down and I wanted to feel sexy. I just couldn’t get my mental spaces there. And that’s it’s that 24 to 48 hours like perfect. Yeah,


Mickey Gordon  10:00

I know and you said to be shut down and that’s not bullshit cuz you said the roller coaster was closed and I’m like find the log flumes open. Let’s get to work and you were like, Oh,


Mallory Gordon  10:08

well, everyone. I’m not even gonna have no conversation with you right?


Mickey Gordon  10:11

No one will let me have you seen the size of your deck? It’s fun. I know what my butthole will cover. Moving on so we sold a lot of condoms. Oh shit either way sold an absolute of condoms. We got our largest condom mortar ever, which we’d love you guys for Thank you so much. We got an order for ad packs. There’s three to a pack is an AES 240 condoms.


Mallory Gordon  10:44

Wow, that’s a lot of sex. Someone. I hope a lot of someone’s many times well, that’s one someone to have sex that


Mickey Gordon  10:53

well. He bought, like several. I think he bought 20 of every guns when he said it just what a amazing thing for somebody to do. And they actually bought them for the Rachel’s rascals trip coming up in November. They are a rascal and they wanted to actually share they liked these condoms so much. They wanted to share them with people and show them off and get people to try them because they’re a premium product. And maybe people aren’t going to spend, you know, eight to $10 on it.


Mallory Gordon  11:16

You know that? I totally understand that. Because it is a gamble at that at that price point. So it makes sense. Yeah, it’s a it’s a perceived value thing.


Mickey Gordon  11:24

Yeah. So I love that he did that. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. And he did it for people because he really wants them to try them which I just thought was pretty awesome. And you know something else. I actually had to order more Uber lube. So great. And you know, when I travel back to the Midwest, I really want to go visit those nice folks that make Uber lube in Illinois, Skokie, Illinois. Skokie, Illinois. You didn’t say it’s when your favorite words. Yeah, that you Ypsilanti in Donegal. Yeah. Holy Toledo. Anywho shout out to our friends at DC corsets love those guys. Yeah.


Mallory Gordon  11:57

Oh my gosh, have you seen all the bikinis? Oh, I’ve been on Twitter. So many new. I don’t know what we did to deserve that. But it was like someone posted something then all I know is like hot chicks in bikinis all over my Twitter feed


Mickey Gordon  12:11

is very exciting, and awesome day. It really was. And I mean, first of all, the women are beautiful. I mean, almost. They’re all I mean, everyone’s beautiful in the lifestyle. We live all of you, those of you that have been modeling or bikinis and stuff and showing off some of the things you’ve gotten from casual toys just make our hearts want to explode, and other things and other things. I’m not gonna lie as those corsets have really really taken off we’ve gotten a bunch of traction on this corsets and people are pairing them with the Pixies which everybody loves. Oh yeah, it’s just so hot


Mallory Gordon  12:39

and it’s it’s so easy to do they have I mean there’s there’s stuff that’s runs a traditional gamut right the the burlesque pinup sexy and and the like the Boo duar you know, style. And there’s some really like, interesting creative things like I love the tight I kick sees the splash color kick sees. And there’s some of these have z core sets that kind of reminds you of like an EDM festival. That’s all and some of them paired together are just cute as shit. Yes, sexy is Fuck, we’re gonna


Mickey Gordon  13:08

have to put some bundles together and stuff. Maybe that’ll be in the mallery approved sector soon for you.


Mallory Gordon  13:12

I want them all at once instead of to my face. Okay, cuz like, I’m like, I’m so old, which I’m not but no, I you just say that. It’s like a No, I’m not. And you don’t even have these hormones coursing through your body. Now I feel like my body feels like it’s 25. Two days out of the week. I didn’t hear you because I was still talking. So I said your vagina to my vagina feels What? Yang is in hot? Okay. Well, that’s a good thing. I’ll take that.


Mickey Gordon  13:44

Alright, why don’t you tell folks from your perspective, what this episode is about, and we’ll bounce out of here for a minute and come back.


Mallory Gordon  13:50

Okay, so this is kind of a big deal, I think pretty much the length of time I’ve known you. But seriously, over the last 10 years, I have personally been considering breast augmentation and I’ve vacillated back and forth. I’m just thinking about it made me feel you know, vapid or vain. So it took me a long time to have that internal conversation with myself doing all the research, kind of coming to terms with it. And the net net of it is I have surgery booked for 2020 when I made a decision, but this was a journey so I wanted to kind of share my journey so far where the road so far and give you guys updates as I get closer to my surgery date post surgery, my experiences because that’s something that not that I was lacking, but just the information available in someone you know that a lot of people are willing to share a bunch of information because it is kind of personal, very and then when you find you know, there’s so much information on the internet but by the time you read, you know 1% Have it you have conflicting information? So, anyway, so yeah, we’re gonna get into my upcoming breast augmentation and share some details with you guys. stuff I’ve learned.


Mickey Gordon  15:11

There we go. So maybe that’s what we’ll do. We’ll just broadcast live from the room while Bob


Mallory Gordon  15:15

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, that’s not happening. Okay. Geez, you’re gonna pass out you can’t do surgery. You will pass. I tried to show you. I tried to show you how they play. No, no. And you will start wait. I didn’t even show you anything. I just told you. I was going to and I thought you were gonna pass out


Mickey Gordon  15:35

Don’t do it. Don’t ruin my love for fun bags by making them see me see them bloody. Not Okay. Okay. No, no, no, they’re beautiful things. Why don’t you tell everybody where to find us? Like they don’t know, but maybe it’s changed in season four. So tell me where to find us. We’ll come back with your story of your beautiful Tata.


Mallory Gordon  15:52

Alright guys, we’re casual swinger. Everywhere. I look up at casual you can email us at podcast at casual swing calm. If you would like to find us on social media. We’re on Twitter, YouTube, Facebook and Instagram. And you want to check us out on the dating sites that is Cassidy SLS, double date, nation and sec. Okay, that’ll do it. We’ll be back in just a minute. You’ve been listening to casual swim. And we’re back here listening to casual swinger. And I’m Mickey, and we’re gonna talk. I love boobs. They’re your favorite. They are. I think you’re definitely a boob guy over a nice guy.


Mickey Gordon  16:44

Yeah, probably. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love both ends. I like to see you coming and going. But


Mallory Gordon  16:49

same. I see what I did that Yeah, yeah. Coming. Yeah. Um, so this is going to be a personal journey. So I made me stumble a little bit here. A journey of self discovery when Mallory Gordon swinger? Oh, cue the chimes. Yeah, so I’ve learned so much that I felt I feel compelled to share. And I’m hoping some of this information is beneficial to someone. Anyone out there is thinking about having their bolt ons done. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz it’s really funny. I mean, I learned a lot. And I thought, you know, with all the surgery shows that I love to watch and being in the medical field that I knew everything I needed to extensively. And that’s, that’s not the truth. And I actually learned not only more about the procedures, and all the intricacies and caveats and different flavors, but you know about myself, yeah, you’ve avoided doing this because you’ve always been, you were a nurse when I met you. Yeah. And we never really thinking about it. Like that, that thought in and of itself was a little unnerving to me, because it really identified that I didn’t want to speak out loud how negatively I felt about myself and my body. Because I mean, as a whole, I do feel confident. Everyone has their good days and bad days, I’m not, you know, safe from that, you know, it happens to me too. But overall, I’m not unhappy with myself. But it’s definitely something I’ve always structured my life around. Like, I’ll look at a dress and go, Oh, you know what, though, it’s so like, skinny spaghetti strap. And I wouldn’t feel comfortable without a bra. And it’s just autonomic. But I didn’t realize how much I had been doing those things over time. Like my boobs were actually an issue for me, and I never wanted to talk about it. And I don’t think they’re bad. I like my boobs are fine. There’s really aesthetically nothing wrong with them. But I want to love them. And I had to come to terms with Hey, that’s okay. That doesn’t make you vain or vapid or a shitty human being, it’s okay to feel that way. And it’s actually okay to do things for yourself too. Right? Because it’s an extravagance, right? It is.


Mickey Gordon  18:55

But at the same time, I think there’s people out there that that go and get veneers on their teeth, because it’s something that’s always bothered them or maybe get, you know, their hairline redone or plugs for guys or any number of things that that just kind of renew your maybe just take away that instead of renewing, maybe let me rephrase that take away the obstacles to you putting yourself out there. I think that’s what are things that we’re self conscious about. Do they keep us from putting ourselves out there and


Mallory Gordon  19:21

yeah, sure, maybe a little bit and you know, maybe it’s just one of those things. Like if I’m wearing a top of the bottom, I’m always taking off my boss and I do my top How weird is that? Let me know that I’m exactly the same way but that’s Yeah, beerbelly whatever. But also, I mean, it’s an elective surgery. So that’s always been in the back of my my mind. Anytime you go into general anesthesia, you take on a risk. And so I kind of justified like not even considering it and doing any more research or having further conversations for that reason, but I think it was just excuse like superficial, to keep me from talking about everything else and I was also afraid Like, if I really got serious about it, maybe my partner and maybe you wouldn’t like the idea or like my new boobs if I got them.


Mickey Gordon  20:08

I’m really glad that you told her listeners that I wish your partner Yeah, they were still trying to figure that shit out. And I just would like to point out that I rub your feet. So if I read your I’m gonna love your I know you hate pizza. And you. You love them like once every three years. That’s more than I’d like. disgust. They’re not disgusting, because they’re yours. They’re just feet.


Mallory Gordon  20:35

Yeah, feet aren’t delicious. I get that. That’s okay. I mean, I don’t mind them. I’m indifferent.


Mickey Gordon  20:40

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. There’s a guy out there right now going, I will rub mellusi Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So by all means, guys line up.


Mallory Gordon  20:48

So here I am sitting here with you today, and I have a surgery date. But, you know, building up to this, you and I had a lot of conversations before we decided to go down this road. And you’ve been very, very supportive in it. And what I wanted to do and correct me if I’m wrong here call call me on my shit, is I wanted to have a scout mentality. Because you kept saying, you know, if this is something we want to do, I fully support you. And you know, I think you’re going to end up wanting to do this. And I didn’t want to go into it with that mentality. I wanted to find out the information that made it make an informed decision. I didn’t want to go into this looking for the right answers and just seeking affirmation. So I mean, and for me, I had to purchase pragmatically, I wanted the the high level details, you know, tell me exactly who you are, what you do, why you’re the best at it? What are the risks? Why do you want to do it this way? And is that and then I decide is that what I want? You know, and maybe that’s was a little backwards in some ways. But, you know, my mentality was, you know, I can go into my hairdresser and show her hairstyle and a hair color that I think is amazing. But it doesn’t mean that it’s going to fit my hair length, texture, or anything like that, like they may not be achievable. And that’s kind of how I felt about considering augmentation. I may have an idea in my head, but I don’t know if that executable thing from my perspective,


Mickey Gordon  22:05

I guess I thought that there were facts out there about this, and we would go find out the facts. And what surprised me is how much opinion and how much personal you know, just personal slant comes into this because we talked to so many different doctors and we got so many different answers. Basically, every doctor had a different answer or a different approach or a different impression, or vision of what a attractive breast looked like. Sure, sure is weird. Like, it was like we were subject we had to find the one that agreed with what our vision look like,


Mallory Gordon  22:37

right? And or we’d have funny conversations were like, Well, what do you want to look like? And I’d show them my pictures like, yeah, your boobs will never. Yeah, no, no, not gonna happen. I was like, okay, the why asked me. Point. I know. It was fascinating, though. And there was points where I was a little discouraged and going, you know what, though, at the same time, I’d rather know than not now. And maybe this isn’t for me, I wanted to go in and going, I could walk away from this not getting augmentation. And I was fine with that. I just wanted to fucking know, at that point. And there’s so much information out there. And a lot of it does lead by opinion. And popular opinion. There’s, there’s so much research out there. Because everything like from like implant warranty to which implant type or brand manufacturers associated with capsular contracture which we’ll get into what that is that I learned all about. That’s the demon in the room. The big scary. Yeah. Right. That is the one of the long term effects it you know, you want to consider there’s a potential, you know, con,


Mickey Gordon  23:39

but I think it’s also the way that they throw Fudd, right, because if they have a particular way that they do things, it’s funny, because they both kind of said that the way they do it prevents capsular contracture. But we’ll talk about that as well.


Mallory Gordon  23:52

They prevent it, it’s becomes a single digit percentage of likelihood. Yeah. So I


Mickey Gordon  23:58

found it all to be very subjective and very opinion oriented. And I just didn’t expect that when you came to me about getting consults. I was I really thought we were going to go get concrete finite information. And that’s definitely not what happened. No,


Mallory Gordon  24:10

no, there ended up being more variables. And the conversation is than we anticipated, it gave us a lot to think about. And I mean, everything from, you know, in plant type to placement to 357 years post op, like there’s, there’s a ton of information out there. So if you’ve never considered it before, here’s kind of like the overview of what we learn.


Mickey Gordon  24:34

surgeons are fucking narcissists. We did figure that out because they all acted like they, their approach was the approach. And they were the smartest guy in this room. I mean, every one of them made it sound like every other surgeon was an idiot.


Mallory Gordon  24:46

Yeah, but everyone’s arrogance was different. Yes, it was a different flavor of Eric. Eric and some of it was understated. Some of it was really brazen and gregarious. Some of it was just like, I’m, I’m confident. I’m to the point Read and Write. It’s your decision. Every


Mickey Gordon  25:02

city in Central Florida is mine. Yeah. Okay. Mufasa


Mallory Gordon  25:05

Yeah. I mean, you know, we we saw some really really reputable folks we did. So anyway, so let’s let’s give the listeners just a kind of rundown of the things we learn about breast augmentation before we get into the doctors. Okay. Um, so there’s essentially just two types of implants right now there’s sailing, and there’s silicone. So the sailing are silicone shell that are empty when they’re placed into the breast pocket ready to pockets created for the implant to go into, and then they’re filled with essentially saltwater. So the silicone ones and now from everything I’ve read and the doctors that we’ve talked to are the dummies what they refer to so the silicone is not in a liquid state, it stays together like a gummy bear. If you were to cut a gummy bear in half, it’s still in a solid state your ruptures it doesn’t leak, however fascinating. When you actually feel the implant. It doesn’t feel solid, per se. It feels like there’s texture to it. They’re not as heavy as I anticipated them to be right because when I think jelly silicone I’m thinking of like, no, oh, pervert. I’m thinking my grandmother’s jello mold. Oh, Rose, not your grandmother’s. No, definitely not. Okay. Um, so that was really interesting and come to find out by the way, they don’t use textured implants used to be like all the hype back in the day. And they actually are banned now because of the likelihood of capsular contracture and infection.


Mickey Gordon  26:45

I can see that we actually got to touch a couple of textured ones that one of the doctors console


Mallory Gordon  26:49

Yeah, they’re like they don’t even weird they’re like these are illegal now obviously. If I’m gonna get arrested for holding this Why do you have it you psycho


Mickey Gordon  26:56

you know, fun fact. And I don’t know if I told you this, because I don’t want to scare you during one of our consults. But my mother actually had a ruptured silicone implant from the early days. And it ruptured in in leaked completely away completely flat inside her and she ended up with lupus.


Mallory Gordon  27:11

Yeah, and they say today like that silicone even back then there’s nothing that identifies it as causing lupus, there’s never been a medical. Yeah. So but apparently, the silicone is super safe, it’s super stable. They come with all these warranties, you can even get like an extended warranty for your car and and get this this is a pro tip. The last doctor WE SAW said, Hey, depending on the manufacturer, get the extra insurance, it’s like 100 150 bucks right up front, you just pay for it, you have it forever. And it’s tied to this little credit card that you get you get it’s like it’s not an actual credit card, but it’s a serial number for your Tatas. So that you have that forever, because there’s a certain amount of warranty to them, right and you get this extended one. So if something happens and that capsular contracture happens, the manufacturer will pay for everything on like, all the, you know, redo the new implants, the anesthesia, like it’s all covered. So I found that really,


Mickey Gordon  28:16

I thought that was brilliant, actually that, you know, they offer an extended warranty. And I wonder if they’re gonna call us every couple of days and say, you know, have you thought about the warranty on your breasts? I’ve been trying to reach you about the warranty on your breasts, about your implants extended warranty. You know, the thing I loved about the gummy bears, though, is that if they do rupture for some reason, let’s say you get in a car wreck, they stay they sleep. Yeah, they don’t leak. It just kind of already said that. I just I think that that is really worthwhile. I know you said it is but


Mallory Gordon  28:46

it’s hard to tell if they have ruptured with sailing, you can tell because it slowly deflates Yes, or immediately deflates. In some cases, depending on how traumatic that Lego set


Mickey Gordon  28:54

comes into the every so often maintenance, just having a picture taken into it,


Mallory Gordon  28:58

right and it’s saltwater, essentially. So your body absorbs it, everything will be fine. yada, yada, yada. So sailing By the way, only goes under the muscle. Because of its it’s in a fully liquid state, and you’ll get rippling. Oh, that’s why they get the ripples on the sides, right. So the silicone ones can be put under or over the muscle and we get and we’ll get into that now. So under and over the muscle they all have they both have their own term. So sub muscular literally means under the muscle. So this is the most common method that people are using. So they’re creating a pocket under your pectoral muscle. And the surgeons have two different methods called a dual plane and depending on your size, shape the implants they can cut the muscle and a specific way to place the implant there for the new pocket. Right. And with how they cut the muscles determined by you know those factors plus more that I can’t name right now, but it’s called dual planing. And the reason they started doing under the muscle For back with the sailing that would ripple. And they also figured that they had less likelihood of one infection and two capsular contracture. So, the other method is sub glandular, which means it actually occupies the space between your muscle and your mammary gland, your actual breast tissue. This was probably when when they first started doing breast implants, and they stopped doing them because of the look, the longevity, some of the issues with them, but they’re starting to come back with this methodology, especially with the silicone guppies. Now, they’re not right for every patient, per se. But on me, there are doctors that are using this methodology more than they were 10 years ago.


Mickey Gordon  30:49

And that’s not the one that we thought of for you though, because, I mean, when when you and I were talking about it, we were like, wait a minute, like, what’s going to feel more natural, like under the muscle or under where your boob tissue is? Because if it’s under your boob tissue that’s going to that’s just logically to me and that would be glandular?


Mallory Gordon  31:08

Yes. So that’s why your breast tissue is it’s between your glands, right your Mary Mary glands and Nipa muscle, right? So it does make logical sense that you would put something in that space because that’s where the tissue exists on normal boot, however, now if you’re really petite girl I’m I’m of healthy size and weight. I wouldn’t call myself skinny, and I wouldn’t call myself petite woman I know skinny like think oh, you know, we know plenty of getting girls like Mmm, I was thinking I was gonna name all three of them. I was like, I’m just gonna out a bunch of my friends right now. We’re all these guys are all swingers got a bonus. But exactly like maybe their size zero and five, seven, like they’re, they don’t have a lot of body fat to them. So in some of those cases under the muscle is going to be the best aesthetic for them. And being under the muscle does hold the breast more specifically in that spot. Because you’re essentially think about it as like a rubber band per se, or an exercise ban. Maybe that’s a better way of putting it because they’re wider. And that’s how your pectoral muscles are placed in cut to hold it in place. So and I have some body fat. Yeah, like you can pinch me and get something. Hey, so anyway, but that’s one of the another reasons it that methodology method was adopted. Now I’m finding it interesting that the subglandular not a lot of people do it, it is picking up again interest, but not a lot of people do it. Because they’re afraid of the additional cons, I guess that can come with it right in some of the heat that it’s gotten. Previously from, you know, obviously when augmentation at its inception, they were using it. When I think about 70s and 80s boob jobs, I have the same picture that probably everybody else did. Yeah, I saw a lot of them in my dad’s magazines. Exactly. Exactly. So, so now we have implant type, we have implant placement, and then you have incision decisions. There’s a lot of decisions. I know, dude, dude, so much information here. So in my head, I went into these and I’m like, Oh, I get to decide I’m gonna do under the muscle silicone, and I’m gonna go have them go into the armpit. And guess what wrong on all accounts, you can do that well, you can do the first two. So the armpit one like that goes like from the side over here, the axial incision. You can only do this with sailing implants, because they’re put in unfilled. So they actually take the shell, but the incision on the side under your armpit, slipped the shell into the pocket and then they inflate it like a balloon, right? You can’t they will not place a silicone implant from the side there because there’s just not enough space I guess and it’s not a good position to pull a fully and gorge implant into your body. It makes perfect sense but it’s a nice small incision. It is it’s nice small incision, the next one that’s also it can be hidden pretty well. is inframammary which is under your boob like the boob





Mallory Gordon  34:25

Okay, have you it’s a wider incision to allow for space to put full full employment in a B you can do sailing there do you see lean in any of these incisions but they’re more commonly used for silicone. One strong and under the boob does hide the scarring well, and this day and age with all the additional creams and laser treatments. You know, I would be surprised if there’s much scarring unless you’re prone to like big keloid scars sure say so I thought I thought that was interesting. And and then they have the circular one the area earlier how he’s Say that run around the areola. So the outside the outer ring, have you ever nipple which is a tip, the colored part of the areola so they just do a little circle a little Halo ring the



nipple out with your that’s


Mickey Gordon  35:11

where you lost me when he’s like we take your nipple off.


Mallory Gordon  35:13

Yeah, well, they pull it to the side, because there’s all these nerve endings and whatnot. And they do that when they’re trying to do the breast lift as well. And they’re using it to kind of gather skin in from that place of not an anchor method, which we’ll get into here in a minute. But if they want to pull some skin in to give you a little bit of a left, they’ll do it that way as well. Which I didn’t know that.


Mickey Gordon  35:37

Well, and correct me if I’m wrong, but the doctor that pioneered, you know, the hands free policeman, oh, he’s in the subglandular. that dude’s dead, I guess from Central. Wow. We were here, then we went all the way up there. And then all the way down here. Yeah, do funny. So


Mallory Gordon  35:54

this is actually really important. The hands free technique is a newer technique for breast augmentation. And it’s really cool. It’s reduced infection and capsular contracture rates significantly. And what it is, is they take a silicone implant that’s been sanitized. If you’ve ever watched a baking show or beat yourself, if I say piping bag, do you know what that is? It’s not asking me your listeners. So it’s a paper bag that has a small hole on one end and a large hole on the other one. So they put the sanitize, implant in the tapered end goes into the breast pocket, and they roll it until it squirts out into the pocket. So the surgeon never actually touches it with his hand that doesn’t reach into your breast tissue into your body with his hands to place it. So there’s less interaction and in the surgery world, the less touches you have even fully sanitized with your gloves on with, you know, all the instruments and everything. The less touches you have, the less likelihood infection and foreign objects are to to be placed in there. That’s brilliant, right? No, it’s it’s fascinating. And I encourage anyone who’s interested or has, you know, been thinking about breast augmentation and go watch this. It’s the hands free. It’s the baker method. He also helped to coin the baker scale, which measures capsular contracture. So, a lot of times they recommend breast lifts, and I didn’t know that so I wasn’t even considering the breast lift with implants.


Mickey Gordon  37:32

Well, is it because you want to sell you something to make more money?


Mallory Gordon  37:34

You know what, I hate to say this, but it’s got to be a factor. Yeah. Well, and I believe they are the artists, right. And they are the professional. They are the trusted advisor in their practice and in their field. Right, right. But most people aren’t us. Most people aren’t naked all the time. I know, I know. And I get this but I also don’t think I don’t look at my boobs and see sagging, I look at my boobs and go, I had a baby 17 years ago. I have less body fat than I did in my 20s. And I don’t know an additional 17 years of gravity. It’s probably played a part. But they they don’t look misshapen, my nipples aren’t pointing downward. So when it was recommended at our very, very first console that to consider a breast lift, specifically because of potential deformities down the road, which that set off a red light like siren in my head. To do so. I shrugged it off, I said I would rather forego augmentation than do a breast lift the breast lift photos and research I’d done at that point, were all the anchor ones. So an anchor breast lift means not only do they cut around the arrow oriola and try to gather us excess in there. But they draw it’s almost like an upside down tee, where they go from the bottom of areola to the bottom of your boob fold and gather skin in there as well. And like you said, we’re naked a lot. And we’re naked in front of the public. And for me, that was just that was a deal breaker. I I’m just I don’t want the scarring. Yeah, you know, and at that point, if I can’t get what I want, the way I want it, it’s okay. No, no love loss. I’m just gonna move on, and that’s fine with me. And his reasoning was gj for me. Well, that’s one of it. Well, we learned about these deformities, which the third doctor actually confirmed. There’s something called a waterfall or a Snoopy deformity. This happens when a woman gets breast implants under the muscle with no breast lift, and maybe the breast lift was needed or will be needed down the road. So the ticket just slides off the employee kind of kind of, or if the implants weren’t, quote unquote, large enough, some people try to correct it by extra large implants so that the skin stretches so far that it doesn’t sag for a very, very long time, if at all. So it looks like a Snoopy nose, essentially, your nipple and the skin at the tip of your boob. Looks like it’s falling off the boob, like, melting picture that like the tip of your boob is kind of melting. So if Michael Jackson had tits that would have AV maybe Yeah, they call it a waterfall, Snoopy deformity over time and only Beaver, they can only be corrected through left. And that one usually requires the anchor method. And you know what? I got to thinking about it when we got back. And I was like, you know, I’m not 40 yet. And if I got my boobs down, and in 20 years, I want him done. Maybe I won’t care about having that scar. I do today. And I feel comfortable in that decision. Because I wanted to backtrack, part of me wanting to backtrack, I’m like, but how much do I want this? Am I willing to sacrifice? What I already said I didn’t want to still do it. Does that make sense? Okay, cuz I thought it was a little crazy. But I thought it was insane. Because I started negotiating with that. And like, No, no, no, I made this decision. I need to stick with it.


Mickey Gordon  41:21

Yeah. And I think you’ve made good decisions about this. Because I if you guys haven’t picked this up yet, there’s a lot of data out there in the data is different depending what doctor you talk to you. So you really should do your own research. But I what I think we should probably cover here before we get too far into this is the one big one, which is capsular contraction. Yeah, I know. You’re talked about


Mallory Gordon  41:42

Yeah, and I had no idea what it was. And I’ve said it like 17 times already. So this is definitely the biggest consideration I’ve personally had in the decisions I’m making about my boob job. So when you have surgery, and there’s a foreign body, put into your body, it’s natural, that your body recognizes this and goes, Hey, that’s foreign. So it forms a protective capsule around it. And this tissue capsule is usually soft, you know, maybe slightly firm. Usually not noticeable. And it helps to keep, in this case, the implant in place. So you want that pocket to to heal, and you want your body to do what it’s supposed to do, right? create this little, little capsule around it. Now, in capsular contracture, what happens is that layer, that capsule becomes harden, and it starts to squeeze the input, so much so that it’s it’s tighten, and it moves it, it can move it upward to the side. And it can look stress and rippled because of it. And there’s no identifying markers that say if you’re of a certain age, or have a certain ethnicity, or if you had a certain methodology, with the exception of submuscular and subglandular. That’s the only differentiator that they have been able to point it or if you get keloid scars, with nothing says you’re more or less likely to experience this. The only one is if you get subglandular implants that you go from a single to a double digit percentage. And it’s kind of a sliding scale, that skill does depend on from doctor to doctor,


Mickey Gordon  43:32

but by double digits, you mean like 10 to 12%


Mallory Gordon  43:35

not average. So on, on average, the research that I’ve been able to do 10 to 1210 to 15%. On the high end, just we did have a doctor did have a doctor’s House of 60% likelihood with that placement that it could experience. I you know, I couldn’t find the data, he seemed well informed. I’ve messaged them, I haven’t heard back, because I wanted to find out where that 60% number came from. Because that that would have definitely been another factor. And


Mickey Gordon  44:03

I think if it’s really 60%, us wouldn’t do this. I mean, see,


Mallory Gordon  44:06

and that’s kind of where I was at. Looking into doctors across the country. rake is travel surgery was a thing there for a minute sure what their rates were for that kind of stuff. And I’m just fucking flat out asked if it was blunt dialogue, I just want an asset. Hey, I hear you do this. What is your cc rate? You know, because if it’s bad if 60% of your patients are experiencing this, I don’t think you’d be in business. You think they’ll tell you they’re gonna be honest about it. Yeah, that’s the other question. I mean, if if, well, that’s a good point. But do you think they’d be in practice? I


Mickey Gordon  44:45

just think maybe they’d have a bad Google review or something. Yeah, that’s true. Only fans reviews on babies. That’s it. That’s


Mallory Gordon  44:53

an excellent point. You know, I guess you’re right. But I mean, I had some come back with you know, 7% 12% represent to present like, you know, some people did answer me. But you’re right, that data could be totally skewed. So what direction are you going? So as we sit here today, this is the direction I’m going, I found a wonderful doctor. We’re gonna do subglandular. I know we just talked about it, and it sounds crazy, but I think it’s going to be the best option for my body, the results I want, I think they’re going to look and feel the natural that I see and want. And I think that they’re going to age with me, if that makes sense. Like, it’s gonna fill up the volume, but still, you know, kind of look like they’re my boobs and not a boob job, if that makes sense. So I’m really excited about it, I’m gonna have the incision under the boob, the infirmier Mary, which is fine with me. And it’s gonna take some additional africare. So when you have some glandular implants, you typically want to wear the bra, the compression bra that give you with on the side pads, sometimes we don’t, I don’t know if I’ll need them or not. So after surgery for additional few weeks, just to make sure that that breast pocket because you don’t have the muscle holding it there, is is formed and is positioned correctly. So it does take a little more cognition postoperatively


Mickey Gordon  46:20

Yeah, the weird part for me was this is the first time that I’ve ever watched other guys play with your tits. And it wasn’t sexy. Oh, my


Mallory Gordon  46:26

gosh, it was the best part. So I have like the details of every appointment lined out. And I won’t get into the nitty gritty of it. But everyone’s methodology for trying to show you how you’d look with boobs was different. So the first doctor who was the most recognized and well reviewed was like a potato. So we did not hit it off whatsoever. And but I believe him that he’s a master at what he does, but he only does one thing. He does augmentation with lift under the muscle period. Yep, it was almost a non negotiable for him, because that is the results that he is comfortable with. He gets praised for it. And that his his his clientele type. And that wasn’t for me. He does a live for everybody. Yes, he doesn’t live for everybody. And I’m like, awesome. I’m probably not your girl. But he was probably an amazing doctor. But in the office, they give me this like, it looks like an old sports bra. And he put the implants in Oh, right. And I’m standing there. And that’s only what 375 cc, they were



very big. They weren’t big.


Mallory Gordon  47:30

And I looked like fucking Dolly Parton. I tried to move around. I know, because they’re sitting on top of my boobs. And I’m like, God, this is just the silliest thing ever. I’m not. No one’s gonna fucking know what they look like using this. And I looked at them. I was like this is that they’re like, Oh, yeah, yeah, that’s exactly how the look, I was like, I think you’re full of shit.


Mickey Gordon  47:50

Well, and I think what we realized is almost everyone that goes in for a breast augmentation is concerned about what they look like in their clothes that they look like in a swimsuit. Yes.


Mallory Gordon  47:59

And especially first one I don’t even know if we mentioned to him. But like, they couldn’t fathom that that’s a factor. Like I’m naked in front of people in public. I this is important to me. I want to look good naked. And they’re like, well, the screens not that bad. I told him. Maybe, I don’t know. Maybe that would have made more sense to them. We’re like, we’re swingers and we also throw parties naked. And they’re like, Oh, shit.


Mickey Gordon  48:24

Well, in a second doctor, the Second Doctor, I brought that up. I was like, Look, this is what we do. This is who we are. And to a certain extent, their tune changed a little bit. We know


Mallory Gordon  48:34

what the doctor we actually that I actually chose. He was totally cool. clicked made sense didn’t have any weird questions for us, was like I understand completely. And in fact, you are not a lift candidate. I would ask you not to do that even if you don’t have surgery with me. And here is why you don’t need it. the fold of your boob where these sagging and I use quotation marks is not actual satins called pseudo autosys. Your nipple does not exceed the fold under your boob. So that is one of the markers of needing a breast lift is if your nipple falls below your breast fold due to loss of volume. If your nipple is pointing south of the equator, let’s talk about then you’ll need a left and mine don’t do either of those. So that was that was a little bit refreshing. And it was you know I did my research fact checked him and that seems to be a consensus per se. But that that is what it is. But even with the extra step we booked a second appoint with him he is if you want to see the imaging of what it could look like with the different implant sizes. We can do that as well.


Mickey Gordon  49:51

That was cool. That was straight out of Weird Science.


Mallory Gordon  49:53

Yeah, that was amazing. So not only did they have these implants that were shaped like actual breast and tapered to show you how They would sit in the bra and in your breast pocket, so you had a better idea of what they would look like post op, he had this vector machine where you stand there and it looks like a tanning bed like a stand up tanning bed. And it gets you from all different angles and then it shows you the shape and and the sizes of the different CCS. And hey, newsflash tits aren’t symmetrical. I’m going to need like a few cc’s more in one versus the other. So you just I don’t know why perfect pleasure words. Yeah, right. Just Yeah. And he was so like, precise with it. And he’s like, you know, I’ll have a couple different ones in there. Because I’m thinking, right now, this size is going to be for you. But you know, that five to 10 cc’s could make all the difference. So I want to get you, you know, as symmetrical as possible, and the fact that that was important to him, and he highlighted and talked about it for at least five minutes. That guy loves kids. He does. He even told us that the whole reason he’s a plastic surgeon was because he’d never got laid in high school. And he just wanted to show everyone. You get the last laugh. Yeah, yes. I play with kids all day. No, fuck you. Yeah, right. And then the third doctor, their doctor was actually wonderful. He’s kind of the area’s, well, self proclaimed, you look like he did. But he’s the fixer. He gets a lot of patients that come in from botched surgeries, facial breast augmentation, you name it. And he said he would do my surgery. He only does under the muscle. And I’m a great candidate for subglandular.


Mickey Gordon  51:28

Yeah, I was actually refreshing to hear him. It was really good for this.


Mallory Gordon  51:32

Yeah. But I don’t do it. And he goes, Yeah, and you’re, it’s gonna be hard to find, you know, anyone around here? Who does it? I was like, actually, we did it. Well, and so I’m very lucky that if I hadn’t had a conversation with a friend of mine who had hers done, and knew that was an option, I probably wouldn’t have found this doctor because that that he was a recommendation from someone else. She’s been on the show. She’s been on the show, and I’m not gonna call her out. Because I didn’t ask your call. So. But yeah, so, um, I get boobs in August, guys. Yeah.


Mickey Gordon  52:05

Some new Hooters, bitch. And I say how big are you going out of curiosity. So


Mallory Gordon  52:10

right now, I like I say I’m a I’m a C, but I’m probably a large B’s small C at best. So originally, a D, a DS kind of want to where I wanted to be, but we’re talking and I may end up in the low Double D and here’s why. The circumference like the area of my boob is a little wider. So we may need a wider implant, that we’ll need a few more cc’s in there to get the profile that I want. So it may end up being an actual Double D but they won’t look audacious on my frame.


Mickey Gordon  52:48

So no volleyball titties from


Mallory Gordon  52:50

Oh, volleyballs No, no, no. Oh, yeah, those are those are no, they just slip. I like that natural. What do they call it? slope? I want a natural slope to them.


Mickey Gordon  53:00

I think it’s gonna be fantastic. I’m excited. I love your titties no matter how you doing?


Mallory Gordon  53:04

I’m excited and I’d be lying if I say it wasn’t nervous. It’s still surgery. You know, I still hesitant it’s you know, it’s an investment. It’s not cheap. This is something you know we’ve saved for. Yeah, you know? And I really hope they look amazing. I hope they feel amazing. I you hold my boobs when we go to bed pretty much love my left city so much. I do. That is where your right hand lives. It’s the party did every night. And I’m not gonna lie. I’m a little concerned how you’re gonna react to the new volume and texture.


Mickey Gordon  53:37

I have big hands. I know you have bank. So what are you gonna do for three weeks when you can’t? I’m gonna hold my own boob. It’s gonna be very weird. I’m just gonna lay there holding my right breast. Can I hold them? No, we’ve entered the actual Yeah, I wouldn’t be the big spoon, though. Yeah, it’s not okay. You climbed spider monkey? I do. Okay, it’s adorable. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so I know that there are a couple of myths about this that we want to throw out there before we come back with toy box.


Mallory Gordon  54:10

Yeah. So in my reading, I’m going to try to figure out the research behind all of this stuff that I had questions about. One of the most frequently asked questions is can I still breastfeed? And how I wouldn’t have thought about that. I’m not a woman of childbearing age. At this point. I’m not thinking about having kids, but it’s common and yeah, you can because they don’t take out your glands and it doesn’t sit in front of your glands. So breastfeeding is a non issue. It does create an OB obfuscate mammograms, especially with a silicone side, and especially if they’re subglandular. You’re definitely going to want to pay close attention and go frequently and get not the titty smasher the other mammogram styles machine.



Yeah. Cake mash any of you out there that are having kids after 30 send your hate mail to Mallory. Yeah. Well, no, I had my kids young. I was I was a baby when I had my babies anymore bitch you I was so young. Yeah, too young.


Mickey Gordon  55:09

That’s right. Be careful newsmaker babies, okay? Babies Fuck off. Don’t even Alright, what about this you have to haven’t like changed your service or like


Mallory Gordon  55:20

not gag. So I was looking at like what the residual Cost of Ownership would be because that’s where vibrates long term TC. So it’s it’s fake, you do not have to get them swapped out every seven to 10 years, most implants, especially silicone, have a lifetime guarantee a minimum of 25 to 30 on the implant just of itself, there’s a good chance that out the implant is going to outlive me. In some cases, I still play with it. Now, you still want to go get your mammograms and whatnot. But it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to get them swapped out. You know, unless you want to change something. There’s really not a need for it. So that’s a fallacy. logical fallacy, and the last one was No, they’re not life saving floatation devices. Thank you very much Mickey Gordon.


Mickey Gordon  56:06

I did ask the doctor that Yeah, well, they keep her alive if she ever goes out of the notion what was great is they went into like the density of silicone versus water and why they don’t float. They answered me scientists.


Mallory Gordon  56:16

I was like, he I can’t even you entertain him now we’re really in for it. It was great. Gonna be a whole bitnet a great


Mickey Gordon  56:24

conversation about you know, personal floatation devices. Yeah, that was fantastic. All right, man. It’s been an incredible conversation about the massive amount of information you learned about Tim. I know guys this was an in sorry heavy episode today for you guys to death because I’ll show you my tits. I’m really sorry. Well, that’s the last thing we got to answer. I know people get to get to see these. But yes,


Mallory Gordon  56:45

yes, we’re gonna do before and afters are sure and during during that I’m gonna document this. I want this to be part of Season Four. If our listeners will allow it. This is a personal journey. I want to put it out there. how I’m feeling physically, mentally, emotionally. Yeah,


Mickey Gordon  57:00

you heard it here, folks. We’re all coming on Mallory’s tits. Actually, that sounds really or maybe just a tip journey. Yeah. Come on. Wait, it’s liquor? Absolutely. You want to tell everybody where to find us and we’ll come back with the toybox segment on the Wi Fi Nova.


Mallory Gordon  57:16

awesome guys. We’re casual swinger everywhere. You can find us on Twitter Facebook, YouTube and Instagram. Yeah, that’s the other one. We have a website casual swing calm Feel free to shoot us a message podcast at casual swing calm and if you want to check out our dating profiles you can find us at W nation SLS SCC and Cassidy Alright, and


Mickey Gordon  57:35

that one more thing if you guys haven’t had a chance to go leave us a review on iTunes. We haven’t had one in like six months I don’t think any


Mallory Gordon  57:41

I mean anymore. Let me be more specific if you want to say something nice.



Guy dunes



if you don’t have something nice please email Mickey at casual swinger calm now if you have something mean to say go say to Jay,


Mallory Gordon  57:55

of average swing. No, that’s mean Jason. Nice guy.


Mickey Gordon  57:59

We love j All right. We’ll be back in a hot second with toybox you’ve been listening to casuals ringer. Okay, everybody, we’re back at the season premiere of Season Four. We’re talking titties. There’s a lot of fun. But now we’re going to talk about Mallory’s box by Gina what’s in your box. Mel? Hold on. Let me reach out. Sound like Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was gross. I mean Womp womp. Oh, no, but


Mallory Gordon  58:44

in my books this week is the we vibed over to best, best thing about being married to you and owning this extra research is the wonderful things I get to experiment with.


Mickey Gordon  58:55

You mean I just buy random toys and throw them on the bed and go Hey, I got you something. I’m very happy to do a lot of that off service girl. Well, here’s what happened right So way back in the day. When you and I first got together we went to some random sex toy store and I bought you a rabbit because you said you liked rabbits.


Mallory Gordon  59:10

No, I didn’t know I didn’t tell you about me that first one and then I broke it with my vagina


Mickey Gordon  59:14

did break it because they’re only good for 100,000 miles but you know you loved that damn rabbit. So you love rabbits. I misspoke I guess you like rabbits after that. And but you haven’t had a rabbit in the longest time?


Mallory Gordon  59:26

I yeah, I guess. I don’t know. I needed a new flavor kind of maybe my palate changes just like


Mickey Gordon  59:32

well rabbit kind of it started out as a doc Johnson product that was patented. It had the spinning beads and clitoral stimulator that looked like a bunny, which is why they called it a rabbit and then the head that kind of rotated around. And I’m making these hand gestures like you can see me and you can’t, but the rabbit actually became a style of toy. Yes, that both stimulates you internally and externally at the same time. Yes. So tell us about the Nova two and what you like about it now that they know it’s a rabbit style. Boy


Mallory Gordon  1:00:00

Yeah, it is a rabbit style toy and it kind of reminds me of Florida of like one half of a Florida Lee. Because it’s the we vibe. It’s it’s curved. So you have the curved edge that vibrates, that sticks out that’s the clitoral stimulator and then facing it and curving inward towards it. But longer is the insertable portion that’s actually flexible and posable.


Mickey Gordon  1:00:21

Oh, wow. So kind of it could be a G spot simulator, if you want it.


Mallory Gordon  1:00:24

Yes, it can be, um, they both independently operate. As far as vibration goes, you can have both at the same time, or do one or the other. Which is great, because there are some rabbit toys out there that do both at the same speed. So if it’s you only have one option up or down faster, slow or Yeah, but we’re a mode at some point. And for me, I don’t like that. I don’t necessarily want the internal to vibrate as hard as the external. Because I’m not really a big internal vibration girl maybe just a little bit if I’m in the mood for it. But definitely not as much as I like the vibration and intensity on my clit Okay, so your clit and your G spot never agree. I know they’re they like one likes Italian food. The other one likes Chinese food. Like Yeah, they’re they’ve different palettes. But what I love about this, so it’s posable it’s flexible, so it’s really fucking comfortable. And that clitoral stimulation area, it’s curved, but flexible. But it gives you a nice amount of pressure. So if you are like inserting it right, and you’re kind of using it like adulto you know, and you’re going in and out in and out. And now it’s a wonderful sensation between the pressure and the vibrations to do so the first time I used it. I did not use the insert doubles. Motor for the vibration. I came in like five minutes not even like in that’s a little rare because when I’m getting used to a toy, I’m just trying to figure out click around I didn’t mean to get off that fast. I felt so good. A good note off. You win. Yeah. Yeah. So that one’s kind of a staple. And it’s it’s a really wonderful toy for me. It’s got to be durable. I tend to drop shit. And especially when I’m coming I’m usually in the edge of the bed. Thank God it’s carpeted, but we still have cement floors. So sometimes I break shit. Or in the bathroom with a tile floor break shit in there to Washington. Yeah, but I do like to use some of my toys in the shower or in the bathtub. Okay, this one’s waterproof. So waterproof submersible even so Exactly. I can run myself a bath and use it in there if I wanted to hot dog keen love that. But also has an app, which most of the we’ve I’ve stuffed does. We connect so we connect so you can have the app I can have the app and give you access to it. And using music remotely if I if I wanted to let you know I can buzz your lady bits from a distance for us. I don’t see that way. Oh, well, because I’m like, Oh, no, too fast. Too fast. He was like he. Yeah. Are we going off in my drawer randomly? Anyways, um, but yeah, it’s it’s just a really, really awesome product. And it’s Scott, what’s the charge on it? Oh, 120 minutes. Really continuous use


Mickey Gordon  1:03:10

two hours of continuing you got off for five minutes. So that is a lot of uses.


Mallory Gordon  1:03:13

Yeah. I guess if you’re multi-orgasmic or don’t remember charger toys a lot. That’s totally fine. It’s also got a travel lock. It’s not gonna vibrate in your carry on.


Mickey Gordon  1:03:23

And it is 100% silicone body safe toy? Yes. Which is a big deal. If you know anything about us it casual toys. If we find out something’s not body safe, we get rid of it.


Mallory Gordon  1:03:34

Yeah, and a lot like how my why I love my woman. Well, one of the reasons I live by a womanizer, the ergonomic positioning. If I want to go for a marathon masturbation session, it’s got to be comfortable for me to hold. Love the magic wand but it’s that’s does not fall into that category. womanizer does a great job. We vibe does a great job. And I have to say they went full boat with the ergonomic feature on that. Yeah, it almost looks a little funny. So we’re gonna it does it. It looks it doesn’t look like your standard rabbit style toy. No. But it is super comfortable to hold super comfortable to play with. I’ve done it on my side, my belly and on my back.


Mickey Gordon  1:04:16

Well, this is I believe that’s the fourth rabbit style toy that I’ve brought you. And it’s the only one that made the rotation. I


Mallory Gordon  1:04:25

was gonna say it’s the only one that I’ve used more than once or twice.


Mickey Gordon  1:04:28

Yeah, yeah, it was the dorsal. You didn’t really care for the fun factor you didn’t care for


Mallory Gordon  1:04:32

you know what? The dorsal is a great quality item. It didn’t didn’t fit my vagina like it just doesn’t fit the distance between where my vagina is in my clip. It just didn’t work out and to tilt it in that way was uncomfortable for me. It totally missed my G spot like, it just didn’t fit my body. Yeah, yeah.


Mickey Gordon  1:04:52

Which what that what that boils down to here folks is that if we don’t like it, we just don’t talk about it. And we play with lots of toys here on casual swing. We get them we bring him into the bedroom we try them out. And if life It doesn’t blow us away, we just don’t tell you about it. Yeah, it’s not we’re gonna be negative about anybody we’re not gonna throw it under the bus was a huge piece of shit. We just tell you what’s great and the we vibe Nova to that is a great toy.


Mallory Gordon  1:05:17

It is a fantastic toy. And I was actually concerned because I like, um, I don’t want to call him beefy, but like at least average size male. Like dildos like like the big penis. I like at least an average penis. Like, I don’t use the skinny little pillows when I masturbate. I like you know, average to, you know, large. And because of the size of the wave. I’m one I was like, Oh, I don’t know if that’s gonna. how that’s gonna work. Because it’s seems kind of thin. It’s got a it tapers and it looks kind of thin. It was actually perfect. Wow. Yeah. So they knew your vajayjay Actually, I was gonna say there’s got to be something with that tapered design where it’s more bulbous in the middle that they know more than I do about my vagina.


Mickey Gordon  1:06:06

I’m guessing there was probably some you know, sample testing done there and I focus crap fucking job. Well, the problem is, you think about the eight of the 10 things you stick in your vagina aren’t awesome. Right? So like it may not be too much fun to be a tester.


Mallory Gordon  1:06:21

Can you imagine that dinner conversation you would have Hey, honey, how was your day? What did you stick in your vagina? Well do your a corncob covered in latex. Apparently we’re going to Iowa.


Mickey Gordon  1:06:32

Oh my gosh. Well, we have talked about a lot of shit here today guys. And yes, this was an information heavy episode where everything from boobs, Teddy’s Hooters all the way down to the we vibe. In the toy box segment. This was Mallory’s coming out party,


Mallory Gordon  1:06:46

guys. Thanks for sticking it out with me. I love you.


Mickey Gordon  1:06:49

Thanks for sticking in. Enter guys. No, that’s okay. Just me. I am a dork. But since we just told you guys how to find it. We’re not going to bother you anymore with that sort of thing you want to just say bye to everybody see in two weeks. Bye, everybody. See you in two weeks. Love you. Alright, guys, we’ll be back in a couple of weeks or more. Season Four. We’re gonna do everything we can to be on time for all 22 episodes. Season Four. Are they here first? Well, you hear it a lot. Listen, you’re telling the truth. Folks, this has been a blast. We’ll see you next time listening