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The Great Alabaster Scrotum
Thu, 9/2 10:04AM • 1:30:17
people, lifestyle, fucking, swinger, casual, conversation, friends, listening, sex, feel, talk, lifetime membership, mickey, questions, life, bit, valerie, sit, couple, alabaster
The Alabaster Scrotum, Mickey Gordon, Mallory Gordon
Mallory Gordon 00:02
You’re listening to the casual swinger podcast as your hosts, we need to warn you that the material you’re about to hear may be sexual or explicit in nature. This podcast is intended for an adult audience. Now we don’t expect you to act like adults. What’s the fun in that?
Mickey Gordon 00:16
We’re a married couple living in Florida with over 13 years of experience in the lifestyle and we take almost nothing seriously. Casual swingers a variety show meaning we’ll cover everything from music to events, travel, and even the occasional hilarious screw up. Our show is about entertainment. We’re not licensed professionals had anything and our stories, commentary and guidance should not be confused with the opinions of a licensed professional.
Mallory Gordon 00:41
Now that you know, let’s stick those pants off and get comfy.
Mickey Gordon 00:50
everybody welcome back to casual swing, or I’m assuming you’re coming back. This is Episode Three of season three. My name is Mickey. I’m your co host
Mallory Gordon 00:57
and I’m Mallory. I’m your co host.
Mickey Gordon 00:59
So who’s the host? We both are Is it the casual dog because a dog can be though
Mallory Gordon 01:04
the casual dogs
Mickey Gordon 01:06
well the other two are just not nearly as purse. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 01:08
they’re not they’re not invested. I think they respect our lifestyle but they want nothing to do with that. I think the boys mark here.
Mickey Gordon 01:14
I think he’s just desperate for attention
Mallory Gordon 01:15
is a little Grendel’s. nefler right. He’s
Mickey Gordon 01:18
He’s our token single male. Yes. That’s right. So hey, this episode is the alabaster scrotum. Thank god what a great name.
Mallory Gordon 01:29
You to crack me up. I don’t even know what to say about that. People are gonna be so confused. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 01:37
it was a little weird. But so this episode is all about questions on the lifestyle from a terminally lifestyle his fuck friend of mine that I’ve been friends with for 20 years. And he’s like, I want to come on your show and ask you questions. And we’re like, bucket Come on over.
Mallory Gordon 01:52
Yeah, actually started because he came down to visit. Um, we’re we’re pretty much family at this point. Our kids, his kids are friends. And he’s the first person we really got to see. quarantine. So it was it was really great. And it came up in conversation. He was asking how everything was going and I love We love the idea. So I’m really glad he did it. I think it was a little nervous.
Mickey Gordon 02:14
I think it’s kind of a testament to how casual swinger has bled over into our regular lives because I don’t think there’s anyone in our personal lives that doesn’t know about the show. And a lot of them listen to the show. And it’s the the alabaster scrotum who I can’t even say it without laughing.
Mallory Gordon 02:31
called Have you gone Cornelius? Because he’s got a beard now, the quarantine beard.
Mickey Gordon 02:37
And he’s bald is shit.
Mallory Gordon 02:39
Kind of exactly what he looks like.
Mickey Gordon 02:41
He does look like you can’t coordinate please. But, you know, yeah, let’s just kind of cover where we’re at here. This is the need in for for a great episode with the alabaster scrotum and we think you guys are gonna love him. And there’s a lot of fun
Mallory Gordon 02:52
it was and I think it gives a unique perspective, I think we wanted to do something like that with someone who’s not in the lifestyle so that we can kind of have this dialogue and normalize it and just get it out there because there’s a lot of curiosities and assumptions that happen and all of them are positive. Right?
Mickey Gordon 03:08
No, definitely not. And I think he had a pretty positive view for him because he’s known me as long as he has. And we’ve had many conversations, you know, covering large territories like we did together if you really start to have conversations that are a little deeper in the car.
Mallory Gordon 03:22
Yes, yeah. And I love that we were able to do it together because I always I always feel when there’s quote unquote outsiders like that, you know, that have that traditional monogamous relationship that it’s a double standard, like the guy gets a high five for it. And the girls whore? Yeah, she’s stupid for following along.
Mickey Gordon 03:40
What’s our neighbor? I mean?
Mallory Gordon 03:43
Yeah, the barbecues are a little uncomfortable at times, but whatever. Like he’s a hero. The guy’s
Mickey Gordon 03:47
Mallory Gordon 03:48
The guys talk to me.
Mickey Gordon 03:50
Yeah, the guys getting that’s funny shit. So, you know, these last two episodes we did in season three, were all keto themed, yes. How do you think they were received? What kind of feedback have you got
Mallory Gordon 04:01
actually got a lot of really positive feedback because especially for the repeat offenders, you know, everyone’s really anxious to go back but you know, not everyone’s ready, right? Uh, you know, you got to take your personal accountability into play there. And I think the resort’s done a really great job preparing it to the best of their ability going above and beyond to make people feel safe going. I think the video the welcome home video, I went back and watched it two more times just this week, because it makes my heart happy. It see this I
Mickey Gordon 04:34
was really happy to making that video was so much fun to get people to do it. And they thought it was so silly. And it’s on our YouTube channel. For those of you that don’t know, that’s youtube.com slash c slash casual swinger podcast. That’s our YouTube channel. And we did put a video up there that was just kind of a welcome home from some of the employees.
Mallory Gordon 04:51
Yeah, and you did a great job like doing videos on a daily basis to give them updates. And granted since you’ve done those, some things have changed right in the process. So it’s important people, you know, for people to have the patience know where to look for it for updates
Mickey Gordon 05:01
yeah things change fast down there and they have been but we’re gonna get away from talking about keto for a bit because you know we did back to back episodes which is unusual for us. But before we do that we have a trip coming up in November and yeah
Mallory Gordon 05:12
have rooms yes our trips ago. Yes, we have rooms for that first week in November now all the 14 Yes. And they’re all all types right? Yes, the garden side or the premium rooms on the nude side. So I think we have one Ocean View premium nude.
Mickey Gordon 05:29
But we everything else. We have at least two rooms, every other every other class but we’re sharing that week with the dirty pervs.
Mallory Gordon 05:36
It’s gonna be wild, it
Mickey Gordon 05:37
is going to be fucking bananas.
Mallory Gordon 05:38
I think it’s going to be a comparison when the bliss cruise came in that pool party we had on Friday, but I think that’s what’s going to happen all week long.
Mickey Gordon 05:46
Yeah, so we’re talking about, you know, 150 couples between the two of us almost 200 couples, and that’s after COVID because we had sold out 150 rooms ourselves as the rat race. And then you know, we had to dial back with people, you know, just moving their trips the next year. Sure. I
Mallory Gordon 06:01
mean, I get it. Yeah, a lot of different circumstances. So if you’ve canceled your trip this year, that was earlier on or maybe you should have been the upcoming soon and you want to do something come November let us know.
Mickey Gordon 06:11
Yeah. If you want to party with casual swinger, that’s us. That’s that pretty girl right there. My goofy ass. Good. Just let us know or head out to Rachel’s rascals. That’s our AC HALSRASZALS are Rachel’s rascals.com.
Mallory Gordon 06:26
Next time you do it, you need pompoms, right.
Mickey Gordon 06:31
All right. That’s the last thing I need is pompoms. You know how that worked out last night. But you know, just check it out. Go to Rachel’s wrestles calm and reach out to my friend Jim and he will get you situated. Yeah, we’re
Mallory Gordon 06:41
planning theme nights and games and
Mickey Gordon 06:43
Disney’s gonna be fun.
Mallory Gordon 06:45
Oh my gosh, don’t give it away. No one knows yet. No one knows what the themes are.
Mickey Gordon 06:49
Oh, what’s the purpose have already told everybody?
Mallory Gordon 06:52
Okay, well, okay. Yeah, we have a few surprises and we do have some surprise he likes to keep it under our hat.
Mickey Gordon 06:57
Is it under your hands that where you keep things yeah, you know keeping your prison wallet. No.
Mallory Gordon 07:03
What about your coin purse?
Mickey Gordon 07:05
complete my coin purse out of this the dog bit me there? Did it bit me in the sack last night? It was awful.
Mallory Gordon 07:13
Well get your dick out of his mouth.
Mickey Gordon 07:17
I was just walking by and he just jumped up and Nami right in the sack.
Mallory Gordon 07:20
He is his crotch height so we do not abuse our animals. There’s no PhD ality that happens in this house. So it was
Mickey Gordon 07:28
right. It was the furthest thing from it. My dick turned into an any. This is terrible.
Mallory Gordon 07:32
He doesn’t have some sore hands. He was trying to get your attention.
Mickey Gordon 07:35
Well, we got it. He’s smart. He absolutely had my attention. So let’s talk about double detonation for a minute. And this is not an ad guys who don’t tune out or fast forward. You know, we use a lot of sites as casual swinger, we use STC we use SLS we use Cassidy, we use double detonation. We’re on a lot of places, because people are in a lot of places, right? And we try to be everywhere. I mean, we have a snapchat we have a kick we have a Facebook, we have I mean, we were all over the goddamn place, including Twitter, which is actually where we are the most. But Doubleday nation. We love that site. I mean, that is I mean, they don’t pay us. Nobody does. We don’t take anybody because our authenticity means everything to us. And so we don’t take money. We love something. There’s a reason for it. Yes. And so I figured we talk about ddn for a minute, because we’re going to do something for them because they’re our friends. Yeah, I’m excited. And but before we do that, I wonder what’s your favorite thing about ddn
Mallory Gordon 08:30
that Dave and Andy are really hot.
Mickey Gordon 08:34
You’re not helping,
Mallory Gordon 08:34
and they’re really nice. And they’ve done a great job. Now they’re, they’re ahead of the curve in so many ways when it comes to standing up this kind of tool, right?
Mickey Gordon 08:46
Yeah, wait to see what they’ve got coming. It’s It’s It’s otherworldly. Cool.
Mallory Gordon 08:50
I know, there’s a surprise in the works. And I’m, I’m I can’t wait.
Mickey Gordon 08:53
There is. So here’s what we decided to do. We know they have this big surprise coming. We know the lifestyle is going to go nuts for it, because there’s nothing like it in the lifestyle right now. And I think it’s gonna be so hot, but they have lifetime memberships for sale. And basically this thing that’s coming and, or rather begins the day that life’s lifetime memberships stop being on sale.
Mallory Gordon 09:15
Mickey Gordon 09:15
So here’s what we decided to do because they’re our friends. And because we love them. Casual toys, calm, which is our little company is going to donate a womanizer premium, yay, to double date, nation. And they’re going to give away a womanizer premium. That’s a $200 sex toy, which is more expensive than the lifetime membership is Wow. So a you somebody is going to get a womanizer premium. As long as you sign up for a lifetime membership on double date nation between now and October 1.
Mallory Gordon 09:45
Now that goes into like a raffle pool, right? Yes. Like if they buy a membership. They use our code. Yes. And then everyone who’s used that code to buy the membership gets a chance to win. So if five of you sign up it’s pretty good chances, right? That’s why one out of five.
Mickey Gordon 10:00
And if you go to casual Springer calm and go to our partners page, you can find the link to W nation use our link go to dominate nation, you will get three months free. So you get three months free right out of the box. And then after three months free, you go to your lifetime membership. Now if you sign up for a lifetime membership for in the next 60 days. So basically in August or September, sign up for that lifetime membership. You go in the drawing for a free womanizer premium courtesy of casual toys calm simply for the fact that we love those guys love the platform, they created a My favorite thing about ddn is that when you go looking for a date on there, you can search for Double D.
Mallory Gordon 10:37
Yeah, and I love that that’s the tool that you can select or the option you can select saying, Hey, no expectations. I
Mickey Gordon 10:45
just want to hang out with people and see what happens. Yes. And I’d like it. Isn’t that kind of all of us? I mean, most people don’t go on a date going. I need to bang?
Mallory Gordon 10:52
Well, no, some people do. But it’s like nice to know that that’s where you stand in case that’s not their objective either, right? Because then that could be a little awkward.
Mickey Gordon 11:02
Yeah. Like I show up with a heart on assless chaps and be like, I’m ready.
Mallory Gordon 11:07
Like dessert, dessert comes out and everyone takes the pants off. And they’re a little confused.
Mickey Gordon 11:12
They were wearing pants who wears pants? Yeah, but I’m really excited about it. You know, I pitched this to Dave. I called him and I was like, Dave, what do you think if we give away a womanizer for people that sign up for a lifetime membership? And he’s like, okay, like, Dave, so laid back? Yeah, that’s a great idea. Oh, yeah, let’s do that. And they’re so good to us. They
Mallory Gordon 11:34
are and you can tell they put a lot of sweat equity into this site
Mickey Gordon 11:39
they have and you know what Dave is such a great geek that he’s helped me with casual toys calm a great deal as well. He’s been so friendly and helpful to know as in I’m a nerd, but Dave is like super nerd. Like he is awesome. Oh, him up below jab. I’m not giving it to him. Okay, go right ahead.
Mallory Gordon 11:57
I mean, no, I didn’t volunteer
Mickey Gordon 11:59
you Okay, good.
Mallory Gordon 12:00
Just saying, Dave. I got Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 12:03
he’s got one coming his way. See what I did there. I mean, let’s talk about our weekend a little bit, because I feel like we had an epic weekend. And it was dude. Well, it was this week because it wasn’t really weekend. It was just week.
Mallory Gordon 12:17
Yeah. So we’re we’re slowly getting out side of the home and quarantine and we’re taking all the precautions necessary. But we had friends that were in the area. And we haven’t seen them in like six months since
Mickey Gordon 12:30
before. COVID. Yes. So the work the thing COVID hit. And we had really good momentum we
Mallory Gordon 12:37
had great we had met some wonderful people and connected and they’re all hot, super sexy. And then boom, died the dead dead like everything’s,
Mickey Gordon 12:48
it’s like, I forgot how to talk like, kick died. Everything just went away. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 12:52
well, and I also went to it into a hole because when I can’t be engaged with people and see them and, and, and look them in the eyes. It’s it’s really hard for me and I get super depressed. So just like covering my eyes up and going into hermit mode kind of helped me cope. cope, I guess. Yeah.
Mickey Gordon 13:10
Do your little coping mechanism. Yeah, it’s not
Mallory Gordon 13:13
i’m not saying it’s healthy. I don’t recommend it. Okay, I’m just being transparent.
Mickey Gordon 13:16
Neither is drinking. I tried that, too. You know, it’s it’s funny, because, you know, we had this opportunity to see these guys. And it was so weird because we met in downtown Orlando, and it was dead and we’re just not used to downtown Orlando
Mallory Gordon 13:30
now. It was very quiet. And yeah, it was. It was strange. Um, but we had a fabulous time. The food is great. The company was amazing. I think we got up and we were talking outside for a little bit before we departed to go to our cars because it was just a meet up to be like, hey, just fucking miss you guys. I can’t wait to like, see your beautiful faces. And we looked down. We’d been there for like three and a half. Four hours are something
Mickey Gordon 13:54
we really had. Well, I know that our waiter came up to us who was a hoot, by the way.
Mallory Gordon 13:58
Oh, he was Yeah, he was a trip.
Mickey Gordon 13:59
Yeah. I mean, that’s if you get a chance to go to Chris Steakhouse in downtown Orlando. asked for Rodney. He is he’s a blast. Rodney is great. And Russell’s. Great. They’re amazing. They’re fantastic, amazing servers. They got so much personality. And he was not he didn’t miss a beat. I tried to get him flustered as hard as I could. Now he’d miss a beat. Now he gave it back to you. He did he said it straight back music. He’s like, oh, you’re a swinger. That’s cute.
Mallory Gordon 14:27
Mickey Gordon 14:30
He was awesome. loved him to death. But more importantly, I didn’t know how long we’d been there, too. We got up and I couldn’t feel my ass. Like we had been sitting.
Mallory Gordon 14:39
like he’d sat on the shitter too long.
Mickey Gordon 14:44
I was like, Oh my God. I was walking like I had peg legs. I couldn’t feel my feet.
Mallory Gordon 14:49
Really? That’s not what I thought you were gonna say.
Mickey Gordon 14:53
It was so long and but at the same time, it went so fast. He
Mallory Gordon 14:56
said I didn’t want to leave.
Mickey Gordon 14:58
Yeah, we could have sat and talked to us. goes all night long. And we’re really fortunate we get to call them friends. They’re free. They’re just they’re great. And it’s, that’s my favorite thing about the lifestyle is when you meet people like that, that are, you know, just they’re awesome. We’re not going to call anything out about him. You guys know we don’t kiss until here on on casual swinger. There was no kissing or anything like that. But it just, it was great to be out with people that are that awesome. And was it just it was perfect. It really was.
Mallory Gordon 15:25
It made my heart and soul happy. And I feel like I’m like reconstituted a little bit right, like, right up and someone added a little bit of water. Like it was perfect.
Mickey Gordon 15:35
Your cold black heart is beating again. I
Mallory Gordon 15:36
think so slowly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like the Grinch.
Mickey Gordon 15:42
But you know, last night was, we’ve never done what we did last night. Not like that.
Mallory Gordon 15:50
not officially. So we’ve had so we had a video date last night, straight up video, straight up video G, we’ve connected with people over zoom and video just to catch up and whatnot. But we haven’t really introduced ourselves to anyone new since all of this happened. Not a not a not platform. I mean, we hosted a couple things for the rascals and whatnot. But that was amazing. I had so much fun. And I’m kind of hung over. They got me drunk last night.
Mickey Gordon 16:14
Oh, yeah, it was definitely they totally got me. They were sitting at our bar handing you the bottle over and over and over again.
Mallory Gordon 16:20
Well, it’s one of those things. Did you ever notice that subconsciously when you see somebody take a sip? You take a sip, too? Yeah. And they could have been drinking water for you? Well, but I realized I had been doing it and then and being at the bar, I could just pour my drink. Like, I didn’t have to get up for anything. She
Mickey Gordon 16:35
was just sitting there sipping her Margarita. And so it was really subtle, though, because she had a straw so you really couldn’t tell she was doing it. Unlike me, where every time my elbow bent, my mouth opened. Yeah, boom. Wow, they’re gonna think I’m a drunk. But it was just so comfy to just sit there and chat with them. And yes, like our barstools at our bar are not comfortable. They’re hearty shit. And we sat there for like four hours.
Mallory Gordon 16:59
I mean, my face hurts from laughing, my head hurts a little bit from the hangover. That’s apparently my fault. But it was a great time again, we could have gone on for hours, hours and hours.
Mickey Gordon 17:09
So what made the video date? Good, let’s make this useful for the people that are listening. So to recap, what do you think, made the video date? Good? I mean, how did how did we approach it? And what was your thought process on how we approached it? Oh,
Mallory Gordon 17:21
gosh, I don’t know if I’m with the program to dissect it fully. But I think, you know, we’d had this established like a rapport prior, like, because we’ve been talking to him for a week or so. Before so we kind of had the initial get to know Yes, yeah. establish that. So we could talk a little bit deeper about ourselves once experiences tell stories. Because they’re still fairly new. But they they had some thorough stories, they
Mickey Gordon 17:47
were great. And they’re in a great place to like, even though that they’re new. They were they were really in a very positive place for being new.
Mallory Gordon 17:55
Right. So I think where it went well is all four of us appreciated the the transparency and the honesty, but also the light heartedness, which is a good fit for you and I, we don’t take ourselves too seriously. Isn’t of humor is big with us. And even though we have some overly like we had that music conversation, right? That was really good. We found common ground. Yeah. We got to talk about what they’re kind of looking for without being clinical about it. Like, tell me exactly what you’re looking for. So I can either check the box or uncheck the box in a floating natural conversation by you know, dropping a few hints or questions here and there. It was great.
Mickey Gordon 18:34
I think I came away from that conversation. Definitely feeling like we had to get our assets to Arizona.
Mallory Gordon 18:43
Yeah, yeah. They came on screen and I was like, good. Jesus Christ. They’re hot.
Mickey Gordon 18:48
Yeah, that was that was unnatural. Whoo, whoo. But you know that my favorite thing about the whole thing was, you know, we went ahead and got dressed like we were going out on a regular day. So you looked fantastic. Oh, thank you. And they looked fantastic. And but we were still comfy. We were kind of in the comfort of our own homes and they were petting their dog and you were petting baby Yoda. I was petting baby.
Mallory Gordon 19:10
Mickey Gordon 19:13
But, you know, it just really, I don’t know. It was a lot of fun. And I you know, if they’re listening to this, they hopefully they had fun to do it.
Mallory Gordon 19:23
Yeah, I might take my clothes off next day.
Mickey Gordon 19:26
Well do whatever you’re comfortable with. Yeah, just just send whatever.
Mallory Gordon 19:30
You’re comfortable. Feel free to send anything.
Mickey Gordon 19:35
All right. Well, let’s let’s talk about the scrotum real quick. Before we jump into the next section here,
Mallory Gordon 19:39
scroll down back to the always back to the scrotum.
Mickey Gordon 19:44
So this lifetime friend of mine came in you super curious and he wanted to know more about the lifestyle. He’s vanilla as fuck
Mallory Gordon 19:51
he is and he’s also pretty funny. But also, I think he asked some really great questions. I’m a little pissed at him because after we wrapped up in had another drink after which I don’t think we should have continued drinking because it went on to like two or four in the morning. No, Miss five. He asked like some really great ones like he got super comfortable just being a little more blunt. And so I told him now you have to come on the show on a segment sometime to do these follow up questions because these are great.
Mickey Gordon 20:17
Questions from the scrotum? Yes.
Mallory Gordon 20:21
Yeah, I think we got into like the DP conversation. We did, like Hold that thought,
Mickey Gordon 20:25
right? If you Why didn’t you ask about this when we right now? You know, the thing that I that really stood out to me in the interview was kind of how we turn the tables on him and didn’t even realize we oh my
Mallory Gordon 20:35
gosh, that was so funny when I had that revelation, because we did not do that intentionally. And I think it’s, it’s a little strange. Maybe from his perspective, he never really gave me like deep feedback on that. But we were normalized in our choices and how we decided to live our life that we may have made him feel uncomfortable for being in a traditional style relations.
Mickey Gordon 20:58
You can actually see him shift in his chair and he was demanding monogamy.
Mallory Gordon 21:01
I know, I had to apologize because that’s not what this was about. I think everyone’s entitled to live their lives the way they choose. You know, I just, I don’t want to be judged for mine. So normalizing It has been a goal for us over the last three years. And we did such a good job at it. We’re like, it’s okay. You’re normal.
Mickey Gordon 21:19
You’re right. It’s okay. If you’re gonna have sex with her. It’s okay. That is how normalized we were in this conversation. Yeah, that we made him feel like he was the weird wooden porch was I screwed up? We did not mean to do that too. Poor Yukon Cornelius. Yeah, Mr. Vanilla. Yeah, Mr. Vanilla Yukon. Cornelius, the alabaster scrotum. Honey, why don’t you let everybody know where to find us and we will introduce you to the great alabaster scrote them.
Mallory Gordon 21:46
Excellent. Well, we appreciate you guys listening with us. Here. We’re casual swinger everywhere. You want to send us a note that’s podcast at casual swinger. If you like what we’re doing, we love reviews. It makes us feel really good. That’s iTunes, where you can leave that. Let’s see. We’re on social media, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram and on the dating sites hit us up at SLS STC Doubleday nation of course cuivre and Cassidy.
Mickey Gordon 22:11
Do it. You guys have been listening to casual swinger?
Mallory Gordon 22:30
Hey, guys, you’re listening to casual swinger and we’re back. I’m Mallory.
Mickey Gordon 22:34
I am still Mickey. And of course, always up for decisions.
Mallory Gordon 22:38
Yes, yeah. Yeah, I may start calling you something else. That can be sexy. Yeah, I have been calling you big Papa Smurf with your blue hair.
Mickey Gordon 22:50
very blue. What are we doing today?
Mallory Gordon 22:51
We’re doing something kind of fun and interesting and off the cuff.
Mickey Gordon 22:55
This is different for us because we put a little work into this and make sure that we kind of know what direction we’re taping this episode. But this is different. We got a says
Mallory Gordon 23:02
we actually have one an in house guest in our studio today. And it’s someone we know and love and have been friends with for what 15 years.
Mickey Gordon 23:12
Yeah, easily every day. So I’d like to introduce you guys to a good friend of mine. He is the chrome dome himself. He is a superhero known as the alabaster scrotum. Yukon kornelius. We’ll just call him vajayjay or j for short. How you doing? Jay, welcome to the casual swinger studio.
The Alabaster Scrotum 23:34
Listen, I’ve done a lot of presentations for business and things like that. I’ve never had an intro like that. So thank you very much actually might want that recording of that. But thank you. I’m doing fantastic. Cheers. Cheers. It’s been fantastic seeing you guys this weekend. kind of excited about what we’re going to do tonight. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 23:50
yeah. So we’re kind of nervous to this week, right? We’re just kind of capping off this weekend sitting down and talking a little bit and we’ve got some drinks here in the studio, which is a little different for us because a lot of times we record in the morning.
Mallory Gordon 24:01
That’s true because I am usually like on point and my brains working and sometimes at night I have a little lag so forgive me if that’s the case.
Mickey Gordon 24:09
Right? So what we did is we bent Mallory over a chair and we stuck a lube launcher upper acid filter for Red Bull.
Mallory Gordon 24:16
That’s not true. I didn’t happen
Mickey Gordon 24:19
to try it.
Mallory Gordon 24:19
What’s it we need to know what a lube launcher is? Like? I don’t say no. Right away. And I’m almost down to try just about anything once.
Mickey Gordon 24:28
Alright, so we’ll give it a go. And we’ll see what happens. That’s kind of like a syringe. But now I don’t like a salad shooter. Because salad shooters lately, that’s
Mallory Gordon 24:38
what happens after you eat it at a buffet.
Mickey Gordon 24:43
We already have enough problems with people associating us with shit.
Mallory Gordon 24:46
Just we have to own it, I think.
Mickey Gordon 24:49
Yeah, I think we own it at this point. We have a friend in the studio today. That is vanilla is shit. He’s so vanilla that this guy is literally we call him the alabaster scrotum. We go It’d be because he is so fucking white that he’s translucent, you can see the blue veins in his head. So that’s Jay and, you know, he has a ton of questions. He’s, you know, he’s always been kind of aware of us being in the lifestyle. I mean, how long has it been now that you’ve been aware of us being in the lifestyle? It’s, ah,
The Alabaster Scrotum 25:19
she’s Louise, it’s probably been at least at least 13 years, I, you know, it wasn’t readily apparent. Okay. You know, as we know, we’ve known each other for a long time. And as we’ve gone on the road, we’ve had multiple conversations, things come out when you add a little bit of alcohol here and there. And, yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s an interesting part of your life that I wanted to know more about. But you know, I also respect your privacy. So, you know, you’ve been very gracious about answering the questions that I’ve had both of you guys, but you know, I kind of keep it at a at a surface level. And, you know, let you guys volunteer what you want to volunteer.
Mallory Gordon 26:01
The Alabaster Scrotum 26:02
So you know, it’ll be interesting tonight to, to delve a little bit deeper. Yeah.
Mallory Gordon 26:07
So do you have any boundaries you’d like to outline? Now before we get really deep into this? And you find out things about us that maybe you didn’t want to know?
Mickey Gordon 26:15
The Alabaster Scrotum 26:16
I think I think the the alcohol will help be like the men in black where they flash the little thing in front of your face. And you know, all of a sudden, your memories white, I think we’re gonna we’ll probably do a lot of that tonight.
Mickey Gordon 26:27
All right, fair enough. We’ll just pound a few gummies into the bed. He’ll wake up, probably piss in the hallway, but it’ll be fine. My house. So let’s start with a really basic thing. How did it make you feel when it first became readily apparent? So you and I are sitting at a bar somewhere? Maybe I’m I mean, there’s a good chance I was hammered. Let’s be honest, Mickey. Mickey is a drunk. But you know, yeah. So how did it make you feel? Did it? Did it blow you away? Were you surprised? Did it? Did it offend you? Did it leave you with more questions and answers? I mean, do you remember how that went and how you came away from it feeling about it?
The Alabaster Scrotum 27:04
I do. So the interesting thing, Mickey is when we, when we sit around, and we actually start talking about things. You know, it’s almost like no topic is off limits. So, you know, you’re a very dynamic personality. So when you get when you get the talking, and you know, your way of telling a story is very engrossing. So, you know, the way you kind of broke me into it, and he kind of dropped it. And then we start talking about different things, you know, you kind of get the creative and the curious juices going. And being an engineer by trade, you sit there and, you know, you want to know how things work, whether it be mechanical, whether it be mental, however, so it’s, it wasn’t intimidating by any stretch, it definitely didn’t change my opinion of you whatsoever. It was more along the lines of Hmm, that’s something I’ve never, ever in my entire life ever considered. However, I’m very curious about Hmm. And so, you know, it’s I, you know, I’ll give people that, you know, including you guys, obviously, that are in that lifestyle that are want to take a you know, I say, even from that, you know, dipping your toes in that first, the risk involved in doing that, you know, there’s a lot of respect, I think, getting involved with that. Because, as we’ve had conversations, you know, it’s more than just saying, Hey, you know, we’re gonna go out and fuck other people. It’s a, there’s a whole myriad myriad of different emotions, different decisions, different discussions, that all have to take place before it happens. So, you know, from my perspective, I’m very curious, the interactions that happen between a couple, when you decide to actually you know, instead of dipping your toe go full force into it. You know, the dialogue that happens, you know, how you decide to go on dates, how you decide, you know, if one person’s into it, one person isn’t, you know, I just, look, we could probably talk about this for hours upon hours upon hours.
Mallory Gordon 29:12
That’s fine. That’s fine. I love this open dialog. So that seems like, you know, three or four different questions or considerations that you’ve had right off the bat there? I’m gonna rewind just one step. So you said when you and Mickey were talking and came out with it, you didn’t look at them any differently. It was easy for you to accept that. Do you feel the same way on this side of the fence because as a woman, especially talking to someone who hasn’t dip their toes in or isn’t involved in the lifestyle? One of my chief concerns is how did they view me because I feel like there’s a little bit of a double standard there. Did it make you curious as to my integrity as a woman because that early on, Mickey and I have only been dating for you know, a couple of years? Yeah, maybe? Long Damn. So I haven’t really He established myself in long term in his life because you knew him before I did. So stuff like that always came to mind. Do you do remember like thinking? Well, this vicious trollop here? No, I
The Alabaster Scrotum 30:12
didn’t think that at all. You know, I thought that as a couple, you know, it’s it again, it’s a decision that a couple makes. So it’s not like, you know, I looked at Mickey and said, Well, you know, you’re a stud, but what are you doing with this whore?
Mickey Gordon 30:32
Well, I like him whores thing. So now,
The Alabaster Scrotum 30:36
from my opinion, I did it for me, you know, especially knowing you. I didn’t have any preconceived notion or say, You know what? Oh, skank? Yeah, I believe, you know, what is he doing with her? You know, I under I can, I can definitely see from the woman’s perspective where, you know, Hey, good job. You know, Mickey, you know, awesome. You’re here get the you know, fuck strange people who?
Marry here. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 31:03
man. Yeah, for me. It wasn’t like that at all. Yeah, yeah. For a Babylon, otherwise known as Mallory, is
Mallory Gordon 31:10
to ask about me at the neighborhood cookout.
The Alabaster Scrotum 31:12
But it’s also things Yeah, right. But it’s also one of the things you know, I’ve known Mickey for a very long time. So you know, man of integrity, you know, brilliant man, when you speak with him, you know, acknowledgeable, across many, many, many different topics. So, you know, if you’re going to be dating him, you’re gonna have to be the same type of person, because otherwise he’s just gonna be bored. So, you know, it’s not where, you know, I look at him and go, Oh, he’s one this this type of person. I look at you, and you’re just along for the ride. Now, it wasn’t like that at all.
Mallory Gordon 31:42
Oh, well, that makes me feel better about myself. So that’s right. That’s all. That’s what this is about. Yeah, that’s
Mickey Gordon 31:47
all we need is for you. You can rest easy tonight now.
Mallory Gordon 31:51
But he did. He did mention a few things. Like, it seems like there’s a lot of things that have to happen prior which are your right, would you agree Mickey? Oh,
Mickey Gordon 31:59
Mallory Gordon 32:00
when you’re getting into the situation. And you’re you’re venturing into having sex with other people and couples or singles, there has to be a foundation there that starts with a conversation and communication. It does.
Mickey Gordon 32:11
And so we talked about this a lot on the show. And I would say that a lot of content creators in the space talk about communication as being more or less the foundation and the cornerstone, frankly, of any relationship, nothing, just lifestyle. And so what you find when you talk to people that are in long term lifestyle relationships, and I’m not saying any lifestyle relationship, because you can have a bad lifestyle relationship, sorry, you can have a bad regular relationship. bad relationships have the same thing in common is bad lifestyle relationships have, which are people that don’t put each other first don’t communicate, and don’t work toward a common goal. So when we talk about lifestyle relationships, it’s actually extra important that we communicate. And we have to communicate sometimes in some complicated ways. So on the show here, we’ve talked about and we actually had to change it because we let the cat out of the bag on the show about things like our code word for when we’re out with a couple and we are or are not down to play. Yeah, if the subject were to come up. And so it used to be that we’d be at a bar and Mallory would look at me and go, Hey, you want to course late, I’m going to the bar. And I said yes, that meant I was down to play. And I said no, that I wasn’t. But of course now the wonderful three listeners that we have out there, the universe know all about it. And so we’ve actually been at bars and said, we know what’s going to happen if you guys ask each other if you want to correlate so we’re waiting. Yeah. And it’s like, Fuck, we can’t do that.
Mallory Gordon 33:38
And now we’re not telling anybody else our code. But I mean, right now like,
Mickey Gordon 33:45
Can I get Can I get a bourbon? Just bourbon mean that I want to fuck everybody now on the table, like, just take off your pants. And yeah, we’ll be tequila.
Mallory Gordon 33:57
So to give you some background, it does take a lot of legwork, because it’s it’s online dating for couples. And a lot of ways there’s, I don’t know, dozen different platforms, depending on what part of the country you’re in, that are dating applications for this lifestyle, and all the different kind of kings and dynamics that come into play. So you start conversations with people, it does take a lot of effort, right? Especially when you have a busy like vanilla life. You establish a date, they show up for the date, you show up for the date, which sometimes is a little bit of a struggle as well, right? coordinating schedules. And then you’re sitting there and at the end of the day, you can have some of the best conversations and really, really enjoy these people. But there’s that chemical element, right? Like the chemistry that has to be there, and a four way connection when you’re dating, you know, 212 in that way.
The Alabaster Scrotum 34:47
So that’s interesting. You say that, you know, it’s hard enough in a regular dating scenario. Yeah. So now you have to have four people instead of two. That’s actually pretty interesting.
Mallory Gordon 34:57
Did you ever play the last level of Super Mario Brothers No, it’s got all the fire. Like it’s a little it can be a little complicated. It’s worth it when when you knock the ball the park and everyone’s got this wonderful four way connection. But it’s it’s not easy.
Mickey Gordon 35:14
No, it only happens when you live at least 1000 miles away from us. That’s
Mallory Gordon 35:18
Yeah, I have this like birth like, you live within that that circumference. I mean, we can be friends and I’m just kidding,
Mickey Gordon 35:25
right but if you’re listening in Pennsylvania, we’re coming to visit.
Mallory Gordon 35:28
Yeah. I don’t know, dude, since we’ve moved to Florida. There’s quite a few people have caught my eye. So I think that luck is changing.
Mickey Gordon 35:39
No, God I hope so. I’m looking at you to baby. Let’s talk about you for you know, Valerie is fucking smoking. Right so you guys can’t I can’t see the alabaster scroll to me is a very average guy. And in no way deserves the beauty that is Valerie. Not Mallory. But Valerie Valerie is his beauty that is back home waiting for him. And I’m curious. Have you guys had conversations that that kind of lean in this direction? Have you? I mean,
Mallory Gordon 36:13
maybe skirt? monogamy a little bit?
Mickey Gordon 36:15
Yeah. So have you really delved into it at
The Alabaster Scrotum 36:17
all? We have. So you know, Valerie knows you guys as well. But she also has a friend. And he’s also in the lifestyle.
Mallory Gordon 36:27
The Alabaster Scrotum 36:28
so you know, it’s something that she’s been aware of for a while and then has had a conversation with her friend. You know, I’ve obviously had conversations with you guys. So yeah, I mean, it’s a topic of conversation that comes up when you know, you’re sitting there resting your head on the pillow and ready to go to bed. However, the one thing that we always come to the conclusion of it and the big thing is it’s maybe jealousy is not the right word. But you know, it’s jealousy coming from the standpoint of Wow, how can I either a watch her have sex with somebody else? Or you know, how do you broach say, you’re doing separate rooms or what have you. But the next day, she comes in all smiley, and you know, full life. And you say, Well, how was last night she’s like, it was awesome. You know how as a, you know, heterosexual man with the with your, with your fiance go? Well, fuck what was so much better? You know, I don’t know if I want to know the answer. That’s great. Oh, it’s, it’s, you know, go
Mickey Gordon 37:33
right ahead. You can have it.
The Alabaster Scrotum 37:34
We it’s, it’s, uh, you know, we both have talked about it. And we both have decided that you know what? Yeah, I don’t know if that’s, you know, something, you know, at least right now we could even consider it’s it’s kind of, it seems to be a very slippery slope. A very something very,
Mickey Gordon 37:51
okay. Nothing you’re feeling there is is unnatural, totally normal. We’re not gonna lie. If it feels uncomfortable talking. I’m not gonna lie. That’s okay, too. And I can see in your body like,
Mallory Gordon 38:01
yeah, and if that feeling never changes for you guys, again, nothing fucking wrong with that. Not a bit, because it’s normal. Because at the end of the day, we can literally draw lines back to an end my personal opinion, our own insecurities, because the first thought that came to your mind was, Oh, my God, what was better than me, right? And that comes from fear, right? fear that I’m not going to be good enough. And if I’m not good enough, something’s going to change in this dynamic. And if it changes, I could end up alone. Like that, you can always draw the line back to those feelings of feeling insecure, not good enough, and the fear of loneliness. And so I don’t care what kind of dynamic you’re in what your situation is, whether you’re asexual, bisexual, polyamorous, we all have those moments. And something I identified actually, just in this last year, I finally was able to segregate envy and jealousy into two different silos. Hmm, that’s interesting. Yeah. So I used to think that if Mickey were to be in another room playing with another female that I was jealous. But there was an event that transpired and he had a great time, we were all kind of in the same area. And I had a I had a good time, I think I had really high expectations, which is unfair. So when it all unfolded, and it happened, I kind of felt like somewhere in the middle. And again, that was my fault. And then I realize I was a little upset and and drive home. And I was like, Well, I’m just I’m not jealous, I am totally fine. I love that he had a great time. I’m just a little envious. He had a better time than I did. And that’s it.
Mickey Gordon 39:48
And, you know, when we talk about the source of I can tell just by looking at I’ve known you a long time, that you don’t necessarily agree that there’s a fear factor there. That one day you’re going to end alone, but I’ll tell you that base fear that Mallory’s talking about we all have it, we all have it, and maybe we don’t recognize it. And we don’t admit it. But the thing that we’re most afraid of when we really love somebody and they’ve gotten inside of us to where we just can’t imagine life without them is the one day we’ll have to deal with that. make me cry. And but the thing
Mallory Gordon 40:21
of it is, there’s no crying in lifestyle, right?
Mickey Gordon 40:24
There’s no crying in the casual swinger studios, you fucker. But no, it’s, you know, when we talk about that, it’s really not what we think it is. Because if they do have an experience, and I’ll give you my perspective on it, if she does have an experience that that she doesn’t have with me, I’m over here going fucking Hey, I got my pom poms out. I’m
Mallory Gordon 40:46
like, rock on. That’s amazing. He’s literally the best cheerleader on the planet. I don’t know if our good friend here has a good idea of what our dynamic is like. It’s not the soul dynamic, but is part of our dynamic as a ethically and consensually non monogamous
Mickey Gordon 41:02
well, so let’s back that up for for Jay here. So for starters, you know, we there’s ethical non monogamy, consensual non monogamy? Are they the same thing? There’s a lot of schools of thought on that. And ethical non monogamy says that I am not monogamous, but my partners know. And consensual non monogamy means that you have somebody in your life that is accepting and encouraging of the behavior you’re exhibiting. So they’re they’re kind of a little bit different in the regard that ethical means they’re not joining in, it will not necessarily maybe they are maybe they aren’t. But it’s still all part of a consensual and agreed upon relationship. That’s what they have in common. Now, what we’re getting out here, though, is for me, I get a lot of pleasure out of her having a good time. You know, if she comes back to me and says she had a great time, I’m probably gonna fuck the brakes off for her because she had so much fun and she’s in a great, she’s in a great place because of it.
Mallory Gordon 41:54
Freight double the fun for me, my life does not suck, right? So if she had
Mickey Gordon 41:57
time, it’s I’m not going to go, Well, what did he do that? I don’t do? Why can’t I do that for you? Because the thing that I actually know, more than anything else, is that we’re together, and we’re gonna stay together, and she’s my person, and I’m hers. And that’s not going to change. So that actually makes that really easy for me to say, wait a minute, do I want to keep you from having something because you chose me? Do I want to take something away from you that? What if I could give you all the things and still be together? And that’s really where that conversation came from for us is you can have all the things you can have everything right? And I don’t we always know what that everything is right.
The Alabaster Scrotum 42:39
I agree with you about that. But also, couldn’t you figure out as a, you know, monogamous couple having dialogue about likes, dislikes, you know, fantasies, things along those lines, you know, you can kind of I think you can get an establish some of those, can you?
Mickey Gordon 42:56
Oh, absolutely, that’s what we sell sex toys.
The Alabaster Scrotum 42:59
I guess I guess is one of the it’s one of those things where, you know, you can have that experience with another couple or another person. However, you know, from a monogamous standpoint, open dialogue. And that’s difficult. I realize for some people, you know, luckily, Valerie and I have a very open dialogue about that stuff.
Mickey Gordon 43:19
And you should, I’m glad you do.
The Alabaster Scrotum 43:20
That’s beautiful. No, it’s, I guess it’s one of those things where our sexualizing is very fulfilling, very satisfactory from both sides. And, you know, when you start looking at it, and, you know, say we did jump into the lifestyle, and then she does go and have this stellar experience, you sit there, holy shit, the stuff we do is mind blowing, you know, how much better Can I get?
Mickey Gordon 43:45
Well, it’s, you know, she does have 10 fingers to put in your ass. J. Mm hmm. I’m so tight. Like to get the prostate. You know, it’s, I think that the, the concerns, the constraints you bring to the table are completely legitimate. And I love where you started with it, though, that you have great communication and you do kind of dig into all these things. And honestly, that’s where lifestyle relationships really begin. We get a lot of questions from listeners who write in or email in or, or do whatever, and they ask, How do I get my partner to x? And yeah, that’s such a
Mallory Gordon 44:24
Mickey Gordon 44:24
I used to hate it. I used to hate that question. We first started this show is that God? Are you trying to get anyone do anything? What the fuck is wrong with you? And then I realized, you really what you’re not what you’re asking us is how do I communicate with him or her and get them to see what I’m feeling and that it’s not that I because they tell you when I introduced Mallory to and I said hey, I’m I’ve been lifestyle for a very long time. She’s like, so you want to fuck other people? And get straight to that. I think that’s everybody’s first reaction.
Mallory Gordon 44:55
Well, and then, after asking a few questions like so you want me to fuck Other people think I’m, I’m so confused here, like, what is this even look like? Because without knowing it My parents were swingers,
Mickey Gordon 45:10
you know? Yeah. So remind
Mallory Gordon 45:12
our heads about that. Yeah. So we’re second generation today. I did.
Mickey Gordon 45:17
That’s where our names came from on the show, right. So you remember Natural Born Killers, right? Yeah. Right. Well, so Natural Born Killers were Mickey and Mallory right, were natural born swingers, right? There you go.
Mallory Gordon 45:28
But I as much as I was into sex, and you know, I was blatantly bisexual. I didn’t come to terms with it when I was in high school, but I was absolutely bisexual. I just never gave it a label because I think sex had a certain sheen to it. But so when he presented it, to me, everything that pulled from my memory was negative connotations that maybe I’d seen in advertising or movies, or maybe a magazine that I didn’t know a lot about it. You know, porn, probably, right. What? When’s the first time you heard about swingers, let’s start. Like, what is your What was your perception? Do you remember the first time you heard it? And what is it now?
The Alabaster Scrotum 46:10
Question? Ah, you know what, I would probably have to say, I might have been maybe 25 ish. 26.
Mallory Gordon 46:23
Okay, so you were a young adult?
Mickey Gordon 46:25
Were you in a bar talking to establish, like, hey, come home with us or me? How did this go?
The Alabaster Scrotum 46:30
I would think you would, it was probably more just general discussion around, you know, guys get together, start drinking a little bit and start talking about sex and things along those lines.
Mickey Gordon 46:40
You were at your parents house. Okay, that makes
The Alabaster Scrotum 46:43
Sunday dinner actually. Has potatoes. Hey, by the way, did you know the Andersons are swingers?
Mickey Gordon 46:51
dads? Yeah, your mom had her pinky in my ass just right. It was great.
The Alabaster Scrotum 46:54
Yeah, we know them? Well. So yeah, you know, from a perception standpoint. You know, especially when you’re younger, you know, as a young man, you know, you you know, your hammer, everything’s a nail. So if you think about the lifestyle itself, you’re going, Oh, hell, you know, now that sounds awesome to me. Yeah, you know, then you when you finally get old enough, and you talk to people, and you know, like, that’s not how it works. You can’t just walk into a club and go, Hey, I’m ready. Yeah, and there’s gonna be a parade of women just waiting there for you know. So it’s an interesting, dynamic and interesting. You know, what I’m looking for your mindset changes completely as the years go on. He talked to more people. And then obviously, as I’ve talked to both of you, you know, I get more and more insight into it. And then, you know, when Valerie, you know, talks to me about her friend, you know, I get, you know, the other side there and a different side. And, you know, it’s interesting to see how people decided to get into the lifestyle. Hmm. So, you know, you guys are different than what Valerie’s friends have been. And, you know, I they’re there. They were more along the lines of they needed, I think, a spark for their marriage. They hit a sale point. So I think that’s how they got into it. You know,
Mallory Gordon 48:20
and if they’re both on board, and it’s working for them. Good O’s, right. Yeah, I know. And it started with a conversation.
The Alabaster Scrotum 48:28
Yeah, I don’t know how, how they decided to get in or how it worked, you know, whether one was in before the other, and one, you know, and pulled them in? I don’t know that dynamic. yet. I asked that question. But
Mickey Gordon 48:39
well, when you really dig in with those people, what you’re going to find out is that it’s not the lifestyle, that spice their marriage backup, it’s that they started talking about it, the communication spice their marriage backup, because now what they’re doing is they’re talking openly about their fantasies and their sexuality and their desires. And that’s something they weren’t doing. They were talking about breakfast, lunch, and dinner, feeding the fucking dog and making sure the kids get to school on time. That’s what happens in in so many marriages that you start boiling it down.
Mallory Gordon 49:08
Yes, the autonomic conversations you have on a daily basis, because in your brain, it doesn’t form that deep connection or memory. When you do it on a daily basis, totally valid. Has anyone in this room had a quote unquote, work wife, or husband, right? I think everyone has someone you work very closely with on a day to day basis. And as you grow in your job position, and you talk more and get a little bit deeper, you actually feel that connection growing with another person. And I have certain people in my life that I work with every day and I can see the progression over the last two years, how much we’ve gotten close and it’s it’s all professional, it’s totally platonic. But in my memory bank, because we’re talking about all this full scope of details on a daily basis and everyday, it changes it deepens our relationship. It’s the same thing. Same concept, right? Sure. Of course it is. Because it’s it’s stimulating. You feel like you’re feeding each other and helping each other succeed. So there’s that emotional side and our relationship for me and Mickey, and then the professional side with me and my colleagues.
Mickey Gordon 50:17
Yeah, I just wanted to fuck my work wife. I did fuck my first work wife and I married her. And I’m kidding. Right? You know, I think that all of these these things are, you know, they might sound like common sense to some of you that are listening right now. But there’s somebody out there right now that’s going oh my god, that is me. That’s me over and over again. And maybe you want to have these conversations. So tell me something. What’s the kinky shit you and Valerie have? Oh, yeah,
Mallory Gordon 50:49
let’s get dirty.
Mickey Gordon 50:50
Yeah, let’s like you said you have this open communication. So I mean, if she tied you to like the bed frame and beat your ass with a boat, paddle and a
Mallory Gordon 50:59
The Alabaster Scrotum 51:00
so it’s funny, you should mention that. I literally just bought the other weekend. A set of bondage straps to kind of go into the matches to make. So you know, we have the back we have a set we talked about a lot about kinky shit, even to the point where, you know, her big thing is, I’m sorry, honey. gloryhole is something that she is interested in. Oh, so common. We’ve talked about building that. But, you know, we’ve done you know, sex in front of a window in a hotel. You know, on Vegas, we you know, we’ve done
Mickey Gordon 51:40
only cause two accidents on the strip. Nice job, guys. I’m that hot. It’s all
The Alabaster Scrotum 51:46
it’s all use grow them out even close. But yeah, it’s everything is just sexual with her. Everything is just, you know, I take a look at her. You know, the one. This is an interesting point, you know, talking about communication and things like that. One of the things that we both enjoy, and both love, is the fact that I watched you guys actually do it today is you know, you play a little grab ass. Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, you know, you’re not doing that on a regular basis, you really should, because it’s one of those things where, you know what, it’s something that’s, you know, you eat me and make sure the kids aren’t looking and give little squeeze what have you. You know, it just kind of lets you know, hey, thinking about you, and I’m thinking about you in a certain way. Yeah. You know, I it’s funny, because you look at if I look at my parents, and my parents ever did that, and you know, they’re both they’ve been married for 50 years, and they’re miserable, absolutely miserable. And they’ve never done it, you know, and it’s something that both Valerie and I think it’s very important to, you know, not only do it to make ourselves feel better, but even from, like an embrace or kiss in front of the kids to let them know, you know, what, this is what a real loving relationship looks like. So, you know, so they get, you know, comfortable with the, you know, the things that they see they’ll start bringing into their relationships. And
Mallory Gordon 53:02
that’s a great point laying a foundation for intimacy because intimacy doesn’t necessarily mean sex. So I love that we still flirt. I don’t know that I could survive not doing that in perpetuity.
Mickey Gordon 53:15
I agree with him. Yeah, you know, Mrs. Truth.
The Alabaster Scrotum 53:19
I look at my parents again. You know, so I’m not a hugger. So you know, people come up. Hey, how you doing? Great to see you. I’m
Mallory Gordon 53:25
sorry. Like, I
The Alabaster Scrotum 53:26
don’t mind. I don’t mind. But I’m not it’s not instinctual to me because my parents. Not at all.
Mickey Gordon 53:33
I thought it was your body odor that just kept people away, but I guess it’s your demeanor. Okay. You have
Mallory Gordon 53:38
to let people know that you actually love this man, because you are just fucking rain lean on him. I’m going to be finding a bridge. Oh, you better be banking your comeback drown himself. Feel free to to attack at any time. Yeah, alabaster screwed him will have his revenge. Is that the sequel to this episode?
Mickey Gordon 54:00
screwed him Strikes Back. Alright,
The Alabaster Scrotum 54:01
so I actually I have a question that’s been on my mind for a very long time. And because it’s a very interesting dynamic. So from my standpoint, it is incredibly interesting to see, the way I went, I’m going to call it as the brackish water. So I think guys have had a number of events where you’ve had people in the lifestyle that are there along with people that aren’t in the lifestyle that are there. And the people that aren’t in the lifestyle, don’t necessarily know that you’re in the lifestyle and that this certain segment over here is in the lifestyle, you know, me being, you know, aware of both groups. I find it very interesting, especially when I see the interactions between you know, set groups. How, as a you know, as a as a couple, it’s in the lifestyle do you manage the interaction between both groups. And do you fear that certain groups like for instance, you, there’s a certain set of friends that, you know, I think everybody’s going to have they found that the you did X, Y, or Z, there are going to be, oh, my god shocked. And you know, as you mentioned earlier, looked differently.
Mickey Gordon 55:21
We have actually had some issues with this in the past, right. mattify, we had a party at our house once before we move down south. And one of my friends that is in the lifestyle was there. And he’s a wonderful guy. He’s He’s an amazing guy. He’s got a heart the size of this house. And he picked up the wrong message from a couple. And he was just kind of fiddling and flirting and talking. And he reached around and unhooked her bra strap with with
Mallory Gordon 55:52
the old high school trick,
Mickey Gordon 55:53
yeah. But uhm, and just release the Teddy’s. And she was, it was he very much read that wrong, she was very upset. boyfriend got very upset. And next thing, you know, I’ve got this guy out in the front yard, and he’s like, I’m going to beat the shit out of this guy. And I was like, Well, here’s what’s going to happen. This is my house. And you have to come through me. So if that’s what you think is going to happen, I’m who you get to do. Now, you still want to do that. And now that’s not me being a badass now, me defending somebody that I know didn’t mean it. And I didn’t want to out him as being lifestyle. Now. I gotcha. So I had to take it a different way. In his
Mallory Gordon 56:31
defense, after he realized he read that wrong, he felt terrible. God, he feels so bad. I apologize profusely. I’m so sorry. I didn’t I thought that this was this situation. And I should have asked, and he did everything he could to correct. Was he wrong? Yeah.
Mickey Gordon 56:50
Yeah, probably. And we never saw that couple. And we never, we never came to another party again. Yeah. And of course, I’m still friends with the lifestyle couple because there’s some of my dearest friends on the planet. And it was really, like, he was really crazy. And I thought, wow, maybe I shouldn’t mix my company anymore to your point. Right. And but we decided against it because as you know, we still mix company. Yeah. And we just tell everybody Hey, keep in mind not everybody here is so make sure you have a very clear green light, right? Yeah. For
Mallory Gordon 57:20
Yeah, so something that happens when we have an it’s very rare, especially in this environment right now with everything going on. But if we’re going to have lifestyle people we make sure we tell them this is a mix company or its kids are gone. lifestyle, naked pool time, right? They know ahead of time, and 99.9999% of them. Eight abnormal and for me, it’s wonderful to give an example to people who have no idea that we’re fucking normal to right. Yeah, we were not evens. Yeah, no, well, dirty. Yeah, we’re
Mickey Gordon 57:56
dirty is not bad. But we’re not. We’re not people, we pay our taxes, we collect their mail, we walk our dogs, you know, we go to church, our dogs are huge, they walk in normal. But you know, the thing that really stands out to me with this in and where I know that we’re doing it right is the friends that we have that are vanilla that know will come to us and ask us questions. Or in some cases, they’ll send their I’m talking about adult children, but as their kids grow up, you know, they’ll have questions maybe that they can’t answer. Because you know, today’s you today’s generation is the most progressive of all generations, or
Mallory Gordon 58:34
every generation, every generation. Yeah, right.
Mickey Gordon 58:36
Right. So but these these kids are saying I have questions, their parents, maybe who are vanilla and never really done anything crazy, or like I don’t know, but I know somebody that does. So a lot of times we’ll get questions from either couples or even families. And one of the things that really stood out to me very recently was when our youngest came to me with questions. And it was one of my older kids that sent him to me. Yeah. And they said, We have the most sex positive parents on the planet. Why the fuck Aren’t you asking them?
Mallory Gordon 59:03
point? Yeah, and that’s wonderful. And the middle child sending their friends? Yes. Ask us question, whether it’s about toys. Or, you know, you know, we’re small protection.
Mickey Gordon 59:15
We’ve known some of these kids since they were little but that as
Mallory Gordon 59:18
it is, it’s a little surreal, but at the same time, I’m glad they’re asking somebody they trust. You know, that’s and that’s kind of flattering.
The Alabaster Scrotum 59:29
I understand. flattering, but the thing that you know, if I were in that situation, I know how comfortable I’d be with somebody else’s child. Oh, it’s
Mallory Gordon 59:39
an adult if they’re an adult, you know, 12 year olds. They’re there. They’re out there. Well over 18 Yeah, I’m not gonna lie. There’s an inside voice when I have this guy. He’s he’s much more tempered. When it comes to this inside. I’m like a duck. My legs are fucking kicking under the water. I’m screaming a little bit on the inside because That was the cutest little fucking toddler I’ve ever seen in my life. And now they’re asking me about but that’s
Mickey Gordon 1:00:04
my girl. I’m never okay with that like, right?
Mallory Gordon 1:00:09
What should I know if I want to Dixon, my bud? And okay, that’s cool. We can have this conversation. Let’s go over the logistics and the considerations here in preparation is it is a little surreal, you know? And like, please don’t get your information from porn
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:00:23
doctor decides to talk to you about that. Please don’t tell me. No.
Mallory Gordon 1:00:31
That’s actually, yes, absolutely. 100% if she were to come to me today, you will never know I will take it to the grave.
Mickey Gordon 1:00:38
Yeah, but the thing of it is I also we’ve never actually had those conversations without clearing it with the parent either. And when Hey, by the way, especially, you know, one of the kids came to me with some questions. Do you mind if we answer them and they’re not in any danger, and everything’s fine, but that they felt comfortable asking the fuck, I want them talking to you. Yes, yeah. And so we’ve always done that. And it’s still it makes me feel good knowing that they feel comfortable coming to people they trust, which means that we have taught them something that’s very valuable, that’s going to serve them very well in their relationships, which takes us back to the beginning. It’s communication. They’re comfortable communicating how they feel. And if they do that, in the relationship, they’re gonna have a very happy relationship.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:01:16
Yeah, you know, the interesting thing is, you know, that’s actually not something a lot, some of the subjects they don’t want to bring up with their parents. And you know, as parents, you know, you sit there and go ask me anything, and I’ll tell you the truth.
Mickey Gordon 1:01:28
That’s a fucking lie. Yeah. And then
Mallory Gordon 1:01:30
and then when it really and that they’ll try you, you know, bring something to the table, and it stops your heart for a minute, and it’s hard to play cool the first time, you know, I
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:01:40
want them to try me. Yeah, you know, it’s, I would like to establish that rapport with my children. You know, it’s one thing for parents to say, you know, hey, listen, you come and talk to me about anything, and I’ll tell you the truth. But a lot of times, I’m not gonna do it. I certainly wouldn’t have done it with my parents. Amy’s shit. I’ll give you an example. You know, my father never talked to me about sex. My parents didn’t either my drug talk with my parents or my father was, well, if you want to try something, just bring it home. I’ll do it with you. Just say no kids.
Mickey Gordon 1:02:11
Has your dog ever stolen your daughter’s butt plug? No, not that I’m aware of.
Mallory Gordon 1:02:17
Raise your hand if you chased it down and got it out of the dog’s mouth. Anyone? Anyone? You guys would let me come in the house. Trying to save you. I mean, she you know your daughter. I love her to pieces. She’s shameless. I love that about her. But at the same time, I think she was trying to save you from that.
Mickey Gordon 1:02:35
You know what I mean? That’s your influence, not mine. So
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:02:38
just in case you’re wondering. Yes. I’m very uncomfortable right now.
Mickey Gordon 1:02:41
Mallory Gordon 1:02:43
Does that fall under stories? We haven’t told you yet.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:02:46
Oh, that’s a definitely a story I have yet. Oh, you know what, you don’t have to finish it.
Mickey Gordon 1:02:50
Okay. What’s funny, I noticed that she’s been the Hata grasshopper. Yeah. And what’s funny is Jacob’s into the casual Springer studios in beautiful downtown sunny Florida. And he looks at my whiteboard and he’s like, Jesus Christ. What are all these topics on the whiteboard and these are all casual swinger episodes, that he sees things like caulk rings and ball gags and all kinds of shit up here and there it is. And he’s like wow,
Mallory Gordon 1:03:17
what what’s the most fascinating one out there right now are you see that? What do you see that that sounds
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:03:23
the one that really is sticking out to me. Well, there’s two actually the shooting sea rings which I’m assume are COC rings. Ah, and then the gummy bear slash Italian Job. Oh, so we’ve I don’t know if that’s the one story I know. I think it is the gummy bears. I haven’t seen the Italian Job like attached to the back end of that story. So
Mickey Gordon 1:03:50
the woman that was cramming gummy bears into that guy’s ass was Italian and so we became known as the Italians Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 1:03:56
there’s there’s people in that microwave that heater that we all bonded that des fuckin
Mickey Gordon 1:04:01
scarred. I’m scarred. It was like going there. Yeah.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:04:06
It was epic. For I guess for your listeners. They kind of know that you guys are very descriptive in the way you tell stories and Oh, yeah. It’s it’s very engrossing. You get sucked into the story and then you get to the point where you’re like, I want to leave. Yeah, go but you can let me
Mallory Gordon 1:04:22
know. So you know about that one, I think No, we haven’t told you this one. So I made a reference earlier this week about hey, you remember meeting my mom right? Little uptight and I was being very kind and that statement. So the shooting caulk rings that you see up there. Um, when our youngest was about three or four. He decided to invade one of our bags when he was supposed to be napping upstairs had all my family over at my grandmother’s house. Let’s just like up the ante there. And he decided to take out of our bag. The remaining really stretchy Cochran They were in there. And he proceeded to shoot them at his grandmother’s. My mother’s head. She literally turned around because
Mickey Gordon 1:05:09
he got a cock ring to the face from her grants. Seven of them, dude.
Mallory Gordon 1:05:12
Seven of them so awesome. Seven of them. Two of them use Oh yeah, this is a slippery you this slippery one got stuck in her hair and she’s watching me crawl around to try to find these. She’s like, what are you doing? And they see it like glistening in the turn of her head and I’m like, Fuck, how do they rip that out of their hair and I had
Mickey Gordon 1:05:32
just used it like two hours before not even it was still lubed but the best part is definitely going I had bought the Fourth of July spectacular conquering pack for the summer, which was like the 60 caulk rings and all the different colors and they were all the same they were they just these jelly jelly stretchy like I broke one by the way. But
Mallory Gordon 1:05:50
claim to fame right there was one moment
Mickey Gordon 1:05:53
I broke a cock ring. But you know it’s that’s why the Yeah. Literally. that’s gonna happen. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, that was absolutely fucking horrifying. I mean, get the boy get the boy get Yeah, went bad. And that’s, by the way, straight out of Episode Three of casual swinger of our first season ever. It’s called sex positive parenting and why our children need therapy if you want to hear the complete version of that story and other stories for anybody that’s still listening out there. Yeah. But you know, that’s the thing. So really pretty rubber bands
Mallory Gordon 1:06:27
he’s fighting for he has no idea. I bet he’s gonna have one of those flashes of memory and be like, Oh, yeah. Oh my god. Now I know what those are.
Mickey Gordon 1:06:33
Right. You know, like when
Mallory Gordon 1:06:35
I was like, Oh my God, my dad used to smoke green cigarette. You were teething rings. Yeah.
Mickey Gordon 1:06:44
He was probably up there. I think and they were like, so I’m just gonna call out he’s very good. These are not delicious. This is disgusting.
Mallory Gordon 1:06:53
I’m gonna call out that we you actually didn’t like delve into like the kinkiest thing.
Mickey Gordon 1:06:58
You really did. You skipped? Oh, it was a kinky shit you guys have done and? I mean, you got? Huh? What is the kinkiest you bought? Or you bought or some bondage of bondage?
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:07:12
You know, we’ve done the whole, you know, watch porn and you know, break out the toys and do all that fun stuff. done all that. I would think that’s for lack of a better term Very Vanilla in terms of what couples do.
Mickey Gordon 1:07:25
You know, there’s a lot of couples that can’t though, so don’t be ashamed that you guys have achieved a level of satisfaction with your level of intimacy. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Mallory Gordon 1:07:33
Mickey Gordon 1:07:35
It’s, there’s couples out there where if the guy wants to watch porn, the woman goes, wait a minute, you looking at me? It’s not enough for you. Think about that for a minute.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:07:44
Oh, no, as a matter of fact, you know, Valerie, actually, she’s a lot of times the one that suggested lavo you know, she’s not big on a girl girl stuff. But, you know, it’s, she more often than not is the one that suggest something. A little, a little outside of normal loves. Oh, she’s, uh,
Mickey Gordon 1:08:07
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:08:08
And, you know, I love that about her. I love the fact you know, the, the great thing about our relationship is the fact when we go back to communication is, you know, if she wants me to do something a little bit different, or, you know, change position or change my rhythm or do something a little bit different. You know, she’ll tell me and I don’t take it as a personal offense. I’d asked Hey, get as well. You know, fuck you. I’m a god. I know what I’m doing. No, I take it as Oh, that’s gonna make you feel better. Awesome. Yeah, you know, I take it as Alright, cool. You know? I don’t want to sit there obviously. A hurts or he isn’t effective. Or, you know, I want something that’s going to be Hmm, yeah,
Mickey Gordon 1:08:51
it’s gonna it’s gonna move the needle.
Mallory Gordon 1:08:52
Yeah, for falling directive. I you know, it’s a sex isn’t about ego. am I now? is when you take that out of it?
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:09:01
Yeah. Yeah, we’ve both through through our relationship and learned, you know, likes dislikes and things along those lines in the you know, what it just makes every other time we do it that much hotter. Yeah. You know, it may not I wouldn’t say it’s kinky, but you know, the fact that when we don’t have the kids will spend an entire weekend in bed. It’s just fantastic. Oh, it’s just
Mallory Gordon 1:09:28
that sounds beautiful. Yeah, it’s been an entire weekend in bed. Yeah,
Mickey Gordon 1:09:34
yeah. To me the best part about a relationship when you really know that it’s right and you’re This is the real deal is when you realize there are no more deal breakers right that that this is this is it.
Mallory Gordon 1:09:47
Yeah, yeah. You kind of go sure there’s gonna be some shit. But especially we’re gonna come out here. Yeah.
Mickey Gordon 1:09:57
Mallory Gordon 1:10:02
Oh, yeah, to make it to the other side of it.
Mickey Gordon 1:10:04
Other side of this shit got it? Well, so I’ve got one for you here, Jay. And you said that you you kind of you have this great communication and you get this kink in, and she can talk to you about something until you when she wants it a different way. What happens when she says she wants to add another person to the bedroom? Male or female? How does that conversation go in your mind? Well, we’ve never had that conversation. Okay, so why shouldn’t say versation so the the specter of Valerie is sitting next to you and she whispers in your ear, Jay. I’ve really loved dp which stands for double penetration for I might have been born at night, but it wasn’t last night. So I have Pornhub I’m glad you still have your subscription active. I was afraid to get rid of it after Valerie moved in.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:11:00
You know, it’s we’ve actually talked about, you know, because you sit there and you talked a bit about, you know, making her happy, right? So, you so obviously you sit there and say well bet a threesome? Well, you know, there’s obviously two men and a girl. There’s two girls and a guy. So from her perspective, a
Mickey Gordon 1:11:22
girl the three guys. Okay, now we’re getting to the good shit. All right, well, let’s pump the brakes.
Mallory Gordon 1:11:30
All right, Mr. Vanilla. Sorry.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:11:34
So, you know, you sit there and, you know, we’ve talked about, you know, could I be comfortable? You know, so we’ll put it in terms of me. Okay, could I be? It’s all about me. Please.
Mickey Gordon 1:11:47
Listen to Jay stumble over this shit, guys, by the way, well, got him off his game.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:11:52
Anyway, so you know, you talk about it? And you say, Okay, how comfortable would I be if she said, Hey, listen, I want to have a threesome, I want another guy. You know, I want you to be fucking me. And I want to be blowing another guy while you’re while while we’re doing it London Bridge, baby, you sit there and you go. Alright. Would I be comfortable with that? And if I was comfortable with it, where would I wanted to be? What I want to be getting blown? Or why would it be the one fucking her? And you know, either way. And listen, we’ve had Lafayette, right? We’ve had lots of discussions around it, and I get it, the same thing actually ends up with her when you reverse the roles. And we both go. I don’t know if we could be comfortable. Yeah, you know, it’s I don’t know, like, I’ve been back and forth about it there. There’s times where I sit there and go, you know what, you know, whatever it takes to make her happy. If if this is something she really wanted to do. Look, if she came to me and said she really really, really, really, really wanted to do it. I’d probably say, okay, drink heavily for a couple weeks. And then, you know, eventually get to a place where all right. You know, hopefully it’s out of our system, away we go.
Mallory Gordon 1:13:11
We’re gonna give her the drug dealer model, and they go, but you can’t have any more. Right? Sounds like a great idea. I
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:13:16
don’t know. Like I said, we both. We both been on either side of the conversation, I think we both come to the realization that neither of us would be comfortable in either way, you know, whether it’s, you know, two girls and a guy or two guys and a girl. And
Mallory Gordon 1:13:31
you know that that also says to me, you’re both all in or all out. But you’re in it. It’s together regardless. Yes, I agree. So
Mickey Gordon 1:13:40
that’s, that’s wonderful. And that’s fantastic. Great to say, this is about us. And we both want need to want the same things. And we both want to have the same things. And while I want you to be happy, I need to be comfortable too. And there’s nothing wrong with that. That’s not
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:13:52
not at all. So the interesting thing is, you know, from a sex life perspective, our sex life is fantastic. You know, it’s, you know, I guess, you know, maybe this is a you guys could actually tell me because you’ve spoken obviously to a number of people that are in lifestyle, and you know, how they’ve gotten started ball? Just a few. You hear there. But you know, I think a lot of people get it, like I think we even talked about a little bit earlier, you know, people get a little stale in their marriage a little stale in the bedroom, and you know that it’s a way to spice up what’s going on for some people. And you know, for us, it’s not stale, not even remotely. So it’s,
Mickey Gordon 1:14:35
you know, it’s funny, we started in the lifestyle, we hadn’t even been together a year yet. It wasn’t steel at all. There’s no steel about a relationship and there still isn’t. It was never about that there are a large number of people that get into the lifestyle to replace something that has disappeared, okay. And sometimes that works, but more often than not,
Mallory Gordon 1:14:55
it’s still not there, right? Because it’s displacement or projection at that point. You You’re trying to fill a hole with something else from for what you’re not getting in. And again, I think that absolutely drills down to communication. You said to spice things up, right? I think we all have those untold fantasies that we sit there and maybe we’re masturbating. Maybe it’s a passing thought in an afternoon, maybe it’s while we’re having sex, that is kind of that precipice of, you know, what my ultimate fantasy looks like. And you take in that moment, there’s none of that bullshit, none of that fear. It’s this that raw, physical interaction with all the good feelings that are involved the dopamine that’s that’s running through your veins and the adrenaline. And then after that act, or after you’re done it, it fades away to the back, because logic starts to play a game, right? Like, oh, yeah, that really wouldn’t work because of this. And, you know, I don’t know if I’m actually comfortable with that. But it’s still there’s still a seed in there somewhere. And even if you never act on it, the fact that you can talk about it is still a great thing. But I think a lot of people suppress it, and don’t bring it to the table in conversation. Because having that conversation tells the other person maybe you want to act on it
Mickey Gordon 1:16:21
on a big fat dose. And yeah, which is always fun. So new relationship energy. Yeah, as intership mentor, it’s relationships get older, they start to stale out a little bit, and they become more about doing dishes and putting good time etc, playing bills, and it’s less about you know, that I’m so not sexy, I must have every
Mallory Gordon 1:16:38
necessary but so not sexy.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:16:40
So I think the you know, again, the grab as throughout the day, I think is huge in the kind of
Mallory Gordon 1:16:45
makes a big difference. Yeah. Yeah.
Mickey Gordon 1:16:48
Well, I want to clarify one of my earlier comments where I said, you know, that it’s still not there, and that you can’t spice it up with the lifestyle, you certainly can. Yeah, adding. So just because so I’ll give you a great example, that you know, maybe you’ve been married for a long time, or together for a long time, and you do start to foray into the lifestyle and you discover this meet this amazing attraction for your partner, based on their desires and enjoying watching them be happy and feeling happiness and getting satisfied. And that’s poked in Persian is when you really get happiness from the other person, and the other person’s happiness. And that is totally possible. And that can totally happen in the lifestyle. But what I’m saying is, you can’t use somebody else to replace what isn’t there with your partner. So what I’m saying is, you might get a great deal of satisfaction and find a new way to connect and communicate with your partner in the lifestyle, but you can’t replace what’s broken.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:17:46
Yeah, that makes sense. Makes sense? I think that Yeah, I think that’s where you start running. Big fucking relationships issues. Yeah,
Mallory Gordon 1:17:54
I agree. So can I can I be brutally honest. Probably this is probably lying to you that our friend Jay here is going to like draw really quickly. Some of the, we’d have been having sex for a very long time. And I’ve always been satisfied with our sex life, lifestyle or not. But I’ll tell you what, the first time I came home after playing by myself, when you I would call it you know, reconnecting or taking each other back or whatever you want to describe it with. I will I will be at eight years old with dementia and not forget that that night. That was good.
Mickey Gordon 1:18:36
I mean, you had fun.
Mallory Gordon 1:18:39
You fucked me stupid, but you fucked me and in such a deep, intimate way that it was carnal and almost animalistic, and you know, and I have goosebumps on my arm. That’s a nice thing. Oh, it was crazy. And I didn’t anticipate it. And that was one of the most nerve wracking days of my life.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:18:58
Now, before you went in, and, you know, they reconnected as you said, Were you nervous? Were you like, Did you feel guilty? Is
Mallory Gordon 1:19:08
this weird? Like, it’s like being on the ocean. And it’s like, on the, on the edge of the storm where the waves are really high, and you’re going up and down, but there’s no rain. So it’s kind of odd. You know, there’s a storm there. But you don’t know what it’s gonna be like, you just know like, you’re here. And then you’re here. And then you’re here. The It was a 45 minute drive home. And I was vacillating back and forth. Like either this is gonna be really awesome or really fucking awkward. That’s interesting, because I had never done it before. It took him at his word that this would be a great opportunity to have an experiment and an experience. So why not?
Mickey Gordon 1:19:50
So there’s two ways of looking at it. There’s the if you can’t get what you want with me, then you don’t get it. Right. It’s one way that we’ve always kind of been taught to look at it right. And then there’s the Well, if you can find it, you should have it. Because if I could give it to her, I mean, if she was thirsty and she needed a glass I have a glass right here. Yeah, why shouldn’t I give it to her? Why shouldn’t she be able to have it? Yeah, and doesn’t hurt me. Doesn’t hurt me at all as a matter of fact, she had a great fucking time so
Mallory Gordon 1:20:17
I did have a great time. But having that great time I again I was I was really interested what was going to happen when I got home and boy was I pleasantly surprised. So I knew it was I felt like it was going to be good, but I had no idea it was going to be like, earth shattering good.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:20:39
As as a I’ll say, Mr. vendela sitting here. It’s Oh, yes, it sounds even this conversations a little uncomfortable. I like hearing hearing you talk about it. Like if you know, I’m sitting in Mickey seat. I’m going it’s it’s alien, right? It’s a different, different concept. And yes. Wow, I listen, I admire you guys for being able to do it.
Mallory Gordon 1:21:10
I think we’re scientists at heart like we well, we’ll have form a hypothesis, we’ll test it out, see what the conclusion is and then move on from there.
Mickey Gordon 1:21:19
You know, I don’t want you to get the wrong impression or anybody that’s listening, because honestly, there are people out there that will ultimately listen to this mess that we’ve made here tonight. But we have fuck shit up. We have time have broken some eggs making this cake. Oh, big time big ones. Yeah, and we’ve gotten it wrong. And we’ve had arguments and we’ve miscommunicated and we’ve hurt each other’s feelings. But that’s no different than what you do. When you’re paying bills and talking about kids and getting kids to school on time and making dinner. The same thing happens. The difference is that there’s sex involved. That’s really the biggest difference. Everything else is the same. We still hurt each other’s feelings. We still do things wrong. We still get it right and get it wrong as husbands and wives
Mallory Gordon 1:22:06
not on purpose.
Mickey Gordon 1:22:07
But not on purpose. We don’t do anything maliciously. The thing in this thing I guess as as vanilla looking in as the alabaster scrotum that you are, is that, you know ginger beard.
Mallory Gordon 1:22:20
I like that one. That’s actually kind of cute. Alright, you
Mickey Gordon 1:22:22
can’t Cornelius but I like the scrotum.
Mallory Gordon 1:22:26
I like the scrum too. Are we talking about the same thing
Mickey Gordon 1:22:28
right. Now? Same thing. But you know, for me, I like that. We have really there are no boundaries. And I think that is the difference. And I don’t think you guys have boundaries either. We’ve just expanded ours a little further. That doesn’t make you wrong. Right. I don’t think it makes us wrong, either. I think what I love about YouTube, YouTube is that you’re asking questions, and having the conversation and even though you came to me, that’s not for us. It’s still a fucking awesome thing that you did.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:22:57
But yeah, it’s one of those things, you know, it’s kind of funny, you know, having friends that are in the, in the lifestyle, eat. It helps spice up, you know, we’ll say the vanilla lifestyle a little bit because you know, it, sex is fun to talk about. You know, listen, you know, you helped me, you know, at my, the seat of my edge of my seat, you know, with with a lot of the stories, and, you know, you just sit there and you’re like, amazed at the stuff you bring back from Hito and things along those lines and you go Holy shit, you know, it’s almost like you want to be a fly on the wall or be a drone that just hovers over and just watches sometimes. But yeah, it’s, uh, we’re definitely from our perspective, you know, not vanilla, even though we’re, we’re not the lifestyle. We’re, we’re, we’re open to try just about anything with us with each other
Mallory Gordon 1:23:50
and you got Frankel’s? Yeah.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:23:53
So it’s, uh, you know, I, you know, I respect the people that have the ability to make the relationship work and do what you guys do, because, you know, I know how difficult it is being just the two of us. So imagine trying to just add another layer of, I’ll say interest,
Mallory Gordon 1:24:16
like work, right, doesn’t it?
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:24:19
I, you know, I maybe in the beginning, it is okay. But you know, I think, you know, you guys have been experienced enough where, you know, again, you have your signals, you have your, your likes, your dislikes, you know, you have your boundaries established. So, you know, I would imagine, you know, it’s just like anything, it’s like starting a new job. You know, you’re you’re at first it’s going to be uncomfortable, and there’s a lot to learn, but as you go along, you know, I think I think you make it work and make it work well. And you know, You two seem pleased as punch.
Mallory Gordon 1:24:53
So at least Today we are Yeah, yeah. Yeah, today would be the drinks. I
Mickey Gordon 1:24:57
don’t know. Yeah, there’s some frustrations Mostly when we’ve been on 20 dates and not found somebody that we really enjoy being with me we’re casual swinger for a reason. We’re not super active. We don’t go out just to bang we don’t right look to meet people just to bang. We want to make friends that we have the lifestyle in common with Yeah, you don’t make your friends into swingers you make your swingers indifferent.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:25:20
Okay? That’s interesting. I think that’s that’s Yeah, that’s probably a great way to put it.
Mickey Gordon 1:25:27
It’s it’s a pretty important fucking rule. Honestly. It’s, it’s an it’s one that we kind of cling to, you know,
Mallory Gordon 1:25:33
I have to say, and maybe when we go back and listen to this, it’ll be a different perspective. But I almost feel like we’ve normalized the lifestyle and put our friend Jay on the spot. And we’re like, it’s okay to be normal. It’s totally fine. Like we’ve been past fine and like, comforting him like yeah, it’s cool to be vanilla. Maybe that speaks to the environment and the people we’ve surrounded ourselves
Mickey Gordon 1:25:57
she just made me
Mallory Gordon 1:26:00
I need to go back. I hate myself to be normal. You can’t be weird like the rest of us and that’s totally fine. We still love you for it so
Mickey Gordon 1:26:17
I thought you were gonna peg me later. Hey, packings very popular it is there it is I left see now I said that and now the other Jays gonna be like, See I told you Mickey likes things in his ass. No, I don’t. Which Shay average swingers Okay, Janie Angie, he’s always talking about some ways there’s a lot of Jays so much struggle to walk a little bit today. I’m not gonna lie you kind of were shuffling and kind of funny. You know, it was a long night. But
Mallory Gordon 1:26:44
sorry, actually, if the little prostate massage it takes like no time at all right? Well
Mickey Gordon 1:26:49
saying that’s medically proven. This has been, I don’t know. Casual swinger guys. This has been a lot of fun to just kind of sit down and just talk lifestyle with somebody suit. He’s so fucking vanilla. He’s transparent. A the alabaster scrotum? Jay, thank you for joining us.
Mallory Gordon 1:27:06
Thank you for having me. This has been a lot of fun, for letting me make you squirm a
Mickey Gordon 1:27:10
little. That’s okay. I mean, it really is just kind of an open conversation about the lifestyle with somebody that’s super vanilla, but open minded enough to have the conversation and kind enough to let us sit here and make him feel bad for being the one that’s not in the lifestyle, which nobody pointed out. But I love it. And I think this was really cool. Obviously, he and I’ve been friends a long time. And he’s known a long time. But I love how this conversation came to be and learn a little bit more about your your life with Valerie. So thank you for that.
Mallory Gordon 1:27:39
Yeah. And thank you for loving us and being here with us. Yeah.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:27:46
You guys are fantastic. So you know, again, you know, I I’m a very big proponent of you know, I don’t mind asking questions, like, and, you know, I respect the fact that you will answer them for me, but I will never, you know, I guess push the bad boundaries. Take advantage of that.
Mallory Gordon 1:28:07
You said you probably should.
The Alabaster Scrotum 1:28:09
I’m about certain things about people’s lives should be private and I respect that.
Mickey Gordon 1:28:15
Okay. As always the wordsmith there, Churchill, we appreciate it. Mallory, why don’t you let everybody know where they can find us? We get the hell out of here and let these people off the hook. Oh, second long episode of casuals, you know, at some point,
Mallory Gordon 1:28:27
I think season four you’re going to take over this job. I’m just saying I can never
Mickey Gordon 1:28:31
do this right you
Mallory Gordon 1:28:32
guys we are casual swinger everywhere that is on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. Don’t forget we’re also on the dating sites That’s double date nation as LS SDC cuivre and Cassidy and if you want to send us a note podcast at casual swingers calm and don’t forget, if you love the show, please leave us a review on iTunes.
Mickey Gordon 1:28:55
You know, I still can never do that as well as you can. No matter I think it’s a cop out. I think it’s a cop out. Oh, well. Hey, this has been a fun episode with our friend the alabaster scrotum. His name is Jay and he’s been able to shift. Thanks for joining us guys. You’ve been listening t casuals.
Mallory Gordon 1:29:42
Hi, I’m Venus from the Venus cackle just podcast and I have a special message for all of the single ladies listening. What if you could have a loving, committed partner who wants to stay totally faithful to you, but who would love to see you have incredible experiences with others, it sounds too good to be true, right? It is true. You really can have it all and be loved, celebrated and even put on a pedestal. Learn more at Venus connections.com