Join hosts Mickey and Mallory as they kick off Season 7 with a deep dive into one of the most challenging aspects of lifestyle relationships: when partners have different play styles, needs, and desires. In this candid episode, they explore “The Great Divide” – what happens when couples grow in different directions within the lifestyle, and how to navigate these differences without letting them destroy your relationship.
Topics Covered:
- Understanding why couples grow apart (lifestyle and vanilla)
- The difference between DTF and connection-based play styles
- Navigating polyamory vs. swinging dynamics within one relationship
- Solo travel and independent play in committed relationships
- Finding four-way connections when you have different needs
- Communication strategies for bridging lifestyle divides
- Why keeping score destroys relationships
- The importance of “pebbling” and giving each other flowers
Plus: Whiskey of the Month returns with Wild Turkey Rare Breed – the bourbon that changed barrel-proof whiskey forever!
Upcoming Events Mentioned:
- Casual Swinger Week at Hedonism II (March 14-21, 2026)
- Groove Cruise 2027
- Cap d’Agde, France adventure
This podcast contains adult content and is intended for mature audiences. The Casual Swinger is a variety show covering lifestyle topics, travel, events, and real talk about non-monogamy.
Show Notes:
[00:00] – Introduction & Season 7 Reboot
- New music, new episode art, fresh start
- Why Season 6 didn’t go as planned
- Getting back to their roots
[03:30] – Recent Adventures
- X Club Toronto: New Year’s Eve & Jake’s birthday celebration
- Mickey’s DJing journey (“the new midlife crisis”)
- Mallory’s solo trip to Be Better at Being Bad (Naughty Gym’s event)
- The transformative power of solo travel in the lifestyle
[15:00] – Upcoming Events
- Casual Swinger Week at Hedonism II (March 14-21, 2026) – casualswingerweek.com
- Cate’s Miami event (Memorial Day weekend)
- Cate’s Scottsdale event (October, Mickey’s birthday)
- Groove Cruise 2026 & 2027
- Cap d’Agde, France
- Toronto X Club return
[20:00] – THE GREAT DIVIDE: Main Topic
What is The Great Divide?
- How people grow apart in relationships (55% of divorces over 50 are due to “irreconcilable differences”)
- The lifestyle version: when play styles, desires, and needs diverge
- Why this isn’t about divorce – it’s about navigation
Common Lifestyle Divides:
- DTF vs. connection-based players
- Polyamory-aligned vs. swinging-focused partners
- Different levels of sexual adventurousness
- Kink/fetish compatibility issues
- The “real unicorn”: finding genuine four-way connections
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Backfilling:
- ✅ Good: Replacing flaky vanilla friends with lifestyle friends who value your time
- ✅ Good: Choosing workouts and self-care over passive activities
- ❌ Bad: Seeking physical touch from lifestyle friends because you don’t get it at home
- ❌ Bad: Complaining about your partner to others for validation
- ❌ Bad: Using drugs, alcohol, or attention-seeking to fill emotional voids
How to Navigate The Divide:
- Find mutual ground
- Focus on what you agree on, not just differences
- Don’t keep score
- Quid pro quo thinking destroys relationships
- Practice “pebbling”
- Give each other flowers and little wins to stay connected
- Communicate honestly
- Even when it’s uncomfortable
- Allow for parallel roads
- You don’t always need to be on the same path, just alongside each other
- Take time and space
- Sometimes you need to pause and process before continuing the conversation
- Seek outside resources
- Therapy, podcasts, books, community support
Key Insights:
- “Do I need to follow you there, or can I be on a parallel road alongside you?”
- The hardest person to say “no” to is someone you care about
- If you’re keeping score, you’re already at a deficit
- Solo experiences can strengthen your primary relationship
- Different doesn’t mean doomed – it means you need to communicate more
[55:00] – Clarification on “DTF”
- Addressing feedback from previous episode
- DTF isn’t disparaging – it’s just a different play style
- Some people have more “gates” to go through before feeling sexy/safe
- Neither approach is better or worse
[60:00] – Whiskey of the Month: Wild Turkey Rare Breed
The History:
- Rippy Distillery origins (1869)
- Survived Prohibition through medicinal whiskey license
- The hunting trip that named Wild Turkey (1940)
- Jimmy Russell’s legacy (Master Distiller since 1967)
Why Rare Breed Changed Everything:
- First mass-produced barrel-proof bourbon (1991)
- Released during bourbon’s “dark ages” when everyone was watering down whiskey
- No water added, no chill filtration, no compromises
- Paved the way for today’s barrel-proof category
Tasting Notes:
- High rye content = spicy
- Deep char (Level 4)
- Long, warm finish with “Kentucky hug”
- Intentionally unpolished
- Not for bourbon beginners
Jimmy Russell’s Philosophy: “We don’t make it for people who don’t like bourbon.”
[70:00] – Wrap-Up & How to Connect
Find The Casual Swinger Podcast:
- Website: casualswinger.com
- Email: [email protected]
- Instagram, YouTube, X, TikTok: @casualswinger
- Community: connectcasual.com (FREE for Casual Swinger Week attendees!)
Casual Swinger Week Details:
- March 14-21, 2026 at Hedonism II
- Limited rooms remaining
- Book at: casualswingerweek.com
- Includes 1-year free access to Connect Casual community ($50/person value)
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