The Obligatory Origin Story

 

S01E01 – CasualSwinger – The Obligatory Origin Story

Thu, 9/2 9:54AM • 50:56

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

lifestyle, people, swinger, club, casual, friends, talking, part, life, fun, parties, alternative lifestyle, podcast, feel, couple, conversation, hear, woman, met, experience

SPEAKERS

Mickey Gordon, Mallory Gordon

 

Mickey Gordon  00:09

Welcome to casual swinger. If you’re under 18, the following podcast is not appropriate for you. The subjects and language are for mature audiences only. If you’re not mature in nature, just make sure you’re old enough to vote. We don’t take ourselves seriously ever. No guarantees given regarding the accuracy of any opinions or statements made on this podcast or website or a blog. It’s all in fun, folks. This isn’t Dr. Phil. Now consider yourself a listener properly advised. season one episode one kind of a big deal. Welcome to casual swinger, everybody. I’m Bonnie and Clyde. I know those names are a little out there, right. Famous duo’s in all famous studios that are not copyrighted by anybody else. You know what it is to pick a pseudonym in this world? It is it is but we’re here. And we’re ready to jump into this thing. So first recording for you guys. Hope you guys are ready. And to hear a little bit about what we’re up to. You tell him by Yeah. Well, we hope you enjoy our series of podcasts. And just so you know, you can find us just about anywhere under casual swinger at WWW dot casual swinger.com casual swinger on Instagram, Twitter. Cassidy, SLS air, we’re kind of all over the place so and you know we’re growing so you might find us in other places with anywhere you find casual swinger, you’re probably gonna find us but the safest place in the world to do it is right there on our website at www dot agile swinger Comm. You can send us emails, on your pictures, stories, but more importantly, your questions, comments. That’s really what we want. Yeah, suggestions is, we’re new at this. And it’s going to be a bit of a train wreck. But I think we’re good with that. train wrecks are fun. That’s kind of how we build our way through life. Right? We didn’t fuck it up. We didn’t learn anything. Yeah, right. It’s it’s really RML Oh, well, let’s kick this off. So let’s start with since we’re talking about origins here, what is a casual swinger? Oh, wow, yeah. What is a casual swinger? Well, I think cancels fingers kind of all of us, right? I mean, everybody starts out. And of course, if you’re listening to podcasts, or you’re reading or you’re, you’re on any of the sites, and we’ll just use SLS and Cassidy since those are the guys that we take part in. It looks like everybody’s got a lot of time for this, right? Like they’re always traveling somewhere doing something exotic. keto? Oh, yeah, I get a little bit of jealousy there. For the amount of frequency, I see some of these people on our mutual friends. They’re able to go out and participate and do these things. But right, and we tried, right? I mean, we said, oh, we’re gonna we’re gonna join a club. And we’re gonna go all the time. And we’re going to be all these cool people. And we’re going to lock her kids in the closet with some granola bars and hope for the best. Right? But the dogs Oh, well, the dogs let the kids out. And then all hell broke loose. Don’t get smart dogs. No, it’s, it really is difficult to make the time to be a pro at this. And I don’t think anybody really is we’re all just trying to make the time while we live our regular lives and have vanilla friends, which I mean, there’s a whole episode there on how to deal with vanilla friends. Right? Because they all go Why don’t you have time for me anymore? Because our new friends, they have sex with us. And it’s awesome. Eric’s a little awkward it you know, dinner parties and birthdays. But uh, there’s no doubt about it is there’s definitely some awkwardness here. So I think it’s fair to say that this speaks to our lifestyle, you know, casual when we can fit it in. We’ve both been in the pursuit of pleasure and happiness and lifestyle for what the better part of 11 years now. Oh, yeah. Living together. Holy moly. Together. We’ve been together for 12 years, and we’ve been in the lifestyle for 11. So that’s part of today’s story. So what is the title of today’s episode? We’re like 40 minutes in and I’m just getting to it, which is the obligatory origin story. Every superhero has an origin story, and they have to tell that before they can get to all the reasons why they’re a bad Oh, I love that you’re painting yourself as a superhero. No, promise. I’m the Damascus rescue. You’re the hero. She was getting to Cape guys. That was not my impression. Other first time that lifestyle was mentioned to me. Well, yeah, so let’s just get this out of the way right now. I am not a smart man. All right, I do a lot of stupid things.

 

04:51

I beg to differ. I beg to differ here but highly intelligent man who lacks common sense at times or Hey Tommy maybe a little off. Oh, I’m an idiot.

 

Mickey Gordon  05:04

So, little history here we were dating long distance approximately 1000 miles from each other. It was a long drive. A long drive very late, a lot of effort. Well, well worth it. But you’re telling me Oh my god, the blow John’s. After a wonderful evening out and spending time together in these rare moments that we get to see each other, my husband, now my boyfriend at the time, decides to look at me lovingly, and provide me with all these wonderful compliments and proceed to tell me that I’d make a great swinger. I am so stupid. So at the time, I’m in my early to mid 20s. I only have ever heard of swinging in the movies, and maybe in passing, I’ve had some experiences now that he didn’t really know how to, you know, handle prior to that, or what it really was, but to look into his eyes and go, what the fuck did you just say, was, was literally my immediate reaction. I was grossly offended. And looking back. It’s hilarious. I love you. I appreciate the introduction. But that was definitely a stumble, there are a lot of ways to introduce your significant other to the lifestyle. There are so many ways, and they on the list of those ways. Nowhere will you find, hey, you’d make a great swinger that I I don’t know what I was thinking. I mean, you were great in the sec. I mean, we had some kinks going on, even though we were just getting started in greasing the surface of what it would turn out to be. But I was like this perfect. Like, what is he talking about? I can tell you out to like his friends and co workers like, what does this mean? I remember sitting down with my girlfriends and going okay, so this thing happened. And I don’t know what to do. And across the board it was dumped this guy? Well, yeah,

 

06:58

I don’t blame him necessarily. Plus, your friends. Were bitches. Not open minded at the time. I will say. I love women, by the way. Yeah, I’m just saying they were making a joke. It was a mixed bag. At the time, there was definitely a mixed bag of you know, the Oh, no. Well, okay, so let’s let’s let’s line up the defense for the accused. Because I feel like judge Swapna

 

Mickey Gordon  07:22

Right. I mean, I feel like it’s important that we address the fact that you had lined up a threesome for us. And my friend fucked it up for me by not leaving as a great time. It was really good. I was keep in mind, though, I was so naive to that kind of openness, because you were the first real taste of it that I’d ever had, as far as conversation and day to day life. Now, I had instances like that that happened prior, but it was never really talked about it just kind of happened. And then he pretended like it didn’t. Right. So that kind of brings us to an interesting point, right where I was in the lifestyle prior to meeting Bonnie. And it was, it was it was a mixed bag for me. Right, I had done a lot of interesting things. But I don’t think that I had really experienced somebody that was as much fun and as open as she was. And so I was really interested and excited about expanding that part of our relationship. And it kind of led to me opening my mouth at the wrong time. And, you know, having been in the lifestyle before, the thing that I wanted to bring to her was the great relationships that you created, because I still had friends that I had met in a previous relationship. And we were still friends, you know, even though the lifestyle aspect of it had gone away, we were still friends. And that was kind of a big part for her. And I were I think she was a little nervous. Because I was very honest with her. When we first started dating, I said, Hey, by the way, I’ve done all these things. I’ve been to Hito which she didn’t even know what he did was, well, that’s changed. But I’m away from home at this point. Yeah, but you know, so it was it was very weird for me to you know, dump all this all on her at once. But it was so important for me to be honest. and say, Look, this isn’t something that I have to have to be happy with you. But it is part of who I am. And some of these friends that I’ve had. So you’re gonna hear stories, you’re gonna hear conversations that might be a little more open about sex and about life and that you’re you’re used to with your friends, because people in the lifestyle, they are a little more open, right? I mean, they these wide open, emotional relationships. They’re enabled by the lifestyle. They’re not because of it, but they’re definitely enabled by it. Absolutely. And I think it provides a deeper connection with each other whether it’s your partner or a friend or a partner, right so but I wouldn’t change how that happened for the world is as funny as it is now and as hard as it was to deal with. You know, me asking the point blank questions because now you’ve opened Pandora’s box in my mind. as scared as I was, I was very interested about learning more, because that was such a big part of you, or a very important part of you. And, you know, to lock it up and throw it away would have been, you know, fatal to our relationship. I’m sure I looked at this as an opportunity to really, really get to know you on a deeper level. And I have to say it’s worked out fantastically. Yeah, it’s, I think the question that you followed that up with Bruce was the fear I think everybody has. Fear is part of being human right? Fear. I just had this conversation with one of our kids the other day, that fear is an acronym. Fear stands for false evidence appearing real. And so we talked about that for a long time. And then you and I had a very similar conversation, because the first thing you said to me, so you want to have sex with someone other than me. You know, this is your first response. Yeah, it’s not, hey, I get to have sex with somebody else. It’s a way to, you want to fuck somebody? Who, right who’s this bitch, I’m killer. Never lead back whenever you like, sharpen your claws? No, it’s not true at all. But I was very skeptical. I was I thought of this in a vacuum. Right? Without any other, you know, research or no one anyone else that had pursued this lifestyle. Now, I will say, the best friends I’ve ever made in my life are a direct result of meeting someone in the lifestyle. And these are people that we really haven’t had sex with prior. Yeah, that’s true. I mean, literally, my best friend I met and didn’t even know she had been in the lifestyle until it came up in conversation one day in our backyard. Yeah, so it was pretty much my fault, right? Because I didn’t tell you before you moved in with me that my neighbors were in the lifestyle. Oops. All right. And you know what, though, it couldn’t have worked out more perfectly, because we’d already gotten to know each other and formed this bond. And then he just created a much deeper and meaningful relationship, because then I also had someone from a female perspective, giving me answers and advice, and, you know, heartache, on what it brought to her table in her life. And I’ve never seen someone laugh so hard when I told her what happened with the first time you mentioned something to me, I believe we rolled around in the yard holding our ankles because it was that funny at the time. I have done some hilariously stupid things in my life. And that is definitely near the top. Well, at least in terms of risk to myself, right? Because I was madly in love with this girl sitting right here across from me, I still am. I love you to pumpkin. But it you know, I wanted to share that part of my life with her so much because it had been so fulfilling for me to make those friends and create those relationships. And I desperately wanted to go back to Hito. So at some point we’ll talk about and what it means to us. That’s probably gonna be a whole episode talking about heat. Oh, at

 

13:02

least at least. Yeah. And

 

Mickey Gordon  13:05

but yeah, the, the freedom of it all. freeing yourself, your your, your true self was even more than a cross. Right? It was, you know, revelation for me. And I never thought I could be this better version of myself. So thank you for that. Oh, yeah. You’re welcome. It’s been a joy. Pleasure. Pleasure. So tell me I mean, so we’ve talked about, you know, being a casual swinger. And by the way, all the people that we’ve talked about thus far, who we love so much, and we miss them because we moved away. All of those folks. We never played with them. Right? We just hung out. And we had lots of different friends that we made through the lifestyle. And I think that’s probably my favorite part is the the friendships. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we’ve certainly had our experiences, we’re actually going to cover one of those for you here, closer to the end of the cast. But we’ve had a lot of really great times, but those relationships are the best. And so we moved and we moved to, you know, pretty much the center of Florida. We don’t mind people knowing that we live in Florida.

 

14:12

Now, especially if we’re rubbing it in and it’s snowing where you’re at right now, we live in Florida,

 

Mickey Gordon  14:17

if you’re in Canada in your life sucks. I’m very sorry. Really, it’s 85 degrees and beautiful here right now and no hurricanes, because I know that’s what you’re gonna say. But anyway, the point is, we move down here, and we’re like, we’re only going to make friends that are lifestyle friendly. And the result is that, you know, 18 months later, we don’t have any friends. So casual comes into play here. taking on a new place, new environment, new people, has proved to be a little challenging. So part of this podcast is to encourage the two of us to get out there and meet more people and make the most of what life has to offer because we have had those wonderful tastes of the lifestyle and the people that are available inside that community. And that community is more expansive than it’s ever been. I have to go ahead and give a shout out to everyone that has reached out to us over social media to encourage and welcome us to this podcast community, specifically in the lifestyle and alternative lifestyles. So Oh, God, absolutely. Especially me, right? I’m the tech guy. I’m the nerd. I don’t work on the website. I do all the geeky stuff. And I know, it’s not a positive picture, but I promise I don’t look like a nerd. Oh, yeah, he does all the work. He does all the heavy lifting. I’m basically Vanna White, or you know, the flagger on the background. Yeah. So if you didn’t know how old I was, he just stated myself, you’re much much hotter than Vanna. She’s in a wheelchair. I say jack looks like Mr. Burns. Kind of standing there looking decrepit, and live responded, nothing against live response, if that’s your thing, but of course, naturally, right. I mean, that we moved to this new neighborhood. And we’re all excited. And we tried to make some new friends across the street and the second friends we made turns out, they are in the lifestyle, too. They are, they are that was one of the best conversations and standing in the driveway talking to you know, the neighbors across the street about going to this party that they were hosting the other neighbors and telling us that Whoo, you’re going because you don’t know. They’re SW II, and G e r SS. They have two and three year old children. I doubt they can spell but the fact that they spelled it out to emphasize the fact that they thought these guys were swingers. My instinct was to take four steps back right into the house and meet the other neighbors as soon as possible. Exactly. That was our plan. We’re like, Well, shit, now we have to go. Just to figure out for ourselves. Right. So that was the whole Halloween party for us when we went out to see those guys. And this is last year’s Halloween, of course. And, again, super cool. We like them a lot. And I think we just went bowling with them last weekend. They’re they’re freaking awesome. So we love hanging out with those guys. And it’s I just think it’s funny that you know, we moved to a new neighborhood and second people we meet are in the lifestyle which is exactly last time I bought a house hack. The second couple I met that lived in the neighborhood ended up being lifelong friends and in the lifestyle so I think it’s meant to be much like this podcast was meant to be because we were able to get everything we needed. And much like you and I were meant to be. I think this is all just kind of coming together nicely. I love coming together.

 

17:18

I love coming together as well. Yeah, it’s it’s a lot of fun, but cute music,

 

Mickey Gordon  17:24

everyone. But so we’re going to take this opportunity to take a quick segment, break, grab a drink of water, we’re gonna come back and jump into our next topic. But that is how I screwed up inviting my beautiful wife into the lifestyle. But 11 years later, well, sometimes I have to chase her down. She’s a bit of a camp counselor. Let’s get this party started. Let me go grab my hat. My pompoms is that all you’re gonna wear? Cuz that’s fine. Do it. We’ll be right back. Hey, baby while we’re on a break, why don’t you tell everybody what they can expect on casual swinger. Since we’re talking about beginnings, and it’s our first podcast and we’re talking about origins here, let’s just set some expectations for our listeners out there. Things you can anticipate from us casual swinger are stories of our adventures, trips, we are taking trips, we’ve been on people we’ve met, parties, we’re going to events, all of those and advice and experiences all wrapped into one. So now back to origins. We’re going to kick this off with a story about how I got my feet wet for the very, very first time. And the lifestyle. Yeah, that was a good time. It was a great day. expectations were well exceeded, but definitely not par for the course that actually scared the crap out of me, right? Because this this, we hit it out of the park. I mean, we’re talking like Barry Bonds crushed it. Her first time going to a club. And I was like, Oh, no, this is so bad. Because it’s never gonna be like this. Again, this never happens. This is Oh, no. And she was having such a good time. And she looked at me with this wild eyed gaze like a kid of their first time at Disney World. And she was like, This is the coolest, this is the best. I can’t wait. We’re gonna do this every day. It’s pretty much the best descriptor because I stood up and I was like, and again, and I want to write it again. And I want to go again. And this is going to be like this every time and I can’t wait. And where am I pompoms? And I guess the best part right is that we like everybody else that has a great experience. I think we screwed like crazy for maybe two weeks after and you’re like we gotta go back to the club. We got to get back we got it. We got to do now I gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta go and I’m like, Oh, my God, shut up. We’ll get there. But, you know, it’s interesting. So the way we started this thing, right? I mean, once we got past my stupidity, which we’ve covered Already, as we created an account on SLS, and you know, I’m a part time writer. So I wrote a profile for us that got a lot of attention. And it was a lot of fun. And it was really captured who we are as casual swingers. Yeah. And that was really fun in of itself to taking the pictures and they’re just descriptors of each other. And oh, my God, I love those pictures. Our first profile pictures are some of my favorites that I’ve ever taken. Because she put on a little fashion show for me. We had some great lighting, and they just came out so good. And she had these great outfits. And are you getting harder? I got a little bit about it. I can see it in your eye. Yeah, very much avoided. voyer is definitely on my list of kinks along with a few others. Not that voyer I think is counselor kingpin. Definitely. Yeah. So we digress. So so so I have this profile, and we meet a couple. And they’re having we’re all having great conversation. This seemed like a lot of fun. There’s my local, and it happens to be there’s a club halfway between each of us because it was quite a distance at the time when we started that remember, like when we first got into the lifestyle every everybody? There were 500 miles away. Yeah. I was like, What the hell and it turned to grow wings? Well, it turns out that the part of the Mid Atlantic we lived in was Puritan I guess. And there are no clubs allowed in that state. The only thing you have is hotel parties. And private right. That’s the so we had to make the trek. Yeah, it was it was at least two hours. So there was there was commitments there waiting. Yeah. So I mean, there’s no shame no shame in giving these guys a shout out. Our first experience, real live experience was at taboo, thanks to a couple we met on SLS. Yeah, but we didn’t plan to meet him there. They just we just happened to be there at the same time. And it was hilarious because we had talked about meeting there at some point, but hadn’t really pulled the cord. They came up to us. They were like, Hey, you guys are blocked, which by the way, our first profile name is a no, no, we’re gonna get into profiles and another cast. But our first national ad today, I can’t go there today. And it’s all her fault. Just so you know. Yeah. I fucked up too. So, but they came up said, Hey, you guys are blah. So I said, Yeah, you guys are your username. I don’t want to out them here. Because I’m not trying to be rude. But it does make a bit of a point. That, you know, I, they told us their username. And I said, What does that mean? And they said that their name, they kind of describe the definition of the word. And if I give it to you, it’s obviously going to help them. But they misspelled it. They misspelled it grossly badly in every conceivable way. Hence, I didn’t know what their username meant. But I think it brought a level of charm to that conversation, right? It, it broke the ice. It opened up that conversation. And before we knew it, we’re surrounded by 10 or 12 people, we’re all laughing, dancing, the clothes are coming off, we’re drinking. It was just a magical time. And we look around and other people are trying to figure out how this group keeps growing and what’s going on inside of this circle. He really wanted to know what was in the middle of that group. But what was in the middle was people just getting to know each other and having a great time and laughing their asses off. That doesn’t happen in clubs that often clubs. I think the first thing I hear about every club when I ask a random person is Oh, it’s clicky I think every club has got that reputation for some reason. Because once you get to know people, you go there you see them and you talk to them. Right? It’s not a click right. You know, but it happens. And I think everybody thought we were a click and I’m like I guys we just met tonight. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I think the trick when you know going to the club for the first time is to be open and introduce yourself and, and be friendly and smile and it and then it’ll happen you’ll meet people. So and meeting these people and having a great time. You know, things started to escalate. And I knew it I knew it in my gut that this was the right place the right time. Everyone seemed to be on board. So I’m perceived to walk a group. I think it started with eight we had eight on board total including you and me Should we love paper a pervert loves to at the top of the stairs, and we go down to the play area. So now there are six, six people, and I am literally counting hence making sure everyone’s Okay, I have never been this extroverted in my life prior I did not know this woman. Yeah, it was it was liberating to say the least. So we get a room. And we all proceed to go in there and have a great time. One of my favorite memories is me lying on my back in the middle of this bed, and five sets of hands all over my body. Like I still fantasize about that today. Can I watch? Yeah, I was one of them guys. But you know, I think we jumped ahead just a tick because one of the great things about taboo if you guys are in the Baltimore area definitely have to check this club out because they’re super clean area of cages and a great bar and the owners are cool as hell. So definitely a shout out for the folks that taboo Oh, absolutely. They’re downstairs area, which is named after Vicki, one of the owners. I’m pretty sure it’s Vicki, if I remember, it’s in that poll player, they have all of these rooms and at first rate is new. As a new swinger. I think one of the things that you were kind of shocked by was all the different styles of room rate. They had the, the, like the gynecologist corner look like a doctor’s office, they had a bond, the bondage room, I was like, What are all these magnificent apparatuses that are hearing? They’re semi frightening. And what do you do with this? Like I wanted entire education. They’re like, we’re having a seminar in two weeks. Do you have too many questions for What do you mean, you will have to come back and they had a theme room in the room that we ended up in was actually a exhibition room. Yeah, that had a big wide open, which I didn’t know at the time when they pick the room. It completely the window quote, unquote, the window part of it didn’t even occur to me. So I believe we got to wrap it up. Applause we did, we left the room, which was pretty cool. But I have all these these really cool rooms. And you know, the neat part is they have a host there that helps you pick a room based on your size. And because we had as many people as we did, because of the Pied Piper here. We definitely had to get one of the larger rooms and when we ended up in that pile, you know, I mean, I was it will initially anyway, I was standing with the other two guys were standing back and we all still have our clothes on and the girls are completely nude. And they are just going to town on each other. It was three girls licking and sucking and we’re all just kind of like a slack jawed watching these girls go at it.

 

26:31

And you know, we were laughing at you guys.

 

Mickey Gordon  26:34

Bonnie turned around, and she’s like, okay, they’re entirely too many pants on in this room. And within maybe three seconds we were we It was literally like we were ripping off a leisure suit. It was Wow. You guys might as well head the Velcro down the theme. event as it was like everybody gets your dicks out. Let’s do this. So next thing you know, you know, there’s there’s six people piled up in that bed. And it was a very intense experience. The bow chicka Wow. Oh, yeah. And you know what? Yeah, there was one guy had a little performance anxiety. I guess he didn’t buy swinger insurance that night, but well, and other than the one couple that was down there with us. It was everyone’s first time as couple that’s true is the very first time. Yeah, so a bunch of essentially first timers. Because while it was actually the other couple, it was their, like, first official time for everything, right? Because they had you know, everyone, when you go in, you have your rules. And you know, you’re trying to figure out your boundaries and what you like and what you don’t like. So everyone was pretty much new. So all these new people happen to find each other an hour or more away from home at the same place and the same night and all managed to buy click and get it on lightning struck. Okay. I mean, because it’s in you know, when you when you start having that boundaries conversation, what do you okay with duty, okay, with when new that new? I mean, that conversation can take longer than this exercise. Right? Exactly. And that’s it, this may be the one and only instance in the lifestyle that I can say that I that I was, I’ve been I’ve been able to perform in such a short amount of time, because typically speaking, it’s very hard for me to feel confident, secure, and gauge my level of interest to what I like to do with this person, if we’re going to pursue that in one evening. Now, today, it seems preposterous. But I think with all the buildup and all the talks we’ve been having about it and knowing these people from online, I think it helped kind of, you know, for lack of a better term, pop my cherry and push me over the edge. Right. Well, in that experience, right. And we’re just talking about hands and touching, kissing and oral and there was no, there was no, you know, penetrative sex. No, no, no, no, there was just not at the club. Because we when we went back upstairs, and one of the couples went their own way, and we hung out with the other two. That’s right column. TNA. Yeah. And we hung out with TNA the rest of the night. And then they went back to our hotel with us. That’s right. And you had sex with another man

 

29:11

for the very first time. Yeah, that was the first time.

 

Mickey Gordon  29:16

It was all on the same night all on the same night. We were up till like 5am We were so tired.

 

Mallory Gordon  29:22

I don’t remember sleeping that night. To be honest. I remember breakfast. So bouncing up not too hard, because I think it was a little sore. Yeah, he did some work. Yeah. Well, so did you.

 

Mickey Gordon  29:36

But yeah, I mean, so why we bring that first time up is talk about setting the bar, right setting expectations. Holy shit. I mean, that’s, I mean, she looked at me the next day, of course, like I said a little while ago, you know, but we got to do it again of why I like this is the coolest thing ever. And I’m like, Look, that is probably never going to happen again. I mean, that’s you literally have to try to make that happen. I was so free. No, like, I just wanted to rip every piece of clothing I had on my body. Every time I had it on and run through the streets screaming, I love swinging. But and I’ve heard some not so good first time story. So I’m very grateful and feel very fortunate than mine was, you know, you know, fireworks said, you know, the land of the mouse. Yeah, I think in any alternative lifestyle, which at some point, I think I’m going to be blessed in my life and then not have to refer to this as alternative lifestyle, because it’s not alternative. It’s who we are. And it’s who I’ve always been. I mean, the first time I ever took a swipe at something that was lifestyle related, I was 1617. You know, so I mean, I’ve been this way, my whole life. I’ve always I’ve never had a jealous bone in my body, which is one of the things that you know, that night in the club, we all talked about, you know, do you have jealousy issues? Because I think as a lifestyle person, that you know, it amplifies the good and the bad about your relationship? Oh, absolutely. I think everyone is capable of jealousy. I think that’s part of our human nature. It’s how we deal with it. That’s the most important part. Oh, yeah. And well, and being able to identify that that’s what you’re feeling is pretty tough. I can tell you that there are people that I’ve known in my lifetime, including my wife, they just think it’s impossible for me to get jealous, I promise you. It’s not. It is not impossible for me to get jealous. But I have to remind myself of who I am and who we are. And then I just get in the moment and try to enjoy you doing your thing, whether it’s watching or hearing about it later. You know, it’s, that’s fun for me. And so we’ve done a lot of things in the 10 years that’s passed since then. But not nearly as much as somebody might think. We we do take breaks, we spend time on each other. We have date nights, we, we you know, try and do kinky things together. Sometimes it’s just, you know, coming up with fun things to talk about those times those things that you do, I think that they’re fun to go back and reminisce on them. I mean, we were looking at each other while we’re doing this, we’re like, wow, that was so cool. It’s it’s pretty neat. You know? And so the question I think I would pose to you that I’m curious how you feel and I think our listener might we might have one or listener might be sound negative people optimistic. Thank you everyone who’s out there listening. Right? Right. So it’s our first one so in as many as we can get, but you know, they’re probably interested to know when it comes to jumping in what what stopped you What made you not want to and what made you want to, um, my own body image and insecurities about myself, my personality or my level of intelligence are kind of like what you feel after a breakup and you start dating again, those are the types of insecurities I was I was feeling like, just you know, what if people are into me, what if I’m not this enough? What if I’m too much of this? What if I’m not good at it? What if there’s, you know, someone falls in love with me or like it? There were so many things running through my head at the time, you know, I didn’t know basically my astral my elbows and how to deal with all of those emotions, but segregating and compartmentalizing and like dealing with them one on one and talking about them. And having that open line of communication really helps. So. So that was the not so good things, right? What made me want to was that sense of adventure, something I learned about myself, is I love the opportunity to have a new experience in life. And that scales across every facet of my being, whether it’s traveling to a new place, or maybe trying a new kink, or, you know, phase something of that nature. So that’s actually something or the appeal for me. Remember, when we had the conversation when you said, Look, I love trying new things. But what if I’m hitting quit? What if I just do it once? I’m like, Okay, did that and I don’t ever want to do it again. Are you going to be okay with that? And this is a conversation she she had with me, are you going to be okay? With if if I do it once and never want to do it again? Yeah, yeah. What if it’s not my thing? What if I don’t feel as strongly about this as you do? That was a big concern, because I didn’t want to take something away from you, that you enjoyed, because I did not. And I didn’t know what the solution was. And so when we talked about how incredibly foolish and silly it was, for me to approach it the way that I did. It was really refreshing for me to see her embrace the I, you know, the opportunity, I the ideals that I was talking about, and not just see it as me wanting to sleep with somebody else, because that definitely wasn’t the case. And yes, I brought it up. And I know that that probably happens more often than people would like, but when that usually happens, it’s usually a dude that just wants a threeway. Right? And yeah, I didn’t know I didn’t know at the time what the angle was on that or what it was. So I think well balanced. Poor timing, and very, very raw delivery, right of the subject matter and just be nice. So I think you’ve I think you’ve always thought it was a little, I don’t know, out of the box that I get off more on what you do than what I do. Now as much today as then, you know, because again, it was all new. Yeah, but that’s also part of the excitement that I’m nervous ball of energy that you get when you’re about to do something that you maybe have a little bit of, you know, reservation or fear about, you know, I attributed to you know, the the twins before you jump out of a plane when you’re going, you know, skydiving I’ve never been in, I never will go, that’s probably the closest I will ever get because I don’t do heights. I digress. But I love that part of it. You do it on a plane if you could you go up in the plane, if you could bang it out. I would totally get in the plane to bang it out. But I’m not jumping out of my own freewill. I mean if the planes on fire and that’s my only choice of exit and potential survival. Then game on give me a parachute, motherfucker. Let’s do this. The fastest one and Cindy are exactly. But yeah, I love that part. And that was part of the appeal moving forward for me as well, is finding you know, there’s different parts of me and what I like and boundaries and new fetishes and kinks and people. People are fantastic. There’s no to like it. We wrote our own wedding vows, much to the pleasure of the people that came to our wedding. We keep hearing that our wedding was the funniest wedding they’ve ever been to. And they had more fun in the shortest. It was like nine minutes. Nine minutes beat bad guys. I can’t wait. You can’t even beat that shit in Vegas. But we we wrote our own vows. And we didn’t put anywhere on our ballots that we promised to be faithful because we have no word obey. I tried hard to get obey in there. I even went so far as to say obey your master. But there’s no way that I can. Yeah, my best friend was our efficient. So if you heard a bleep just a second ago, that’s because she used it. But I’ve done it to her like three or four times in the last 37 minutes. So my apologies if you hear the Bleep that’s what it’s for. Because it’s our first time it’s a train wreck, and there’s going to be a few blips here and there. We love our train wreck though this has been fun for us so far. Yeah, this has definitely been a lot of fun and a learning experience for us. Listen, before we jump to our next segment, feel free to reach out to us on the web at www casuals swinger Comm. Send us your feedback, comments and questions. You can find us just about anywhere under a casual swinger on Twitter, Insta SLS and Cassidy calm. Yeah, we want to hear about your first time we want to hear about your experiences. And you know if it’s a good one, we’ll probably talk about it because I think everybody’s got a story, right? And we like to keep it positive around here. So tell us how much fun he had an intelligence what it meant to your relationship, especially if you’ve been added a little while whether you’re a first timer, a third timer, or a 300 timer. It’s it’s all about you here. Definitely. And if it didn’t go so well to please tell us. We love to find that. Well, please tell us what you learn from it. All right. So we’ve got a couple of segments that we’re going to do as we go through casual swinger here and occasionally, depending on what happens, right, whether it’s lifestyle in the news, we have cocktail corner,

 

38:30

we do and i i’d love to do a Florida man segment just because the supply is running match.

 

Mickey Gordon  38:38

So we’re gonna have Florida man, Florida man is going to be the crazy stupid shit that happens in Florida. So we’re going to talk about that a little bit. Sometimes it might be oriented sexually or lifestyle. Sometimes it’s not. But that’ll be Florida, man. And then the last one is Bonnie’s toy box.

 

38:52

I love my toy box. Actually. It’s poor on our boxes. That’s because we spend a lot of money on sex toys,

 

Mallory Gordon  38:58

because they spend a lot of time using them as well. Oh, well. There’s also sharing Sharing is caring.

 

Mickey Gordon  39:04

Oh, absolutely. That’s right. When we go to Hito we give away a lot of sex toys

 

Mallory Gordon  39:07

we do. I’m all about enabling my my friends there to have the best life they possibly can and it’s literally equipped. Yes, she’s run, brother and yeah, it vibrates, gyrates, and,

 

Mickey Gordon  39:22

yeah, if it’ll make, she’ll use it pretty much. Anyway, that’s alright, so we’re gonna get on to our next segment. What segment are we going to do today?

 

Mallory Gordon  39:31

I believe we’re doing lifestyle on the news.

 

39:33

All right, we’re gonna do lifestyle in the news. So what’s the news article that we’re going to talk about? I don’t know. You found it. Okay, fair point. I didn’t find it but yeah, he just gave me this look like what did they win Bob?

 

Mickey Gordon  39:47

Don’t get me wrong. I read the article. I just cannot remember the title. I know it was on huffington post that was posted today. Right? I just posted yesterday but yesterday okay. So we’re going to talk about a little bit is a article that came out yesterday and It was essentially about a person who goes to a sex club on the regular and her experience. And a lot of times when you find these articles, I think one of the things that always drives me crazy whether they’re talking about keto, which we’ve already talked about, we love they always get it wrong. And then when people talk about lifestyle or swinging, they almost always get it wrong. There was a show that we watched it was only on for one season. Swingtown. That’s right. He was awesome. If you haven’t seen that show, super cool. And it was fairly accurate, right? It was it was a little more real, even though it was a you know, a fictional like, I don’t know if you call them a rom com or dramatic calm, like it, but it definitely had a more realistic take on on those situations. And I think the problem with some of those articles that they’re winning, written from a third party perspective, really do you see a writer that is in the lifestyle, writing about the lifestyle, and what I loved about this one is that it’s exactly who it is. So I feel they’re a lot more objective about the experiences. So I would say that’s, that’s absolutely true. If they’re not already part of it, then they are writing about it from a very uncomfortable perspective. When we read about some of the people that go to eat Oh, these these writers, and they come out of it, like people approached me. Right, like, why are you whispering? You’re writing, but they do they? They write about it from this, this skewed perspective. So I want to give huffingtonpost credit for starters, I finding a stringer that was in the lifestyle, and in publishing this article, from a perspective, first of all, from a woman’s perspective, which I think there’s far too little of that because there’s a lot of people that have this perception that this is a male driven lifestyle. And I don’t think it is. But she attends a sex party in New York City every month and here’s what happens there. I that’s their headline. She’s a very beautiful woman. If you haven’t looked at the article, check it out. Um, her name is Spencer Jones. Yes, yeah, great writer. I’m very descriptive. And what I thought was unique is this isn’t just like your typical club, this is a cooperative, so the location changes every month. Um, they have different roles as far as you know, you know, who can attend, you know, membership, just like clubs is a little less for couples and Single Ladies and single men if they want to attend, they have to be vetted. And they cannot play alone and what I thought was interesting about that article as well was that they cannot go back into a play room without a woman and she said woman specifically. So I found that interesting. So we’re gonna send her a message later today and I’m gonna see if there’s more detail there because this is just a Is this a more like traditional like relationship when you think about you know, couples man and a woman? Are they not open to the the the lb gt community in this one? There’s a lot more letters there that we missed in on it. Oh, yeah. And I apologize for that. It’s not that we aren’t inclusive it’s that honestly we just can’t remember them all because we’re so yeah, I may be going down a rabbit hole that one but I thought it was very, very interesting that it was specifically stated that a single man or a man in general cannot go back to the play areas without a woman right? That is very strange. So strange, which I don’t I bet they probably don’t even mean anything by that. That maybe

 

Mallory Gordon  43:18

was just like the way it was written they may be an IT company

 

Mickey Gordon  43:22

because aren’t our experience has been very inclusive. We met lesbian lifestyle couples. Oh, yeah. Right. We’ve met a couple of gay lifestyle couples. In

 

Mallory Gordon  43:29

SF you triads.

 

Mickey Gordon  43:30

Yeah. A couple of triads. Yeah. We’ve we’ve met a few of those. And Matter of fact that I just followed a lesbian lifestyle podcast. Yeah, the podcast about their lives as lesbian, podcast, and lifestyle. So I thought that was super cool. But I think that’s a really interesting take, because I miss that completely. And that’s why we love doing this kind of lifestyle and the news to read about this, because my take Actually, she posted that, essentially, most places you go are male dominated, and the way it was written was made, it seemed like most clubs are male dominated, and that this Yeah, that it was this cooperative. And the way that this party is structured is that the women are more have more freedoms or feel safer than they do inside a traditional club atmosphere. And, you know, I’m torn because I’ve been places where I don’t feel as comfortable. But for the most part, most of the clubs we’ve attended, or the parties we’ve attended, have been clean while secure. I never felt like I was at risk. But you know, I can’t speak for the majority either. I speak from experience. Sure we haven’t. Country Exactly. But she’s also a single woman attending these parties. That’s true to that that does, that’s a matter of perspective. another layer just to quote her directly, though, she says unlike other swinger events I’ve attended this collective provides a rare space where women call the shots. Since there’s no culture of male entitlement at these parties as there tends to be elsewhere women can safely decline demands advances without worrying that he’ll become belligerent or even violent. First of all, I want to say, it sucks that she even has to think of that, that we live in a world where she has to feel that way. Because one of my favorite things about the places we go, the groups we go with, and the people we associate with, is if there’s ever a woman who feels in jeopardy, let me tell you, if I’m there, all she has to do is say the word and that dude has to deal with me. Yeah, well, and I think that translates to, to our community of people that we surround ourselves with. There’s, there’s, there’s not one person I wouldn’t feel safe with, or not one person I wouldn’t look out for. And that’s how that’s kind of how we operate when we run in groups like that, is everyone looks out for each other and everyone else, right? So if if you are going to clubs, right? If you’re listening to this, and you’re going to clubs, where maybe what she said is the norm, first of all, make a better club. All right, find some girls and I have actually seen it right. I was I was talking to Bonnie, when we first sat down to do this, about a club that a friend of mine and I have Matter of fact, the same guy that married us, we walked into a club in Las Vegas, I’m not going to call him out because I don’t want to sound negative but it definitely felt male dominated. There were dudes jerking off all over the place in there. And it was a little creepy. First of all, we were there like two guys walking in. But I just wanted him to see

 

46:19

I love that you guys hate it. Yeah, it’s adorable. No, it was love each other so much. No, they truly do. They’re there. They might as well have been brothers.

 

Mickey Gordon  46:29

Well, I wanted I want to show him because he had a lot of questions about the lifestyle. And so that’s actually something that’s interesting to point out about us too. We’re not out per se now, but there are a lot of people that know. So we’re kind of like one foot in the closet one foot out of it. But you know, he knows. And he’s always known. And so I said, well, let’s just pick a club here in Vegas. And we’ll I’ll show you what it’s all about. I mean, and it turned out these clubs allowed single guys to come in. I think we paid $100 a person for me to show this to him because it was incredibly expensive. And I’m like, okay, that’s the norm single guys pay more. And we go in and they had I mean, it was really cool, right? I mean, like all kinds of vegetation and lights growing in this place and at different rooms and bondage and rooms, all kinds of just like your normal club. Are you sure it was vegetation growing there? I didn’t touch it. I don’t know what was exactly. I’ve never been there. It was really dark. And what I noticed was there were more guys there than couples or women buy a lot. And so I kind of get where she’s coming from if that’s been her experience in New York, which is her frame of reference. She’s also her frame of reference is a place that used to be called Plato’s retreat, which is a legendary, that’s old school. Yeah, legendary. I’ve read stories about that place. Everybody has right big giant 70 stashes unprotected sex, all kinds of god awful things. So I get her perspective from there. But I’m worried that her perspective is more from this male dominated world that has treated her badly on some level. And I hope that the lifestyle community and the swinging community helps fix that perception. Maybe we’re reading a little deeper into it. But yeah, there’s got to be a jump off point for that perspective that she took June and that I think is good, too. Yeah. But I did enjoy the article very much. I think what she did, yeah, good for definitely. First of all, she’s screaming hot. She goes to these clubs. She’s having a good time. And she did not paint this in any kind of a bad light. She painted it as empowering. She painted is sexy. And she was very thorough, like it was almost it was it was like she’s in it. She’s definitely a journalist. Like I don’t know much about her background. But the girl can write. Yeah, and she’s thorough and like you can when she describes things you can, like see them and it feels like you’re there. Absolutely. So the cool part about this is that it really does paint a very wide picture of the six parties that she goes to and what actually happens, right so turns out she’s a creative writer. She’s got a creative writing degree from her scientists College in Oxford, so no shit she can write. Alright, I may have a little crush going on now. I mean, do you see in these anyway, that’s that’s rude. But I you know, she The last thing she says. And this kind of goes to the theme of casual swinger and why we wanted to do this in the first place. And it’s why I wanted to make our first podcast and with lifestyle in the news, and this article in particular, she says the lifestyle has indelibly changed me. And My only regret is that I didn’t discover it sooner.

 

Mallory Gordon  49:37

Amen, sister.

 

Mickey Gordon  49:38

Right. So that’s lifestyle in the news, check that article out on Huffington Post. I think it was a lot of fun, and I really enjoy hanging out with my wife, obviously. Oh, I love you to Clyde. Yeah, that’s one of my favorite things in the world to do. Besides, besides, with the backing away backing my wife, yes, your wife loves it when you buck A lot. So if we can encourage you guys to do anything, it’s make some friends. Have some fun, and make sure you catch up with us next time on our next episode, which would be absurd to have casual swinger. And make sure to send us your feedback at whereby www casual swinger calm or find casual swinger on Twitter, Instagram, SLS or cassidy.com. Well, that does it for episode one or casual swinger. Thanks for joining us, everybody. Yes,

 

Mallory Gordon  50:27

thank you, and we look forward to seeing you again on the next episode. That’s right. We’ll see you next time.